Chapter 4: This and that [4]
I felt suffocated, not sure whether it was due to the realization or the sudden reveal of it all.
If I'm an Aberration, a carrier of an Anomaly, then was I, my previous life's memories, anomalous too?
Did I transmigrate because of an Anomaly or did Cecil become an Aberration because of me?
Who was 'I' then?
All these questions made me question my very existence, throwing my sense of self everywhere.
'I...'
My head hurts. I suddenly felt a blossoming pain at the back of my head, spreading throughout as if something dull had hit it.
It was too much.
As if sensing my pain, Roosevelt turned to look back at me, still maintaining her composed demeanor and expression.
"I know this is all too much to take in just one day, but you have no choice but to accept it as is."
Her words pierced through me like a sharp blade, leaving no room for resistance.
Out of either frustration or another, I instinctively retorted in my usual habit. "Accept it... Yeah, sure. Just accept that I became a monster. That's easy, isn't it? Of course!"
Again, as if this week couldn't have gotten much worse.
I transmigrated, got kidnapped, and now being told that I'm no longer human?
Any normal joe in my shoes would have surely tweaked out like I did.
Roosevelt, meanwhile, looked as if she understood what I said and didn't say anything. She just moved back to her seat and sat down, then spoke softly once more.
"Fear, confusion, denial... those are all valid reactions." Her hands folded on her lap, gaze steady. "You're panicking, Mr. Cecil, and that's normal. Humans do not cope well with powerlessness."
The way she said it made it sounded like an attempt at comfort. The cadence of her voice was calm, almost gentle. But the words themselves felt hollow and too measured, like she had studied the emotional weight of the situation but failed to carry it herself.
It felt like being comforted by a machine that had read a textbook on empathy.
"You may feel like your identity is fractured, that who you were and who you are now are incompatible. But identity isn't a fixed point." She continued. "It's a continuum. You are simply... adapting to the change."
I blinked at her, my expression unreadable even to myself.
Was this supposed to help?
I didn't say anything.
Instead, I let my mind wander again, spiraling deep into a pit of uncertainty and irrationality. Thought after thought, looping, tangling together. Questions layered on top of other questions, each one heavier than the last.
Then... silence.
My mind finally, and mercifully, went blank out of mental exhaustion or perhaps otherwise.
No more questions popped up.
Just... white static in my brain.
And when I came back to myself, barely a few moments later, I found Roosevelt still watching me. Still as patient, and still as disturbingly composed.
'Is this really how it's supposed to be?' I gazed down. 'If so...'
"So..." I muttered, breaking the silence. "Let's say you want me to be your detector for Anomalies or whatever..."
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Shouldn't I at least get the right to say no?"
I have to admit that the current life I'm leading isn't necessarily a normal one, and my recent transmigration was something I was still working at coping with, but I still had a say to this matter.
Because no matter how chaotic things may seem right now, I still wanted the right to choose between living the way I want in a nine to five job or be with these people.
My choice also mattered... Did it not?
Roosevelt's gaze didn't change, with naught of a flicker of surprise. She had expected the question.
"You do." She answered. "Three days. That's the time we're authorized to give you."
"Three days?" I repeated, frowning.
"After that..." She went on smoothly. "You will be taken in, consensually or otherwise. This is not personal, but just protocol. The presence of an active Aberration without containment or support risks a cascade of further Anomalies zeroing in on your location. You have to understand."
She leaned forward slightly, folding her fingers together.
"But cooperation does come with benefits. Like autonomy, access to information, and certain... liberties. You'll be given purpose and resources."
"Great." I muttered with a subtle sneer. "All the perks of being a lab rat."
She hummed. "You'd be surprised how many rats have chosen to work with us, Mr. Cecil."
"I bet they got a welcome basket, too." I grumbled.
With a sigh, I rubbed my temples and leaned back in the chair, trying to keep myself from lashing out, as if that was going to change anything.
"...Can I at least leave now?" I asked at last, voice quiet.
Roosevelt nodded without missing a beat. She tapped a button on her desk. "Guards will escort you out. Or would you like to be delivered to your residence?"
"No thanks. I can commute on my own." I replied, quick to the point. Really, all I wanted right now is just some alone time to process my thoughts.
"Very well." She nodded softly.
Moments later, I heard the soft knock of boots outside. I didn't resist and stood up, and let the guards take me.
As I exited, I caught one last glimpse of Roosevelt, alone in her office, her face as unreadable as ever. But I didn't pay her much attention further and walked away.
---
Left alone in her office, Roosevelt's expression remained neutral, her eyes vacant as if she were dozing off into the distance, up until a sudden buzz came into her earpiece.
She lifted her hand and tapped it, and heard a voice.
[Should we deploy the Oculus Team after Graymoor?]
Roosevelt thought for a moment before giving a short reply, "Not yet. His ratings aren't properly recorded yet. Letting him wander around for a bit and potentially attract other Anomalies in the meantime could help us gauge out his proper parameters."
[Affirmative. Should we send the Refraction Unit then?]
Roosevelt hummed.
"Request the Sunshade Cluster to be used for this operation, per Karolla Regulations. If it's not available, request for others below the Yellow Threshold that can either affect perception or cause a memetic infection."
[Understood.]
After that brief conversation, the earpiece buzzed once more and the voice ceased responding.
Alone without any other being talking to her, Roosevelt leaned back and tilted her head slightly, seemingly dozing off to the distance once more, with eyes clear open.
---
The air outside felt heavier than expected.
Cecil stepped past the threshold of the building, his feet hitting the pavement with a dull thud that seemed louder than it should be.
The world outside hadn't changed, and still had the same city sounds, the same lazy sun overhead, and the same indifferent wind brushing past him, but he had. Or maybe it was more accurate to say that the illusion of who he was had been peeled back.
"This way." Said the guard, motioning toward a waiting black sedan parked along the curb.
Cecil barely acknowledged him with a nod. His body moved, but his mind trailed behind, still lingering in that sterile, too-white office, still reeling from being called an Aberration, a not-quite-human vessel for something incomprehensible.
He took a few slow steps toward the vehicle before pausing, drawn by the urge to look back.
His eyes met that seemingly clean, corporate, and utterly forgettable building again. There were no barbed wires, nor any guards with rifles. Just glass walls reflecting the world back at itself.
No one would've guessed what secrets lay behind its doors. No one would believe him if he said anything anyway.
He scoffed under his breath.
'To think I was being released by the same people who had kidnapped me not too long ago.' He mused, trying to pull himself from his inner turmoil.
Cecil exhaled, as if to let the last few hours leave his body, and then turned back around and opened the car door. Sliding in, he sank into the seat and gave the driver his address.
"Sector 9, District 1 near Highland."
The driver said nothing, merely nodded, and the car pulled into the street like any other.
And for a short while, Cecil let himself stop thinking. No talking, no questioning, just the rhythm of the moving city through the tinted glass. He stared out the window, watching buildings pass, people blur together, and life continue on as if the world hadn't tilted sideways.
'How am I supposed to cope with this, really?'
With that thought trailing his mind, he silently dozed off while looking out the car.
Unbeknownst to him, however, that just beyond his line of sight, something anomalous occurred.
About half a block away, a young woman walking along the sidewalk suddenly staggered. There was nothing in her path, nothing she could've tripped over. And yet, her foot caught on something unseen.
She froze there for a minute.
Then, slowly, her head turned toward the black sedan disappearing into traffic. Her eyes tracked it, sharp and unblinking.
And then... A smile. Uncanny and jagged, laced with heavy breathing.