Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

"He's just a child."

That line made Asuma feel sick to his stomach. Before that so-called child showed up, things between him and Kurenai had been progressing smoothly. But ever since Naruto Uzumaki appeared, everything started to fall apart.

Now, forget about getting closer—he and Kurenai couldn't even speak to each other. She completely ignored him.

The first thing Asuma did after being discharged from the hospital was go find her—but he got the door slammed in his face. What Kurenai said that day still echoed in his ears.

"Asuma, don't come to me again.

Our future ends here. Let's draw a clear line."

Stumbling back home in a daze, Asuma blamed everything on that mysterious puppet and Uzumaki Naruto, who had been yelling at the time.

He even began to suspect that maybe Naruto had planted the puppet in his room himself. But thinking it over rationally… it made no sense. How could Naruto sneak into the Sarutobi household unnoticed when the Third Hokage was still alive?

And what motive would he have? Just because Kurenai was attractive, did this brat want to steal her away?

Ridiculous.

Still, even if Naruto wasn't the one behind it, Asuma couldn't stop himself from resenting him. That brat was now even flirting with his sister-in-law.

"Naruto-kun, are you going to read my palm again this time?" Sarutobi Hazuki asked with a bright smile.

"If possible," Naruto replied with a grin, "I'd like to read your feet."

Naruto and Hazuki sat facing each other, with Konohamaru beside them, eager to see what was going on. Hazuki's posture was graceful and composed, while Naruto sat cross-legged, casually holding Hazuki's hand. Konohamaru, copying him, sprawled comfortably beside them.

"Mom! Naruto-nii wants to see your feet! Hurry and take off your socks!"

As Konohamaru reached for Hazuki's tabi, she smacked him on the head with a sharp glare. He yelped in pain and scurried back to his futon.

Well played.

Asuma gave his sister-in-law a silent thumbs-up. That brat Konohamaru had become Naruto's number one cheerleader lately. Always going on about "Naruto-nii," always telling people Naruto saved his life.

Even his dreams had changed. He used to want to be Hokage—now, he wanted to help Naruto become Hokage.

Unlike Asuma, Naruto was quite fond of Konohamaru.

"Madam, Konohamaru is just a child. You can't use violence to educate him," Naruto said righteously.

"That's right!" Konohamaru added. "You're too rough, Mom! Naruto-nii was just trying to help!"

Hazuki grabbed both their cheeks—one hand each—pinching them until both boys cried out.

A family of three, held hostage by one woman.

Well, not exactly. Hazuki's grip on Naruto was much gentler. It felt more like a soft pinch than punishment.

"Konohamaru," she scolded, "you can't touch the opposite sex like that, do you understand?"

"But you're my mom!"

Konohamaru protested, "And Naruto was just helping you! Why did you hit him too?"

Naruto, still blushing slightly from her touch, insisted it was no problem—if anything, he wouldn't mind being "punished" again.

Hazuki sighed and tapped the floor with her knuckles.

"Still, there are guests here. You shouldn't just take off my socks because someone else asked, okay?"

True.

Asuma nodded along, satisfied for once. That kid needed a lesson.

Konohamaru nodded too… then looked straight at Asuma with newfound determination.

"Uncle Asuma, you should leave. Don't disturb Naruto-nii and Mom."

"???"

Asuma's expression twisted. Seriously?

You tell me to leave, not Naruto? I'm your uncle!

Hazuki turned to Asuma with a soft smile. "Asuma, can you take Konohamaru out for a bit? Naruto-kun and I have something private to discuss."

"...Right."

Hazuki was the matriarch now. What she said, went.

"Let's go, Konohamaru."

"No! I want to stay and learn foot-reading from Naruto-nii! Uncle Asuma can go!"

Naruto coughed. "Konohamaru, this isn't something you should learn."

"I'll try my best! You've gotta believe in me, Naruto-nii!"

You really don't need to, Naruto thought.

One village didn't need two perverts. Having him was more than enough.

"Then let Asuma teach you," Naruto said with a grin.

"I think Naruto-nii is better than Uncle Asuma. I want to learn from him!"

Naruto burst out laughing. Asuma's face darkened further.

This kid's too honest.

"Come on, good nephew. Let's go play."

Asuma forcibly pulled Konohamaru out of the room, even as he kept twisting and whining about staying.

But Asuma wasn't too worried. Naruto might be flirtatious, but he still looked like a kid. Probably couldn't even get out of bed in the morning without sunlight.

Konohamaru's shouting faded. Hazuki watched them go, then turned back to Naruto, giggling as she covered her mouth.

"If you tease him like that, he'll never stop asking you to teach him. Don't expect me to help."

"You think I'm teasing?" Naruto said, raising an eyebrow. "I really can read feet."

"Are you really offering to help me?" Hazuki asked with a curious smile.

She didn't believe in palm reading or foot reading. The world was too unpredictable. A monk once told her that her husband would live to be a hundred. He died in his twenties.

She herself had barely survived that same mission.

"If you're willing to believe me, I'll give it a try." Naruto said gently.

Still pretending...

Hazuki nodded anyway. "Go ahead." She didn't want to hurt his pride—and she liked Naruto. There was something irresistibly charming about him.

Hazuki extended her leg. Only a small part of her pale calf was exposed, but even that carried an air of seduction.

"Then I'll examine carefully."

Naruto leaned forward and cradled her left foot in his hands. Slowly, he slipped off the tabi, revealing a smooth, pink-tinged sole—soft, warm, delicate to the touch.

"Ahhn~"

Hazuki gasped involuntarily, a blush blooming on her cheeks.

"Madam, are you alright?"

"Why do you keep switching between Madam and Mrs.? I'm starting to lose track of what you're calling me."

I want to call you wife, Naruto thought. But I know you won't let me.

"It just sounds fresh and fun," he said, scratching his head.

He was about to invent some nonsense fortune and end it there when that voice returned.

[Triggered Voluntarily!]

[As a true gentleman, you suddenly hold your favorite thing in your hand. Isn't this your moment? What will you do?]

[Choice 1: Be restrained — make up a story, then leave. Reward: 100,000 ryō]

[Choice 2: Indulge — Hold it for 10 minutes. Reward: 3% Nine-Tails control]

[Choice 3: Savor — Put it in your mouth. Reward: 5% Nine-Tails controller]

[Choice 4: Go all out — ??? Reward: Hazuki's corruption value +30%]

Naruto: "…"

He admitted he had some foot fetish… but this was insane.

This damn system! Always trying to tempt me.

[Correction: This was a voluntary trigger. No input from the system unless the host calls for it.]

Busted.

And why was the system talking now?

For once, Naruto's face turned genuinely red.

"Naruto-kun, how long are you going to stare?" Hazuki asked, clearly flustered.

As she tried to pull her foot back, Naruto held it gently but firmly.

"Madam, this is serious."

"What?" Hazuki blinked.

"In terms of physiognomy," Naruto said, putting on his most serious face, "I've been trained by Master Jiraiya. I've learned the art thoroughly. And I can see it clearly now—your foot has a terrible omen!"

"An omen?"

"Yes! There's darkness gathering in your foot's pressure points. If not purified, this could bring misfortune. I must perform a ritual to dispel it."

Hazuki hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "What do you need to do, Naruto-kun?"

"It's simple!" Naruto said, gently massaging the arch of her foot. "Just a few talismans, and it should be cleared."

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