Congratulations on Your Magical Girl Duties

22 – Interlude – Magical Counseling

What does a new recruit do when they first arrive at the army?

Perhaps there are many kinds of answers, but sooner or later, there is surely one thing that everyone goes through at least once.

That is, an interview with the Sergeant Major.

A process where you can simply make acquaintance with the Sergeant Major, and a stage where you can release a little of your stiff tension.

“Of course, they sugarcoat it like that, but the truth is, it’s ten times better to just not do it at all.”

A meeting with the Sergeant Major is just another step in the process of choosing a suitable scapegoat to foist some burdensome task or responsibility upon. At least, that’s how it is in my case.

So much so, that when my life was first threatened in this other world, my initial thought was that the Sergeant Major had sent an assassin after me.

Well, I dropped that idea after the first time.

No, wait, it was after the fourth or fifth time, I think.

Anyway.

It wasn’t all that different with Magical Girls either. After all, here I was, on my way to a meeting with the Magical Sergeant Major.

Except.

“Uh… it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“…We parted ways less than a day ago, I believe.”

“R-right… S-sorry.”

The rank of the person conducting the meeting was rather…high.

It was definitely supposed to be a meeting arranged by the Magical Sergeant Major, but when I opened the door and stepped inside, there she was, a three-star Magical Girl.

That’s right. The White Magical Girl.

Honestly, even I was surprised. Who could have predicted someone of such high rank would attend *my* meeting?

“Uh, well… hello…?”

“Oh… hello.”

Still, considering that the White Magical Girl was my direct superior, it wasn’t completely beyond comprehension.

But.

“How is your Magical Girl life going, Si-yul?”

“It’s garbage.”

“So, it’s going well then. That’s a relief.”

Having not just one, but two, three-star Magical Girls here made it difficult to simply brush it off.

Wasn’t the Purple Magical Girl from a different affiliation?

What in the world was she doing here?

No matter how I looked at it, it was strange.

“By the way, Si-yul, did you happen to have a drink last night?”

How did she know? That witch.

“N-no? Why do you ask all of a sudden?”

“Hmm, is that so? I just have a feeling.”

Even his intuition is sharp.

He’s truly an unsettling opponent.

Truthfully, my condition wasn’t great. If I relaxed even a little, I felt like I’d immediately throw up.

This was the first time in my life I’d ever touched alcohol; how could someone like me know how to properly drink it? I just greedily accepted whatever they gave me.

It’s only because my body had recovered somewhat that I was somehow holding on. If I’d been in as wretched a state as I was back in my hero days, I wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed for at least a day.

Anyway.

Afraid that if I gave him even a little more leeway, he’d realize I was drunk, I quickly changed the subject.

“Aren’t you from a different unit? What brings you all the way here?”

“I just came because I was curious. What? Am I not allowed to have a meeting with Si-yul?”

“No, it’s not that you’re not allowed…”

With a look in my eyes asking if this was really happening, I gazed at the White Magical Girl.

“Hehe… We said hello…”

But the White Magical Girl was just grinning, seemingly enjoying herself.

Is she actually out of her mind?

Just as you’d expect from the leader of the Magical Girls.

Which is to say, she’s a lunatic.

Still, it was fortunate for me.

We didn’t exactly part on good terms the last time we met, so I was slightly uncomfortable, but it seemed the other side wasn’t all that concerned.

At that moment, the Purple Magical Girl waved her hand dismissively.

“Well, let’s overlook the trivialities. Actually, we came here because there’s something we wanted to ask you.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

The Purple Magical Girl smiled sweetly.

I wondered what in the world she had come all the way here to ask. Judging by the serious expression that had now settled on the White Magical Girl’s face, it must be something quite important.

At that moment, the White Magical Girl opened her mouth.

“Yesterday, or rather, early this morning, you encountered a monster that could speak like a human, right?”

“Ah, yes.”

“Could you tell us about it in detail? We haven’t received any detailed reports on our side.”

I nodded and began to explain, organizing the content into four points.

First, I suppressed the monster with the flowerpot.

“One might find her difficult to catch at first glance, but it seems you remained calm and defended well.”

“Things were flying around a lot, but I just… managed to dodge them.”

“Huh? No, you did all that alone?”

“Can’t you do it?”

Indeed, her physique isn’t really suited for that sort of thing.

If she’s an older woman, I suppose it can’t be helped.

