chapter 44
Felix’s pale hand, where blue veins stood out starkly, looked like it would be cold—but it wasn’t. That hot hand expertly gripped both their cocks—too much for even Lowell’s two hands to handle—and began stroking them quickly up and down. It didn’t take long at all for Felix’s cock, which had wilted slightly after orgasm, to stand tall again, leaking fluid once more.
Maybe it was because they were soaked in pheromones, or because Felix instinctively adjusted the pressure of his grip so ◆ Nоvеlіgһt ◆ (Only on Nоvеlіgһt) delicately, but Lowell forgot how to breathe, overwhelmed by the sensation that rattled his head.
“Lowell. Answer me. Lowell.”
“Y-Yes… ugh.”
Felix, too, was drunk on arousal, as if his brain had been steeped in honey. His eyes had long lost their clarity, fixed only on Lowell’s flushed neck. In those dark pupils was a mix of beastlike desire—to leave a mark on his mate that would never fade—and a tender wish to protect him from all pain.
“Tell me who you’re with right now.”
Though he chose the gentler path, Felix couldn’t fully suppress the urge to carve himself into his partner.
“Felix. I’m… with Felix. Always.”
Even in the waves of pleasure that filled and left his body, Lowell gave the right answer. As Lowell gasped and panted, Felix tightened his grip and rubbed their slick cocks even harder.
The orange light flickered violently, and a momentary darkness fell. In that blackness, the two figures clung to each other with desperate need. When their lips met, the light returned as if it had been waiting. Watching Lowell clench his eyes shut and tremble lightly, Felix finally came, the climax he had held back for so long overtaking him.
“Hhngh…”
A moment later, Lowell climaxed again as well. Gripping the sheets with his toes, he let out a high, broken moan, body tensing and trembling over and over. The overwhelming sensations that had gripped him finally subsided.
And because he had been clenching so tightly, the exhaustion hit all the harder. Lowell didn’t resist the wave; he simply leaned against Felix. At the same time, everything Felix had suppressed began to unravel, like a knot finally loosening.
“Even if you told me to leave… I’d still stay beside you, so you don’t need to worry…”
Lowell’s voice grew quieter. His body, which had already been showing signs of fatigue lately, couldn’t hold out any longer and slipped into sleep. Felix held him tightly and gave a quiet reply.
“…Yeah.”
“I suspected you without asking first, and then tried to keep it buried.”
He spoke softly, like a confession, knowing Lowell couldn’t hear him. He never actually said the words I’m sorry, but the guilt staining his voice was more than enough to convey it.
“But you didn’t let it slide.”
When people have too much they want to say, sometimes they fall silent. Felix kept sorting through the words caught on the tip of his tongue but couldn’t form a sentence. He closed his eyes and gently stroked the back of the golden-haired youth who was so much smaller than him.
“It feels like everything about you was prepared just for me.”
Such destructive happiness, something he had never experienced before, inevitably came with an equal amount of fear. The negativity born from a life steeped in misfortune made him constantly imagine losing Lowell. He wanted to protect him, but at the same time, a part of him wished they could go back to before—if it meant no one else could take him away.
“Whoever it was that gave you to me… I won’t let you be taken away. Not ever.”
He lifted Lowell lightly in his arms and carried him to the bath. In the footprints he left behind lingered a tender obsession.
***
Lowell woke to the morning with a slight wince—the kind you get after strength training. Sunlight pouring in through the window told him it was well past dawn.
How long did I sleep?
His body, which had been completely bare and covered in all sorts of fluids, was now clean and clothed in fresh loungewear. It felt a little tight in places—he soon realized the top button was done all the way up to his throat.
Felix must’ve done this.
Still dazed, he sat up halfway, one hand on his waist and the other massaging his neck—when the mattress sank down gently on the other side. Felix, who had been working on documents at the sofa, came over as soon as he heard movement.
“You’re awake?”
“Yes. I slept really well.”
Felix slipped his hand over Lowell’s and began massaging his neck for him. Compared to Lowell’s grip, Felix’s was powerful—his muscles groaned in relief as he worked out the tension.
“Is your body okay?”
