Data-Driven Daoist

“Shouldn’t there be four?” Li Yao whispered.

“Shut it, dude,” Yu Han said.

“I’m just saying there should be four.”

“And? Are you going to bargain with a Foundation Building Realm Spirit Beast?”

Li Yao shrugged. Fang Zhao watched the interaction with a troubled smile.

The two boxes trudged through the sludge as if they could move on their own. One stopped in front of Huang Niuniu.

「Big small worm says she’ll have one all to herself, and you three males get the other one,」 Fei Rui said. 「I don’t like this. Talking to him and then to you and him again feels boring.」 He retracted into a box.

“Oi,” Yu Han said, tapping the crab’s shell. No response.

He shuts off like a kid.

No sooner had Yu Han thought that than Fei Rui stuck out his eyestalks and said, 「I can translate a bit more, but I want to go home soon.」

Feral Spot hissed. He pushed against Huang Niuniu’s gloved palm, then pointed at the box with his tail.

“You’re so nice. Thank you!” Huang Niuniu beamed. “I can’t believe you actually had it.”

Feral Spot hissed pridefully, still pointing at the box. It was black wood, with hinges made of an unknown metal or alloy. No locks, just a clamp shutting the box lid. Huang Niuniu opened it. Inside were four items in a bed of straw cushioning.

Two were whips, each unlike the other.

“I—I didn’t ask for these,” Huang Niuniu said, surprised. “I only wanted the Martial Art.”

Yu Han sighed in relief. He’d been pushing her to get a proper Martial Art. She listened.

Feral Spot wobbled its head up and down, left and right. God only knew what it was trying to convey.

Huang Niuniu thanked him, tears pooling in her eyes. She picked one ribbon-whip up. The cloud that had been covering the moon moved away, as if to reflect its light on the ever-so-slightly shiny form of the dancing instrument.

It had a metallic core, covered by a patina of copper and bronze hues as if to mimic rust. It was thin and flat, like a ribbon should be. When Huang Niuniu untied the thread holding the main body in place, it swirled loose as if it was made of silk. Looking closely, the ribbon part wasn’t a seamless metal appendage, but many small, articulated plates joined together. They were lozenge-shaped, each no larger than a fingernail, and created a continuous chain like fish scales, each flowing into the next. The tip of the ribbon was like an arrowhead, glinting with a sharp edge.

“Wow,” Huang Niuniu said. “Pretty.”

She picked up the next one. It was a bone-whip, the core polished and smooth like it was made of white river stones. It wasn’t shaped like a ribbon, but a proper whip. She unfurled it with an unsettling grace.

The body was a vine of interlocking vertebrae and other bone parts, probably from beasts. It looked like the skeleton of a long, thin snake, each vertebra held together by white, almost translucent tendons and sinews. The handle was bone too, but had a leather-like grip, greyish brown in colour. The metallic ribbon-whip’s handle was wand-shaped in contrast, made of wood and affixed with a brown leather grip.

Feral Spot pointed at the next item in the box. It was a rectangular piece of green jade with a red tassel, about a finger’s length and half a centimetre thick. The jade wasn’t uniformly green but had swirling white tints, the texture similar to clouds in the sky. Etched on its surface were strange geometric shapes, surrounding Chinese-like characters.

Huang Niuniu held it up. “Is this jewellery?”

“That’s a jade slip,” Fang Zhao said.

“What’s it do?” Li Yao asked.

“It’s an archive one can read with their mind,” Fang Zhao replied. “They’re usually for Qi Gathering Realm cultivators and up, but this one’s a higher grade, judging by its make. Mortal Grade jade slips won’t have such intricate formations carved into them.”

“I’ll give it a try,” Huang Niuniu said. She squeezed the jade slip. Then squeezed harder.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to squeeze it,” Fang Zhao said. “Hold it up to your head.”

Huang Niuniu glared at Fang Zhao, then Feral Spot. “You should’ve said that sooner!”

The worm wiggled in amusement. Huang Niuniu touched the jade slip to her temple, eyes closed.

“Ah—” A small gasp left her mouth. She stumbled, but steadied herself at the last moment. Her closed eyes scrunched so hard it looked painful.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Yu Han didn’t know if he should interrupt this process. He clenched his fists in his pocket.

Finally, after a few minutes, she opened her eyes. “Han’er…”

Yu Han was by her side in a second. She leaned on his shoulder. As she rubbed her cheeks there, Fei Rui climbed up Yu Han’s side, then his shoulder, then hers.

「Soft Niuniu okay?」 he asked. He nudged her with a pincer.

“My head hurts,” she said weakly. “It’s a Martial Art that uses whips, not ribbons.”

The worm nodded. He hissed four times, the subtle green glow on his body ebbing and flowing.

「Big small worm said even though their Worm clan likes to collect human things that wiggle and squiggle like worms, they didn’t have any that used flat pieces of cloth-things. So it found a human thing. Ah! This is a Martial Art? I have one too! I bet mine is better. Um, right—it found a Martial Art for Soft Niuniu that is like dancing and uses two whips.」

Yu Han conveyed the interpretation, then asked, “What is it called?”

“Spiral Dance of the Willow and the Wisp,” she said, laughing. “Dance like the wisps resting within the thousand vines of the willow tree. Spiral, neverending. From birth until death. Um—that’s what the jade slip said.”

“No fucking way,” Yu Han said. “Willow Wisp? The tree, not will-o’-the-wisp?”

「Carapace Control Kata!」 Fei Rui said.

Yu Han imagined a crab going through tai-chi movements. It was ridiculous no matter how he thought about it.

“I want to try using the whips,” Huang Niuniu said. “Can you stay back?”

