chapter 28
In truth, Felix had chosen the shared room out of concern for Lowell. If they were staying somewhere other than the castle, there was always the risk of Lowell hurting himself while sleepwalking in search of him. And since they were already sleeping together every night anyway, he figured it wouldn't be much different.
But what Felix overlooked was that there was a huge difference between ending up in the same bed by accident while half-asleep—and planning to share it from the start.
In other words, it meant they would have to endure a painfully awkward time together before falling asleep.
“I-I’ll go wash up first.”
“All right.”
Lowell shivered as if someone had walked over his grave. It was the kind of exchange people had before their first time. Felix, too, had looked stiff since entering the room, as if he felt something was off. The way his hands and feet kept extending in the same direction made it painfully obvious how nervous he was.
Seriously, why did he insist we stay in the same room?
Lowell grumbled inwardly, even though he was the one who kept crawling into Felix’s bed every night. He told himself there was no chance he’d need to take his clothes off tonight, yet still scrubbed himself thoroughly from head to toe. That alone made him feel pathetic—but his hands kept moving.
Anyone watching might have thought he’d nearly drowned, judging by how long he spent washing. Dressed in the silk sleepwear that had felt soft and pleasant just yesterday, Lowell now found it oddly provocative.
Get a grip. We’re just lying in the same bed. Sleeping. Why are you acting like some blushing virgin?
Lowell wasn’t the type to get shy in situations like this. More often than not, he was the one calming the other person down. And yet, for some reason, just the thought of lying next to Felix made him flustered.
“I give up.”
Lowell forced himself into the sleepwear and cautiously stepped back into the room. Felix, who had been sitting in a chair, flinched and then leapt up as if startled.
“I’ll go wash up too.”
Lowell lay down on the bed, closing his eyes tightly in the hope that he’d be asleep by the time Felix came out of the bath. But the more you long for sleep, the more it evades you. Even after counting a thousand sheep, sleep didn’t come—and then Felix emerged from the bathroom. Lowell tried to pretend he was asleep, but it was too late. Their eyes met directly.
And then—
What the hell is that.
The sleepwear was thinner than usual, leaving Felix’s body starkly outlined. Every curve of his muscles showed through the fabric, and the outline beneath his pants was unmistakable. Lowell didn’t know where to look.
Damn, that body’s seriously something else.
Even Lowell, who had been flustered and nervous until just a moment ago, found himself staring in awe, bewitched.
“What are you staring at like that?”
Felix, sensing the gaze, quickly threw on another robe and blushed. Lowell, caught ogling like some pervert, frantically waved his hands and stammered,
“I was just wondering… if I worked out too, would I get muscles like that?”
It wasn’t the whole truth, but he clung to the least incriminating explanation. Felix raised one eyebrow and slowly ran his gaze down Lowell’s body.
“You’re not really built to put on muscle easily. But if you want to train, I’ll help.”
Lowell, who knew just how intense knight training could be, wondered if his fragile body could even keep up. Still, he nodded.
“With the greatest swordmage in Halo teaching me, I feel very reassured. Um… would it be okay if I touched your arm a little?”
Seated on the bed, Felix silently held out his arm. Lowell carefully reached out to touch the thick muscle, which looked almost swollen with tension.
Wow, real combat muscle really is different from gym muscle.
Just gripping it gently made the muscle flex under his fingers. Fascinated, Lowell began to knead different spots. There wasn’t a hint of sexual intent, but Felix’s ears gradually turned redder and redder.
“Stop groping me already.”
When Felix finally blurted it out, Lowell snapped out of it—and realized he’d basically been feeling him up in bed. Jerking his hands back like he’d touched fire, Lowell flushed deep red. He scooted away on his butt, putting some space «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» between them. Felix, watching him, looked like someone completely different.
Just like earlier...
It reminded him of the moment when Felix had said protecting the territory was his duty. He looked bigger, more masculine. Even the thick, calloused joints of his fingers seemed newly imposing.
