DC/Marvel: This Guy is Insane

Knock, knock, knock…

In the storage room, by the third row, second compartment, Alan stood, humming with anticipation, eager for some unexpected change.

Bang!

A secret compartment popped open. Inside, nestled within, lay another letter.

"How romantic! Playing with mystery, I love it." Alan opened the envelope. The letter instructed him to search under the third washing machine in the laundry room.

"Who is it?" Suddenly, Alan realized someone was playing a trick on him. He scanned the storage room with his "wise eyes," as if searching for a suspicious person, but he was utterly alone.

"I must find out who you are," Alan declared seriously. "The woman will be punished on the spot, and the man will be spanked a hundred times."

He marched out of the storage room and headed straight for the laundry. Edward and Cobblepot, hiding in a corner, quietly watched him go.

"Who's so bored as to play tricks on a psychopath?" Edward mused, his brain already racing. He quickly filtered through the Arkham Asylum inmates. It seemed unlikely. How could a group of brutes who only understood violence concoct such an elaborate chain of schemes?

"I think middle-aged men wearing tights at night are quite boring," Cobblepot remarked casually.

"I agree with that point," Edward nodded in agreement. "I imagine Batman thinks he's very handsome and calls himself the embodiment of justice, but he's actually a psychologically traumatized, violent maniac."

Indeed, Bruce truly harbored deep psychological issues, the shadow of his parents' deaths never truly fading.

The two villains sneakily tracked Alan to the laundry room. They hid at the door, peeking out to watch Alan effortlessly lift a heavy washing machine with one hand and retrieve the third letter.

The note read: "Open each of the 9,517 washing machines, one by one, and you will get a surprise."

Alan hesitated. "Forget it," he muttered. His hands, however, unconsciously rose, and Nurse Lefty and Nurse Righty came online, offering conflicting advice.

"Honey, don't go on. It could be a trap. Don't make me worry about you."

"Alan, you're a coward, a mentally ill coward. How can you sleep at night if you don't see what it is?"

Alan glared at his left hand, then at his right, and retorted, "I'm not a coward! Whoever doesn't dare is a coward!"

Decisively, he began to start the washing machines, one by one. As the third washing machine began to fill with water and entered its spin cycle, something strange finally happened.

Puff…

A sound like a valve leaking air echoed. The wall sank inward, and a passage separated from it. Looking down the dark passage, Alan peered furtively inside and muttered, "It's so dark. Why don't they turn on the lights?" He reached out and touched the wall of the entrance. With a click, the passage became bright and transparent. He walked in without hesitation.

Fear? It simply didn't exist for him. The scarier it was, the more exciting.

"He's going in. Do you want to follow him?" Edward whispered.

"Of course, I have to find out. Otherwise, why would I have followed you this far?" Cobblepot replied.

Edward and Cobblepot exchanged glances, deciding to see what was going on. After all, curiosity was human nature. Besides, with Alan playing the role of a forward scout, they could always run if the situation turned sour.

"Hey!"

"Oh…"

"Ah…"

Just as they were about to step into the passage, Alan rushed out from the entrance, startling them so much that their hearts began to pound.

"I caught you!" Alan declared proudly. "You've made such a mess. Allow me to expose your antics!"

Forehead… Edward realized Alan had misunderstood, thinking they were playing a prank. He quickly explained, "It wasn't us who did it. Digging a secret passage would be impossible to hide from everyone."

That was true. Not to mention the issue of tools, merely drilling through the wall to build a passage was no small project, and Arkham's security guards were neither deaf nor blind. The only reasonable explanation was that a secret passage had been accounted for in the blueprints when Arkham Asylum was first built.

"Now that you mention it, I'm even more excited! Hehehehe… baby, I'm coming!" Alan rushed into the secret passage without another thought, leaving Edward and Cobblepot stunned.

Didn't he even consider the danger? Alan's blatant disregard for his own safety made them hesitate. The mentally ill were not afraid of death, but they were afraid of death. The origin of Arkham Asylum could be traced back to the 1950s. It was so old that no one could pinpoint who exactly designed and built it.

"Why don't we just take a look? If there's any problem, we can always retreat," Edward suggested.

"If something is truly wrong, there can be no hesitation," Cobblepot replied.

After careful consideration, the Riddler and the Penguin stepped into the secret passage. After walking only a few meters, they heard a strange noise behind them. Looking back, they suddenly discovered that the entrance to the secret passage was closing.

"Run!" Edward shouted, trying to retreat from the secret passage. Unfortunately, he was one step too late. By the time he reached the door, the gap was no longer big enough for a normal person to pass through. After knocking on the concrete wall, the dull echo indicated that the wall was very thick.

Now, they were truly in a dilemma. The only thing they could do was to keep going down and catch up with Alan. After a while, they walked along the secret passage to the bottom and found a track hidden underground.

"Hurry up and get in the car. I've been waiting for you for a long time." Alan was already sitting on a railcar, waving to the two men.

The railcar was covered in rust and mud. Curiously, the underground track itself remained dry and showed no corrosion, leading them to believe the rust was merely an extra layer of accumulated dust. Edward and Cobblepot acted as laborers, manually driving the railcar forward. They drove through a long tunnel, illuminated by dim yellow lights along the way.

"This looks like an underground military fortification," Edward guessed. "Could it be a secret military transport line?" Arkham Asylum was built during the Cold War, so it was logical to construct a shelter to avoid nuclear war. The only nuclear missile crisis the world had ever faced had made wealthy Americans keen on secretly building doomsday fortresses.

"There seems to be a door ahead." Cobblepot pointed straight ahead, where the railway track ended at a black iron door embedded in the wall. As they approached, they stopped and pressed manually, and the railcar came to a steady halt.

The three men stood in front of the door, looking closely at the pitch-black iron barrier. There were no door handles at all, and even the edges were tightly sealed. Suddenly, a red light came on and scanned Cobblepot from head to toe, followed by an electronic synthesized voice: "The target's appearance does not match." Then, a scan was performed on Edward, and the same result was displayed.

"Unicron, I will not let you defile my body!" Just as the infrared scan came, Alan dodged by changing position, constantly shifting back and forth, behaving very uncooperatively. As if anticipating such a problem, infrared rays suddenly shot out from multiple directions, scanning from different angles.

"Target matched, welcome back, Commander."

The next second, the pitch-black iron door rose up by itself.

What's happening!?

What's going on!?

This scene made Edward and Cobblepot's brains reel. Alan, Commander… You must be kidding! Having a psychopath as a commander truly narrowed an organization's potential.

"Ahem… no need to welcome me," Alan pretended to be calm and composed, his hands behind his back, mimicking a leader on an inspection tour.

Walking into the iron gate, the scene inside came into view, revealing what turned out to be a secret base.

***

(End of Chapter)

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