Bottom Trainer II (Pokemon)

...

Interpol's damn target this time? Only Team Plasma's P2 Laboratory, those goddamn sneaky bastards.

Who in the hell said the Unova Region Alliance wasn't gonna do jack squat? They were just biding their time, waiting for the perfect damn opportunity to unleash a world of pain. Like a freaking Ditto waiting to transform into your worst nightmare, silent but deadly as a Weezing's gas cloud.

The boss lady of this whole clusterfuck, Anabel, laid down the law and assigned tasks before this goddamn operation even began. No dilly-dallying, no time for poké-puns, just straight-up business.

"Alright, listen up, you miscreants! This is a rough map and how we're dividing up the P2 Laboratory, focusing on all the shadowy, unknown areas our 'informant' managed to sketch out," Anabel declared, pointing at a screen.

The map looked like a Spinda drew it after a night out drinking too much Oran Berry juice – a bit scribbled, not exactly precise. Frankly, it looked like a kindergarten art project.

But, you know what? Every damn layer and block was numbered, and the main function of these areas was noted. So, even if it looked like a Mewtwo's fever dream, having this map was a hell of a lot better than blindly stumbling around. We weren't about to play "Pin the Tail on the Gyarados" in some secret evil lair, for Arceus' sake.

"We've got two goddamn objectives for this operation!" Anabel announced, holding up two slender fingers. "First, we gotta back up the data from their main computer without those dunderheads even sniffing us out. This will be the most critical, most goddamn beneficial evidence we can get to nail these sons of bitches!"

One of the objectives was to expose Team Plasma's shifty behavior, so yeah, it made perfect sense that this was the priority. Get the goods, then smash some skulls.

"This task originally needed Professor Juniper's help," Anabel continued, "since she's the only one who can decipher this research mumbo-jumbo. But seeing as Professor Juniper couldn't fight her way out of a damp paper bag – seriously, her battle skills are weaker than a Sunkern's tackle – and Mr. Natsu is actually here, this glorious task is being entrusted to him. And you all better assist him fully, understand?!"

Anabel announced the assignment of the first task. Natsu's face was a masterpiece of "oh, for fuck's sake."

Natsu: "."

He shot Lance a look of pure, unadulterated "resentment." "Didn't you say there was no danger, you goddamn liar?!"

Lance gave him that fake, reassuring smile, whispering, "Don't you worry your pretty little head, Natsu. If anyone tries to lay a damn finger on you, they'll have to step over my dead body first!"

Natsu rolled his eyes so hard he probably saw his own brain. "Oh, sure, that's what you said last time at Stark Mountain, you clueless bastard! And what happened? I ended up charging in like a goddamn Rhyhorn and had to clean up your mess myself!"

It was, admittedly, a little touching that Lance would sacrifice himself to buy Natsu time, but if Natsu actually left him to rot, would he ever be stupid enough to trust Lance again? Have you ever seen a guy who clings to someone's thigh just to sell them out later? This ain't no damn Darkrai illusion, you hear?

Thankfully, Lance wasn't flying solo this time. He had a whole damn squadron from the Interpol department backing him up. And while the P2 Laboratory was important to Team Plasma, it probably wouldn't be swarming with their top brass. Maybe just a few mid-level goons and their pet Zubat collection.

Whatever happens, Anabel was here too. The living embodiment of the Battle Frontier's majesty. Team Plasma executives? They were no match for her. She'd probably send them packing faster than a Diglett tunneling away from a Machamp.

Security was still mostly guaranteed. The biggest pain in the ass was getting that data. If Team Plasma caught wind of their presence, they'd probably incinerate the database faster than a Charizard's Flamethrower on a Bug-type. This mission was definitely not going to be a walk in the damn park.

"Second task," Anabel announced, "try to capture this son of a bitch."

The screen switched, displaying the projection of a researcher with a smile so gentle it could make you wanna puke.

"That's Colress," Anabel spat, "who studied at the highest Pokémon Academy in Unova. Graduated, became a researcher, obsessed with making Pokémon stronger. But his methods? Too goddamn extreme, even for a regular lab! So they kicked his ass out. He disappeared for years, and now, surprise, surprise! The sneaky bastard joined Team Plasma and gained a lot of authority. What a piece of work."

"Calente," Anabel barked, "this task is assigned to you and your squad. Don't screw it up."

"Yes!" Calente immediately snapped, standing up straighter than a Hitmonlee after a stretching session.

"But remember, every single one of your actions serves the main goddamn objective!" Anabel reminded them, her voice like steel.

"CRYSTAL CLEAR!" everyone around them bellowed, ready to kick some ass.