“Weren’t you just thinking something strange? I’m suddenly feeling a bit angry.”

“…I’ll continue with the explanation.”

Secondly, the magical girls who’d been slacking off at the front line demanded we hand over the monster we’d subdued, raising quite a fuss.

“I saw them eating ramen and chips too, you know.”

“Shall I kill those broads, Seobin?”

“Since it’s Magical Advanced Barracks Management Period these days, better to deal with them outside.”

Thirdly, while we were in a standoff with the magical girls, the monster suddenly began to speak.

“The monster suddenly spoke? Just like that, without any particular symptoms?”

“…Yes. I truly can’t understand it.”

Of course, I left out the bit about the other world.

I just glossed over it with some vague explanation.

“Is there anything else?”

“There is.”

Lastly, fourth, the monster used Whitedog’s magic wand to commit suicide.

“Our report stated the magical girl Gold Retriever finished it off, but in reality, it just killed itself. Well, if you look at the outcome, it’s not exactly wrong.”

“It’s the first time I’ve seen a monster commit suicide… Fighting with Siyul-ssi must have been a very strenuous task for the monster. Anyway, you must have had a rough time.”

“…Indeed.”

It certainly was rough.

Mostly for my mind.

“That’s roughly it.”

I tried to keep it simple, but it seemed there was quite a lot to say, and the explanation ended up being longer than I expected. I could feel my throat gradually drying out.

At that moment, the White Magical Girl opened her mouth.

“I’m sorry for asking again, but I just want to confirm one more time. That unusually-shaped monster… it was just a monster with a flower pot on its head, right?”

“Isn’t having a flower pot on your head unusual?”

“Well, I’d seen that weirdo plenty of times. But this is the first time I’ve heard of him talking. Besides, you said he didn’t say a word at the start.”

“That’s right. He just started shooting as soon as he saw me.”

“Then it’s the same weirdo I know… hmm…”

The white magical girl hummed, falling silent.

The purple magical girl voiced her questions in the meantime.

“Then, did the weirdo say anything special right before he died?”

“Uh…”

He kinda did.

Said he wouldn’t meet a son of a b*tch like me again.

Of course, I couldn’t say it out loud. I’d already left out all the details related to the other world from my explanation. Conveniently omitting anything unfavorable to me as well.

Thankfully, judging by their reaction, they only knew the weirdo had said *something*, not any details beyond that.

Probably, the higher-ups cut it off at that point.

Or maybe the information didn’t even get to the higher-ups properly.

Well, it’s all for the better as far as I’m concerned. I’d much rather have it buried like this than have the rumor that I’m the world’s biggest son of a b*tch spreading completely.

Meanwhile, the purple magical girl pressed me again for an answer to her earlier question.

“It feels like there’s something more. If there is, please tell us, Si-yul.”

“Just a moment…”

That’s why dealing with people with good intuition is so tricky.

If even a small part is off, they dig right in.

But I don’t really have anything to say. Aside from the weirdo cursing me out, there wasn’t anything all that special…

Ah, there *was* one thing.

“He said he was a person.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

The weirdo had definitely said it.

That he was the same kind of ‘person’ as me.

Which meant he recognized himself as a person.

“Um, well…”

“Ah, just call me Si-yul.”

“Alright, Si-yul.”

The White Magical Girl met my gaze. In her eyes, alongside the question, a quiet fury smoldered.

Embers. But ones that would never truly die out.

“He didn’t call himself a ‘Weirdo,’ did he?”

“No, he just said he was a person.”

“I see…”

The corners of the White Magical Girl’s eyes narrowed slightly. As if she were turning something over in her mind.

Just then, the Purple Magical Girl spoke up.

“Anyway, you went through a lot. I told them specifically not to bother you, but it ended up like this after all.”

“The Battalion Commander, that human, sent me.”

“Ah, is that so? Noted. I’ll remember that.”

The Purple Magical Girl smiled faintly.

But it wasn’t a refreshing smile, not in the slightest. It was a smile with a cloying, ominous feel.

I’d been marked by the Lieutenant General.

Congratulations, you son of a b*tch Battalion Commander.

“Anyway, that’s all I wanted to ask. Do you have anything you want to say to me, Si-yul?”

I eagerly seized the Purple Magical Girl’s words.

“Yes, there’s just one thing I wanted to ask for.”

“Go on.”

In my eyes, the Purple Magical Girl was a force to be reckoned with.

