Crazy Britain:They’re All Raising Me

[Confirmed true name of the Beast's core identity:]

[— Guinevere Le Fay]

...Wait, who?

Guinevere wondered if he had simply been working too hard lately, so much so that he was starting to hallucinate. Maybe when reading the system's information just now, he'd had some kind of optical illusion and saw something weird.

He rubbed his eyes hard, then opened them and looked back at the system:

[Confirmed true name of the Beast's core identity:]

[— Guinevere Le Fay]

Still unsure. Check again.

[— Guinevere Le Fay]

Still unsure. Check again...

Only after repeatedly confirming it several times with a dumbfounded expression did Guinevere finally accept this piece of information.

That shadow—the true identity of the Beast's core—was Guinevere Le Fay.

Somehow, bizarrely, it just happened to be the same name as his own.

...Bullshit!

All the lingering doubts in his mind from earlier were now answered in one fell swoop.

Why was it that the Bloodborne Lord, without actually doing anything, could simply activate his demon form and instantly change the background of the entire nightmare realm—while gaining max buffs at the same time?

Well, if this world had another version of himself who was also an Old One, it made perfect sense. This nightmare world was being influenced by two Great Old Ones all along.

Guinevere had already suspected something like this before. Babbage's logs had clearly stated that there was another force in this nightmare world, actively preventing the descent of the King in Yellow, repeatedly forcing time to rewind. Such feats were clearly within the domain of divine authority.

Moreover, there was that strange stone tablet by Lake Hali that spoke of a "Lake Prophet" who would fight against the warlike King in Yellow—frequently mentioning a battle between "Wind and Water." And in Cthulhu Mythos, there is a system of elemental attributes. Hastur governs wind; Cthulhu governs water. The two are brothers and archrivals.

So after reading that prophecy, Guinevere had speculated that the "Lake Prophet" who was resisting Hastur's descent was likely aligned with Cthulhu.

Which also explained why those immortal cultists thrown into the lake all disappeared without a trace. As Hastur's believers, they were being cast into the domain of his mortal enemy. Of course they didn't survive.

But never in his wildest dreams would he have guessed that the "Cthulhu" of this nightmare world was actually himself—and based on the entry in the Book of Truth, this "Guinevere" was described as a "Madman who usurped a god's throne." Apparently, he had stolen the godhood from that pudgy green guy.

That would also explain why the Bloodborne Lord's Noble Phantasm affected the nightmare realm itself, why he had so many accumulated Fear Points, and why his buffs instantly maxed out—it was all because of the groundwork laid by this "Scarlet Butcher."

No wonder Artoria and Frankenstein (who still thought she was Ella at the time) both mistook him for this so-called "Butcher." It just proved how alike they really were, though Guinevere had never realized it.

And no wonder Nursery Rhyme had freaked out and fled the dream realm the instant she cast Dream Invasion on him. Had she really been seeing the Bloodborne Guinevere?

All the signs pointed to one thing—this wasn't a simple case of sharing a name. That shadow… probably was him. Another version of himself.

But then... how?

Where the hell did this other him come from? And how the hell did he manage to steal Cthulhu's godhood? Guinevere himself didn't have any memory of doing that. It's not like he had amnesia or something.

Could this be one of those classic Type-Moon scenarios? Maybe this "Guinevere" came from the future?

But then what about the surname "Le Fay"? Wasn't that Morgan's last name?

Don't tell me... in the future, he marries Bavanzi and takes Morgan as a godmother?

That was literally the only explanation he could think of.

I mean... it's not like he'd actually end up romancing Morgan and taking her last name, right?

No way. Absolutely not.

Sure, Guinevere did sort of simp for Morgan, but let's be real here—she's a several-thousand-year-old young-looking hag... I mean, beauty. A stunning ageless beauty. What kind of situation would it take to pull her?

Still, all that wasn't really his problem right now.

His problem now was how to survive this smug-as-hell shadow of a Great Old One currently standing before them.

A howling tide of blood surged from the shadow's feet, roaring across the hollow battlefield. Without hesitation, Guinevere turned and ran toward Artoria, Mordred, and Bavanzi. After hesitating for half a second, he slung Bavanzi over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and began scaling the high cliff walls of the cavern.

Just as he reached the ledge, Artoria flickered beside him, holding onto Mordred with one hand.

But for some reason, Guinevere could feel a hint of killing intent in the way she was looking at him.

Again? What now?

Being stared at with that icy glare gave him chills. What was she mad about this time?

Could the Book of Truth's info be shared among allies? Did Artoria just find out he took Morgan's last name in the future or something?!

Just as Guinevere was trying to guess wildly, the Bavanzi on his shoulder puffed up proudly and said:

"Hmph! As expected, those country bumpkin fae are so inferior. Even though Guiguigui is currently in Sword Saint mode, when danger strikes, the first one he thinks of saving is still me!"