“It just feels like I exercised. Nothing worth worrying over.”
Felix let his hand trail down to Lowell’s forearm and massaged all the way to his fingertips. There was none of last night’s heated lust in his touch. Instead, he moved with the meticulousness of someone thoroughly inspecting something.
“Feels like your muscles are a bit stiff. I’ll loosen them up. Your lower back seemed sore too… I guess we went too far yesterday.”
With a furrowed brow, Felix carefully massaged Lowell’s entire body. His large hands were so cautious that it felt more delicate than rough. Relaxed by the gentle treatment, Lowell yawned and waved his hand.
“It’s not that. My back’s just been bothering me for a while. The pain from moving around yesterday…”
“What did you say?”
Felix’s hand, which had been moving steadily, froze. His voice turned ominous, and the room’s atmosphere instantly chilled. Lowell, who had been speaking casually, snapped to attention. He hadn’t meant to say that—he’d kept it secret because he didn’t want to worry him. But his mind had felt clear and his body relaxed, and he’d let it slip.
“When did it start? And why didn’t you tell me? Did you think I’d just ignore it if you stayed quiet?”
Questions flooded in all at once. Looking at Felix’s face—clouded with worry and anger—Lowell sighed internally.
To someone who believes his mother died from weakened health after childbirth… of course it’d be hard to bring up being sick. This was my mistake. If I wasn’t going to keep hiding it, I should’ve said something from the start.
Lowell knew he himself would’ve been upset if Felix had hidden something about his health. It stung. Ideally, he would’ve kept his mouth shut perfectly—but now that he’d failed, honesty was the best path.
“It started bothering me a bit last week. I just… didn’t want to worry you. I knew if I said anything, you’d worry a lot.”
“Were you planning to keep it secret for the rest of your life? So even if you were in pain, dying from it, I wouldn’t know—just because you didn’t want to burden me?”
His words were cutting, but his voice was quiet—and full of sorrow. As Felix gently ran a hand down Lowell’s back, Lowell blinked slowly.
“I think I misjudged.”
He looked directly into Felix’s trembling eyes.
“If finding out this late only makes you more worried, then I should’ve told you from the start. Right?”
Lowell looked almost refreshed as he admitted his mistake.
“From now on, I’ll tell you even the small things. But in return, you have to promise to do the same. If you’re worried, or suspicious of something—say so. Don’t bottle it up like you did yesterday.”
“If I promise… will you really tell me the truth when you’re in pain?”
“I don’t lie to you, Your Grace.”
Bathed in sunlight, Lowell smiled brightly. Felix, momentarily entranced, felt the tension in his chest finally begin to dissolve.
“…All right. I trust you.”
It was the first time those words had come from Felix’s mouth. Lowell’s eyes widened, lips parted, but no sound came out. He just sat there, gaping for a while—then burst into laughter. No words could possibly express the overwhelming emotion inside him.
“Let’s have the priest check your back, just in case.”
“Yes.”
“If you’re okay, let’s eat something light.”
Felix scooped Lowell up and carried him to the table.
He was always uncomfortable with my feet touching the floor. There’s no way I’ll even be allowed to dream of a walk until the priest says I’m fine.
Lowell accepted the spoon Felix handed him with obedient grace, thinking to himself that this was fair payback.
“It’s cream stew. Will that be all right?”
“Yes. I like it.”
Lowell wasn’t picky, and he happily ate the stew packed with carrots, potatoes, and beef. What stood out, though, was Felix. Usually uncomfortable around strong food smells, today he seemed completely fine—even took a bite or two of food without any apple or honey in it.
“Are you feeling better now?”
“I just… felt like I could eat a little today.”
Lowell wondered if it was a psychological change—or maybe the aftereffect of being thoroughly saturated in Felix’s pheromones after the one-sided marking yesterday. Either way, he decided to discreetly ask the priest about it later. No matter how many books he read, he couldn’t possibly know everything about this world.
“That’s a relief.”
“Yeah.”
Even so, Felix didn’t eat much. He had a bit more of the apple salad, then set his fork down. Instead, he waited until Lowell finished eating—then finally spoke.
“…Do you want to leave the tower?”