NOVEL ONLINE FREE Chapter 2: The mortal fight
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"Damn it..."
"We got played!"
"She's badly injured—there's no way she got far! She must be nearby. Split up and search carefully!"
Voices carried through the wind from the distant forest, followed by the crunching sound of footsteps stepping on dry leaves.
They were getting closer.
Lu Xian, who was in the middle of squatting down and doing his business: …
Crap!
Why are they coming back?!
If they see me like this, I'm going to die of embarrassment!
"Where's some paper?!"
Please…
Don't come over here!
Lu Xian's face turned green. This was no different from taking a dump in the middle of a busy street!
"They won't see me… They won't see me…"
"As long as I don't move, they won't see me…"
"Buddha, Guanyin, please protect me…"
Lu Xian suddenly found himself turning religious.
There are still people I care about in this world—I really don't want to die of embarrassment!
"What's that smell?"
"I smell it too… It stinks like pig dung!"
"We're near the border between two empires, close to the outer edges of the Star Dou Forest. It's possible a spirit beast passed through here."
"Everyone, stay alert!"
"You three, go check over there!"
The voices were getting closer and closer.
Lu Xian: …
Your mom's a pig! Your whole family's pigs!
Praying clearly doesn't work…
Panic.
His little hands trembled as they clenched his clothes.
Wait—
Clothes… I can use them as toilet paper!
Lu Xian's eyes lit up. Without hesitation, he frantically stripped off his jacket and started wiping as fast as he could.
Rustle, rustle…
Suddenly, the bushes about ten meters ahead were pushed aside.
One figure… two… three…
Three people, all dressed in tight black combat outfits, froze in place.
The three of them: …
Lu Xian, mid-wipe: …
Lu Xian: I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL!!!
Four pairs of eyes locked onto each other. The atmosphere turned deadly silent.
"Found something!"
One of the black-clad figures had nerves of steel. After quickly regaining his composure, he suddenly shouted.
Lu Xian nearly jumped out of his skin.
Calling your people over just to watch me wipe my ass—are you out of your damn minds?!
Panicked, he threw his ruined jacket away and yanked up his pants as fast as lightning.
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh—
In an instant, four or five more figures dropped down around him.
The figure in the center stood out. She wore a black mask covering the lower half of her face and a tight leather suit that accentuated her tall, curvy figure. She seemed to be their leader.
The masked woman scanned the area with sharp eyes. When she noticed the pile of 'evidence' at the base of the tree, she frowned slightly.
"Who are you, and what are you doing here?!" she asked coldly.
"My name is Tang San. I'm from Saint Soul Village. If I told you I was just here to take a dump and you guys found me by following the smell, would you believe me?" Lu Xian replied with a pained expression.
Following the smell…?
The black-clad people all turned black in the face.
You've got to be kidding me!
"Kid, I suggest you be honest with us. Don't try any tricks, or your death won't be pleasant!" The tall, muscular man beside the masked woman glared at Lu Xian and threatened him in a harsh voice.
"Damn, you guys are insane! I already told you, I was just taking a dump!"
Lu Xian was getting pissed. Can't even tell the truth nowadays without people doubting you?!
Is this alternate world trying to screw me over? I just wanted to relieve myself, and now you're all about to kill me? And you even got a free look at my fine ass!
It's not like I wanted to be here!
"You expect us to believe that you came all the way out here in the middle of the night just to take a dump?!" the tall man sneered, signaling his men. "Grab him. Interrogate him properly!"
Seeing several people actually moving in, spirit rings glowing and weapons flashing, Lu Xian started to panic.
He was just an ordinary high school student back in the 21st century. He had never even been in a fight before, and now he was suddenly supposed to fight to the death?
Even if he was probably strong now…
"Wait, wait, guys!"
Lu Xian raised a hand to stop them and pointed to the path behind him. "You're here to capture someone, right? I just saw an injured woman hiding behind a big tree over there!"
"Go grab your person—this has nothing to do with me! I seriously just needed to take a dump!"
"…"
The black-clad figures hesitated and exchanged glances.
"Two of you, come with me to check it out. As for this kid—just kill him."
The masked woman finally spoke. Her eyes, once probing, suddenly turned icy cold as if she were looking at a dead man.
She and two others leaped away in the direction Lu Xian had pointed, disappearing into the darkness.
The remaining black-clad figures tensed, and without hesitation, they attacked!
A glowing green dagger sliced toward Lu Xian's throat like a viper.
A long sword, its edge sharp and deadly, stabbed straight at his stomach.
Two energy-infused arrows tore through the air, aimed directly at his eyes.
No mercy. Every strike was meant to kill.
Lu Xian snapped.
Alright, alright, so this is how you wanna play it?
You really won't listen, huh?
You really think I'm scared of you?
Do you have any idea how overpowered I am?!
From this moment on, this place shall be known as Lu Benwei Plaza!
Two platinum-colored spirit rings rose from beneath his feet.
In this empty, desolate forest, an absurd song suddenly echoed, overflowing with an almost unbearable level of smugness.
"Being invincible is so~ so lonely~"
"Being invincible is so~ so empty~"
"Standing alone at the top of the world~"
"Cold winds keep blowing by~"
CLANG—
The four deadly attacks struck a transparent, white barrier half a meter from Lu Xian and stopped dead, unable to break through.
First Spirit Skill: Invincible Me!
In my BGM, I am invincible!
That man—the legend—had just begun his first battle, under the cover of his ridiculously arrogant theme song!
[You have created an absurd situation. Rating: Moderately Absurd. Abstract Value +100.]
Lu Xian smirked and lifted his sword. It was time for payback!
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