Demon of Dawn and Dusk

As I looked up at Ellen, I considered the situation with Elder Celine and Cultivator Aneira. Depending on how much she valued Cultivator Aneira, Elder Celine might try to silence us to keep Cultivator Aneira’s Pure Yin Physique a secret. I doubted that she would harm us or kill us given my background, but she could very well buy our silence or threaten us into submission. It would all depend on how Elder Celine liked to handle things.

“What happened to Cultivator Byron?” I asked, putting the issue of Elder Celine and Cultivator Aneira aside for now.

Ellen shook her head.

“I don’t know.” She said. “They brought him to another part of Rainbow Healer Hall. He survived, I know that much, but I know nothing beyond that. Would you like me to find out?”

“No,” I said, “As long as he survived, that’s all that matters.” I chuckled. “I can’t collect my winnings from a dead man.”

Ellen smiled at that, but I saw that her heart wasn’t in it. I noticed a hint of worry in her eyes.

“How about you?” I asked. “How are you feeling, Ellen?”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Young Master,” she said, “I’m fine.”

I gave one of her hands a gentle squeeze.

“Let me ask you again,” I said in a firm voice, “How are you feeling? This time, don’t try to hide anything from me.”

Ellen gave me a surprised look, before she smiled again. This one seemed more genuine than the last one.

“I’m scared, Young Master.” She said. “I don’t like seeing you get hurt. However, I know it’s inevitable that you will. The world of cultivation is dangerous. Injuries, and even death, are common. Not only that, but you’re Mistress Nova’s son. Violence is part of your heritage.” She squeezed my left hand. “Even so, watching as those flying swords pierced your body was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.”

A part of me wanted to reassure Ellen and promise her that I wouldn’t get hurt, but that would be a lie. As she said, the world was a dangerous place. Even if I kept to myself and tried to live a quiet life, something might happen to me anyway. More importantly, that wasn’t the kind of life I wanted to live. Like my mother and my sisters, I was a martial idiot. I enjoyed fighting. Killing was another matter. Until I killed someone, I wouldn’t know how I felt about it.

“The solution is simple then,” I said, giving Ellen a reassuring smile, “I need to become strong enough so that I don’t become injured anymore.”

Ellen laughed.

“That is a solution, yes.” She said. “It works for Mistress Nova. I don’t see why it won’t work for you.” Her laughter died down and her expression turned somber. “Until then, I will do everything in my power to protect you, Young Master. If I have to give up my life in order to do so, then so be it.”

I sat up, ignoring my body’s protest.

“No.” I said.

My actions caught Ellen off guard and she stared at me in shock.

“Promise me that you won’t sacrifice your life for my sake.” I said.

“Young Master, I-”

“Promise me.” I squeezed her hand. “If you care about me, then promise me that you will live.”

Ellen stared at me for several long moments, before she nodded.

“Very well.” She said. “I promise not to sacrifice myself for your sake, Young Master. I promise to live.”

I let out a relieved sigh. The thought of living in a world without Ellen in it terrified me beyond reason. It was strange. I had known her for less than a year, but she had become one of the most important people in my life.

“Good.” I said. “Just… Good.”

Ellen smiled at that.

“You’re such a sweetheart, Young Master.” She said.

The moment Ellen called me “sweetheart”, it felt as if a bolt of lightning had hit me. It felt both familiar and unfamiliar, like a half forgotten memory or a word stuck on the tip of one’s tongue. I stared at Ellen, trying to figure out what this meant. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. It was like trying to grasp air with my bare hands, a pointless and futile endeavor.

“What did you just call me?” I asked, unable to stand it anymore.

Ellen stared at me for a moment, before her expression fell and she closed her eyes.

“And things had been going so well, too.” She murmured.

I kept silent and waited for her to answer my question.

“I called you a sweetheart, Young Master.” Ellen said, opening her eyes.

Once again, I was hit with a sense of familiarity and unfamiliarity.

“It feels like you’ve called me that before, Ellen,” I said, “However, that can’t be. You’ve never called me anything other than ‘Young Master.’”

Ellen turned away from her, a conflicted expression on her face, as if she were facing an immense internal dilemma.

