DanMachi: Cheat? What's a Cheat?

Chapter 22 – The Senior Goblin Boss

The senior goblin didn't move.

He just stood there with this attitude like a coach watching his students practice.

The five little goblins around him moved in formation that was... surprising.

Not random and chaotic like usual, but with coordinated patterns.

"Oh, so you're the boss, huh." I muttered while observing the big goblin.

I felt like this senior goblin was like a CEO letting his employees work while he drinks coffee.

The first goblin attacked from the left with claws that had been sharpened.

I dodged easily, but the second goblin immediately followed up from the right with timing that was almost perfect. If it wasn't for my skill, I might've already become goblin satay.

"Nice teamwork," I commented while slashing the first goblin's neck.

"Too bad your bonuses won't be getting paid."

Slash.

Stab.

Dodge.

Movements that had become automatic.

But something was weird. These goblins weren't attacking mindlessly like usual.

They were... learning.

Observing my movements.

Adapting their strategy.

And that big goblin? Still watching with squinted eyes, like he was analyzing every move I made.

"Damn, I'm kinda scared." I sighed while avoiding a double attack.

The two remaining goblins moved carefully.

They'd already seen how their friends died, and apparently weren't interested in experiencing the same fate quickly. New strategy: one distracts, one attacks from the blind spot.

Clever.

But not clever enough.

They're still goblins anyway.

I used the momentum from my spin to slash both of them in one elegant horizontal movement.

Blood splattered, bodies turned to ash, magic stones scattered.

Done with the minions.

Now it's the boss's turn.

The senior goblin stepped forward with movements that were... different.

No rushing.

No blind aggression.

He moved like an experienced fighter who already knew what he was doing.

Isn't this not according to the script? Shouldn't the goblin be angry and revenge his friends?

But this goblin is so smart!

And when he raised that dagger, I immediately knew: this isn't some ordinary goblin I can finish with three standard moves.

His first attack came like lightning. A straight thrust to my chest with speed that made my eyes barely able to follow.

I felt my skill warning me but my body couldn't keep up.

Seems like this skill doesn't work when fighting opponents stronger than me.

I retreated hastily, feeling the dagger's tip pass through my shirt with distance too close for comfort.

"Shit," I whispered while checking the small tear in my clothes.

He attacked again. This time a combination of thrusts and slashes that flowed like a dance of death. I defended with my sword, but every clash made my arm vibrate.

Strong.

Too strong for an ordinary goblin.

And what's scarier: he's got technique. Trained movements. Perfect timing. Even the way he held his weapon showed terrifying experience.

"Where'd you learn to fight like this?" I asked while dodging a horizontal attack that almost beheaded me.

"Online courses?"

But he didn't answer. Of course not. He's a goblin, not a stand-up comedian.

I felt like an idiot, obviously goblins can't talk.

I was starting to feel cornered. Every attack I made was easily read.

Every movement I made was anticipated.

Like playing chess against a grandmaster while I don't even know how to move the knight.

Time to change strategies.

I backed up a few steps, taking a more serious fighting stance.

Left foot forward, sword raised at the perfect angle, eyes narrowed with intense focus.

The goblin went silent.

His eyes became alert, his posture tensed. He also took a more defensive stance.

We stared at each other in silence full of tension.

The air between us felt like it would explode any second. This was an epic climax moment, a battle between two warriors who respect each other's abilities.

I took a deep breath.

Gathering all my concentration.

Preparing an attack that would decide everything.

And then...

"YAAAAAAHHHHH!"

I screamed loud enough to wake up the entire dungeon.

In my mind, 30 battle scenarios appeared. All of them ended with me losing.

So I chose the most sane one... and the most undignified.

Then immediately turned around and ran as fast as possible.

The goblin went silent with an expression that... if he was human, he might've said "dude, I thought our fight was gonna get serious."

He didn't chase me.

Maybe too shocked by the brilliant strategy I'd just witnessed. Or maybe he had principles about not chasing enemies who flee in embarrassing ways.

I ran with admirable speed, leaving that senior goblin with existential questions about fighter honor.

"Sorry!" I shouted while running. "But I still have a beautiful goddess waiting for me at home!"

Ten meters. Twenty meters. Thirty meters.

Suddenly my stomach cramped with intensity that made me almost fall.

"Argh... damn..." I groaned while holding my left side that felt like it was being twisted.

Note to self: always warm up before fighting.

My pace slowed to walking like a duck with a stomachache.

Dignity? What's that? Can you eat it?

As I walked with a very embarrassing gait, I started hearing voices from ahead.

Human voices.

Other adventurers.

"Damn! Floor 1 is so empty!"

"I've been wandering around for five minutes, haven't found a single goblin!"

"What's wrong with this dungeon? Are the monsters on strike?"

"I need magic stones, I've got six women waiting for me."

"You're so awesome dude, can you teach me? I've been alone for half my life."

"Me too, I'm tired of using my hands."

I walked past them with steps that were still abnormal, holding my stomach that was still protesting loudly.