Chat Group in Douluo: Messing with the Multiverse

-----

-----

Evening.

Lu Xian and his little cat passed through a small town, planning to stop for the night at a hotel to rest up.

"The carriage is gone, all that's left is the horse. Guess my deposit is gone too..."

Lu Xian shook his head, sighing. He had just received a 100 gold soul coin subsidy for Soul Masters, and it was already about to run dry. He realized he was spending money a bit too fast. If he didn't get some financial help from his chat group friends, he might have to rely on his little cat to support him.

[Xiao Yan: Lu Xian, I have a friend who's really interested in the goods you offer. Do you still have stock?]

[Lu Xian: Maybe... not sure.]

Lu Xian glanced at his remaining 15,000 abstract value points. He wasn't certain if he could still draw anything useful.

[Xiao Yan has sent Lu Xian an exclusive red envelope.]

[Xiao Yan: This is the storage ring we agreed on. My friend got it for you. It has a decent internal space, should be enough for daily use. Also, my friend asked me to send his regards and said he's looking forward to working with you again.]

[Lu Xian received the exclusive red envelope.]

Lu Xian pulled out a silver storage ring from the envelope and slipped it onto his index finger. It fit perfectly. The internal space was around thirty cubic meters—pretty decent. He was satisfied.

Trading a box of useless condoms for a storage artifact? That was definitely a good deal in his eyes.

[Lu Xian: Xiao Yan, don't worry. If I get good stuff, you'll be the first to know. I can't handle these things myself, so I'm counting on you.]

[Ye Fan: You guys are turning this chat group into a smuggling business!]

[Ye Fan: And you're even talking about long-term cooperation? You guys are really something!]

[Lu Xian: We Chinese have always been resourceful and business-savvy. This kind of trade comes naturally to us.]

[Lu Xian: Ye Fan, by the way, how's it going on your side?]

Somewhere in a stone chamber within the barren mountains of Yan.

Ye Fan stared at Elder Han, who was laughing hoarsely while showing off his collection of spirit herbs. His face was dark, his teeth clenched—but deep down, he was absolutely thrilled.

[Ye Fan: I'm exhausted.]

[Ye Fan: I ran into a little issue. On my way to visit the old man's friend, we ran into Jiang family knights. The old man nearly got wiped out, but thankfully, he only lost an arm. He managed to use his friend as a scapegoat and escaped. Otherwise, my cultivation resources would have been gone.]

[Ye Fan: It was one twist after another.]

[Ye Fan: Now, the old guy is happily showing off the spirit herbs he collected. I kind of want to laugh, but I have to act all angry and frustrated. Honestly, it's painful holding it in.]

[Lu Xian: Tsk tsk, Elder Han went through so much just to extend his lifespan, and then he had the misfortune of running into you. If he knew what you were really thinking, he'd probably drop dead from anger.]

[Ye Fan: That nickname you gave me—I've thought about it, and I kind of get it now. In a world like this, you really do have to be ruthless to survive.]

[Lu Xian: Hold up, I didn't give you that nickname. Don't frame me. I'll sue you for defamation!]

[Xiao Yan: Looks like Brother Ye Fan has achieved enlightenment!]

[Ye Fan: If you praise me like that, I might get cocky.]

[Lu Xueqi: Those who refine living humans into medicine deserve to die. There's no such thing as being too ruthless with them!]

Little Xueqi, still as righteous as ever.

[Lu Xian: Ye Fan, I went over the storyline of your novel today and considered your current situation. I have a few thoughts.]

[Ye Fan: Please share, Brother Lu!]

[Lu Xian: Your biggest priority right now should be returning home, right? Technique comes second?]

[Ye Fan: Yeah.]

[Lu Xian: In that case, let's analyze your options.]

[Lu Xian: If you want to go home, you have two paths. First, you find someone to send you back. Second, you promote to a high enough level and return on your own.]

[Lu Xian: The second path will take time, even with my help planning out opportunities. It could take over a decade. So, let's focus on the first path.]

[Lu Xian: If you need help from someone, I've got two candidates in mind. Both could easily send you home.]

Ye Fan perked up.

Just finding one candidate would be great, but two?

[Ye Fan: Who are they, Brother Lu?]

[Lu Xian: The first one... well, my plan might be a bit extreme. Not sure if you can handle it.]

[Ye Fan: Even if I say I can't handle it, you're still going to tell me, right?]

[Lu Xian: That's right.]

[Ye Fan: Please don't ask next time...]

Ye Fan sighed. He already knew Brother Lu had a bit of a dark side.

[Lu Xian: Alright, I'll be straight with you.]

[Lu Xian: Remember the Unrivaled Emperor who brought you to Beidou?]

[Ye Fan: Of course!]

[Lu Xian: All you have to do is carry a big cauldron, head to the depths of the Desolate Ancient Forbidden Land, then jump into the cauldron yourself...]

[Lu Xian: After that, cut your limbs a little... and start yelling loudly:]

[Lu Xian: "I'm dying! Who will take care of my little sister?!"]

[Lu Xian: "I just can't let go of my sister!"]

[Lu Xian: Keep repeating those two lines, and that Unrivaled Emperor will definitely break down.]

[Lu Xian: Then, you'll see the Unrivaled Emperor breaking free from the abyss, no longer just protecting you from the shadows. She'll step into the light, stunningly powerful, waging war for your sake, shaking all of Beidou to its core—all just to send you home!]

[Ye Fan: ...]

[Ye Fan: Brother Lu, are you seriously suggesting I deceive an Unrivaled Emperor... by pretending to be her dead brother?!]

[Ye Fan: This doesn't sound like a trip home—it sounds like a one-way ticket to the afterlife.]

[Xiao Yan: Damn, that's next-level!]

[Xiao Yan: This plan is both grounded... and straight out of the underworld!]

[Lu Xueqi: This is just rubbing salt in an emperor's wounds! Are you sure this is a good idea?]

[Flame Spirit Princess: I agree—this is a terrible idea!]

[Lu Xian: Hey, I said it was a bold move! But if it works, you'd have an emperor personally guarding you, feeding you resources like a baby bird.]

[Ye Fan: And if it fails?]

[Lu Xian: Well... that's the risk. Gamble big, win big.]

[Ye Fan: I think I'll pass. What's the second option?]

...