Natsu and Lance's entire group, along with Interpol, were currently hunkered down among thick bushes, staring at the massive laboratory standing deep in the goddamn forest. It looked like some evil villain's wet dream, or perhaps just a really bad Gothitelle's fashion statement.

What they saw was only a small portion of the lab. According to the map provided by the "informant" who infiltrated, the real juicy stuff, the key to the entire facility, was in the underground section. Of course, it's always in the damn basement, isn't it? Probably where they store all their illegally bred Shiny Pokémon.

Click—

With a slight, almost imperceptible sound, the side door of the laboratory slowly creaked open. A Team Plasma grunt, after looking around like a nervous Sentret to ensure no one was watching, quickly scuttled towards them.

Calente stood up and ushered him in.

"Looker, what's the goddamn situation?" Calente couldn't help but demand.

This "Looker" dude was an Interpol member. He was primarily responsible for reconnoitering and apprehending important criminals, a key Interpol agent with skills sharper than a Gallade's blade. His greatest skill was disguise. The guy could probably fool a Zoroark into thinking he was its reflection.

"I don't know why, but a few days ago, a bunch of people just up and left the laboratory," Looker whispered. "So I figured, this is the best damn time to hit them!" He then glanced at a few people, his eyes finally landing on Natsu. "And holy Arceus, Mr. Natsu is here too?! I'm a huge fan, sir! Your battle strategies are legendary, like a Rayquaza soaring through the sky!"

Natsu rubbed his nose bridge. This fanboy stuff was getting old. Every damn person he met seemed to be a fan. It was almost as annoying as having to explain why Miltank milk wasn't just for Pokémon.

"Looker, mission's urgent, you love-struck idiot," Calente snapped, cutting off the impromptu fan meet.

"Right, right!"

As he said that, Looker pulled out two sets of Team Plasma uniforms. "Conditions are tight, folks. I only managed to snag two sets, damn it!"

In other words, for the sake of the mission, only two people could go in first. Natsu, being the damn leader of the first task, was a definite. That left one set.

"Let Lance go in," Natsu said, without missing a beat. He wasn't exactly buddies with the Interpol squad, so if only a few people were going in, Lance would naturally be safer. Plus, the idiot swore he'd take a bullet for him. Time to test that theory, you loudmouthed Dragon Master.

"Natsu and Lance will follow Looker," Anabel's voice crackled in their earpieces. As the leader, she was probably chilling in the command room, sipping a damn cup of coffee like a normal person, while everyone else was risking their necks. She'd jump in if things went truly FUBAR.

Soon, the two found a dark corner and changed into the hideous Team Plasma outfits. Seriously, these things looked like they were designed by a blind Trubbish.

"Let me just... fix you up a bit," Looker mumbled, smearing some weird gunk on both their faces. Their appearances changed considerably; with the makeup applied, they were practically unrecognizable. Good. Less chance of getting caught looking like a couple of dumbasses.

Then, led by Looker, the three of them snuck into the interior of the P2 Laboratory.

"Mr. Natsu, follow me and don't utter a goddamn word," Looker reminded him in a low voice, leading them deep into the corridor.

Sure enough, just as Looker had said, the lab was practically a ghost town. They rarely encountered anyone along the way. Even if they did, there was no small talk, no "how's your day, you evil bastard?" Just hurried glances and rushing past, like a couple of Volbeat on their way to a rave.

Looker had been lurking in Team Plasma for a long time, so he naturally had his ID card. With that, they successfully waltzed into the interior of the laboratory. It was almost too easy, like stealing candy from a Munchlax.

But Looker wasn't high enough in the Team Plasma hierarchy to blend in with the middle and upper echelons, so he'd never been to some of the really sensitive places, including the control room of the entire P2 Laboratory. Which meant it was time for some guesswork, you bastards.

Inside a narrow room.

"I suspect the control room is in area Z4 F4," Looker said, pointing to a black dot on the map. At the same time, he gave his reasoning. "Because according to my observations, the guards around here are the most numerous, and Colress also spends the most time in this particular area. The bastard probably sleeps there."

"If there are so many guards, how the hell are we supposed to sneak in?" Natsu grumbled, a frown creasing his brow. This wasn't exactly a stealth mission for a Snorlax.

"Leave this to us, you magnificent brute," Anabel's voice crackled in his earpiece.

Not long after...

Bang!!

The entire laboratory shook slightly, and a huge goddamn explosion ripped through the air outside the laboratory. What the actual fuck was that? Did someone drop a Regigigas from orbit?

The next second, alarms blared through the laboratory, loud enough to make a Exploud sound like a Whismur.

Natsu: "." Oh, for Arceus's sake, this is going to be a long day.

