Although a Villain, My Wish is World Peace

"Not long after, I was able to find the person who made the first proposal to me."

Park Cheol-wan said, crumpling his face.

"They were dead."

At those words, Do Chae-hee drew in a breath. Park Cheol-wan continued:

"The same with the person who came next. I caught the third person who came to me. And I asked. Who on earth are you working for? If you go on like this, you'll die. But that person didn't listen to my words. No, they made a face like they didn't understand at all. As if they couldn't even hear my words. Instead, they handed me a letter."

Park Cheol-wan opened the letter the man had handed him with trembling hands.

[I hope digging into my background was fun.

I had a lot of fun.

Are you thinking of rejecting the proposal this time too?]

"Before I could say anything, the man pushed me aside and disappeared. And when I found him..."

Park Cheol-wan's body trembled. It seemed like she could know the answer without hearing it. Do Chae-hee continued inwardly the words Park Cheol-wan couldn't say.

He must have died. He must have been found dead.

"The people who came to me. They were all just ordinary people living ordinary lives. People who had never shown any strange behavior until that day. You know? Just ordinary office workers, restaurant owners, part-time workers, college students... They were just ordinary people."

Park Cheol-wan who said that asked Do Chae-hee:

"Do you know what that means?"

It wasn't Do Chae-hee who answered Park Cheol-wan's question. Park Cheol-wan opened his mouth in place of her, who couldn't easily continue speaking due to the shock.

"Whoever sent that proposal to me, it means they have the tremendous ability to draw people who were living ordinarily until just yesterday into this kind of thing. And it also means they're cruel enough to throw away human lives just to deliver a single 'word'."

Do Chae-hee looked at Park Cheol-wan with trembling eyes.

"Not for any other reason, but just to keep a secret, so just to deliver a message, they killed all those people?"

"Yes."

Would it have been a little better if they were all criminals, that is, criminals 'who wouldn't be strange to be used and die for this kind of thing'? Though the thought that came unconsciously made him want to vomit, it would be a lie to say he wasn't more shocked that even 'ordinary people' were drawn into this.

Killing people just for this? And how...

"It was perfect murder, Chae-hee. I couldn't find anything. People who came to me directly, spoke to me, and even handed me letters were all found dead, but I couldn't find any evidence. There was no evidence at all."

"If they were murdered..."

"The police concluded it was accidental death. Or suicide. They were such clean cases that even people around them accepted it without a single doubt."

All those murders were handled so perfectly that only Park Cheol-wan, who knew the circumstances, could know they were murders.

"It's nonsensical. It's strange enough that people who were living without any involvement in crime until just yesterday get caught up in this, but for them to even die and all those murder cases to cleanly end as accidents."

It would have been faster to think a god was playing with Park Cheol-wan. That's how much that whole series of events shook Park Cheol-wan.

And then the next person arrived.

With a neatly folded letter and a bright smiling face.

With trembling hands, Park Cheol-wan opened the letter first.

[It's starting to get boring, shall we make this the last one?]

He knew from that note.

That this would be the last 'proposal'. That he really had to give a definite answer now.

Looking at the middle school student smiling brightly at him, Park Cheol-wan nodded while crying.

"When I knew perfectly well what would happen to me if I rejected that proposal..."

Park Cheol-wan's body was trembling. He still got goosebumps thinking about that time.

Certainly, Park Cheol-wan reached the truth the proposer spoke of.

That he absolutely could not reject this proposal.

"How could I reject that proposal?"

At Park Cheol-wan's words, Do Chae-hee quietly looked at him. At him with a crumpled face like he would burst into tears at any moment. Do Chae-hee emptied her emotions. And asked:

"So you did what that person told you to?"

"What if I didn't?"

There was no choice but to die. Whoever made the proposal, they made that point clear. They're someone who can draw even people who were living ordinary lives until just yesterday into this mire and dispose of them without anyone in this world knowing.

"Chae-hee."

Park Cheol-wan's eyes reddened.

"I sincerely wanted to be a good person too."

Park Cheol-wan also wanted to be a good person. He wanted to live thinking he was a good person while righteously catching bad guys.

Because I'm a good person. Enough to come to this harsh place on purpose out of all those many paths. I should work on making this world a little better by catching the bad guys eating away at this world.

But reality, the reality he knew, didn't let him live like that.

A leash held by who knows who was put around his neck, and the owner of that leash ordered Park Cheol-wan.

If you don't want to die, walk this mire, they said.

The moment he refused that order, it was obvious what would happen to Park Cheol-wan's life.

So Park Cheol-wan decided to give up everything he wanted.

"I just couldn't find the courage. The courage to be a good person."

It was strange. It doesn't take any courage to become a bad person, but to become a good person, you need the courage to throw away everything you have.

"I wanted to live. Even as a bad person, I wanted to live."

Lee Ha-na is a good person. Isn't it enough to protect just that one person, he consoled himself like that.

But today Park Cheol-wan realized. That he can no longer be a good person to that good person.

