Bermuda [bl]

The loosely closed eyelids trembled finely as they felt the breath. Neither of them was unaware that this small tremor tickling the firm lower lip indicated agitation.

Perhaps because of this, Leonardo squeezed his eyes shut instead. He didn't want the other to see his true feelings.

However, the lowered blue eyes observed his demeanor for a moment before pressing down on his lips again.

Following the wet contours, leaving a hot trail on the golden eyes, they eventually reached the eyelids. After smudging the tear tracks, they slowly slid down the smooth cheekbone to the cheeks that still hadn't lost their baby fat.

The large hand gently applied pressure to the palm cupping the cheek. He knew it himself. This act was a bit too intense to be mere sympathy or pity. It was an atmosphere that could be dangerous if not careful, but at that moment, Hugo recalled his duty and slightly withdrew his head. The golden eyelashes that had been pointing downward slowly rose. Seeing the moist eyes in broad daylight made him feel as if he had become the villain of the century.

'Or maybe I really am a villain.'

Rubbing the sensation left on his lower lip, Hugo put on the most emotionless face he could muster. He tried hard to erase the precariousness imprinted on the sensitive skin. He sometimes doted on his young nieces and nephews who visited the mansion, but even then, he never went this far.

Despite clearly having many problems yet to be resolved, personal emotions made him completely ignore procedure. The scent of sunlight filling the room dulled his mind. Hugo briefly turned his head and rubbed his face, unsure of what expression he was making.

Soon, donning the mask of a kind adult, he asked gently as if speaking to a child.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

It was certainly an ordinary question that could be asked in the current situation. However, at that moment, Leonardo's relaxed eyebrows twitched in response.

In contrast, his bright yellow eyes didn't move an inch. Rather, this contrast made Hugo realize that a chilling aura was spreading around Leonardo.

"Nightmare?"

His tone of asking back was not just hard, but sharp. Whether it was because his voice was hoarse or not, it was certainly not a welcome response.

"A nightmare, you say?"

Leonardo snorted and asked again. The corners of his mouth turned up as if twisting, but his eyes weren't smiling at all. Hugo sensed that something was wrong.

At that moment, Leonardo suddenly sprang up from his seat.

Not knowing where he was trying to go, he staggered out of bed and walked barefoot as if performing acrobatics.

"Wait, Leo–"

Hugo, who had risen in a fluster, grabbed his forearm. Leonardo tried to forcibly shake him off, but suddenly, as if hit by dizziness, his upper body lost balance and pitched forward.

"Ugh–"

Fortunately, he didn't fall thanks to Hugo quickly supporting his waist, but Leonardo, who had barely regained his balance, immediately grabbed Hugo's shoulders and pushed him away strongly. Meanwhile, he kept his head bowed so low it seemed his neck might break, staring at their entangled feet. With his wet bangs covering his entire face, Hugo had no way of knowing what expression he was making.

"Leonardo, calm down and talk to me. Let's go to the bed. You shouldn't be standing up already."

"No, no..."

The low muttering voice, biting his lips, clearly didn't sound like he was in good condition. Hugo thought about forcibly embracing and carrying him, but fearing it might backfire, he first tilted his head to try and see Leonardo's complexion.

At that moment, Leonardo suddenly raised his head.

"It's not a nightmare."

"...What?"

"I said it's not a nightmare, it's reality."

Suddenly opening his eyes wide and saying incomprehensible things, Hugo could only respond with a bewildered question. Leonardo's eyes once again lost their light and shook. As Hugo remained silent due to the encroaching anxiety, Leonardo spoke again.

"Do you know Majes?"

It was a name he was hearing for the first time. Before Hugo could even form a question in his mind, Leonardo continued.

"Majes Pollenor. Southern Deparnel Plains, Rockpesha Plateau. Member of the First Selected Unit for the patrol operation to blockade the Third Strategic Point of the Turandos Army."

He recited the personal information of some soldier Hugo didn't know. But it was very fast and accurate pronunciation, as if reading directly from a book page.

"April 13, 993. Majes Pollenor, Vigo Raven, Karen Alistair, Leonardo Blaine, the above four persons received permission for outing. Hereby reporting. Thank you for your hard work."