Immediately after, the sound of dense footsteps passed quickly outside the door of their room. Natsu and Lance exchanged a look. They suddenly realized they actually liked Interpol's chaotic style. It was like watching a bunch of Electrode go off in a confined space – terrifying, but effective.

They didn't leave the room until the footsteps slowly faded away, then moved toward the deeper floors of the laboratory.

At the same time, Looker held a special tool in his hand. He pressed a button and explained, "This little gadget can confuse their goddamn surveillance cameras. Pretty neat, huh? Like a Kecleon but for electronics!" Interpol's technological equipment wasn't lagging at all, apparently.

But.

Upon arriving here, everything started to go completely off the rails.

As they ran through the laboratory, they happened to stumble upon a white-coated researcher sprawling on the floor. Natsu's eyes happened to meet his, a silent "Oh, fuck" passing between them.

"You..." the researcher stammered, eyes wide with terror, like a Magikarp out of water.

Bang!

From the shadows, Aegislash appeared, shield at the ready. he slammed it down, instantly knocking the man out cold. Finally, someone went down in this goddamn lab!

But that meant they were in deeper shit now, more dangerous, and way easier to recognize. Once someone found out that a researcher was unresponsive, it would be easy to guess that the laboratory had been infiltrated. This wasn't exactly rocket science, even for a Slowpoke.

"Faster, you idiots!" Lance couldn't help but bellow, urging them on.

As they ran past another laboratory gate, Natsu suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and moved toward the lab door.

"Mr. Natsu, now is NOT the time for a goddamn science experiment!" Looker protested, looking utterly baffled.

Lance didn't hesitate, immediately following Natsu inside. "Trust him, you moron!" he shouted back at Looker. The dude would probably jump into a volcano if Natsu told him there was a rare Fire Stone at the bottom.

This laboratory was packed with a bunch of strange green plants; it seemed this place was specifically used to study weird botany. Maybe they were growing giant Exeggutor or something equally fucked up.

Natsu pressed his headset. "Professor Juniper, are you seeing this shit?!"

They carried mini-cameras on their bodies, but the signal was about as clear as a Grimer's bathwater after they entered the lab. Still, they could gather some visual info, more or less.

"This..."

Professor Aurea Juniper's voice crackled in his ear, filled with a sudden, uncharacteristic excitement.

"Ancient plants! Holy mother of Arceus, ancient plants!"

Indeed.

"Although the outline is unclear, I'm guessing it's at least a plant from 100 million years ago, or even more! I can't believe it's in this damn laboratory!" There was pure, unadulterated shock and delight in her voice. Professor Juniper's whole life was "The Origin of Pokémon," studying ancient history, so she naturally dabbled in these kinds of things. She was probably having a massive academic orgasm right about now.

Natsu walked slowly to the research table. A piece of dark brown, wood-like object was sitting there, hooked up to some special currents, with its value displayed on a screen.

"Can this wood conduct electricity?" Looker asked, looking genuinely curious, like a Porygon trying to understand organic life.

Natsu ignored him. He didn't have time for a damn Q&A session.

"Let's go," he muttered.

Before leaving, Natsu casually scooped up a plant floating in some water and stuffed it into a bottle. Like a goddamn Smeargle stealing paint, smooth as hell. Although Lance and Looker were a little curious about what the hell he was doing, they didn't ask again due to the urgent time crunch.

Finally.

Because of Natsu and Lance's renewed determination – seriously, they were moving like a pair of Rapidash with their asses on fire – they reached the fourth underground layer, area Z4 in Looker's words.

Here, every damn wireless electronic signal was completely blocked. They were on their own, no comms, no backup, just them against whatever hell this lab held. However, in the final analysis, area Z4 was a massive area, and no one could determine which specific room the control room was in. Time to play hide-and-seek with a bunch of crazy scientists.

"Use your Pokémon!" Natsu barked, throwing out a Poké Ball.

Alakazam, materialized in a flash of light.

Alakazam immediately understood what Natsu meant and unleashed his Psychic powers, spreading them over a huge area. Natsu placed his palm on Alakazam's shoulder, sharing what Alakazam "saw" with his Psychic perception. It was like having a goddamn super X-ray vision, but for evil labs.

However.

The walls here seemed to have been tampered with, doing something special that made it tough for Alakazam's Psychic to penetrate. He could usually map out an entire damn city block, but now he could only see a few rooms. Still, it was better than trying every single damn door like a bunch of Bidoof.

But.

The commotion outside the laboratory didn't distract all the Team Plasma members, and Alakazam's Psychic perception must have been noticed by some clever bastards.

"Well, well, well, turns out some little Rattata scurried into our laboratory," a cold, mocking voice echoed from a hidden corner. "And that big commotion outside was just a damn diversion for you, wasn't it?"

