DC/Marvel: This Guy is Insane

On the rooftop, Alan sat on the guardrail, his feet dangling in the air.

"Isn't it romantic to watch the sunrise together?" Alan turned his head and looked at the vampire beside him.

Mmph… mmph…

This vampire was tied up completely, a rope stuffed in her mouth so she couldn't make a sound. But as she watched the sky gradually brighten, her eyes became more and more terrified. Vampires cannot see the sunlight; even their ancestor, Lilith, was no exception. The only one who had ever survived it was Count Dracula, and even he was burned to charcoal and needed blood to recover.

After Alan removed the gag from her mouth, the female vampire finally couldn't wait to beg for mercy. "Move me to the shadows! Quickly! I'll tell you everything I know!" She had seen her own kind suffer this punishment, one reserved for traitors. Imprisoned in a deep well, chained to prevent them from escaping, left until noon when the sunlight would fill every corner and the vampire would be reduced to ashes.

"I don't believe you." Alan turned his head away and said arrogantly, "With my intelligence, you can't possibly fool me."

"It's really too late! I don't want to die! I promise I'm telling the truth!" Looking at the rising sun, the woman said anxiously, "Frost has captured thousands of people and transformed them into vampires. He has been detaining them in a warehouse in the suburbs, not allowing them to drink blood. He wants their bloodthirsty thoughts to eat away at their rationality and train them into a violent vampire army."

"Tsk, I still don't believe you." Alan looked up at the sky with disdain, his expression unmoved.

"I'm not lying to you," the woman added desperately. "I was involved in the entire process of capturing and escorting them. I can take you to the warehouse." She was cautious and did not reveal the exact location, hoping to use this opportunity to escape.

"Sweetheart, I believe you." Alan put his arm around her shoulders and said affectionately, "But I just want to watch the sunrise."

"You're insane!" The female vampire twisted her body to try to break free, but unfortunately, she was tied up in circles and was unable to remove the restraints. She thought about biting him to transform him into one of her own, but the smell of garlic was so strong that she couldn't even get her mouth close. Her nostrils were burning with pain just from the smell. The garlic essence had originally been odorless, but after the chase, Alan had started to sweat, and the smell had mixed with the garlic-essence perfume, destroying the original balance.

"Look, the sun is so round." Alan pointed at the red sun that was halfway up the sky, his face filled with happiness.

"Hiss… it's burning me to death! What on earth do you want to do!?" The ultraviolet rays shone on the woman's face, causing her eyes to turn white and her skin to turn black and charred at a speed visible to the naked eye. Amidst her unwilling curses and roars, she turned to dust in the sunshine.

"Love is always so short-lived." Alan hugged the empty air and said goodbye affectionately. "Goodbye, my love."

A group of people had gathered in Batman's temporary base. Bruce, Eric, Damian, and Pamela were clustered around a microscope.

"It's a virus," Pamela said, looking through the microscope at the mutated cells in the blood. "They have the ability to assimilate other cells." Some blood samples had been taken from Eric and then dripped into the blood of a normal person, and the assimilation process had occurred immediately. Obviously, the transformation of vampires was a process of viral infection and assimilation.

"The specific characteristics are unknown. I need a blood sample from a real vampire," Pamela said seriously. Eric could suppress the urge to suck blood and did not have any vampire weaknesses, so his blood samples were not valuable for research. If they wanted to create a reversal serum, they had to extract samples from real vampires—or, more accurately, from newly converted vampires.

"Whatever equipment you need, I'll help you arrange it." Bruce had never thought of asking criminals for help, but he had to admit that Alan's ideas were sometimes very special and useful.

"I'll make a list." Pamela glanced at Bruce, then pretended to look down at the sample. Research equipment and instruments could easily cost tens or even hundreds of millions, and to ship them in an instant required not only a lot of money but also significant connections. Therefore, she had some guesses about Batman's true identity. Of course, this was just speculation, and there was no need to dig into the details. Even if she knew that Batman was Bruce, she would not expose him. The two had no grudges against each other, and her arrests and imprisonment in Arkham had all been at the hands of Gordon. Besides, she had a pretty good relationship with Batgirl. If it weren't for Batgirl's appearance, Batwoman might still be active in Gotham, and she couldn't help but miss her.

"The equipment is ready." Damian drove a forklift into the room and brought in a black box. When the lid was opened, a complete set of silver weapons was revealed, including a number of bullets with silver warheads. Eric tested the feel of the weapons, then picked and chose, equipping them on his body.

"Bats, can't you just prepare some garlic smoke bombs and ultraviolet grenades? Killing them one by one is so tiring." When everyone looked up, they were shocked to find Alan hanging from a beam.

"How did you find us?" Damian asked in confusion. He remembered not telling him the address, and besides, the temporary base was in a very hidden location and could not be easily found.

"I went back to the manor and asked the butler," Alan said. He didn't know the location of the base, so he had to go to Wayne Manor, and Alfred had told him the truth.

With a flip, Alan shook his head and said in sudden realization, "Bats, no wonder you don't imitate a real bat and hang upside down. It turns out your brain gets easily congested, and you feel dizzy."

"It's too late to make the two weapons you mentioned now." When Bruce heard Alan's suggestion, he thought it was a good idea. Eric nodded in agreement, but he only knew how to use the weapons, not how to develop them. Most of the time, he just mashed garlic into a pulp and used it as a garlic essence potion, which really had no technological sophistication.

"I'm a weapons expert at S.H.I.E.L.D.," Alan said proudly. "I was the one who gave Steve his ultimate weapon, the one that cost three thousand lives."

"Who is Steve?" Eric was confused. He had never heard of this person.

"Captain America, Steve Rogers. He's very famous and has a very nice butt. It's all thanks to the super-serum I helped improve that he has such a perfect body." Alan did not shy away from showing off his glorious deeds from the World War II timeline.

Eric had a foolish look on his face. They worked together at S.H.I.E.L.D.; how could he not know Captain America? It was obvious that he didn't believe such nonsense. At the same time, Bruce felt that Alan was having another one of his episodes and was just talking nonsense.

"I'm telling you the truth, but you still don't believe me." Alan walked to the computer and said angrily, "Bats, help me connect to the Avengers. I'll prove it to you."

"Stop making trouble." There was some friction between the Justice League and the Avengers, and Bruce didn't want to contact them for no reason. And to do so at the request of a madman was simply a provocation.

"Ah, um… I want to connect to the Avengers, I want to connect to the Avengers…" Alan rolled around on the table, acting like a scoundrel, refusing to stop until he was connected.

"I'll help you connect." There was a glimmer of cunning in Damian's eyes. He was looking forward to seeing Alan slapped in the face and humiliated, a small revenge for the Armpit Burger incident.

Connecting…

Steve's face appeared on the screen.

"Bat-Family, this is the first time you've taken the initiative to connect. Do you need the Avengers to help you…"

***

(End of Chapter)

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