Even more than Leonardo trying to choke himself, Hugo found his recent statement more chilling. His appearance, muttering with a dazed face, clearly gave the impression of seeing something different despite being in the same space. Then suddenly, Leonardo let go of Hugo's shoulders and leaned against the wall.

Dragging his feet, he reached the sofa in the middle of the room.

He sat with his thighs half-perched on the armrest, staring blankly into space.

"The guys said let's go to the village in Celeston. It's surrounded by the western Black Forest, and it's the only place that sells proper cigarettes."

This time, his tone changed again.

"I suggested we have a drink too, but that idiot Majes said he's going to buy a new jumper when he gets his paycheck this time. That bastard is secretly quite interested in clothes. Despite wearing nothing but uniforms 7 days a week."

It was a monotonous and light tone, as if telling an old story to a friend. But his expression was not so. As if suppressing resentment, the veins in his neck stood out, and his jaw and lips trembled.

Even as he rambled on incoherently, he recited without hesitation as if tracing vivid memories.

"He said he was going to save money, he fucking backed out, so Vigo and I forcibly persuaded him. Then on the way to the village, an old woman. She said she hurt her leg, asked us to help her. Hic, fuck, her accent was clearly Turandosian, fuck–. Why didn't we stupidly notice that. Ugh, we should have recognized it from the moment she called out to us, not knowing how scary the imperial army was."

The sobs he suppressed in between showed how immersed he was in that situation. Hugo instinctively realized that Leonardo was talking about his own past. 993 was a full 6 years ago from now. At most mid-teens, still too young to be a soldier.

"Karen said it was strange to have civilians near the demarcation line, said we should just go, but that idiot Majes said it reminded him of his dead mother, so he carried her, hic―"

"..."

"The old woman's body had dozens of booby traps embedded in it! Majes was blown to pieces along with that bitch! Damn it, Majes's head flew off while his limbs were dismembered-. Blood and guts burst out, have you ever heard the sound of vocal cords tearing? That fucking sound, the sound of dying alive!"

Leonardo shouted, tearing at his own hair with both hands.

"That guy's arm fell on my face, and I held it in my hand afraid I might lose it! How could he wear the new jumper without an arm? How, how could he without a head and now without an arm–"

His face quickly flushed red, continuously shedding tears larger than pearls. However, this time Hugo couldn't comfort Leonardo. He couldn't say anything to him.

"Gergan attrition defense line, yeah, fuck, then too. Then those idiots were having sex at the guard post and Jane got pregnant. They were ordered to return to the main camp, but they said they'd be forcibly discharged, their families would look down on them, so they asked us to hide them.

The bastard father ran away to another unit, and we moved Jane to the rear unit where she held out for 5 months, but she couldn't eat well so her belly didn't show much. The fool. But of all times, when they rushed in from the western ravine and we were retreating, why did she have to step on a landmine-.

Her lower body was already half blown off but she said to me, Blaine, please save my baby, Blaine! Please take out our baby before I die!

She asked me for help, but a 5-month-old baby, fuck, how could I take that out–!"

The words heard amidst the wailing stuck in the ear like thorns. Hugo could only stand still as if seeing the tragic scene before his eyes.

"How could I cut open a comrade's belly when I've only cut open monster bastards? Ha, what if I cut the baby too while doing that? The blade would be rusty and cause gangrene, if I kill my comrade with my own hands and can't even save the baby–, ...Ugh―"

At that moment, Leonardo, who had hurriedly covered his mouth, sprang up from the sofa. His damp soles leapt over the rug and landed on the marble floor with thud, thud, thud sounds. Running as if about to fall, he roughly flung open the bathroom door and plunged his head into the sink.

It happened so suddenly that Hugo didn't have time to react.

A sound like an animal panting echoed in the quiet room.

"Leo..."

The frail body buried in darkness without even turning on the lights convulsed severely in the abdomen. Hugo approached him hurriedly as if entranced. Then, deliberately not turning on the lights, he gently patted Leonardo's back.

Leonardo continued to vomit gastric juices, unaware that the capillaries around his eyes might be bursting and causing bloodshot. Since he hadn't eaten much, there was nothing else to come out.

But even so, he kept emptying his troubled insides, his shoulders heaving. As if trying to shake off the aura of death within him, he gasped for life, as he always had.