Congratulations on Your Magical Girl Duties

34 – The Finish, and After

Just as the Magical cigarette stuck between my lips burned down to its filter.

Magical girls materialized, hauling off the neutralized futanaris.

“Magical Military Police. You’ve worked hard. We’ll be taking over from here.”

Whether it was right to have ‘Magical’ before ‘Military Police’, I couldn’t say, but I decided to let it pass.

Frankly, I was too weary to argue anymore.

“Yes, please do.”

Seeing a magical girl arrive so quickly, without even contacting them, implied the Magical handcuffs had some sort of failsafe.

Probably transmitted their location automatically when cuffing a Magical felon. That’s why they warned me not to accidentally cuff myself, I guess.

Anyway, the process itself was unremarkable.

Confirming who the handcuffs belonged to, then asking me, the least battered, to explain the situation. That was it.

And naturally, I glossed over it.

“Magical Girl Gold Retriever handled everything. At the time, Magical Girl Blue Fox and I were incapacitated. I just managed to slap the cuffs on.”

Most of the Magical Military Police seemed satisfied with that.

Looking at the result, Whitey’s handcuffs were the only ones on a Magical criminal, and only Whitey’s magic had caused any wounds.

“Seriously, what kind of injuries are these?”

“No human being could do something like this, right?”

“He’s a real dog, alright.”

They all examined the futanaris’ wounds with dismay, but it passed.

Still, a few Magical Military Police raised some rather pointed questions.

“Judging by the circumstances, Magical Girl Gold Retriever seems to have been affected by the aphrodisiac as well. How was that possible?”

“Well, when a dog gets horny, they don’t discriminate, they just become a nuisance, right? Kinda like that, I guess.”

“Ah.”

Even so, no further questions were asked.

A tiny faction still cast suspicious glances my way, but they refrained from further interrogation.

“If Shi-yul says so, it must be true. Anyway, it’s late, everyone get them out of here, quick as you can.”

All thanks to the White Magical Girl.

One of the reinforcements was a White Magical Girl, and she cut right to the chase, bringing the situation to a swift end.

The power of three stars was indeed formidable.

Just a single word, and everything was flattened.

Then, the White Magical Girl turned her gaze to me.

Not with the barren, orange eyes she’d had when watching the Magical Felons being dragged away, but with a gentle, orange glow filled with worry and relief.

She must have been terribly concerned about me.

“Shi-yul, are you alright? Did you get hurt?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“That’s a relief.”

Honestly, I was grateful, but also a little uncomfortable.

I had hardly ever received such sincere kindness from another person; it felt almost awkward.

Even though our first impression had been absolutely terrible, she had been looking out for me in so many ways since I arrived at the base, and I didn’t know how to react.

I wondered if she was trying to treat me well out of guilt, but it felt a bit too burdensome.

Why was she really doing this?

I couldn’t understand the reason.

So, I decided to just smile appropriately and leave it at that.

“Anyway, thanks for your concern. I’ll be going now.”

“Okay! Get some rest!”

And so, that dirty, sordid day came to an end with the White Magical Girl’s beaming smile.

What followed was smooth sailing.

Whitey, who had monopolized the achievement—or rather, been monopolized by it—was granted special leave, and the personnel in the living quarters, including myself, were confirmed for promotion.

It wasn’t a process that had happened overnight, but for Magical Girls operating in a set up similar to the military, things moved remarkably fast.

Probably the White Magical Girl’s mascot had some involvement there. I figured it was something like that.

Anyway, my current rank was Magical Private First Class.

Two ranks left until Magical Sergeant.

In other words, discharge was one step closer.

Thankfully, Whitey didn’t seem to question how things were unfolding.

“I don’t know what it is, but it’s leave!”

He was just happy to have received special leave.

“Seriously, thank you! For cuffing me with your Magical Handcuffs!”

And he kept thanking me, to boot.

Seeing Whitey so happy like that, I felt a secret relief that I hadn’t just killed those Magical Super-Criminals in the end.

Of course, just killing them would have been easier.

That’s how I’d lived, after all.

To be honest, there was a moment there when I almost just…finished them all off.

But I chose non-lethality for a reason. My own reason.

First, Whitey needed to get a vacation, and I wasn’t about to cross that final line.

Sure, even if I’d killed those Magical Super-Criminals, Whitey still could have gotten a vacation. Whitey could have wiped them all out with magic, easy.

No matter the outcome, I just had to make it seem like Whitey played the decisive role.

Except.

I didn’t want Whitey to bear the karma for the killings I’d committed.

Didn’t want them to stain their hands with blood without even knowing it.

Even if Whitey wasn’t exactly…normal, they were still a magical girl, weren’t they?

Murder doesn’t suit a magical girl.

That kind of thing is for guys like me.

And.

I didn’t want to kill, even in this world.

Of course, killing is one of the easier options. I can say that with confidence, after ten years spent taking lives.

But, if I kept on killing here, in this world, just like I did in that other one…

I might lose myself.

Lose that last thread of humanity.

Be left as something completely broken and twisted.

That revulsion kept me from killing.

In the other world, I had no choice. It wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity. I had to do it just to survive.

Save one person, and ten more would come back to get you. Someone you trusted would bury a knife in your back, shattering your spine. Killing was unavoidable.

But this world is different.

I can survive without killing.

So.

I shouldn’t have to resort to murder.

Of course, if it ever becomes necessary, truly necessary, I’ll cross that line, but that time isn’t now.

That’s why I didn’t kill them.

Well, anyhow.

Speaking of which, I was slightly worried about Hwidung.

Frankly, from her perspective, she had every right to be suspicious, but seeing as she wasn’t suspicious in the slightest, she really did seem a little dim. Is it because she’s a dog, after all?

