The SSS class adventurer is a divine cleric

For a single, beautiful second, Duke Elrath sat frozen, his face dripping, his mouth slightly open in shock.

Then.

"GAAAAAAAAAAH…!!"

Courtiers screamed, gagging. A knight fainted. The mage who'd opened the box vomited directly into his own robes.

Elrath shot to his feet, trembling with rage, his once-pristine ermine cloak now a biohazard. "FIND THEM!" he shrieked, voice cracking. "I WILL FLAY THEM ALIVE! I WILL DIP THEM IN ACID! I WILL…."

But halfway through his tantrum, a chunk of something slid off his chin and plopped onto his boot.

The Duke looked down.

And then he vomited too.

On a faraway hill.

The group climbed a gentle ridge, the path ahead lit by the golden hue of a late afternoon sun. Mita squealed with joy as Kaelen bounced her on his back, her legs dangling and arms gripping his neck tight.

Derek glanced over his shoulder and asked, finally unable to hold his curiosity. "Kaelen. What did you actually do back there?"

Kaelen casually adjusted Mita's weight and smirked. "Just left a little gift for our dear friend Elrath."

Mita tugged on his shoulder, blinking up at him. "Big Brother Kaelen… What was in the present? I want one too!"

Kaelen didn't miss a beat. "A brown package," he said solemnly, sarcasm dripping from every word, "for the Duke of Westhold himself. I even left it inside a gold rank bol. Real royal delivery."

Mita tilted her head. "What's a brown package?"

Derek and Alira whipped their heads around in unison.

"You did WHAT?!"

Derek in shock that he had done something so outrageous and Alira in shock that he had used a gold rank item.

Neal sighed, not even slowing down. "You're beyond salvation."

Johny, eyes sparkling. "You're seriously the coolest person I've ever met."

Kaelen, smirking. "I know, right?"

Derek groaned and picked up speed. "We're far enough for now, but if a Raven Knight scouts the trail and catches a scent of that madness, we're in deep trouble."

Alira grabbed Mita from Kaelen's back and threw her into her arms like a sack of bread. "We're not taking chances. Move."

Neal reached over and lifted Johny by the collar like a sack of grain. "Come on, fanboy."

Kaelen kept walking, unfazed. "You people worry too much. It's not like he'll come sniffing every field in Eldraus looking for a phantom turd."

Derek barked, "He's an Epic-ranked noble with a temper and a private army, Kaelen! You left a dump! You've probably just declared war!"

Kaelen flashed a peace sign. "Not war. I called it art of revenge."

Behind them, the hill remained peaceful. No alarms, thunder or scouts.

But still, their pace doubled, because when Kaelen Maglor called it art… it usually meant someone was going to bleed for it.

They didn't stop moving until the sun had dipped behind the western cliffs and the dirt path beneath their feet had long since turned to gravel.

The silence of the trail was broken only by the crunch of boots and the occasional chirp of nightbirds.

Derek walked at the front, eyes scanning the darkening horizon. His jaw was clenched, and his muttered curses had evolved into full-on monologues.

"…a damned brown package… on Elrath's border wall of all places… are you insane, Kaelen? You want to get us hunted across three provinces? You want our names carved into bounty boards?! You want me to die from humiliation?"

Kaelen, a few paces behind, yawned. "It wasn't on the wall, technically. Just… on the favourite table of Johny at our tavern."

"You are an absolute lunatic."

Derek spun around mid-step. Alira barely managed to pull Mita out of the way as the older man jabbed a finger at Kaelen's face.

"You are no longer allowed to act on your own! No more missions. No more 'gifts.' No more talking unless we approve it first!"

Johny raised a hand. "What about pranks that don't involve dukes?"

"Shut up, Johny!" Derek snapped, then resumed pacing.

Neal muttered, "We'll need a new continent at this rate."

"I'm serious," Derek continued, glaring at them all. "We are leaving the Frahein Empire. Not for a few weeks. Not for a season. I mean gone. Far. Somewhere no noble's shadow touches. We'll slip past the old border routes, maybe south past the Drenwild Divide. Or east. I heard the Shattered Chain Isles are empty these days."

"Empty because they're full of giant man-eating birds," Alira said dryly.

"Better birdshit than noble tantrums," Derek growled.

Mita, now cradled in Alira's arms, peeked up sleepily. "Are we running away?"

Derek softened a little, crouching to her level.

"We're not running, little one. We're just… picking a smarter battlefield."

She didn't fully understand it but she blinked, then nodded solemnly. "Okay."

Kaelen stretched again, unfazed by the scolding. "So… we are heading out at dawn?"

"No," Derek said. "We head out now. We don't rest until we cross two borders. Elrath's reach ends at Frahein's throat, and I don't trust him not to send out scouts in his nightgown."

Alira cracked a rare grin. "What a terrifying image."

Kaelen chuckled. "Bet he holds his wine glass like a dagger when he's angry."

Neal was already adjusting his cloak and gear. "I'm ready. Let's disappear."

Derek exhaled deeply, gathering his thoughts, his voice lowering into calm finality.

"This empire burned enough years of my life. If we vanish now, we leave no trail. No contacts. No papers. Just our legs and the roads ahead. Whatever lies next… we'll build it ourselves. Quietly. Until we're strong enough that no Duke, King, or monster ever threatens us again."

His voice fell silent as the wind picked up.

"Let's go," Derek said, already walking.

One by one, they followed. Alira walked silently beside him, Mita dozing in her arms. Neal kept an eye on the rear, his steps heavy with thought. Johny marched proudly with his short legs struggling to keep pace.

And Kaelen?

He smiled to himself as he walked.

Not because he'd gotten away with it, but because he knew he would never get away with it. He had thrown a match into a noble's garden and walked away. And without a doubt the nobles will be waiting for his return.

The wind carried them forward, into darkness, into wildlands uncharted.