There’s a seven-year age gap mentally. He’s just a kid, a total kid.
That mantra had lost all power. The Felix lying next to him now didn’t feel like a child at all.
“I-I’m exhausted. I’d better sleep now.”
Lowell quickly crawled into bed, trying to escape the emotional turmoil brought on by this innocent tour of the territory.
“Yeah. You’re tired, huh.”
Felix, who was anything but tired—he could’ve run a marathon outside—slid into bed, absentmindedly stroking the arm Lowell had just touched.
Their breathing echoed in each other’s ears. The bed wasn’t small, but Felix was so large that their fingers and toes kept brushing. Every small contact made them both jolt and pull back like they’d been shocked. After it happened a few more times, Felix quietly reached out and pulled Lowell toward him.
“Ah.”
Lowell’s already-tense body trembled. Felix hadn’t expected him to be that startled and quickly released his grip.
“I just thought you might fall off the bed.”
“Th-thank you.”
Lowell wanted to smack himself for such a lame response. There was no way he could fall asleep like this. Every nerve was focused on not touching Felix, keeping his body rigid.
“You asleep?”
The moon had risen higher, but both knew the other wasn’t asleep. Even so, Lowell didn’t answer Felix’s question. He was afraid of how the conversation might change him.
“Sleep well.”
Felix’s usually blunt voice delivered the kindest words. A smoky apple scent filled the room. It was a warm pheromone, meant to bring peace. Slowly, Lowell’s taut body relaxed. His breathing grew calm, little by little. He was tired—and sleep finally came.
Moonlight poured in through the window. Felix followed its glow with his gaze and stared at Lowell’s sleeping face. His heart pounded just as wildly as the first time. At first, he’d wondered if something was wrong with him—but now he knew the truth.
Whenever he saw Lowell bathed in moonlight, his heart raced like mad.
How do people live with their hearts beating this fast all the time?
Felix tucked the blanket over Lowell and gently brushed his face.
Why does he want to stay by my side?
His suspicions had nothing to do with his emotions. Even as love took root in his heart, Felix couldn’t stop questioning Lowell. He always ended up wondering—if Lowell ever betrayed him, what would he do?
I probably wouldn’t be able to kill him.
Love, tinged with faint pain, shook Felix deeply. He finally closed his eyes with effort.
***
Bang, bang!
“Your Grace!”
Sleep, which had finally come, was shattered in an instant by the intruders. Felix sat up and, seeing Lowell waking as well, frowned. Dawn was just breaking.
“What is it?”
He pulled the blanket over Lowell to shield him from view and opened the door. A knight knelt on one knee, face heavy with guilt.
“Forgive the intrusion, Your Grace. I wouldn’t disturb your rest unless it were an emergency.”
As Felix had expected, he stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him. But the gesture was meaningless—Lowell had already heard the word emergency and was sitting up in bed.
What’s going on?
He leaned against the headboard, waiting for Felix to return. After a brief exchange outside, Felix reentered the room and began changing clothes—his movements swift and clean, no wasted motion.
“What happened?”
Sensing the gravity of the situation, Lowell rose from bed and asked quietly.
“It seems a monster in the eastern forest is about to awaken. Good thing I was outside the castle—we got the news quickly.”
Lowell’s face went rigid. He couldn’t hide it, even when he tried.
“You’re going to fight, aren’t you?”
There was no need to ask. Felix was a powerful mage and warrior, and it was his duty to protect the territory.
“Yes. I’ll end it quickly, so the town won’t be harmed. I’ll leave two knights here—don’t move from this spot.”
Even so, Lowell found himself wanting to stop him. His mind knew Felix had to go, but his heart couldn’t follow.
Come back safely.
Even though it was completely unrelated, for a moment Felix’s departing figure overlapped with the memory of his parents—leaving him behind with a final farewell. He knew it made no sense. Felix had nothing in common with them.
And yet…