Not only did she wield power, but she also likely had a wide network of connections, built up in her own way.

In that case…

“I’d like to find someone.”

“Who is it?”

“My parents.”

Surely she’d be able to find my parents.

“Forgive me for saying this, but weren’t you an orphan, Si-yul?”

“I still don’t know. My parents disappeared from the records after the Weirdo incident, and their survival hasn’t been confirmed yet.”

“Really? Well, I know quite a few specialists, so I can mention it to them.”

As expected, the Purple Magical Girl did indeed have a network. If she was calling them specialists, they had to be highly skilled.

“Of course, I won’t be able to find them right away. It’ll take quite a bit of time. It’s definitely not an easy task.”

I nodded.

It would take a considerable amount of time for the results, but it was still much better than not even being able to make the smallest attempt.

Truly, it was a relief.

“Thank you. How much will it cost, by chance?”

“Ah, no, I’ll cover that. Instead…”

“Instead?”

The violet magical girl smiled at me faintly.

“As payment for finding it, I’d like to ask a favor.”

“What is it?”

What was she going to make me do?

I felt a little uneasy.

“Spend your entire vacation with a magical girl I’ll arrange for you later.”

That was a somewhat difficult request.

I hadn’t the slightest intention of getting involved with a magical girl, yet she wanted me to spend my precious vacation with one?

“Who is the magical girl? How many are there?”

“That’s a secret. It’s more fun that way, isn’t it?”

She wouldn’t even tell me who the other person was.

I cautiously glanced towards the white magical girl, wondering if she would at least tell me about the mysterious girl.

However, she didn’t respond to my gaze.

She merely avoided my eyes, remaining silent.

Which meant, the magical girl the violet magical girl was talking about was someone the rest of the people here knew, except for me.

But why wouldn’t she tell me?

Would something happen if she did?

I felt uneasy. My instincts were sending out a faint warning.

“What do you say? It’s not a bad deal, is it?”

To have to exhaust all my chances for a vacation, which was few and far between, with a magical girl I didn’t even know…

I didn’t even know how many of them there were.

It could mean there were multiple girls.

At this rate, I’d go completely insane. Someone like me, a normal person, can’t handle crazy people.

Of course, I didn’t say it out loud. Instead, I brought up something else.

“What exactly *does* one do on this… vacation?”

“Oh, you know. We could eat together, wander about here and there, maybe have drinks with dinner if the evening runs late?”

“And what if things progress beyond that?”

“Do they? I’m ever so curious to see just *how* far.”

*Huhu,* chuckled the violet magical girl.

I couldn’t quite place it, but her attitude was peculiar. Almost as if she were daring me to try something, while simultaneously *expecting* me to cross some unseen line.

It left an unpleasant aftertaste. I felt, without knowing why, like a pawn on a chessboard.

A faint resistance began to bubble up within me.

“Now that I think about it, that’s a little….”

“Ah, I’ll arrange your vacation separately.”

“How many girls do I get to *frolic* with, then?”

“…Just one. And I wouldn’t quite phrase it as *frolicking*.”

A flicker of disdain crossed the violet magical girl’s eyes.

But it was of no concern to me.

She was granting me a vacation. I could endure something like this.

Now that we were here, I decided to push my luck a little further.

“While we’re at it, couldn’t you also grant me a promotion?”

“That’s difficult. There needs to be justification.”

Unfortunately, she refused immediately.

“A pity.”

“It can’t be helped. Do you think becoming an ex-Magical is easy as breathing?”

“I suppose not.”

Her refusal seemed resolute, but it didn’t matter. Getting the vacation alone was a victory.

When you boiled it down, even if I were to spend my vacation with a magical girl, as long as I kept my wits about me, what could really happen?

And so, I reaffirmed my resolution.

I will absolutely *not* stick it in a magical girl.

“Well, if there’s nothing more to discuss, I’ll conclude the interview here. Is that alright, Siyul-ssi?”

“That’s fine with me.”

As I rose from my seat, turning to reach for the door handle, the white magical girl offered a faint, almost whispered farewell.

“Si, Siyul-ah. Fare… well.”

“Yes, farewell.”

Presently, I stepped out the door.

Beyond the closed door, the two magical girls seemed to be conversing, but it was too faint to hear.

“Heehee, he already called you by your name.”

“…Go to hell, you b*tch.”

Thus, my first interview concluded.

In a way that was unsettling, yet indistinct.

Still, in a form much better than my time in the army.