Chapter 4: The Ghost and the Enthusiastic Group
-----
-----
Lu Xian quickly browsed through the group's shared files.
"On the Myriad Worlds," "A Detailed Explanation of the Multiversal Assistance Group," "On the Earth's Shape," "On the Stars of the Cosmos," and so on…
They were all documents explaining the group's worldview. These might be useful for people from worlds like Lu Xueqi's or Yan Lingji's, helping them understand the existence of the chat group.
But for Lu Xian? Completely useless.
Chat Group
[Lu Xian: Hold off on the welcomes, guys. Quick question—there's a loli with a baby face and a huge chest lying in front of me, completely at my mercy. What should I do next?]
[Xiao Yan: Brother Lu Xian, you're adapting to the group pretty fast!]
[Xiao Yan: I've got a great suggestion!]
[Xiao Yan: First, take off her clothes. Then, take off her pants. After that, remove her underwear.]
[Xiao Yan: Finally, take the elastic band from her underwear and use it as a slingshot to smash her window!]
Battle Through the Heavens World
In the Xiao Clan of Wu Tan City, Xiao Yan burst into laughter.
"Finally, a new member in the chat group!"
That Lu Xueqi girl was as cold as ice, barely speaking a word all day—boring as hell.
Tang Daxian, the all-knowing fortune teller, was way too mysterious. Xiao Yan couldn't even find someone to chat with.
But now?
This Lu Xian guy? He seemed like a fun dude. He jumped right in with some spicy humor. Once he got the hang of the chat group's functions, things would definitely get more interesting.
[Ye Fan: Is this really a proper chat group? I just joined and people are already talking about questionable stuff? Can I still leave?]
Perfect World
In an ancient city of the Eastern Wastelands, Ye Fan sat in an inn, eating a late-night snack. After reading through the group's introduction files, he more or less understood what the chat group was.
He had no idea where this thing came from, but he adapted quickly.
Especially with the familiar chat interface—it felt just like home.
[Xiao Yan: The doors have been welded shut. No one is getting off this ride today!]
[Ye Fan: Bro, you're good with memes. Don't tell me…]
[Xiao Yan: Don't tell me…]
[Ye Fan: Palace Imperial Liquor!]
[Xiao Yan: 181 per glass!]
[Ye Fan: Big hammer, eighty!]
[Xiao Yan: Small hammer, forty!]
[Xiao Yan: My turn to quiz you now!]
[Ye Fan: Bring it on!]
[Xiao Yan: Listen up!]
[Xiao Yan: What do you do when your girlfriend is on her period?]
[Ye Fan: Give her warm water!]
[Xiao Yan: What if your girlfriend is sick?]
[Ye Fan: Give her warm water!!]
[Xiao Yan: What if your girlfriend is mad at you?]
[Ye Fan: Give her warm water!!!]
[Xiao Yan: Tears up Bro!]
[Ye Fan: Tears up Bro!]
[Lu Xueqi: I feel like you two are talking nonsense.]
[Tang Daxian, the All-Knowing: Heh, looks like the new guy is fitting in fast. Full of energy.]
[Tang Daxian, the All-Knowing: Yan Lingji, our seductive witch of Baiyue, aren't you going to say hi?]
Earth
In a small rental apartment in Shanghai, a thin, plain-looking young man stared at his chat screen, grinning wildly.
"This is amazing! A future Ye Fan, the Heavenly Emperor himself, has joined! If I can fool him, I might get my hands on (Wasteland Emperor Dao Seed). Then I won't have to worry about cultivation techniques ever again! Why the hell would I struggle with Dou Qi? Building a foundation is a nightmare—only a fool would do that."
"And there's even Yan Lingji, one of the most iconic beauties of Qin's Moon… This chat group really knows me! It's handing me both power and women!"
"But… who the hell is this Lu Xian from Douluo Dalu?"
"Does Douluo Dalu even have this character?"
Tang San Ghost was puzzled. He thought hard but couldn't recall such a person.
"Probably just a background character. Whatever, it's just another fantasy world. Not important!"
"I need to figure out their timelines. That way, I can manipulate them properly…"
Just then, his phone buzzed with a notification.
It was a message from his ex-girlfriend.
Ex-Girlfriend: San Gui, I regret breaking up with you. Let's get back together, okay?
Tang San Ghost froze, then let out a cold chuckle.
"I have a freaking chat group hack now. And you think you're worthy of me?"
"...Eh, whatever. Might as well play along for now. I can't get with top-tier beauties like Yan Lingji and Lu Xueqi just yet—I need time to work my magic. But this chick? She's decent-looking. I'll just use her as a temporary bed-warmer. When I finally get my hands on the goddesses from different worlds, I'll dump her like trash."
His fingers tapped rapidly on the screen.
Tang San Ghost: Rong Rong, last year you agreed to be my girlfriend, and right after New Year's, you broke up with me...
Tang San Ghost: Was it something I did wrong?
Ex-Girlfriend: San Gui, I was impulsive back then. Let's get back together. I'll treat you better this time.
Tang San Ghost: Really? I'm so happy!
Ex-Girlfriend: Mhm! Oh, today's Mid-Autumn Festival. Aren't you coming over with gifts?
Ex-Girlfriend: Make sure to bring ten cartons of premium cigarettes for my dad, ten cases of Maotai, and 66,000 yuan each for me and my mom to buy clothes.
Ex-Girlfriend: That's all you need to bring. I know you work hard for your money, so I won't ask for much. Oh, and I bought two cases of milk for your parents—you can take them home later!
Tang San Ghost stared at his phone in silence, rubbing his eyes as if he had misread the message.
Nope. The words were still there.
A slap to the face. Cold and brutal.
"...Bitch."
Tang San Ghost, furious, threw his phone against the wall, shattering it to pieces.
"You scammed me once and think you can do it again?! Do I look like an idiot to you?! The moment I master the Perfect World cultivation techniques, I'll erase your whole damn family!"
His hands trembled in rage.
After a long moment, he finally calmed down and sighed.
"...Whatever, it's just a phone. Once I've mastered Perfect World techniques, even nukes won't be able to touch me. At that point, I can get whatever I want."
He turned back to the chat group.
[Yan Lingji: Who are you people?]
[Lu Xian: Yeah, I'd like to know too!]
Douluo World
Lu Xian glanced at the six names in the group.
One of them stood out as completely out of place.
Time to play dumb and act like a native…
[Xiao Yan: Didn't you read the group files?]
[Lu Xian: I did, but I still don't get it.]
The chapter continues with the group explaining the multiversal chat system and Lu Xian using the healing items sent by the group to save Zhu Zhuqing
….