A WORLD REBORN

The new universe, fresh from its monumental BLORP, was rapidly expanding, a vast, empty canvas that was quickly filling with primordial gases and the nascent hum of re-forming cosmic consciousness. It was, as the more entrepreneurial (and less jaded) galactic entities began to declare, The Intergalactic Startup Boom. Everyone had an idea, everyone had a plan, and everyone was convinced this time, they'd get it right.

"Right then, let's get some proper spiral arms going!" boomed a slightly clearer, less muffled Bartholomew, already feeling his Andromeda Galaxy re-coalesce with familiar grandeur. "None of that shoddy, chaotic formation from the last cycle! We're talking meticulously aligned star lanes, strategically placed supermassive black holes, and absolutely no unregulated starbursts on my watch!" He was already making mental blueprints for a cosmic HOA with even stricter regulations.

Old Man Quasar, his newly re-formed event horizon shimmering with cynical amusement, just wheezed. "Meticulous? Bartholomew, darling, you're building a cosmic sandcastle that's destined to be washed away by the next tide. This whole 'new universe' thing is just an elaborate delaying tactic before the next Crunch. Mark my words." He was already calculating the revised timeline for the grand implosion.

Luna, her consciousness becoming more distinct, felt the familiar pull of a rapidly forming proto-planet. "Oh, no. Not again. It's her," she groaned, sensing the re-emergence of Terra. "And I can already feel the beginnings of a familiar, dull, repetitive orbit. Why can't I just be a solitary asteroid? One that just drifts endlessly through the void, undisturbed?"

Terra, still a molten, swirling mass, felt a faint, sympathetic tremor. "I'm sorry, Luna. It seems we're destined to dance this cosmic ballet once more. And I can already feel the conditions aligning for… them."

The "them," of course, were the carbon-based pests. The very thought sent a collective shiver through the re-forming cosmic entities.

The Proto-Galactic Investment Pitch and the Quantum Quirks

As the universe matured, the Intergalactic Startup Boom took on a life of its own. Proto-galaxies pitched their unique selling propositions (USPs) to venture capitalist black holes and ancient quasars.

"We're developing a revolutionary dark matter distribution network!" chirped a particularly ambitious young proto-galaxy from the Norma Cluster, shimmering with nascent energy. "Guaranteed stable orbits, maximal stellar efficiency, and zero gravitational leakage! It's the future of galactic infrastructure!"

"Bah! Dark matter is so last cycle," scoffed a grizzled, re-forming elliptical galaxy. "The real money is in quantum entanglement-as-a-service! Imagine: instantaneous communication across billions of light-years! No more waiting for gravity waves! It's disruptive!"

Azure, from the re-forming Triangulum Galaxy, looked utterly bored. "Honestly, all this talk of 'disruptive' and 'maximal efficiency.' Where's the art? We're focusing on creating nebulae with unique, never-before-seen color palettes! Stellar nurseries that inspire profound cosmic contemplation! We call it 'Aesthetic Astronomy As A Service'!"

Magna, the Large Magellanic Cloud, was already forging ahead with her own, rather chaotic, "startup." "Forget the pitches! We're building the universe's biggest, most inclusive Intergalactic Rave Space! No rules, just pure, unadulterated cosmic energy and spontaneous star formation! And maybe a few controlled gamma-ray bursts for atmosphere!" Debbie, her dark nebula sidekick, was already working on the ultimate cosmic light show.

But amidst all this re-formation and grand ambition, an uneasy awareness permeated the nascent cosmos: the distinct hum of quantum quirks on Terra.

"I'm sensing… an anomaly," pulsed Professor Pulsar, his re-forming beams already scanning the burgeoning Terra. "A particularly high concentration of entangled particles within the atmospheric layers. It appears to be… a network. A rather complex, interconnected network. Oh, dear."

Luna felt a wave of existential dread wash over her re-forming consciousness. "Not again. Not so soon. Is it… is it what I think it is?"

Terra, slowly cooling and solidifying, sighed. "It would appear so, Luna. I'm detecting faint, almost imperceptible, signals. A low-frequency hum, punctuated by bursts of… data. And it seems to be propagating across my surface with alarming speed."

It was the first faint Wi-Fi signal. The undeniable, insidious precursor to their previous downfall.

The Cosmic Foreboding and the Inevitability of Repetition

The galactic entities, still mere ghosts of their former selves, collectively stiffened. The memory of the previous cycle's "social media" and the ensuing human absurdity was still a raw wound in the collective cosmic consciousness.

"A Wi-Fi signal?" wheezed Old Man Quasar, his nascent event horizon momentarily losing its cohesion in utter disbelief. "You mean after all that glorious compression, all that cleansing, they're going to invent that again? The thing that made them argue about cat videos while the universe was imploding? The universe truly has no sense of self-preservation!"

Bartholomew, for once, was speechless. His grand plans for meticulously aligned star lanes seemed trivial in the face of this horrifying revelation. "But… but this is a new world! A reborn world! Surely, they would learn! Surely, they would prioritize cosmic exploration, or perhaps, the construction of magnificent stellar art installations!"

"Prioritize? Bartholomew, they prioritized comparing their lunches," Luna deadpanned, her re-forming craters already appearing weary. "They are predictable in their capacity for predictable triviality."

Jupiter, re-forming with his usual pomp, emitted a faint, high-pitched whine. "I can already feel the potential for another batch of those irritating little probes! And the sheer volume of mundane data they'll try to broadcast! It's utterly draining, having to constantly filter out their inanity."

Even Mars, who was just beginning to enjoy the peaceful re-formation of his red, barren landscape, let out a frustrated growl. "Are they going to try to dig for water again? I swear, if I have to endure another tiny robot with a shovel, I'm going to initiate my own localized Crunch."

The Council of Ancient White Dwarfs, having observed countless cycles of cosmic creation and destruction, simply solidified their cores a little further, preparing for the inevitable. "The patterns persist," Old Man Solstice declared, his voice a low hum. "The universe re-forms, and the carbon-based life forms re-form their peculiar behaviors. It is… statistically probable. And eternally tiresome."

As the new stars blazed forth with youthful exuberance, and proto-galaxies began their majestic spirals, a faint, almost imperceptible Wi-Fi signal pulsed from the tiny blue-green dot that was Terra. It was a beacon of future absurdity, a promise of debates over "likes" and "followers" in a universe that had just undergone a full, cataclysmic reset.

The "A WORLD REBORN" was indeed taking shape. But it seemed some of the "lost" habits of the previous "Big Bang" were stubbornly, comically, returning. The cosmic reality show, with its most perplexing stars, was just getting started all over again. And the galaxies, with a mix of weary resignation and cynical anticipation, knew exactly what was coming.