AFTER I LEFT

My phone buzzed in my palm. Richard

My stomach did a flip. His brother. I almost didn't answer, but curiosity—and maybe stubbornness—pushed me to swipe the call.

"Hello?"Richard didn't waste words. "Are you home?"

"Yes… why?"

"Come outside.We need to talk Damien wants to see you."

I froze. The silence stretched so long I heard my own heartbeat. Damien wanted to see me? After everything?

"Why can't he just call me himself?" I snapped, trying to cover how my voice was trembling.

Richard sighed like I was being difficult. "Just come out, abeg. Don't make me talk plenty."

I peered through my curtain. A motorbike idled at the roadside. Damien stood beside it, his hands stuffed in his pockets, head tilted toward the ground.

Part of me wanted to close the curtain and forget any of this was happening. But my feet were already carrying me toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Stella's voice rang out as I slipped my slippers on.

"Just outside," I muttered. "I'll be back."

"With him?" she called after me, suspicion thick in her voice.

I ignored her and stepped out.

The night air was cool, brushing over my skin like a secret. Damien still wouldn't look at me as I approached. Richard gave me a short nod and wandered a few steps away to give us space.

"So… what is it?" I asked. My voice was sharp even though my chest was tightening.

Damien finally lifted his eyes, and my heart tripped over itself.

"We need to talk," he said. His voice was lower than usual, almost shy.

I folded my arms and sat down on a wooden chair close by. "About what?"

He hesitated, eyes flicking to my lips and away. "About… everything. About us. I can't keep pretending like nothing's there."

For a few seconds, I stood there, remembering how we'd started. How he used to be this boy who seemed so far away. How he'd found ways to be around me, little by little. And how complicated it had all become.

My voice came out softer than I meant. "Damien… I don't know if I'm ready to talk."

His jaw tightened, like he'd expected that. "Okay. But I'll wait. Just… don't shut me out completely."

He stepped closer, and I caught the faint smell of his cologne. He didn't touch me, just stood there, close enough that the heat of him reached me.

For a moment, I wanted nothing more than to lean into him. But I took a step back.

"Goodnight, Damien."

His eyes searched mine like he was trying to read my soul. Then he nodded and turned away

---

It's not that I've stopped loving him completely.

But lately, the love feels like sunlight sinking behind the horizon—soft, fading, leaving nothing but long shadows where there used to be warmth.

---He used to tell me we'd explore the world together.

New cities. Hidden places. Secret roads only we knew.

Now, the only secret between us is how much we're pretending everything's fine.

---

And as much as I wish for one more adventure with him…

I can't forget the way he looked down on me sometimes.

Like loving me was an inconvenience he wasn't sure he could afford.

Like my dreams were silly stories I was telling myself.

---

Sometimes I wonder if that's why his brother's eyes always felt so sharp whenever he looked at me.

We're not friends. Not even close.

Anytime we talk, it turns into an argument. Words thrown like knives.

But I'd be lying if I said I never think about him.

---

There's a part of me that wants to get closer.

Not because I'm in love with him—at least that's what I tell myself—but because I want him to feel what it's like to crave someone he once looked down on.

Just for a moment.

Then I'd leave him drowning in his own thoughts, the way I've drowned in mine.

---

But that's another secret I'm not ready to say out loud.

---

I'm still figuring out how to say goodbye.

Because walking away from someone you love isn't as easy as closing a door.

Even if part of me knows it's already over.

---

Maybe the hardest part is realizing…

He's not the only person I'm trying to leave behind.