“Because it’s not the first time I’ve called you that, Young Master.” Ellen said. “I used to call you that all the time, back when you were a child.”

A thread of unease wrapped itself around my heart. I found it difficult to breathe, as if there was a heavy weight on my chest.

“I don’t remember this.” I said.

“That’s because I sealed your memories of me,” Ellen said, “For your own protection.”

Her words stunned me. So much so, that I forgot how to breathe for several seconds.

“You sealed my memories of you?” I asked.

Ellen nodded and looked at me once more. Pain filled her eyes.

“Yes,” she said, “I… Perhaps I should start from the beginning.”

“Please do.” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “Right now, it is taking every ounce of self control I possess in order to maintain my composure.”

Since I practiced the Song of Dawn and Dusk mental refinement technique, I possessed a stronger will than most people. Even so, both my mind and my heart were in turmoil.

“Do you remember when my brother mentioned that he and I once traveled to the Myriad Rivers province?” Ellen asked.

I nodded.

“The reason why we went there in the first place was because we received word that one of the cultivators who hunted our family was spotted there.” Ellen explained. “My brother and I wanted revenge, so we set out. However, our enemy was a Golden Core cultivator. Elliot and I were only in mid Foundation Establishment back then, so we resorted to underhanded means to kill him.” She looked away from me, ashamed. “I… posed as a courtesan and seduced him in order to poison him. Once he was poisoned, Elliot and I killed him together. Unfortunately, the man was a part of the Beast Blood Sect. They’re a demonic sect that specializes in alchemy using spirit beast blood and demon beast blood. The man’s sect investigated his death and discovered that we were responsible.”

I stared at Ellen, riveted by her story. As reprehensible as I found her actions, I also sympathized with her. Along with Elliot, she wanted to avenge her family. However, the two of them faced an opponent much stronger than themselves. No wonder they resorted to seduction and poison. In their shoes, would I have done anything different?

“To avoid getting caught, Elliot and I split up.” Ellen said, continuing her story. She faced me once again. “I disguised myself as a human mortal, took on the name Helen, and fled to a certain town located at the base of a certain mountain.”

“Mt. Wind Dance.” I said.

Ellen nodded.

“To pass the time, I opened up a shop that specialized in making sweets for children.” She said, a small smile on her face. “That was how I lived for the next two years.” Her smile disappeared. “About six months after I arrived, a certain boy entered my shop for the first time.”

“Me.” I said.

“Yes,” Ellen said, “You. At first I mistook you for a street urchin, because of your clothing and because of how thin you were. I felt so bad for you that I tried to give you a sweet for free.” She chuckled. “You got angry with me and demanded to pay for the sweet, saying that you didn’t need my pity. It was rather cute, I have to admit.”

That sounded about right. As much as I hated the way my kin abused and neglected me back then, I hated being pitied more. It made me feel even more pathetic.

“After that day, you became a regular at my shop.” Ellen continued. “It didn’t take me long to find out that you lived on Mt. Wind Dance. I figured that you were either the son of a mortal serving Clan Wind Dance, or a servant yourself; a poorly treated one at that. Either way, I never found out your true identity.” Her expression turned bitter. “If I had, I could have informed your sisters about how Clan Wind Dance treated you and things could have turned out differently.”

I wondered about that myself, and my own mood turned bitter. If things had played out in a different way, if my sisters had rescued me earlier, then I would have known what it was like to have a loving family sooner. However, that was neither here nor there. I was just grateful that Astra rescued me in the first place. Otherwise, I would have still been on Mt. Wind Dance, alone and miserable. Her actions changed the course of my life.

“To my surprise, you came to my shop every day.” Ellen said. “It didn’t take me long to find out why. You were lonely and desperate for affection, even if it came from the woman who ran the sweets shop.” She gave me a sad smile. “As part of my disguise, I called all of my customers ‘sweetheart’. However, when I realized that was the reason why you kept coming back to my shop, I reserved that particular term of endearment for you.” She looked thoughtful at that. “I’m not sure why. Maybe it was because I was alone and far from home, being hunted by enemies. You and I were kin of sorts, two lonely souls making their way in the world.”

She smiled for a moment, as if lost in fond memories.