So that's how it was. A female Team Plasma member, oozing executive authority like a Muk oozes toxic sludge, stepped out with several ordinary Team Plasma grunts. One of them tried to contact something on his comms, but got nothing but static.

"Executive Anjie!" the grunt said, shaking his head.

"No need, you idiot," Anjie sneered. "As long as we catch these pitiful fools, we'll know everything." This Anjie chick was an executive sent by Ghetsis to protect Professor Colress; although she wasn't the highest-ranking executive, she was certainly no pushover. Probably tough as a Bastiodon.

Beside her, a Liepard was ready to pounce, brimming with rich Dark-type energy. It was precisely because of this damn Liepard that Alakazam's Psychic perception was detected, making it impossible to lock onto their specific area. Smart cat, but still a goddamn pest.

"Executive!" Looker's expression tightened. This was getting hairy.

"Seeing an executive means we're heading in the right goddamn direction," Natsu said softly, his eyes glinting. "It's gotta be around here somewhere."

"I'll hold them off, you guys go!" Lance roared, stepping forward.

"Kazaam!"

At that moment, Alakazam's complexion changed slightly, and he shouted towards Natsu, a sound of urgency echoing in the cramped room.

Bang!!

The laboratory ground trembled violently. Unlike the shaking caused by the explosion outside the laboratory earlier, this felt like something immense was crashing against the floor beneath them. What the hell was down there?! A Zekrom having a tantrum?!

This time, even Anjie on the opposite side changed her smug expression. Her eyes widened in genuine horror.

"Damn it! That explosion must have woken up that Pokémon earlier!" she screamed, immediately barking orders to the grunts behind her. "Go! Get to the Professor's instruments, you incompetent fools! Now!"

The Team Plasma members behind her clearly knew the seriousness of the matter, and immediately scattered, scurrying off like scared Patrat to follow her orders. In a corner they didn't even notice, a black figure, Aegislash, lurked silently in the shadows, trailing right behind them. Smart ghost, always lurking.

At the same damn time, Natsu, who already knew what kind of eldritch horror was hidden in this laboratory, now showed a terrifying smile that would make Anjie's hair stand on end.

Now that the secret was out, it was a race against the clock. Would Team Plasma be desperate enough to erase the data immediately under these uncertain circumstances, or would Natsu and his crew reach the control room and copy it first? This was a real nail-biter, like watching a Geodude try to learn Fly.

This sudden chaos also created the perfect goddamn opportunity for Aegislash to track those fleeing bastards.

Natsu turned to Alakazam: "Alakazam, destroy this damn floor! Open it up!"

"You—!" Anjie shrieked, her eyes bulging in disbelief.

Alakazam didn't give a damn about her reaction. Even though he felt a massive, terrifying threat from below, if Natsu told him to do it, he'd blast a hole through the damn moon. Loyalty, you know? Like a Growlithe to its trainer, but with psychic powers.

He pointed his spoon, concentrated his Psychic energy, and blasted straight downwards with immense force.

"You bastards! You have no idea what's down here! Liepard!" Anjie cursed, her voice filled with pure rage, and immediately directed her Liepard to attack.

Red lights flashed, and the air crackled with Dark-type energy.

"Dragonite, Dragon Breath!"

"Charizard, Flamethrower!"

Lance's reaction wasn't slow at all. He immediately summoned his Dragonite and Charizard. Even though he didn't know what the hell Natsu was planning, he completely trusted Natsu's judgment. He'd probably follow Natsu into a black hole if he thought there was a rare Fossil in there.

As soon as the two massive Pokémon, Dragonite and Charizard, appeared, Liepard was stopped dead in her tracks, having no way to move forward in an instant. She was forced to face the combined onslaught of these two powerful Pokémon.

And Alakazam focused his energy on his attack. This floor was clearly specially built; not only was it incredibly strong, but it also seemed to have a certain immunity to energy. Like a goddamn Probopass immune to everything.

Natsu immediately called Togekiss and Beedrill, to join them. Time to bring out the big guns!

BANG!!

With an earth-shattering explosion, a massive crack ripped through the floor, like a Sudowoodo finally breaking character.

Visible through the opening...

Below the floor, it was a specially constructed ecological chamber, a tangled, complicated mess of the same ancient plants Natsu and the others had seen before. What in the goddamn Gloom was this place?!

And as the floor shattered open...

Four black, spaceship-like shadows immediately leaped out! Seeing them, Anjie's face became utterly ugly, turning a shade of green that would make a Grovyle jealous.

Genesect had appeared! The goddamn nightmare had finally been unleashed!

...

(Yeah the hell of this chapter)