The Fighting Dog of a Ruined Organization

Carrot Market.

What’s a carrot? It’s a daikon radish.

Even though it’s been almost 7 years since I possessed this world, I didn’t know there was such an application. How far does the author intend to twist copyrights?

“Do you like me? Carrot! Do you love me? Carrot!”

I sang the Carrot Song out of exasperation, and Eris asked if I was an old fart. The two facts that the Carrot Song exists in this world and that it’s considered old-fashioned tormented me.

But originally in reality, this market app is for second-hand trades, right? Why does it deal with all kinds of goods here, not just second-hand items?

“Drake’s blood… Drake’s meat… Baby dragon’s baby food…”

This seems quite copyright-dangerous.

But I didn’t create this world, and no one is likely to be watching this world anyway, so it’s fine.

What I need is a hundred-year-old dryad’s branch and a goblin shaman’s skull.

First, since Yu Jin-ri said the goblin shaman’s skull was the biggest problem, let’s search for that.

『Search Results: 0』

I searched for “goblin shaman” but there were no results. Why is something with such a crappy name so rare?

For now, I should leave a post on the buying board so I can buy it if someone gets it.

‘Buying goblin shaman’s skull. Offer price.’ This should do, right?

Next is the dryad’s branch. Wondering what keyword to search with, I first searched for “branch”.

Various results popped up. What the hell is a branch of the World Tree? It’s surprising enough that there’s something like a World Tree, but is it okay to break it?

It reminds me of a certain novel where they do something they shouldn’t to the World Tree. Since it’s not for minors, let’s stop that story.

“I should search for ‘dryad’s branch’.”

Yu Jin-ri said it needs to be aged for a hundred years to be useful.

Is that why? Dryad branches aged less than a hundred years didn’t show up in the results.

“But these all look exactly like normal branches.”

Only thicker and longer ones are listed, but there’s no way to distinguish them from regular branches. There must be people scamming with 100% ordinary branches.

“Is there a way to check if it’s real or not?”

The internet can’t be trusted. If scammers collude and manipulate posts on the internet, people might buy fakes thinking they’re real.

So I called Yu Jin-ri, who would have already gone home.

“Yu Jin-ri, is there a way to check if a dryad’s branch is genuine or not?”

“Yes, there is.”

“What is it?”

“If you feel sexually excited when you see it, it’s a dryad’s branch.”

“Don’t talk nonsense like that and tell me the truth.”

“It’s true! Dryads are monsters that enchant and devour their prey with a seductive aura.”

I searched the internet telling her not to lie, and the results really say that. The internet can’t be trusted, but combined with Yu Jin-ri’s words, it can’t be denied.

“Meanwhile, in the related searches, there are things like ‘how to have relations with a dryad’… That ‘relation’ isn’t that kind of relation, right?”

“For someone as sexually curious as me, it might be.”

“You should reduce your curiosity, you damn girl.”

“Huhu, you should be careful, Hyeon-woo-ssi. If you get too immersed in the dryad’s branch, you might become unbearably sexually excited by the branch.”

“Then how did you handle it during experiments? Weren’t you excited by the branch?”

“…I’m hanging up.”

“No, wait, just a moment.”

I told her to wait, but Yu Jin-ri hung up. What on earth did she do with the branch? It’s my fault for asking while knowing, so let’s back off.

She probably just hugged it like a body pillow while sleeping. Or not.

“In the end, to check if it’s genuine, I have to see it in person.”

No, there’s one problem. I originally think relationships without love are meaningless, so I have almost no sexual desire, but can even someone like me be enchanted by a dryad’s branch?

“Seeing is believing, so let’s take a look.”

I clicked on a random seller and sent a message. It was a question asking to check if the dryad’s branch was genuine or not.

But the response as soon as I asked was strange.

《Seller: Are you male or female?》

What the hell, is this random chat? Why are you asking about gender?

I didn’t understand but told them I was male. Then it got ridiculous.

《Seller: This is only sold to women. Please look for someone else.》

What are you going to do selling only to women, you bastard.

For a moment I was dumbfounded, but this seller’s likelihood of selling genuine items increased.

Why, you ask?

The seller is a pervert and might show the dryad’s branch to women to satisfy the curiosity of women like Yu Jin-ri.

However, I can’t send Eris, Shizu, or Yu Jin-ri to buy it. I can’t send my precious family to this dark-hearted bastard.

They might lose something else unnecessarily if they go to buy it.

Or I could just find out the seller’s location and go myself, but that would be bad for the organization’s image. The reason gangsters are careful about their actions even when not legally punished is because of image.

We shouldn’t tarnish our image when we’re just about to revive. In the end, this seller is rejected.

“Then let’s look at other sellers…”

Other sellers didn’t ask pervertedly if I was male or female, and I could meet them right away to see the branch.

But far from being sexually excited, they just looked like ordinary branches. According to theory, if it’s not genuine, I shouldn’t buy it.

Of course, the sellers insisted to the end that they were genuine before leaving. That took a lot of time.

Look at that, the sun is already setting.

Should I give up for today? I’m starting to feel tired since I haven’t eaten anything except the soup rice for breakfast. I think I should go back and have dinner.

Let’s ask just one more person before quitting. With that thought, the moment I asked, I got another response asking if I was male or female.