The moment she said that, Guinevere noticed the killing intent in Artoria's eyes grow noticeably more intense.

Welp. So that's what this is about.

Guinevere understood now.

After all, a similar scenario had happened before. Last time, Bloodborne Will had just picked up Ritsuka and Mash and peaced out, not even giving Artoria a second glance. But that made sense—Artoria in the dream realm was terrifyingly strong. In terms of speed, she might even be above the Sword Saint himself. Possibly even on par with the maxed-out Bloodborne form. There was no need to worry about her.

So this time... well, Will had already explained it to her once, right? Surely he didn't need to go over it again?

As he was thinking this, Artoria—rather than exploding in rage like usual—suddenly smiled.

"Oh? Are you sure about that?" she said sweetly. "He didn't even bother to give you a princess carry. He just slung you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Why would that make you feel special?"

"Isn't it more likely," she continued, still smiling, "that Guinevere knew you were the most useless and burdensome one, and figured that if he didn't carry you, you'd probably die immediately? So he grabbed you out of sheer necessity, like one would pick up a stray item on the ground."

She kept her expression perfectly cheerful while her words struck like daggers.

"Unlike someone I could name, I can continue to provide strong support in this dream realm, no matter the shift in worlds. Becoming a woman who can always support Guinevere—that's not something just anyone can manage. But even if you can't help, the least you can do is not drag him down—or worse, betray him."

"Don't you think, Bavanzi?"

She hadn't used a single swear word, but her words were absolutely savage. Each one stabbed straight into Bavanzi's insecurities. Even Mordred was stunned.

What the hell... Since when was her father this good at verbal sniping?

And sure enough, Artoria's words hit home. Bavanzi's eyes were practically glowing red.

"You're dead meat! You've got some nerve, you damn country wench!"

"Aw, are you upset already?" Artoria tilted her head. "I guess the truth really is hard to swallow. If I offended you, well—"

She paused for effect, then smiled again.

"Come at me."

"You—!"

Guinevere swore he could hear Bavanzi grinding her teeth to dust.

"Okay, okay! Knock it off! Please! My goddesses, can we not be having a catfight right now?!"

Afraid Bavanzi would really launch herself into a suicidal brawl, Guinevere quickly pinned her down, black lines running down his face.

"If you two keep arguing, I swear we're all gonna get swept up and deleted by that—whatever that is!"

He hesitated but decided not to tell them that the monster chasing them was... quite possibly his own future self.

As if on cue, a blood-red tsunami surged from below, racing toward the rocky ledge where they stood. Guinevere instantly raised his sword, unleashing a beam of blinding light that cleaved the wave in two.

But what truly unsettled him was that the blood-shadow didn't even bother dodging. It just tanked the blast head-on and kept advancing—completely unharmed.

They couldn't hurt it. At all.

Guinevere's head throbbed.

Thankfully, the creature's attack patterns were sluggish. It didn't seem to have much intelligence or aggression. It only lashed out occasionally. If it had attacked more frequently, Guinevere figured his corpse would already be bloated and floating in the blood below.

"Old One's shadow? What's that?" Artoria asked, intrigued by the unfamiliar term.

"Oh, uh, I got that from the Book of Truth," Guinevere explained. "Basically, Old Ones are really, really powerful evil gods. The King in Yellow—Hastur—is one of them. And that shadow chasing us now? That's another Old One: Cthulhu—or at least a shadow or fragment of him."

"Got it," Artoria nodded. "So... does the Book of Truth say anything about its weaknesses?"

"Oh right!"

Guinevere smacked his forehead and quickly flipped through the Yellow King's original text.

He hadn't finished reading it earlier because the information had been so shocking he'd nearly started questioning reality itself.

Sing praises, O children, to the beast of mankind's original sin—the beginning of all desire.

It is the beast of catastrophe, born from a throne-seeking woman's greed, the Alpha of origin.

Born of human wish, grown from human obsession, it expands into the false god of worldly destruction.

Its very existence opposes all desire and marks the end of all hope.

None may touch it—unless they have tasted true despair.

"Huh?"

Guinevere frowned. That didn't sound like anything resembling a weakness.

Luckily, the system popped up just then with an updated translation:

[New intelligence confirmed from the Book of Truth. Synchronizing translation. Enemy profile updated:]

[Hostile Entity: Beast 0/α - Shadow of Guinevere Le Fay]

[Governing Principle: Wishbound]

[Once born from a simple wish bestowed by another, time twisted it into obsession—until even its bearer forgot its origin.]

[Passive Skill: Anti-Hope]

[As long as the target clings to hope without confronting their destined despair, all interference and damage are nullified.]

"...Huh?"

Guinevere blinked and slowly typed out a single thought:

"Ain't that a little much?!"