A flirt's guide to conquering the protagonist

The moment the lunch bell rang, Saiki Kusuo was already moving. His books were packed, his chair barely made a sound as he stood, and within seconds, he was at the door, ready to disappear before—

A heavy hand clamped down on his shoulder.

Saiki stiffened.

"Oi, buddy! Where ya goin'?!"

Saiki didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. Nendou.

Before he could shake him off, another presence caught his attention. A new one.

Makoto Teruhashi stood beside Nendou, arms crossed, his dazzling smile in place. Unlike the students around them, who were still caught up in the awe of standing near a celebrity, he was looking at Saiki.

Saiki ignored him.

Nendou laughed, shaking Saiki slightly with his grip. "Man, you're always sneakin' off, huh? Not today, pal! We're eatin' together!"

Saiki sighed internally.

Makoto took a small step closer, finally getting a proper look at Saiki's face. His gaze landed on those pink eyes, the perfect symmetry of his features, the way his expression was effortlessly indifferent yet somehow... captivating.

And in that moment—

Oh wow.

The thought came unbidden, the exact kind of "Oh wow" that his sister's fans whispered in awe whenever she entered a room. But this time, it was him thinking it—about Saiki.

"Huh. I don't think we've met." His smile widened. "I'm Makoto. And you are?"

Saiki remained expressionless. "Saiki."

Makoto tilted his head. "Saiki…?"

"Saiki Kusuo," Nendou filled in. "My best buddy!"

Saiki resisted the urge to deny it.

Makoto hummed, his sharp blue eyes flicking over Saiki's face. Damn. He's got that cool, mysterious vibe. Sharp features, pink hair, and those eyes? He looks like he walked straight out of a shoujo manga.

Before Saiki could make his escape, Makoto grinned. "Hey, Saiki… are you dating anyone?"

Saiki blinked once. Then twice.

Nendou perked up. "Oh yeah! Ya never talk about girls, Saiki! You got a secret girlfriend or somethin'?"

"No."

Makoto's grin widened. "Really? A guy like you? I find that hard to believe."

Saiki didn't bother responding.

Makoto chuckled, hands in his pockets. "Guess I'll just have to figure you out over lunch."

Saiki's patience was hanging by a thread. He had two options: teleport away and deal with suspicion later, or endure whatever this was and hope it ended quickly.

Reluctantly, he muttered, "…Let's just go."

Makoto grinned, clearly enjoying this way too much.

"Atta boy!" Nendou cheered, throwing his arms around both of them and dragging them toward the cafeteria.

Saiki resigned himself to his fate. This was going to be the worst lunch of his life.

The cafeteria was packed, buzzing with conversation, clattering trays, and the occasional screech of a chair being dragged across the floor.

Nendou, leading the charge, stomped through the room like he owned the place, completely unaware of the attention they were drawing. Makoto followed with casual ease, effortlessly balancing his tray, while Saiki trailed behind, wondering if he could phase through the floor and disappear.

Unfortunately, Nendou was faster. "Oi, Saiki! Where ya goin', buddy?" He grinned, gripping Saiki's shoulder again. "C'mon, ya gotta eat with us!"

Saiki closed his eyes. Damn it.

Nendou threw himself onto a cafeteria bench, patting the spot next to him. "Alright, let's chow down!"

Makoto sat across from him, and with no other choice, Saiki took the remaining seat.

Just as Makoto looked up at Saiki again, something flickered across his face.

Oh wow.

Saiki immediately regretted not escaping when he had the chance.

Makoto, unaware of how obvious he was being, stole glances at Saiki between bites. Seriously, what kind of protagonist energy is this?

He rested his chin on his hand. "So, Saiki," he started, "you sure you're not dating anyone?"

Saiki didn't even look up. "No."

Makoto smirked. "C'mon, you're telling me no one's confessed to you before?"

Saiki remained silent.

Before Makoto could push further, someone interrupted.

"Saiki! There you are!"

Kaidou Shun strode up to the table, dramatically adjusting the bandages on his arm. "I was worried you had been taken by dark forces."

Makoto blinked. What.

Kaidou turned to Makoto, eyes widening. "Wait a second! You're—"

"Makoto," Makoto cut in, flashing an easy grin. "Nice to meet ya, Kaidou." He extended a hand.

Kaidou hesitated before shaking it. "How do you know my name?"

Makoto shrugged. "I heard Nendou say it."

Kaidou frowned. "Oh. I thought maybe you did research on me ahead of time."

Makoto chuckled. "Oh yeah, totally. I spent all night researching the great Jet-Black Wings."

Kaidou gasped. "You know of my title?!"

Makoto leaned forward conspiratorially. "Of course. A guy with an aura like yours? Impossible to miss."

Kaidou's face lit up. "I knew it. You have good instincts, Makoto!"

Saiki pinched the bridge of his nose. I can't believe this is working.