“As time went on, you and I grew closer and closer. You were such a kind and sweet child. You even started calling me Big Sis Helen. It got to the point where I started to think about taking you with me, after I left town. Yes, I risked offending Clan Wind Dance by stealing one of their servants, but given the way they treated you, it was clear to me that they didn’t value you much.”

I sucked in a breath when she said this.

“Why didn’t you?” I asked.

Ellen’s smile faded away.

“I waited too long.” She said. “I liked living as a human mortal, and the insights I gained from doing so helped with my cultivation. I was also worried about how you would react after you found out the truth about me, so I delayed my departure. However, the Beast Blood Sect soon found out that I was in the general area. They must have made some kind of deal with Clan Wind Dance, because Beast Blood Sect cultivators searched the area for me with impunity. To avoid discovery, I needed to flee.” She paused, and her hold on my hand grew tighter. “I made the choice to leave you behind. If you came with me, your life would be in danger. I couldn’t do that to you. At least with Clan Wind Dance, you wouldn’t have to flee for your life from demonic cultivators.”

“Is that why you sealed my memories?” I asked. “To protect me?”

Ellen nodded, her eyes glistening with tears.

“Yes.” She said. “While searching for me, Beast Blood Sect cultivators sometimes grabbed mortals and soul scoured them, destroying their minds and souls in the process. If the Beast Blood Sect realized that you had a connection to me, they would have done the same to you.”

I grimaced at that. Soul scouring involved using one’s spirit sense to search another’s mind and soul. Cultivators often did this to interrogate enemies and prisoners, but it could also be used to learn more about the techniques a cultivator practiced. However, soul scouring was violent and invasive, often destroying the mind and soul of the one being soul scoured

“To keep that from happening,” Ellen said. “I sealed your memories of me, as well as the memories of anyone who knew you were a regular at my shop. After that, I left. However, I never forgot about you. I promised to myself to come back for you after I became stronger and take you away from Mt. Wind Dance. That was how much you meant to me.” She wore a self deprecating smile. “Imagine my surprise when, a mere ten years later, I saw you participating in the entrance exam for the Dawn and Dusk Sect.”

I blinked at her in surprise.

“You watched the entrance exam?” I asked.

“Yes,” Ellen said, nodding, “The young mistresses, your sister, showed such interest that I felt compelled to do the same. When I saw you again, and realized who you were, I didn’t know how to react. The kind young boy I used to know had grown up to be a kind young man; a handsome one at that.” She paused. “I’ll admit, I struggled with my attraction to you for a bit. After all, I knew you as a child and I am much older than you. However, significant age gaps between couples isn’t unusual for cultivators. Some are a few decades apart, while others have several centuries between them. In the end, I decided to accept my feelings and pursue you.” She sighed. “And then I found out that you were Mistress Nova’s son. That became the biggest obstacle in my path.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I knew I would face opposition if I pursued you.” Ellen said. “Both from my family and yours. You witnessed your sister’s reaction for yourself. If you hadn’t… claimed me the way you did, Young Mistress Astra would have removed me from your side.” She shook her head. “My guilt weighed me down as well. I failed to recognize you, which means that everything that happened to you after I left was my fault. It took me some time to make my decision. Otherwise, I would have approached you sooner. When Young Mistress Sidra asked for two of our family to serve and protect you, I volunteered and my brother joined me.”

Ellen took a deep breath.

“And that is my story, Young Master.” She said. “Now you know everything.”

Countless questions buzzed through my mind. It felt like someone had stuffed a beehive in my head. I didn’t know how to feel about what Ellen told me. I was angry, yes. The idea that Ellen tinkered with my mind, my memories, sent shivers down my spine. I wanted to throttle her for it.

However, I also felt sorrow. I wondered how my life would have turned out if Ellen hadn’t left me behind back then. It would have been dangerous, but maybe it would have been better.

I frowned at that thought. No, perhaps not. If Ellen had taken me with her back then, our relationship would have become something different that it was now. Despite everything, I liked the way things were. No, liked was too mild a word. I didn’t want to lose what we had now.

“Why did you decide to pursue me in the end?” I asked. “Despite everything? The opposition you would face, and your own guilt?”

