Love Among The Ruins

NADINE'S P.O.V

I kept that damned knife close to my side and I made sure to remind myself that I only did it for survival and not because I thought it meant anything.

There was nothing special about it but it was the only thing I had for survival and I would be damned if I let it go missing.

I walked close to Caine, careful not to get too close so he wouldn't get pissed at me while simultaneously trying to keep my breathing even. The sun was high in the sky but I could barely see it due to the sheer number of trees. We were hidden for the most part and the wind blew against me, sending chills down my spine.

We only stopped twice to refill our water battles and take a small snack. I was starving, I hadn't eaten a proper meal since I left but I couldn't complain, not when we didn't have a lot.

"When we get to the next hideout, we can start catching food," Caine said simply. "Even if we catch anything here, we can't kill it- not yet at least. We have to stick with fruits."

I wasn't sure if he had heard my stomach growling or if he was also feeling the hunger and was simply trying to comfort himself as well but I appreciated it nonetheless. It was like a beacon of hope, giving me something to keep looking forward to.

By the time the sky started to get dark, I couldn't help but realize that there was no cave in sight. The few we had passed were too small for the both of us. The sun was setting at a very fast rate and with each passing second, it got harder to breathe.

"Caine," I began but he held up a hand to stop me. "I don't mean to bother you but-"

"I'm trying to fucking think," he hissed, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"I thought you knew the path."

"I do but I forgot how small the caves were. We always went out in groups and we took turns staying awake so we could afford to sleep anywhere."

"We could try-"

"No," he shut it down before I could even finish offering. "You don't know what to listen out for. We would be dead within seconds if I left you awake and I need my rest as well. I can't stay up the whole night."

"What do we do?"

He was silent for a moment before sighing. "We have to keep walking."

"You're joking right?"

I waited for him to laugh, for him to say that he was kidding and there was somewhere for us to sleep but he didn't even crack a smile.

"You are the one that told me how dangerous it is to walk at night."

"Do you have any better ideas? There is a cave not far from here. It isn't ideal to sleep in but it is the best I've got."

I knew better than to argue so I just nodded and we kept moving.

I tried to be silent but even I knew that I was failing woefully. The night was loud thankfully, I could hear the crickets chirping and owls in the distance. It gave me some sort of relief to know that we weren't alone. One of the first things I ever learned from watching animal documentaries was that if the forest ever went silent- that was when you needed to fear.

It was chilly and I cursed myself for not grabbing a jacket. I couldn't slow us down by trying to retrieve a jacket from my bag so I tried to ignore the cold but it only seemed to get worse.

"Here," Caine stopped and shrugged his jacket off easily before handing it over to me. Instead of taking it like a normal person, I just stared. "Are you deaf?"

"Aren't you cold?" was what I blurted out.

He was in short sleeves under the jacket and I wasn't sure why but a part of me felt weird about taking his jacket.

"The cave is only a few more minutes away. I'm used to the cold."

He shoved it into my hands before I could protest. I mumbled a thank you but he either didn't hear me or he ignored it. It was much too big for me and it smelled like him but it was comfortable. The inside was so soft that I couldn't help but pull it tighter against me.

Caine lied about the distance of the cave. We walked for almost another hour before we finally came to it. It was so small that we couldn't stand in it but it was a lot better than sleeping in a tree and potentially falling out.

I was so tired that I didn't even bother getting out of my clothes or fighting with Caine about the sleeping bag, I just climbed into it. It was only when he settled behind me that I realized that he didn't have a jacket for the night.

"You should take your jacket back, I can get mine-"

"Don't bother," he ground out. "I'm tired and I know you are too- sleep."

'Are you sure?"

"Do you ever listen the first time or do you just enjoy listening to me repeat myself?"

I turned to face him. He was on his back, his eyes closed and his breaths even but he wasn't asleep. He was good looking, I would have to be blind not to realize that. With his eyes closed, he looked almost younger and calmer.

"Thank you," I whispered and he finally turned to me.

"You don't have to keep thanking me for a fucking jacket."

"I wasn't talking about the jacket. Thank you for the dagger, for sticking with me. You could have abandoned me in the woods."

He was silent for a minute and I gave up on him responding to me. I had turned my back to him when I heard him speak. "I thought about it."

I should have been upset by the admission but the truth was that I expected it. It was hard enough surviving on your own, sticking with me was just making things harder for him. I didn't know shit about survival, he was fighting for us both.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because it is my fault you're out here in the first place," he drawled. "I figured the least I could do is try to get you to safety."

"Why did you save me at the bunker? He would have killed me and it would have been easier for you out here. You would have covered a lot more ground if I wasn't here with you."

"I would have gone with the other guards," he corrected. "We would be safe."

"So why didn't you? We weren't friends, there was no reason for you to come back for me."

"I didn't come back for you."

I snorted. "Don't lie. There was no reason for you to be outside my room. You came looking for me."

I wanted to see his face, wanted to see the expression in his eyes but I couldn't bring myself to turn because a part of me was terrified of what I would see.

It took a long minute before I heard his voice again.

"Go to sleep, Nadine."