This is really pissing me off.

《Me: What are you going to do if I’m a woman? It’s not just one or two people, you keep asking if I’m male or female like a pervert.》

I got angry and lashed out. But who can say it’s wrong to get angry at a pervert? I’m angry because it’s worth getting angry about.

But the response was strange.

《Seller: It’s not like that. If you were a woman, I wasn’t going to sell. I’m only selling to men.》

What? This is an even weirder pervert.

《Me: I’m a man, so can we meet and see if it’s genuine?》

Then the seller said to meet right now and sent their location. But why is it in a secluded back alley? This really doesn’t feel good.

But I’m not worried. I’m the one who single-handedly destroyed Banana Man. Unless it’s one of the top 3 organizations, I can win against anyone who comes.

If it’s one of the top 3 organizations, that would be a bit tricky.

《Me: I’ll come right now, so please wait.》

I went to the marked location. It’s an extremely narrow, secluded, and ominous back alley.

And the moment I entered the back alley,

“Hang nyang nyang~”

Why? Why on earth? Damn it.

“A doggy boss trying to mark territory hiding in a back alley! Caught red-handed nyang! A passing mohanya won’t forgive you nyang!”

“Wait, you were the seller?”

This is ridiculous. No wonder things were going too smoothly.

“I’m not nyang? What seller are you talking about?”

You’re not? What’s this about now? Then where is the seller?

At that moment, I got a notification on my phone. When I checked, there was a message from the seller.

《Seller: I’m sorry. I can’t stay in one place for long. I’ll mark a new location on the map and send it to you.》

Calculate the percentage probability of going to the location the seller called, but the seller can’t stay in one place for long so they move to another location, and a mohanya appears there going “hang nyang nyang”. (100 points)

“Hah, at this rate, isn’t this going to keep changing locations?”

If the seller is going to keep moving anyway, there shouldn’t be a problem hanging out with mohanya for a while. Of course, even if I don’t want to hang out, mohanya would forcibly hold onto me.

“So? What are you going to teach me today?”

“Hang nyang nyang! Is that all you have to say when we meet after so long nyang? Can’t we spend time cozily chatting about this and that?”

Mohanya snuggled into my arms. And she kept drawing circles on my stomach with her black-gloved index finger, trying to seduce me.

When a psychopath with 10,000 combat power does that, it’s just scary, you know? Do you think a pretty face is everything?

“We’re not that kind of relationship. Besides, it hasn’t been long, you know? We met last night.”

“The sun has risen anew, so it’s been a long time nyang.”

“Never mind that, just tell me what you’re going to teach.”

“Sniff nyang nyang, mohanya is sad nyang. Doggy boss is treating mohanya like a tool just for learning nyang. After learning, I’ll be thrown away like a chewed-up gum nyang! Poor mohanya…”

She’s really crazy.

“Then what do you want me to do? What would you like me to do? I don’t have time for this banter.”

I’m hungry, the sun is setting. The seller will keep changing locations.

Can there be a worse situation than this?

“Hang nyang nyang! Did you think mohanya would ask you to do something nyang? Mohanya is like the wind nyang. Everywhere and nowhere nyang. So if mohanya asks for a kiss and you actually give one, you’d be kissing the air nyang!”

“Have you perhaps read Alice in Wonderland? You’re not mohanya, you’re the Cheshire Cat?”

I’m worried she might vanish into thin air like mist. I’m not worried about mohanya disappearing, but if she suddenly disappears like that, it would startle my heart, so that’s what I’m worried about.

“It’s a joke nyang. If you seriously believe mohanya’s words, the believer becomes the fool nyang.”

“Well, cats only meow for food when they’re hungry. Cats are cute, but they’re creatures you shouldn’t trust.”

“So even if mohanya acts like she likes doggy boss now, you shouldn’t believe it nyang. Understand?”

“Then you do dislike me, right? Can you please say that and go?”

“Hang nyang nyang~ Unfortunately, mohanya likes doggy boss so much she might go crazy nyang. If you want, I can show you proof right here♥”

“I don’t want to see it.”

“Doggy boss is so cold nyang~ But that’s why mohanya likes doggy boss nyang.”

Mohanya laughed “hang nyang nyang” and handed me a gun without fail.

“Today’s lesson is how to win against an opponent with a gun nyang.”

“You already taught me that before.”

“Hang nyang nyang! That’s right nyang. Mohanya applauded when she saw doggy boss defeat a gun by using a person as a shield nyang.”

Wait, you were watching even that? What kind of person are you?

“But when there’s nothing around to use as a shield, and when there’s no space to run around… In other words, how to win in a 1:1 situation in a narrow back alley like this nyang.”

“Can you really win?”

It doesn’t seem possible to me at all.

“Hang nyang nyang! Of course you can’t win bare-handed nyang. You need one piece of equipment nyang.”

“What’s that?”

“This nyang!”

Mohanya took out a sashimi knife from her inner pocket. It’s sharpened quite keenly.

“With just this, you can win against an opponent with a gun even in this situation nyang.”

And I couldn’t believe it, my pupils shaking.

Mohanya, holding the sashimi knife in her right hand, lowering her posture, and smiling leisurely.

Above her head, her combat power appeared.

『Combat Power: 100,000』

“Now then, shall we start the third lesson nyang?”