Ellen grinned at me.

“Oh, that’s easy,” she said, “I wanted you, and I am a shameless and wicked woman. Otherwise, why else would I pursue a man much younger than me? And one I knew as a child at that?”

I blinked at her.

“How old are you?” I asked.

That was something I never thought about before, but I figured that Ellen wasn’t too much older than me. Ten years at the most. No, twenty.

“About one hundred and two years old.” she answered.

My jaw dropped and I stared at her in surprise.

“That’s… Okay, you’re much older than I expected.” I said.

“Is that a problem?” Ellen asked, apprehensive.

I took a moment to think about it.

“No.” I said. “In fact, I think it’s a little exciting to be with an older woman. Besides, after we both reach a certain age, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

Ellen sucked in a breath.

“Does this mean that you accept my feelings?” she asked.

I frowned at that.

“I’m not sure.” I said. “I want to. However, I don’t like some of the things you’ve done. You sealed my memories. Not only that, but you seduced and poisoned someone. And that is just from what you told me. For all I know, you’ve done worse. Yet, I don’t know if I have the right to judge you. If I had been in your position, maybe I would have done the same.” I sighed. “My mind is a mess right now.”

Ellen nodded.

“I understand, Young Master.” She said. “I know I am not the best prospect for a wife, or even a concubine. However, I can promise you this. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy. That is the other reason why I decided to pursue you in the end. I failed you once before. I don’t intend to fail you again.”

I gave her a serious look.

“What about your own safety?” I asked. “Your own happiness?”

Ellen smiled.

“Being with you makes me happy.” She said, before her smile turned coy. “As for my safety, well, you can protect me once you grow strong enough.” She paused and looked hesitant. “Assuming you accept my feelings, that is. If not, then I will settle for being your personal servant. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters to me, Young Master.”

As I listened to her speak, I realized that I had already made my decision. I was just hesitating out of fear. What if this was the wrong choice? However, I realized that I didn’t care. Maybe I would regret this decision in the future, but for now, I would enjoy the present.

“Darian.” I said.

Ellen blinked at me.

“If we’re going to be together, you should call me by name.” I said. “It would be odd if you kept calling me ‘Young Master.’”

Ellen stared at me for several long seconds, before a wide smile stretched across her face.

“Are you sure about this?” She asked. “Don’t make this decision lightly. I’m warning you now. Once you’re mine, I don’t intend to ever let you go. Take your time to think about it. Otherwise, you may regret your rashness.”

I shook my head.

“I’ve thought about it a lot already,” I said, “And I told myself that I would make my decision after I heard about how we first met. Now that you’ve told me, I don’t have any reason to keep hesitating.” I gave her a hard look. “Just don’t betray me or tinker with my mind again. I can forgive many things, but not those. Understood?”

Ellen nodded.

“Yes, Young-… Darian.” She said. “I understand.”

She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed it. Then she started leaving a trail of kisses, starting at my wrist and moving up my arm. My hunger stirred and my nerves thrummed with excitement.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

Ellen smirked at me, before kissing my arm again.

“Seducing you.” She said. “Now that you’ve agreed to be mine, I need to stake my claim and solidify my position as your first woman; your first wife. Otherwise, another woman may come along and take my place. I can’t let that happen.”

As she spoke, Ellen crawled onto the bed and straddled my lap. She looked like a predator who just caught her prey. A shiver ran down my spine. Whether it was from fear or anticipation, I didn’t know. Maybe it was both.

“Who would try anything here?” I asked. “I’m a patient in a clinic.”

“Harlow Gentle Cloud,” Ellen answered. “If you recall, she’s a disciple of Rainbow Healer Hall. I remember how she looked at you, back during the entrance exam. If she realized you were here, and how weak you were right now, she might come here to take advantage of you.”

I thought back to Cultivator Harlow and how she treated me during the entrance exam.

“She wouldn’t do that, right?” I asked. “Would she?”

Ellen reached over and pinched my cheek.

“Ah, my sweet and innocent Darian,” she said, “You have so much to learn about the world.” She grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”

With that, she leaned forward to kiss me. However, before our lips touched, someone knocked on the door.