A strange new life [Naruto fanfiction]

"Thank you, Obaa-chan," I said with a small bow, offering my simplified 'thank you' kit to the old woman. I still felt queasy regarding the past night events, but I hoped it didn't show on my face.

"It's nothing, dear, I hope you find the little critter," Obaa-chan said, taking my offerings.

They weren't the full 'thank you' kit, just a much-reduced version. A lack of funds had forced me to restructure most of my kits. Without the extra income from the seals, without my mission savings, and having to fulfill orders that had already been paid, I was forced to compromise.

But money considerations aside, at least now we had a clue where to find the ferret. The next steps were easy. Set a trap, capture and deliver.

The previous day:

It had taken us about a day's worth of travel, ninja speed, to reach the Land of Rivers. Following Yamato's hobbies, I created a house with mokuton for us to rest at the end of the day. I even included the seals to hide the place from prying eyes. That didn't mean no one would keep watch. We sorted our team into two-hour shifts, with Tenten taking the first watch, me, Karin, and lastly Ino.

Like Yamato's, the house was a two-story building with individual rooms for each team member. We were in the living room, just finished dinner, discussing plans for the next day.

"We'll ask around the surrounding farms for any sight of the pet." I looked over the mission description again. "If someone saw it, they should remember it."

I passed the info details around. It was peculiar, to say the least: tan fur and red eyes, nose, feet, and lower back black, and a coat of dark fur around its face and behind the years, framing a diamond-shaped tan spot at the forehead. No way it was natural, given the drawing of the ferret, but again, it was a pet. That much could explain the strange markings.

When the paper returned to me, I spoke again. "Once we have the ferret, we'll look for the owner," I consulted the paper, "Kahiko, complete the C-Rank mission and start the next one."

I got grave nods from Karin and Ino, who knew what the stakes were, and curious glances from Tenten.

"Find Tsunade. Convince her to return to the village. If that's impossible, try to get her help with a few special cases."

"Which cases?" Tenten asked, her eyes intense.

"Me, Rock Lee," I admitted.

"Oh," she said, then her eyes narrowed. "Rock Lee I understand, but what would you need her help with?"

I mulled over things. It wasn't a secret anymore, given that probably the entire village leadership already knew. There was no way the information hadn't leaked. But Tenten, despite not being as antagonistic as she'd been on the first day, always kept herself at arm's length. I glanced at Ino and Karin, who were just observing things. I shrugged. Took a few coins and placed them on the table.

"Here's your squad leader's order," I said. "Keep those stuck to your body with chakra throughout the day."

"No!" "Urgh." "I hate control exercises."

I ignored the complaints, got up, dusted my clothes. "Tenten, wake me after your watch ends."

With instructions given, I climbed the stairs and headed toward my room. I looked at the bare wooden walls and the bed. Thought about training, but I was already tired from burning most of my chakra to create the house. I went to bed and flopped on top of it.

I had barely closed my eyes when the door opened and two people entered. I glanced at them. Karin looked smug, for some reason, Ino looked angry.

"Do you need anything?" I asked, voice muffled by the mattress.

Karin nodded. "Sleep," she said, then walked to the bed and flopped by my side.

Ino was hot on her heels, jumping on my other side. The bed creaked and groaned.

"Don't you have your bedroom?" I asked, hoping for a peaceful night's sleep. I didn't mind a sleepover with Ino; she was a great hugger and very nice to snuggle with. But sleeping on the same bed with Karin was dangerous at the best of days.

"What? Don't we sleep together every night?" Karin said. 

Her eyes weren't on me, but past my shoulder and toward the blonde girl lying on the other side of the bed. I felt a shiver down my back. The hair on my neck stood. I could even hear the mashing of teeth from behind me.

"Huh," I muttered. Turned around, my back to Karin. Then I hugged a glaring Ino. Placed my head against her shoulder, closed my eyes. I felt her arms wrapping around me, in a very possessive way. I stopped paying attention to the outside world. Red and Yellow could solve that one without me.

Cold hands shaking my shoulder woke me up after what felt like just a second after I closed my eyes. There were hands, legs, and hair entangled everywhere. I blinked, looking at the looming girl over me. Her face was a mix of emotions I couldn't place.

"It's your turn," Tenten said, then turned around and fled the room, but not before casting one wild glance at the pile of limbs on the bed.

Leaving the bed proved difficult, but with a bit of wiggling here, pushing hands there, I managed to escape it, even if I didn't really want to leave.

Yawning, I walked outside the house to make my rounds. However, it didn't take long for the stalker to show up again. Maybe I was too tired, or finally too fed up with this situation.

Instead of ignoring it like I'd done far too many times, I created a shadow clone to keep watch, then stepped out of the house's privacy barrier and deeper into the patch of trees I used to hide the wood construction.

I walked a few minutes from the house, casting my chakra out and sensing nothing. Then I plopped my behind on a broken tree trunk and waited.

Minutes idled away without anything happening. The sensation of being watched was still there, but there was nothing other than the normal sounds of the night, wind rustling, and insects. It was close to the end of my shift when I threw caution to the wind.

"Come out," I called softly.

At first, nothing happened, but then the sensation of being watched disappeared. I heard rustling just before me. The snake slithered toward me from between the low grass, almost invisible in the moon's dim light above.

I was ready to bolt if the thing came any closer, but it didn't. The snake raised its head, yellow eyes staring before it morphed into the sword form again.

What the hell was I going to do now? Coming outside to confront the stalker had been something I wasn't sure would work. Driving it away once, and fleeing from it when it first showed up, only served to create something that'd been stalking me for months across half the Land of Fire and beyond.

I only had peace when I reverse summoned myself and Karin toward the badger's land. Maybe the sword couldn't or wouldn't follow? That was an idea, alright. Take the sword and give it to the badgers. They hated anything snake-related, which might be a step toward getting in a better relationship with them. I was still reluctant, however.

If the sword wasn't Orochimaru in disguise - Orochimaru had better things to do than fake his death to stalk me for months - it was, in the end, just a tool. And a tool was as evil as the hand that wielded it.

I got up and walked toward the sword. Stopped just shy of reaching it, then went over the situation in my head again. Before picking up the thing, I placed weight seals around it. If this was a trap, well, better be prepared.

With things ready, and without any other excuse for delay, I bent down and grabbed the dark blade's hilt.

The sword was heavy and cool in my hands. I lifted it up, held it in front of me. Waited for the bad thing that I was certain would happen. When nothing did, I couldn't resist the call to action. Giddy silliness filled me, and I mimicked what I thought were cool sword attacks.

Mid one of these wild swings, the sword in my hand morphed back into snake form. Before I could react, the thing bit my hand.

"Shit!" I shouted, trying to fling it off me.

The sword now turned serpent, faster than I thought possible, coiled around my arm, climbing toward my face.

"Shit, shit, shit," I cried out again. I activated the barrier at the same time it lunged toward my face.

No, not my face. My mouth.

To my utter horror, the thing invaded my mouth and slid down my throat, unimpeded by the added weight. It lodged itself somewhere inside me, and I could feel it now. Could feel it since it had bitten me, I realized. It was there, inside my body, just waiting to be called out and used.

I turned to the side and retched, spilled my guts out. I knew I could pull the sword out, but the idea of that thing slithering out of my mouth was enough to kill the thought.

Maybe a quarter of an hour later, my throat sore and blood seeping from my lips from the amount of retching, an even more horrible thought struck me.

Had I just french'ed fucking Orochimaru by proxy?