Still, I personally preferred it this way.

At least she wasn’t the type to harbor doubts.

“Sunbae, what really happened?”

The bothersome one was Sora.

Quite some time had passed since the incident, yet she was still incessantly asking me about it.

“I’ve told you again and again, your sister took care of it. Of course, you seem to have lost your memory of it after losing consciousness.”

“No, I mean, what happened to your hair?”

“Ah, that part?”

Correction.

This time it was about my hair.

I’d thought everyone had glossed over it since no one questioned it, but Sora alone was pointing it out.

“I didn’t think to ask because things were too hectic, but it just occurred to me now.”

“It’s not that weird, though, is it?”

Even if she said it was weird, I would absolutely keep it.

This was a symbol of my memories, after all.

“Well, I suppose not. It wasn’t bad before, but personally, I like this better.”

Thankfully, Sora seemed to take it well.

The way she suddenly came next to me and casually twirled the ends of my hair with her fingertips, she must have really liked it.

“It’s nice, kind of like a thin fox tail.”

Purring and smiling with her eyes, she was truly like a bewitching fox.

She’s a lesbian, so why is she being flirtatious?

Her head really does look a little painful.

Then, suddenly, something came to mind.

“Ah, that’s right. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask.”

“What are you curious about, Sunbae?”

“What? What is it?”

At my words, not only Sora, but even Hwidung, who was excitedly wriggling around by herself, showed interest.

“What sort of people are the other members of the dorm?”

I’m sure the Battalion Commander Magical Girl had mentioned it before. Two were away right now. One on assignment, the other on leave.

“Shouldn’t at least one of them be coming back soon?”

“That’s right.”

“Probably, one will be back today.”

Unlike other magical girls, who moved in groups of four or five, we always stuck together as a trio.

Even when a grotesque monster showed up.

Even when apprehending Magical Super-Criminals.

That’s why I was suddenly curious.

“Figured you guys might know, unlike me.”

What were the remaining magical girls like, really?

Of course, they’d all be psychos.

That was an undeniable fact.

But there had to be slight differences, right?

In Whitedog’s case, before you got to know him, he was your typical brain-dead, Grade-A racist, and Sora was a sinister schemer whose true intentions were impossible to decipher.

If you were a magical girl living with those two, you were bound to be far from normal.

A simple example: Gotham’s villains.

If you had dangerous individuals like the Joker or Two-Face around, the rest were at least Scarecrow-level. Just as dangerous, is what I mean.

So, if I knew who they were in advance, wouldn’t that allow me to prepare, at least a little?

It’s unavoidable if a good, normal Gotham citizen like me wants to survive.

“Well, first of all, one of them is a lesbian.”

“And she’s… intense.”

So, one of them’s a lesbian.

Seriously intense, if Whitedog says so.

Which means…

“Sora, she’d be perfect for you. You’re a lesbian, too.”

But as soon as Sora heard my words, she made a disgusted face and stuck her tongue out.

“Senior, just because I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I like all women. Besides, I’m a *completely* different kind of ‘lesbian’.”

“Is that so?”

Honestly, I wondered what the difference was.

Aren’t all magical girls just the same, anyway?

Is it the difference between a casual magical girl and a hardcore magical girl?

Well, I suppose I understand.

Just because someone’s gay doesn’t mean they like every man, so it’s the same, being a lesbian doesn’t automatically mean you’re into any woman.

In some ways, she’s probably closer to being normal.

“Still, you don’t need to worry *that* much. She’s not the one coming back today.”

Thankfully, the magical girl they mentioned just now isn’t returning today. Probably the magical girl who’s away on assignment.

Well, I’ll have to meet her someday, but it’s much better to see her later rather than sooner.

“So, who is the other one returning today?”

“Um…, it’s a little complicated and difficult to explain with just words.”

As if there could be anyone as complicated and difficult as you two.

Of course, I didn’t actually say that. I just thought it.

“Sunbae, you weren’t thinking something disgusting, were you?”

“Sounds like he was thinking about penises.”

“As if.”

Those sisters are quick on the uptake, a pair of them.

They really do have that unique intuition of a madman.

Anyway, calming my startled heart, I slowly voiced my question to Sora.

“What’s so complicated and difficult about this magical girl, anyway?”

“Well… even overlooking her manner of speaking, she’s a truly devout religious person… and it’s a little strange. It’s something you’ll understand better if you see it for yourself rather than me explaining it.”

Now I’m starting to get genuinely worried.

Even if Sora isn’t normal, she’s actually quite good at expressing what kind of person someone is.

But even Sora can’t put it into words.

Can someone as normal as me even handle it?

With a slightly worried heart, I looked at Huingdung. Hoping that maybe Huingdung would say something, anything.

“Huingdung, what kind of person is she, the one we were just talking about?”

Huingdung immediately turned her head away.

Like a dog hearing the word “bath.”

“There’s not a single thing about her that I can relate to, as a magical girl.”

As if there’s any magical girl in this world that you can relate to.

Of course, I didn’t say any of this either. The white girl wasn’t being racist anymore, so there wasn’t a need to needlessly provoke her now.

“What was so wrong?”

“Everything. Just, everything was wrong. Sora put it nicely, but she’s just a crazy b*tch.”

“Is that so.”

It still didn’t make sense.

What kind of lunatic had to exist for even these two lunatics to be so repulsed?

At that moment, the dorm room door burst open.

“The unbearable void of this Magical Dorm is over at last, I say!”

A magical girl entered through the open doorway. As naturally as if it were her own home.

“From now on…”

Yes.

“This maiden shall stand above all magical girls, I say!!!”

One of the two missing magical girls had returned.