Crossover: After deciding to give up, i became popular

The sages once said: "Reflect on yourself three times a day... Have I been untrue in my friendships?"

Natsukawa Kanade never thought he would need to reflect on this question. He never considered himself insincere with his friends until today, when he was forced to face his true self—after making such a selfish request to Shiina.

It wasn't that his plea lacked sincerity, but rather that it arose from an unbecoming desire. Perhaps Shiina wouldn't find it an issue, but his suggestion was ultimately self-serving. He had essentially tried to deprive her of her freedom to dress as she pleased, even control her actions.

In truth, it was merely an unusual, eye-catching outfit. Drawing attention from passersby was natural and harmless, yet he found himself unwilling to let others see the adorable image of the angel.

At its core, it was fear. Fear of her connecting with others, of her finding a romantic partner, and consequently drifting away. Or worse—fear that she would make friends and divide her attention.

But as a friend, shouldn't he celebrate her happiness with a smile?

He couldn't.

The thought of Shiina being "taken away" by someone else, of losing her care and affection, sent waves of pain through his chest.

Being her lover would be ideal, but just being friends would suffice. He only wanted to maintain their closeness.

Natsukawa Kanade pondered deeply, but his thoughts always returned to one question—did he truly like the angelic girl?

She was his first love, his white moonlight. She was the person he was willing to change for, to do things he never would otherwise.

But was that really love? He didn't understand. The signs seemed to suggest it was "love."

He wanted to stay by her side, capture her attention, win her approval, and keep her with him. But why was he so quick to let go when rejected?

Wasn't first love supposed to leave a lifelong scar?

Shouldn't love endure unwaveringly?

So why did he "fall for" others like the senior, Eriri, or Yukino after knowing of their existence?

Were all his efforts in the name of "love" nothing more than lies? Was there, deep inside him, an innate shallowness he hadn't yet recognized?

Perhaps he simply wanted someone—anyone—to accept him. Initially, he sought it from familiar girls. Failing that, he began settling for others, even strangers.

But that wasn't love.

If someone claims to "fall in love with everyone," they must first truly fall for one.

Had he ever truly liked anyone?

He admired the angel's gentleness, the senior's fiery passion, Eriri's tsundere charm, Yukino's resilience, and Kaguya's seriousness. But what he loved seemed to be qualities rather than people.

These traits might exist in others, but he gravitated toward those he knew well, those with whom he was comfortable enough to connect.

...

...

...

No. That wasn't love. It was merely... fondness and appreciation.

He yearned to experience those iconic interactions the original protagonist had, to imagine himself in the same scenarios.

He had declared his love for so long, only to discover it was hollow. The so-called "love" was a mirage. From the start, he'd been nothing more than a crude imitator, trying to steal someone else's destiny, incapable of even confronting his true self.

Thus, he could accept rejection and remain close, content with friendship. His only fear was being abandoned entirely, left alone once more.

It wasn't love.

It was dependency.

...

"Shiina," Natsukawa Kanade suddenly said, turning to the girl sitting beside him.

"Hmm? What is it?"

"There's something I need to tell you. Please, listen carefully."

"...?" The angel didn't respond, but her serious expression silently encouraged him to continue.

"The first time I met you, I thought I had 'fallen for' you."

　　"..."

"I liked your seriousness, kindness, and diligence. I liked your resilience."

"..."

"I liked everything about you... but I didn't truly like Shiina Mahiru as a person."

As though speaking of something inconsequential, Natsukawa Kanade turned his gaze to the television screen, picking up the controller and resuming the game.

"I'm sorry... The Kanade who confessed to you wasn't someone who truly loved you."

"That Kanade relied on Shiina Mahiru, coveted her warmth, and wanted to use the label of 'lover' to tie her to his side, making her his eternal source of validation."

"He was nothing but a despicable thief attempting to steal the pure feelings of the angel. He wasn't someone worthy of your trust. Your decision to reject him was absolutely right."

The television displayed the words "Game Over." The game had ended.

"...I'm sorry." Kanade lowered his head.

It was impossible to count how many times he had apologized to the angelic girl.

Perhaps this would be the last.

What would Shiina think after hearing all of this?

Would she lash out at him, curse him furiously, and leave? Or would she remain silent, later exposing him as the untrustworthy person he was?

No matter what the result, Kanade was prepared to accept it. This was the punishment he deserved.

Inside, his heart was calm, even as memories of conversations with Katou surfaced.

Katou was an empathetic girl, but even she couldn't have imagined that he had already acted so selfishly.

Approaching others with impure intentions, crafting personas just to gain approval... wasn't that the height of selfishness?

It wasn't just Shiina or Katou; it applied to everyone. He must have disappointed them all. If they learned the truth behind his actions...

No, maybe he was overestimating himself. Perhaps they had already seen through him long ago. After all, he wasn't some master manipulator. His attempts at maintaining a façade must have been full of flaws.

"Shiina, I've been deceiving you all along. It's only right if you're angry..."

"I am angry!"

Before Kanade could react, Shiina had grabbed a throw pillow and was hitting him with it repeatedly.

"Idiot Kanade, you idiot... How could you only tell me now? You don't trust me at all, do you?"

"..." Kanade wanted to explain that it wasn't like that. He had only recently come to fully realize these things.

When he was rejected by everyone... when he was still trusted and validated despite being rejected...

But explaining this now would just sound like making excuses, so he silently accepted the angelic girl's "punishment."

"Idiot! Kanade, you're such an idiot..."

After tiring herself out, Shiina threw the pillow aside and used her head to deliver a soft "rocket headbutt" to him. Her fists continued to pummel him lightly.

But it was less like venting her anger and more like playful banter.

The punches were so weak they could easily be caught, her fragrant scent wafted up from below, and the touch at her chest was anything but cold...

"Shiina..."

"Kanade... Have you ever really liked me?" Her voice was muffled, making it hard to hear clearly.

"..." Kanade was silent for a long moment before shaking his head. "I don't know anymore..."

After digging deep into his heart, all his former convictions had crumbled. He could no longer state such things with certainty.

"Terrible... It's a good thing I rejected you back then."

"What?" Kanade asked, genuinely unable to catch her words.

"Idiot. I'm leaving now." The angel gave him a fierce glare before turning and walking away.

"..." Kanade watched her leave without attempting to stop her.

So, I've really been rejected this time, he thought.

But the next moment, his phone buzzed with a message from the angelic girl:

"Prepare yourself, idiot Kanade!"

"..."