Carrying the Child of the Man Who Killed Me

Chapter 16

The mere touch of his hand was enough to send shivers of revulsion through him. The thought of spending a night alone with him in the same room was so dreadful that it made him want to escape just imagining it.

He felt foolish for not realizing the obvious sooner, too preoccupied with the looming reality of having to face him.

“Congratulations on your marriage. With His Majesty sending us the esteemed prince, we can now truly consider Yeon Kingdom and Song Empire one family, can’t we?”

“Haha, that’s certainly one way to look at it.”

An official who had accompanied Yeoncheong to Yeon Kingdom for the wedding smiled pleasantly as he drank. This gathering was meant to celebrate the couple’s union, but Yeoncheong felt as though the blood in his veins was freezing.

Even before this, he hadn’t been able to sit at this table with an easy heart. The cold, rigid expression he had seen even through the veil had pierced him deeply, leaving him restless and consumed by the urge to apologize.

He never thought he would find himself sitting here again, feeling even worse than before. Beneath the sleeve of his robe, Yeoncheong clenched his hands so tightly that his nails dug into his palms, likely leaving marks. But such pain was insignificant compared to the ordeal he knew awaited him.

Being married as a prince came with such expectations. It was a union where love was never part of the equation, a relationship that demanded fulfilling obligations in exchange for maintaining a noble status.

A relationship devoid of love, conversations lacking affection—Yeoncheong understood in theory that this was how things were meant to be. But neither in the past nor now had he ever been able to embrace such cold rationality.

‘I managed to endure it before, but there’s no guarantee I can do it again this time. Even if I avoid it today, I can’t keep running away forever.’

Perhaps he could avoid today’s confrontation, but there was no assurance that it would end there. In a previous life, Jihyuk had refrained from touching him when he trembled like prey trapped in a snare. But that might have only been because Jihyuk knew there would always be another opportunity to consummate the marriage.

As the festivities continued, filled with laughter and chatter from those drinking and celebrating, Yeoncheong sat alone, pale and unable to smile. With his face concealed by a crimson veil, no one could see his expression, nor did anyone find his demeanor unusual.

And so, Yeoncheong remained like an ornament, left sitting idly in the most prominent position in the hall.

“Your Highness, the Crown Princess, it is time to escort you to the bridal chamber.”

Despite Yeoncheong’s unease, time passed quickly, and before he knew it, the moment had come for him to move to the bridal chamber. The court servant who had supported him throughout the ceremony once again led the way.

“The ornaments in your hair and your wedding attire will be removed by His Highness when he arrives. Though it may be exhausting, you must remain seated and wait for him in this state until then.”

With those instructions, the servant completed their task by escorting Yeoncheong to the chamber, bowed deeply in farewell, and exited the room.

‘Can I endure this? I know I have to, now that I’ve come this far. If I stay still and composed, it might be easier to find a moment to gain the upper hand, but…’

However, the scars deeply engraved in his memory were not so easily forgotten. Lowering his head, Yeoncheong looked at his hands, now marred with fresh wounds.

‘If I can get through today, it might be easier after this. Fear should only be allowed for today.’

Struggling to calm his increasingly uneven breaths, Yeoncheong finally managed to steady himself and waited for Jihyuk to arrive.

As the sounds outside grew slightly louder, footsteps approached the bridal chamber. There was only one person who could step into the room prepared for the newlyweds.

“It’s been a while, Your Highness. Or should I call you my wife now?”

The voice was both familiar and unfamiliar. It had been so long since he’d last heard such a gentle tone that it felt strange, though it was undoubtedly a voice etched in his memory.

The crimson veil that had clouded Yeoncheong’s vision all day was lifted, and the world, once shrouded in red, returned to its natural colors.

“You must be exhausted after everything today. Are you feeling alright?”

“……”

The warmth in Jihyuk’s concerned gaze was so comforting that, had it been Yeoncheong’s first experience of such kindness, he might have been reassured immediately.

“Well, let’s set this conversation aside for now. First, let me help you take these off.”

Jihyuk gently began removing the ornate decorations that had been intricately arranged in Yeoncheong’s hair. As each heavy ornament was taken away, the strain on his neck gradually eased. Yet, even as the burden was lifted, Yeoncheong still couldn’t raise his head.

