A Certain Magical Hogwarts

The unicorn climbed out of the stream and trotted up to the three onlookers.

The girl slid off its back, and the small knot she had tied in her blue dress untied itself magically.

She raised her head, squinting as she asked in a dreamy voice, "Are you relatives of the Thorn Witch?"

William shook his head.

Hermione tilted her head in confusion. "Who's the Thorn Witch?"

"She's the old woman who used to live here," William explained, "Her name is Olenna Redwyne, but Dumbledore called her the Thorn Witch."

"A title like that sounds impressive," Annie said, curious, "Was she powerful?"

Clearly, in Annie's eyes, anyone acknowledged by Dumbledore must be extraordinary.

"Not exactly," William replied, "She was a Squib."

"Where is she now?" Hermione asked, concerned.

"After I bought the house, Dumbledore gave her a significant sum of money and arranged for her to move to the Sunset Haven Retirement Community," William answered.

"They say it's a great place with plenty of other elderly folks just like her."

"Sunset Haven…" Annie's eyes lit up, "I've heard of that! Professor Dumbledore mentioned it in a letter. He said it's full of interesting people, and everyone there is talented. He even joked that if he retired, he'd live there too."

"Oh? And what did you tell him?" William asked, interested.

Annie, who exchanged letters with Dumbledore far more often than William, had even received a two-way mirror as a gift from him.

"I told him that since he doesn't have children, he could live with us after he retires, and I'd take care of him!" Annie beamed.

William patted her head affectionately.

Honestly, compared to the "talents" at Sunset Haven, his sister's sweet words were far more appealing.

No wonder Dumbledore liked her so much—her Christmas gifts from him were always more extravagant than William's.

Clearly, William needed to learn from Annie's way with words.

"By the way, who might you be?" Hermione asked the blonde girl politely.

"Luna. Luna Lovegood," the girl replied quickly.

"I'm Hermione Granger," Hermione introduced herself.

"I'm Annie Stark!" Annie chimed in, her eyes glued to the unicorn.

Luna turned her gaze to William, staring at him intently. "I know who you are. You're William Stark."

"I saw your picture in the paper. My dad says you caught a Crumple-Horned Snorkack at Hogwarts, which made you the youngest recipient of the Order of Merlin."

"What's a Crumple-Horned Snorkack?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow. She had never heard of such a creature.

"It's a fictional creature," William explained with a chuckle, "Cedric swears by it, though. He even said he wanted to use a Snorkack horn to make a wand as a gift for Cho."

"It's not fictional!" Luna protested earnestly, "The Crumple-Horned Snorkack is a shy and magical creature. Otherwise, how else could you have earned the Order of Merlin?"

William shrugged. "Ah, you must be a fan of The Quibbler."

"I am!" Luna said brightly, sticking the lotus leaf into the unicorn's mane.

"My dad is the editor-in-chief of The Quibbler."

"…"

William was grateful he hadn't blurted out something like "The Lovegoods are crazy" or "That magazine's nonsense only fools kids like Cedric." That would have been far too awkward.

"'Extraordinary wisdom is a man's greatest treasure,'" Luna said, almost singing the words.

"Cedric is a wise man. He should've been in Ravenclaw. It's a shame."

William smiled. He found Luna quite interesting.

It was clear that, the Lovegoods, who could raise a daughter like Luna must be quite wonderful people themselves.

When Luna realized that neither Hermione nor Annie had read The Quibbler, she began to enthusiastically promote it.

"It's an internationally acclaimed magazine, it's very authoritative. Unlike The Daily Prophet, which is full of lies. They're just Fudge's mouthpiece, covering up the fact that the Muggle world is controlled by lizard people."

"For real, the Queen of England ****** is a lizard person. My dad says she'll transform on her 90th birthday."

Hermione: "…"

"It's okay. Sherlock Holmes will stop her," Annie chimed in comfortingly, "I wrote to Baker Street last year, and they replied that Holmes is studying magic now.

"When I graduate from Hogwarts, I'll help him."

Wait—what? They were actually on the same wavelength?

Unbelievable.

"Do you want to be an editor when you graduate?" Luna asked Annie, clearly impressed by her "wisdom."

"Cedric wrote to my dad once, saying he wanted to work for The Quibbler after graduation."

William almost burst out laughing.

Cedric had once said he wanted to open a wand shop, too.

Obviously, his interest in being an editor was fake, quite possibly an excuse to get free copies of The Quibbler.

William remembered how, as a child, he'd often linger by the candy floss cart, staring longingly and proclaiming that he wanted to sell candy floss when he grew up.

The real goal, of course, was to get a free treat from the vendor.

But the vendor had never fallen for it.

Cedric's ploy was no different, though it had also failed spectacularly. The Lovegoods, skilled at extracting money from children, were clearly the superior players.

After all, those funds went toward raising Luna.

"Luna, are you here for a visit?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, my dad said we have new neighbors, so I came to bring some crepes for you to try. I made them myself."

Luna removed a basket from the unicorn's back and handed it over. It was filled with sweet, fragrant crepes.

"Thank you," William said, waving his wand. 

A box of ice cream frozen with a Freezing Charm floated out.

"This is for you."

Luna accepted the box and tied it back onto the unicorn, treating the creature like a pack mule.

"Luna, where do you live?" Hermione asked.

"There!" Luna pointed to a distant hilltop.

A peculiar house stood there, resembling a giant chimney. Beside it was a massive wooden windmill that turned slowly.

"Where did you find your unicorn?" Annie asked, stroking the creature's head curiously.

"There's a herd of unicorns in the western valley. They've been living there for decades."

"Three baby unicorns were just born recently. Do you want to see them? I haven't named them yet."

Annie looked at William, her eyes sparkling.

Hermione's hopeful gaze followed.

Why were they looking at him?

What about studying?

What about the structured training plan?

William sighed. "Fine. Be back before dinner."

"You're not coming, William?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"I'd better not," William said, shaking his head, "Unicorns don't like male wizards."

"Why not?"

"My dad says it's because male wizards have wriggling maggots in their brains. Unicorns hate those creatures," Luna replied seriously.

"…"

That was a bit much. William didn't know what "wriggling maggots" referred to, but it didn't sound like a compliment.

Unicorns did indeed prefer pure-hearted girls and avoided men, but this felt like an unnecessary personal attack.

She might as well have said, "Men are all pigs."

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