Before Makoto could push the joke further, someone else approached.

"OI, KAIDOU! SAIKI!"

Aren Kuboyasu, former delinquent turned reformed student, dropped his tray onto the table. He gave Makoto a once-over before raising an eyebrow. "New guy?"

Makoto nodded. "Makoto. You must be Aren."

Aren blinked. "Yeah… How'd you know?"

Makoto grinned. "Nendou mentioned you earlier."

Aren shrugged. "Huh. Alright." He took a seat, seemingly unfazed.

Makoto smirked. Alright, two down.

Meanwhile, Saiki was watching closely. Makoto was clearly trying to befriend his friends, though whether it was genuine or just his natural charisma at work, Saiki wasn't sure. Either way, it was annoying.

Makoto leaned back in his seat, glancing at Aren. "So, what's your deal? You got a secret identity too, or are you the 'cool tough guy' of the group?"

Aren's eye twitched. "I'm not—"

"He's a reformed delinquent," Saiki interrupted flatly.

Aren's head snapped toward him. "Saiki, what the hell—"

Saiki sipped his drink, staring off into the distance.

Makoto was starting to think he was a natural at this whole "blending in" thing. He'd only been at PK Academy for a few hours, and now here he was, sitting at a lunch table with a bunch of guys he barely knew.

Well, mostly guys. If Saiki counted.

Not that Saiki wasn't a guy. He obviously was. A very quiet, very pink-haired, very pretty guy.

Makoto took a sip of his drink, casually side-eyeing Saiki like he wasn't completely aware of him. Seriously, what kind of high school student looks this effortlessly good?

"Oi, Makoto!" Nendou's voice suddenly boomed next to him, nearly making him choke. "Try this!"

Before Makoto could react, an absurd pile of food was dumped onto his tray. A horrifying mix of curry, bread, and what looked like… an entire fish?

Makoto stared at it, then at Nendou. "What am I looking at?"

"Lunch! Ain't it great?" Nendou grinned, clearly proud of his culinary crime.

Kaidou, sitting across from them, visibly recoiled. "That's not lunch, that's an abomination."

Makoto poked at the fish with his chopsticks, skeptical. "You sure this is edible?"

Nendou clapped a hand on Makoto's shoulder with enough force to nearly knock him off the bench. "'Course it is! I eat this kinda stuff all the time!"

Makoto side-eyed him. "That explains a lot, actually."

Aren chuckled. "If you survive, you're officially one of us."

Makoto sighed but took a bite anyway. Immediately, regret. The flavors did not mix. At all. His soul briefly left his body.

Kaidou leaned in. "Well?"

Makoto chewed slowly, processing his life choices. "...I see things clearer now."

Nendou slapped his back so hard Makoto swore he saw stars. "Knew you'd like it!"

Makoto fought for his life to swallow. "Yeah, sure, let's go with that."

While everyone else was laughing, Makoto turned his attention back to Saiki, who had somehow managed to stay completely uninvolved in the chaos. He was just quietly eating his coffee jelly, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else.

Man, even the way he ignores people is kinda attractive.

Makoto leaned closer, resting his chin on his hand. "You know, Saiki, you haven't said much this whole time. You shy or just playing hard to get?"

Saiki didn't even look up. "Neither."

Makoto grinned. "Oof, shot down in record time. You do this to everyone, or am I special?"

Saiki finally glanced at him, his face unreadable. "No."

Makoto let out a dramatic sigh, placing a hand over his heart. "Harsh. At least pretend I'm charming."

Nendou, completely missing the actual context, laughed. "Makoto, you're a funny guy!"

Kaidou shook his head. "More like a masochist."

Makoto smirked, resting his cheek on his palm as he watched Saiki. "Eh, maybe I just like a challenge."

Saiki, very pointedly, turned his attention back to his coffee jelly.

Makoto chuckled to himself. Oh yeah. This is gonna be fun.

That night, as soon as Bai Ying got back to the Teruhashi house and locked himself in his room, he flopped onto his bed and let out a groan.

"System," he muttered. "How exactly am I supposed to romance someone like Saiki?"

[Analyzing target…]

Bai Ying waited.

[Results: High difficulty. Target is highly intelligent, perceptive, and uninterested in romance. Success rate: 3%.]

Bai Ying sat up. "THREE PERCENT?!"

[Recalculating… If host adjusts approach to be less annoying, probability increases to 5%.]

Bai Ying groaned, rolling onto his stomach. "You're telling me I have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting Saiki to like me?"

[Correct.]

Bai Ying buried his face in his pillow. "I hate this."

[Advice: Focus on friendship first. Do not act like an idiot.]

Bai Ying groaned even louder. "But I am an idiot."

[Yes. That is the problem.]

Bai Ying grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at the ceiling. "Fine. Friendship first. I can do that."