He silently thanked the heavens for granting him another chance, though it wasn’t the first time he’d found himself thinking such thoughts.

If only he could turn back time to before that banquet. If he could, he wouldn’t have had to cross paths with him at all.

Or, at the very least, he wondered what it would have been like if he could return to the moment they first met at the banquet.

“……”

For a brief moment, Yeoncheong felt relieved that this wasn’t their first meeting. The situation left him no choice but to be tense, but at least he had a reason for his behavior.

The stiff expression he couldn’t control, the trembling hands, and the overly hostile demeanor—unbecoming of someone meeting a stranger for the first time—could all be explained as confusion brought on by the sudden marriage.

“Your hand…”

“Ah!”

Jihyuk, noticing Yeoncheong biting his lip, gently touched his hand. He had only intended to inspect the wounds he saw, but Yeoncheong reacted so abruptly, pulling his hand away with such alarm that it almost seemed rude.

“I-I apologize.”

Yeoncheong finally regained his composure and bowed his head. No matter how nervous a bride might be on their wedding night, there were limits to the mistakes that could be excused.

Forcefully pulling his hand away as he had done was close to crossing that line. With his heart still racing, Yeoncheong managed to steady his breathing and spoke.

“I was nervous… I apologize.”

“It’s nothing. How could something as minor as Your Highness pulling away slightly require an apology? What’s more concerning is that your hands seem quite injured. Shouldn’t they be treated?”

Jihyuk dismissed the matter with a light wave of his hand and a gentle smile. After removing the final ornament from Yeoncheong’s hair, he reached for the elaborate wedding robes.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Though his movements were careful, to Yeoncheong, they felt agonizingly slow and unbearably heavy.

“Ugh.”

“Are you alright?”

Yeoncheong, overwhelmed by a sudden wave of nausea, quickly covered his mouth to suppress the urge to gag. Fortunately, the only thing he had consumed all day was the ceremonial wine during the wedding, sparing him further discomfort.

“I-I’m fine. I think it’s just nerves…”

Though he wished to avoid repeating anything from his past life, he silently prayed that tonight would unfold just as it had before. Turning his head away, he steadied himself.

“After carrying the weight of such heavy clothing and ornaments all day, it’s no surprise you feel unwell. Let’s get you out of the wedding robes first.”

With visible concern, Jihyuk began helping Yeoncheong remove the heavy ceremonial attire. The ornate red silk robe slipped from his shoulders, and the tightly fastened sash fell to the floor.

Yet, Yeoncheong’s discomfort remained unchanged. Of course, his tension had nothing to do with the weight of his clothing.

“There’s no need to be so anxious,” Jihyuk said softly. “I may be many things, but I am not so crude as to insist on the wedding night when you look so pale.”

At that moment, the words Yeoncheong had been silently hoping for finally came from Jihyuk. Yeoncheong, who had been bowing his head like a guilty man, hesitantly raised it and asked,

“… Are you truly okay with this?”

“What wouldn’t I be okay with? If anything, I should be asking if you’re alright. Perhaps I should quietly call for a court physician…”

“N-No, there’s no need for that. I’m just overly tense. I’ll feel better if I rest for a bit.”

Though Yeoncheong thought his pale, exhausted face must look unpleasant, he felt a strange relief knowing he appeared this way.

Relieved. He let out a quiet sigh, finally able to take a steady breath. While the consummation had been avoided, the reality of spending the night with Jihyuk remained the same.

‘It’s fine. I promised myself I wouldn’t let this make me weak. I just need to adjust, step by step. Since it’s the first night, tonight will be the only exception I permit myself.’

Yeoncheong, having just managed to navigate through the situation, lifted his head and tried to reassure himself once more.

“I’m simply grateful for your consideration. I feel ashamed for not even being able to take proper care of my health.”

“Please don’t say that. If anyone is to blame, it’s me for not realizing how much you were struggling.”

Jihyuk smiled gently, a smile that Yeoncheong had once yearned for with all his heart. For a brief moment, Yeoncheong let out a soft, bitter laugh and said.

“… You’re truly kind. And yet, this is only the second time we’ve met.”

So it was that easy for him to smile like that, Yeoncheong thought. The tension that had drained the color from his face now felt meaningless, as though all his worry had been for nothing.