Do Chae-hee dug up the fact Park Cheol-wan had tried hard to bury.

But nevertheless, Park Cheol-wan will make the same choice.

"Can you take responsibility, Chae-hee?"

At that question, Do Chae-hee blinked.

"If something happens to me."

"What?"

"I bet my life on this job. No, I didn't bet it. They bet my life for me. The only choice given to me was to become a bad guy without any other option. Or die."

"Ahjussi."

At Do Chae-hee's call, Park Cheol-wan said:

"Can you take responsibility for my life?"

The other side bet Park Cheol-wan's life, but what can Do Chae-hee bet on her efforts to reach the truth?

Do Chae-hee's face turned pale as she understood Park Cheol-wan's question.

"I, I..."

"So let's not ask me to cooperate for justice, Chae-hee."

Park Cheol-wan had already walked too far to sacrifice himself for something called justice.

Do Chae-hee finally realized what Park Cheol-wan was trying to say.

"I won't answer anything. Even if you think I'm a terrible person, even if you threaten me, even if you tell Ha-na that I'm a terrible trash."

Park Cheol-wan said with a crumpled face:

"Because anything is better than dying."

Yes, because anything is better than dying. Because I can't die leaving behind a sick wife and someone who only looks at me.

Park Cheol-wan also didn't think his choice was right. It's selfish. He knew that too. If we were to divide into black and white, he was clearly standing on the black side.

"Besides. I don't know any information important enough to bet my life on."

Park Cheol-wan who confessed like that added:

"Yeah, I don't know either. Who sent me such a proposal. Who's giving me orders. Because they've never come to meet me directly even once."

It's been years since Park Cheol-wan became their pawn. But Park Cheol-wan didn't even know who his master was.

"I know they're someone in a very high position. Whether a congressman or whatever. Because they're someone who can completely play with our ACD. So go."

Park Cheol-wan looked at Do Chae-hee.

"...Listen carefully to what I'm saying now, Chae-hee."

Park Cheol-wan approached her pretending to fix Do Chae-hee's scarf and whispered quietly:

"Director Cheong who runs an errand center."

Park Cheol-wan who swallowed hard with a fearful expression said:

"If it were me, I'd start there."

Director Cheong, errand center. It was just that, but it was tremendous gain. Even more so because the source of that information was Park Cheol-wan. But she couldn't welcome this information like before.

Because she saw Park Cheol-wan's hand holding her scarf trembling pitifully.

While saying he absolutely wouldn't tell.

Park Cheol-wan whispered to Do Chae-hee in a voice that seemed like it would go out at any moment:

"This is something you don't have to take responsibility for, just, like my last conscience, or my last goodwill."

Park Cheol-wan had already given up on justice long ago.

What was still most important to him was protecting himself and his family, and he was prepared to do anything for that.

Just because he leaked this secret today, it absolutely didn't mean he would walk the same path as Do Chae-hee from now on.

"When you return to the ACD, I'll stand in your way. I'll interfere with what you're trying to do, and sometimes I'll report you and punish you. Because that's how I survive. Yes, Chae-hee. I'll do anything from now on to survive."

Park Cheol-wan looked at Do Chae-hee and smiled bitterly.

"You'll have to choose someday too. Whether you threaten me like now, or whatever. Depending on that choice, your body will get covered in soot too."

It wasn't just words for his own safety. Because Park Cheol-wan's care for Do Chae-hee was sincere. This was also why he wished she would never know the truth. Because he knew she would react like this the moment she knew the truth.

"Whatever I say will probably sound like terrible rationalization or excuses from a bad guy to your ears, but..."

Do Chae-hee's eyes wavered looking at Park Cheol-wan. She couldn't easily say anything.

"I hate this leash too, Chae-hee. I really hate it terribly. But still. What can I do when I'm already tied up?"

Park Cheol-wan was a coward. He made the choice to push others away to survive himself.

To be with the one he loves.

Even knowing that choice was strangling his neck, even knowing it was distancing him from the one he loves, he couldn't take off this leash.

"Goodbye, Chae-hee. I can't say let's meet here again."

With those final words, Park Cheol-wan saw Do Chae-hee off. Do Chae-hee's expression as she got on the bus was complicated.

As he said, Park Cheol-wan is a person who cowardly compromised with reality.

So Do Chae-hee thought of Park Cheol-wan as an enemy. A bad person she can no longer walk the same path with.

In Do Chae-hee's world divided into black and white, Park Cheol-wan was clearly a person standing in a dark place.

But can she see him as an enemy because of that?

Should she view a person pushed into a shadowed place by someone the same as people who walked into darkness themselves?

He took one step towards Do Chae-hee's side today, and came out slightly into the light.

Of course, it was just one step.

But it was clearly one step forward. According to his words, a step that bet his life.

Would her heart have been more at ease if Park Cheol-wan had firmly pushed her away, so she could keep thinking of him as a 'bad person'?

'I still couldn't answer that I'm confident I can take responsibility...'

Do Chae-hee bit her lip as she rested her head against the cold bus window.