Chapter 2: 2 - Mr. Sebas is Reborn!
Read ahead of the available translations: [patreon.com/IbringupontheeTL]
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Summer 2025, Izu Islands
"Ugh... my head... gonna puke..."
Sebas groggily opened his eyes, only to be greeted by a chorus of *click-click* smartphone shutters.
Blinking against the sunlight, he found himself sprawled on a pristine beach—crystal-blue waves, palm trees, and the salty tang of ocean air clearing his fogged mind.
"Where the hell...?"
Fragments of memory surfaced: a grand palace, a bratty loli goddess, and... wait, did I grope her thigh?!
*Click-click-click!*
"Would you STOP taking pictures?! Show some damn privacy!"
Sebas scrambled up—and froze.
Surrounding him were a dozen bikini-clad women, giggling while shamelessly snapping photos. A few even pointed and whispered, eyes locked on...
Oh no.
His hand flew to his waist.
Oh HELL no.
His floral boxers—gone. Vanished. Leaving him *au naturel* under the midday sun.
"GODDAMMIT, NOT AGAIN—"
Just then, a police car screeched to a halt on the coastal road. Two officers leapt out, zeroed in on him, and charged.
Sebas stood frozen for a split second—then bolted.
"Chotto matte!!" the cops yelled.
"Chotto... what? Since when do I understand Japanese?!" No time to ponder. He pumped his legs, sand flying—
—until a wave of dizziness hit. Between the hangover and Angel's "bonk", his stamina was shot. Desperate, he veered toward the ocean.
"SCREW IT—YOLO!"
With a war cry, he dive-bombed into the waves, vanishing beneath the surf as the cops cursed behind him.
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Later, on a secluded reef
*"Guh—*HAH!*"*
Sebas hauled himself onto the rocks, gasping like a stranded fish.
"Never... running... naked... again..."
"Wow~! My chosen hero solves his first trial so easily!"
A sickeningly sweet voice rang out.
Sebas whirled around. "SHOW YOURSELF, YOU LITTLE—!"
"Hey! I am a goddess, you know? Keep disrespecting me, and I'll smite you with divine baldness!"
The petulant voice rang in Sebas' ears again.
"Goddess... Wait, that bratty loli?!"
Sebas finally placed the familiar voice—it belonged to the self-proclaimed goddess whose thigh he'd shamelessly clung to in his half-conscious state.
"Bratty loli?! I am the Great Goddess Angel! Watch your mouth, you—!" She cut herself off with an audible huff. "Ugh, never mind. We have important things to discuss, Mr. Sebas."
"Hold on, my name's not—"
"No interruptions! Yes, I named you. Your old identity is dead, so a rebrand was necessary. Now listen."
Ignoring his sputtering, Angel barreled on:
"As my *chosen* adventurer, you'll follow the contract terms—no, don't ask about the contract—and complete tasks via this handy dandy quest assistant! Do well, get rewards. Fail, get punished. Easy peasy!"
A flash of light erupted in Sebas' palm, leaving behind a grain-sized metal orb. Before he could inspect it, the orb sank into his flesh.
"HEY! THAT'S INSIDE ME NOW—"
***Beep!***
A translucent blue panel materialized before him:
[NAME: SEBASTIAN
CLASS: ADVENTURER
TASK POINTS: 0
ENHANCEMENTS: NONE
ITEMS: NONE
...]
Sebas gaped at the screen, his outrage momentarily forgotten. The interface could resize at will and vanish with a thought.
The left panel displayed his stats. The right? A glorious system shop filled with dazzling items.
His eyes shot to the top listings:
[HEAVENLY CIVIL SERVANT POSITION:
Instant ascension to godhood! Ultimate job security!
PRICE: 10,000 TP
HEAVENLY PUBLIC INSTITUTION POSITION:
Lesser godhood! Still a cushy gig!
PRICE: 8,000 TP
...]
Sebas' soul trembled.
"Even the celestial realm is this cutthroat?!"
Silence. Angel had ghosted him.
Scrolling down, he found *actual* affordable options:
[ARCHMAGE CLASS: Unlock fireball-chucking glory!
PRICE: 500 TP
PALADIN CLASS: Become a holy meat shield!
PRICE: 500 TP
...]
Sebas drooled. Magic! Sword beams! But the real steals were the enhancement fruits (5 TP each)—boost strength, agility, you name it.
Further down were weapons, pets, even toothbrushes...
Then, at the very bottom (1 TP), his jaw dropped.
"MY DAMN BOXERS?!"
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