As Aizen in Naruto and Joined a Chat Group

[Scarlet Lotus Fairy has ended the stream. Viewers: 6. Total time: 15 minutes. Points earned: 90.]

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Thanks for watching, everyone.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Hehehe, no problem! This stream was really awesome, Sister Mochou.

This is an Actor: Too bad we didn't get to see the public execution scene.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: An Gongzi, I haven't even settled the score with you yet! What's up with that ridiculous name "Blushing Fairy"?

Doujin Artist: Hahahaha! Yeah, I wanted to ask too. Anzen-san, how did you come up with something that embarrassing? It's weirdly creative!

This is an Actor: Relax, that's just standard behavior.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Standard, huh? So even you can act this shameless, An Gongzi.

This is an Actor: Shamelessness is just part of being a man.

Amegakure Village's Angel: But right now, you're just a boy.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Pfft! Konan-sis just dropped the perfect roast! But yeah, biologically speaking, Anzen-san is still just a kid.

Doujin Artist: I'm the youngest in this group, no question about it.

Curly-haired Guy: The youngest, huh... *cough cough*, that kind of makes people imagine things.

Shark-Faced Guy: Gintoki, are you trying to get yourself killed again?

Doujin Artist: Quit those crazy thoughts! And besides, you haven't even seen it, how do you know Anzen-san is the smallest in *that* way too?

Curly-haired Guy: Huh? Do I even need to see it? Where's your brain? Just think about it—he's a 13-year-old boy, how big could he possibly be? Humans can't grow that fast, you know!

Doujin Artist: That's not for sure. Anzen-san isn't an ordinary human. Maybe... maybe he really *did* grow faster than normal?

This is an Actor: Even if you say that, there's no way I'm taking off my pants to show you.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Gasp, he talked back! Anzen-san actually talked back!

Amegakure Village's Angel: That's crazy.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: I knew it. Something's off about Young Master An today. Did he eat something bad?

Machete Girl: Can eating bad food really change someone's personality like that?

Doujin Artist: If it's a girl, yeah—during certain times, that kind of thing *can* happen.

Amegakure Village's Angel: Then drink more brown sugar water.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Does that stuff really help?

Amegakure Village's Angel: Of course. But during this time, you shouldn't eat cold, spicy, or harsh food—like ice cream, mapo tofu, or hot pot. Otherwise, it'll feel awful.

Machete Girl: No wonder. Last time I ate a popsicle during that time and ended up with stomach pain for days.

Doujin Artist: Konan-neesan knows so much!

Amegakure Village's Angel: No, Anzen-san taught me all this.

Shark-Faced Guy: ?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ?

Curly-haired Guy: Wait—how do *you* know stuff like that, Anzen-san? You're a psychology PhD, not a medical doctor!

This is an Actor: Of course I studied it. I even learned how to take care of sows after they give birth.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: *Pffft!*

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Post-birth care for *sows*?

Doujin Artist: Why would you learn something like that? That's way too weird! Are you planning to raise pigs or something?

This is an Actor: I actually thought about it.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: The almighty Aizen wants to raise pigs?

Machete Girl: This... the perfect image of Aizen in my heart is starting to fall apart.

Amegakure Village's Angel: I think Anzen-san feels more real because of thoughts like that. If he only showed the Aizen side of him, it would feel too fake.

Doujin Artist: Now that you mention it, yeah. I'd rather have the real Anzen-san than some idealized version of Aizen.

Curly-haired Guy: Tch. You're already his concubine, no need to keep confessing your love.

Doujin Artist: Shut up! This kind of "like" isn't what you're thinking, okay? You and your dirty mind, silver-haired perv!

Curly-haired Guy: As dirty as I might be, I'm still better than you, you blonde loser. Just a side chick and you're already dreaming of taking over? What a joke! I swear, Gintoki's gonna die laughing from this!

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Enough with the fight—look at my room. [Image]

Machete Girl: It's really dark. Is this in some kind of tomb?

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Mhm. This used to be my room. The furniture and layout haven't changed.

Doujin Artist: Looks kinda plain, but it definitely gives off an old-time feel.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Arisu-chan, are you forcing me to roast you? It's from the Song Dynasty, of course it feels old!

Curly-haired Guy: Hahaha! Eriri's brain must be broken. She can't even think straight anymore.

Doujin Artist: You're the one with the broken brain! Go die, you jerk!

Eriri was super pissed—how could that idiot Gintoki say a cute girl like her has a dog brain? Fine! She's gonna remember this insult!

This is an Actor: Mochou, what's your plan for the next step?

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Wait for the right time, build up strength. Once the chance comes, I'll take over the martial world in one shot.

This is an Actor: Yeah. Just go with your plan for now. If you need anything, just say it in the group.

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: Don't worry, I won't be shy about it.

Amegakure Village's Angel: No need to be polite, we're like family.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Exactly.

Wig Guy: Sob sob… Family? That's so touching! (emoji: fainting)

Curly-haired Guy: When did this wig guy show up?

Machete Girl: Totally missed it, he just popped in out of nowhere.

Wig Guy: It's not "wig," it's Katsura!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Katsura Kotarou-san, what's with that fainting face? Were you so touched you passed out? How weak is your emotional control?

Wig Guy: You're overthinking it, Ruiko-san. I, Katsura Kotarou, am a seasoned patriot who's seen all kinds of storms. I'm not that weak. It's just... a side effect from watching a DVD earlier.

Silence.

Everyone in the group fell into a weird silence as they stared at Katsura's message.