Yu Han and the rest gave her some space. Huang Niuniu took the metallic whip first. Its handle was like an unbloomed flower, whilst the whip body resembled silver roots.

“This one’s called the Lotus Razor,” Huang Niuniu said, unfurling the weapon with a flick.

The whip body flew outwards in a graceful arc. As it uncoiled through the air and reached full extension, the metallic scales parted like flowers, exposing hidden, razor-sharp blades between the joints. The handle of the whip extended too, transforming the elegant weapon into a chain of daggers shining in the moonlight. She retracted the whip with another fluid motion, and the scales joined together with mechanical precision.

“Since when were you that good?” Yu Han asked, amazed. The whole sequence felt so practised, as if she had done it thousands of times.

“It’s light,” Huang Niuniu said. “Lighter than even my ribbon whips. The jade slip told me about the razor blades.”

“Be careful with that, Niu’er.” Yu Han shuddered. “I don’t want to get backstabbed, even unintentionally!”

Huang Niuniu blushed. “T-That was so long ago! I’ve never hit you again in the middle of a fight, have I?”

“It wasn’t that long ago,” Yu Han said, forcing the point. She was clumsy and unpredictable. He wanted no accidents.

The girl puffed out her cheeks and picked up the bone-like whip. “This one’s called the Pale Spine,” she said. She uncoiled it, then took a stance. “I-It’s a bit tricky.”

After thinking for a while, she struck out. The skeletal whip gouged the air with a loud whoosh. When it was halfway through its motion, Huang Niuniu pressed the handle harder and angled her wrist. Suddenly, rib-like bones protruded out from the whip-body with a series of clicks.

“That’s nasty,” Li Yao said.

“Can Sister Huang really control this within a fast-paced fight?” Fang Zhao asked.

Cold sweat dripped down Yu Han’s back. In MMORPGs, there were friend and foe identification systems baked into the game. Chances of friendly fire were nil unless the event or game specifically included it.

That wasn’t the case here. If this dumb girl accidentally tripped an ally mid-fight, that would be a team wipe. And unlike games, they wouldn’t respawn.

“Niu’er—”

“Don’t say it!” Huang Niuniu did something to the whip handle, and the whip-ribs retracted.

“But—”

“I’ll just have to practise super fiercely.”

“Fine,” Yu Han said. “One whip for damage, the other for binding. You’ll be the hidden ace of our team.”

“Now you’re just saying things to flatter me. I’m still mad!” Huang Niuniu smiled as she slung the whips onto her belt. “The jade slip said they were both Earth grade, and can be used until the late Qi Gathering and even early Foundation Building stage.” She stopped, then gazed warmly at Feral Spot. “That’s so far away. I don’t even know when I’ll become Qi Gathering. Senior Feral Spot, thank you so much. Thank you. These whips, the Martial Art, they’ll keep me and Han’er safe.”

The worm stilled, then hid its face under the pit soil. A subtle pink glow replaced parts of the green hues near its head.

“Hey, Cow Girl! What about us? It’s no fair if you only talk about Tubs!” Li Yao smirked.

“Brother Li, read the mood. The mood!” Fang Zhao said hurriedly.

Yu Han felt his face heating up. But the girl was unfazed.

She picked up the final item from the box. It was a wooden bracelet with flowing patterns on the surface. Its inner curve had a string of miniature monster cores, all worn smooth to perfectly align with the bracelet’s arc. They flanked a single standard-sized spirit stone, slotted cleverly so as not to scrape against the wearer’s skin while equipped.

“This is the first time I’ve seen a bracelet with the jewellery on the inside.” Huang Niuniu cocked her head. “Senior Feral Spot, what does it do?”

The worm hissed a reply, finally showing its head from the pit again.

「It keeps the monsters from finding you! I bet it wouldn’t be allowed when she plays hide and go seek with the monsters,」 Fei Rui interpreted, and Yu Han conveyed the reply.

“A Spirituality Shrouding Charm?” Fang Zhao said. “That’s quite valuable. Especially since we’ll be going to the hidden realm.”

“You know about it?” Yu Han asked as Huang Niuniu put on the bracelet.

“Like the name says, these Charms are a type of magical tool that can hide one’s Spirituality from Monsters.”

“Monsters are imitations of life that want to be life,” Yu Han said. “It was mentioned in a book called ‘Creature Compendium.’ They despise beings with spirituality?”

In his mind, spirituality meant sentience. But if even non-human living beings had it, it wasn’t sapience. Perhaps sapience was just a higher “grade” of spirituality?

“That’s the explanation the elders give us, too.” Fang Zhao nodded. “They say monsters hate life because they are not life, yet they yearn for it with every fibre of their fake being. Meanwhile, us true living creatures have spirituality, the crucial thing they lack. All living beings have it, from humans that can think to little water bugs that cannot. Monsters can sense this spirituality like a starving shark smelling blood. And like sharks, they go into a frenzy. They wish to snuff out the owner of the spirituality, to steal it and make it theirs. Demonic cultivators and demons also cultivate by stealing this spirituality, but unlike monsters, they already possess spirituality and want to enhance it by consuming others’.”

“That’s a thoughtful reward,” Yu Han said. He didn’t know if all these were more valuable than what they could have gotten with contribution points, but the facts stood that these were highly tailored for Huang Niuniu.

“Enough chatter,” Li Yao said, rubbing his hands together. “Let’s open the next box!”

Huang Niuniu's fingers hovered just above the clamp for a moment as she shot Li Yao a sly grin.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, hurry up!” Li Yao groaned, throwing his head back.

With a sharp click, the clamp gave way, and the lid creaked open.