Beyond The Control

Chapter 26

“Yes. Have you eaten, brother?”

“Just finished eating. Let’s talk for a moment.”

My brother took me to the conference room on the same floor. As I followed him reluctantly, I felt a bit puzzled. Usually, if he had something to say, he would just say it at our seats since we sit next to each other. The fact that we were going to the conference room made me think, ‘Something’s up.’

Sadly, my guess was right. My brother, uncharacteristically hesitant, closed the door and said,

“I just got a call from Team Leader Joo.”

“Yes.”

“…For tomorrow’s 4th raid, Guide Choi Young-sun will be going instead of you.”

My eyes widened at this unexpected news. Words tumbled out of my mouth involuntarily.

“Why? We agreed that I would be guiding for a month.”

“I know, I know. Don’t get excited, calm down.”

Despite being told to calm down, I couldn’t. I asked again with an agitated voice,

“Why is Guide Choi Young-sun suddenly going?”

“Well…”

Gitae, my brother, scratched his chin as if he was in a difficult situation. It was such an unfamiliar expression that I wondered if my usually cheerful and straightforward brother could make such a face.

“It seems Song Ji-hyeok Esper directly requested it from Team Leader Joo.”

I froze on the spot. I heard it clearly with my own ears, but it took a little more time to understand what I had heard.

‘It wasn’t an order from higher up, but Song Ji-hyeok requested it?’

Why?

The word ‘why’ floated around in my head. I instinctively tried to find a reason, but nothing came to mind.

Recently, we had been getting along quite well, and the more I guided, the more it felt like we were clicking. Especially lately, as we even did membrane guiding, I could feel that we were gradually sharing sensations between us.

Song Ji-hyeok clearly seemed satisfied… I never thought I’d be backstabbed like this. It felt like I was being slapped hard on the cheek when I thought he was just caressing it.

I returned to the office, half out of my mind. Although lunch break was over and I should have gone to the skill training room, I forgot to leave my seat and was lost in thought. The words that Song Ji-hyeok had directly requested to accompany Guide Choi Young-sun wouldn’t leave my head.

Honestly, really honestly, I don’t think he had any complaints about my guiding. Since our first membrane guiding, we’ve been using that method consistently, and just looking at his expression after we finished, I could tell Song Ji-hyeok was very satisfied. Especially after the 3rd battle, while receiving guidance, he even subtly rubbed his front against me. I was conflicted about whether I should touch him or not, but the guiding finished just then, so I couldn’t do anything more…

‘Or maybe Team Leader of Team 6 made some kind of deal? He was desperate to bring Song Ji-hyeok to his team.’

Remembering that greedy face made my head throb. But these were all just my speculations, nothing was certain. As I was sighing heavily due to frustration, my wristwatch alarm went off softly.

2:45 p.m.

It was time to meet Song Ji-hyeok. Only then did I come to my senses a bit. I left the office with a mixed feeling, leaving behind the coffee I had habitually brewed in the pantry but hadn’t taken a single sip of.

Knock knock-

Following the knocking sound, the guiding room door opened and Song Ji-hyeok entered. The moment I saw his face, I felt a strange sense of dejection without realizing it. Unlike me, who was still conflicted, Song Ji-hyeok looked no different from usual.

His walk was confident and his expression was full of self-assurance. His attitude in demanding guidance was also unwavering. He plopped down in the seat next to me and, without a word, started to lift my chin. I quickly stopped him.

“Wait a moment.”

“Why?”

Why?

Whyyy?

You throw a house-sized rock into a calm lake and you ask why?

I knew I should refrain from expressing emotions through actions during guiding, but with my current state of mind, I felt I couldn’t possibly concentrate. Moreover, only Song Ji-hyeok could provide answers to my doubts and anxieties.

Beating around the bush wasn’t my style, and I didn’t think it was his either, so I spoke directly. However, I couldn’t help but feel a grittiness in my mouth, as if it was filled with sand.

“About tomorrow’s 4th raid. Is it true that you specifically requested Guide Choi Young-sun?”

“Yes.”

“Why? We agreed that you’d primarily receive my guidance for a month.”

“We did. Yesterday was the last day of that month.”

My mind went blank at this unexpected answer. Yet, my brain seemed to activate on its own, recalling the date when I first met Song Ji-hyeok.

…And to my dismay, Song Ji-hyeok was right. Yesterday was exactly one month since we met.

‘Ah. I’m screwed.’

For the first time in a while, everything went dark before my eyes. I had been contemplating whether to strongly demand that he keep his promise or to pitifully beg, but both turned out to be useless.

As I pressed my fingertips against my temples, a calm voice came from beside me.

“Don’t worry. I’ll try it with that woman, and if your guiding is better, I’ll choose you.”

If his compatibility with that woman, no, Guide Choi Young-sun is better?

I wanted to ask reflexively, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. I was afraid my words might come true.

Either unaware or unconcerned about my desperate feelings, Song Ji-hyeok spoke nonchalantly.

“If you have nothing more to say, just guide me.”

Despite his words, it was Song Ji-hyeok who approached first. Contrary to his prickly personality, his soft lips met mine, and at the same time, his slick tongue invaded my mouth. Even in this situation, I could immediately grasp Song Ji-hyeok’s state, which made me feel even more melancholic.

‘Looks like he’s been training his skills diligently.’

Although not as much as in the dungeon, compared to right after finishing indoor training in the beginning, his energy had noticeably increased. This meant he could use skills with greater destructive power.

“Hnngh!”

I felt a chill run down my spine as his hand caressed my back while we continued kissing. There was no time to feel embarrassed about the involuntary moan I let out. I had to stay sharp to prevent reverse guiding, in simple terms, to prevent the Esper from forcibly taking my energy instead of me giving it.

Ding- Ding-

Amidst the wet sounds, a device alert from one of us rang out. But neither of us reached out or turned our heads. We both stayed focused on our instincts as guide and Esper, competing with our intertwining tongues.

“Haah…”

The guiding ended just as a dreamy feeling beyond excitement was starting to set in. I wiped my saliva-wet lips and took a slightly labored breath to steady my breathing.

Even in this situation, my body was true to its desires. Although we had done full guiding, physically it felt like it had been interrupted midway, leaving an instinctive sense of disappointment. Then my eyes suddenly fell on the device on the desk.

‘Right.’

Remembering the alert sound I had vaguely heard, I immediately picked up the device. Song Ji-hyeok also took out his own device from his back pocket.

Tap tap, I touched the screen, but my display was clean.

‘Was it Song Ji-hyeok’s?’

Sure enough, he immediately made a call somewhere. I kept my gaze fixed on him since I was already looking.

“I just saw that you called.”

Judging by the polite speech, it must be Team Leader Joo or brother Gitae?

“I understand.”

There was no time to confirm if my guess was right. After ending the call, he left first, cool as ever, as if he had no lingering attachments.

Left alone, I slumped back onto the sofa. As I blankly looked up at the ceiling, I noticed it was engraved with a wood grain pattern like flooring.

‘First time I’ve noticed in 7 years.’

The physical excitement subsided quickly as if it had been a dream. After staying like that for a while, as if consumed by lethargy, I finally got up. Before leaving the office, I checked my appearance in the large mirror hanging on the wall next to me.

It wasn’t to style myself or check my hairstyle, but to check something else.

‘Fortunately, it’s fine.’

Despite the extended rubbing, my lips were intact. The problem was my face. I looked like I had aged ten years, as if I’d been hit head-on by the passage of time.

My bouncy skin was one of my few pride points… My stomach churned.