Duoluo Dalu: Hail Hydra

Bright lights.

That was the first thing he saw. A pair of blinding white beams piercing the night, growing larger and larger, big enough to swallow him entirely.

His mind was still catching up. One moment, he was stepping out of the convenience store for a breath of fresh air; the next, a roaring engine was all he could hear.

His last thought?

Oh, come on! At least let me finish this drink, you bastard!

CRASH!!

Some say that in the moment of death, your entire life flashes before your eyes. For him? It wasn't anything dramatic. Just a series of unfortunate, mediocre, and downright annoying events.

He wasn't a bad guy. Just… normal. A little too normal. A life that never got past the tutorial.

He had difficulties talking to girls, not in a tragic, bullied-nerd way, but more like an NPC in a dating sim with no dialogue options. He wanted to speak, but when the moment came, his tongue would glitch out.

Then, the one time he finally gathered the courage to confess to his high school crush, she hit him with a gut punch.

"Oh… you're such a nice guy! But I already have a boyfriend."

Like a fool, he laughed it off, pretending it didn't hurt. He tried again, this time with a childhood friend.

"You're like a brother to me."

At that moment, he realized something. Love? Not for him.

Fine. He didn't need romance. He had games, damn it. But then, even his few friends had to rub salt in the wound.

"Mobile gamers aren't real gamers," they sneered.

His response?

"Well, fuckers, then why don't you gimme money to buy a console? Huh? Got cash for that? No? Then shut the hell up!"

But with MOBA games being pay to win, provided unfair matching to Free to Play gamers. So, he turned towards reading webnovels and manga. This soon became his favourite pastime activity. For, at least those protagonists had interesting lives. System? Overpowered cheats? Romance? God-tier cultivation? He could only dream.

Reality was less exciting.

He had to work at a convenience store straight after high school. A full-time job, unlike his peers who worked part-time just to save up for a new gaming PC.

Did he hate it? Not really. But did he like it? Hell no.

The pay was decent, for a store worker. He could afford food, rent, and Wi-Fi. No luxuries, but whatever. He wasn't that bright, and college was out of reach anyway.

And that brought him to now, on his shift break, stepping outside for a breath of evening air.

To drink this box of juice and to gaze at the stats with eyes tearing up with regret.

Then, a wild truck appeared.

When he next opened his eyes, he was no longer on the sidewalk, no longer in front of a store, no longer alive.

Instead, he was standing on a platform of metallic panels, illuminated by a strange, pulsating blue energy. Towering structures of shifting gears and rotating machinery stretched into an endless skyline. The air smelled of ozone and raw power.

It was familiar.

"Wait a minute… isn't this?"

He turned and immediately froze.

A hulking, red-and-blue metallic figure stood before him. A very, very recognizable one.

"No way."

The giant mech crossed his arms, its optics glowing an intense blue. The deep, commanding voice echoed through the air.

"Wow, you got that right."

The man blinked, his brain short-circuiting.

"Holy shit. Truck-kun is Optimus Prime?"

It made too much sense. All those years, all those unfortunate souls getting isekai'd by random runaway trucks. Who else could be behind it?

The supposed "Optimus" chuckled, shifting slightly.

"You're taking this well, young one."

He sighed. "Bro, I've read enough webnovels to know how this goes. You're here to send me to another world, right?"

Optimus/Truck-kun, tilted his head. "Sharp one, aren't you? But I didn't even finish my.."

"I know what you're gonna say," he interrupted, raising a hand. "That I'm about to be reborn in another world, probably for the entertainment of some higher being. And if you're going to give me a cheat, you'll offer it now."

A moment of silence.

Optimus let out a booming laugh. "Hah! I like your attitude. No screaming, no crying, no 'why me?' Just straight to the deal."

"I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Beg for my old life back? Pass. Give me something good and throw me in already."

Optimus or whatever cosmic being was behind this, grinned. "Fine. You want a good one? I'll give you a real cheat. Have fun."

The last thing he saw was a flash of golden light.

Then, darkness, filled with warmth and softness.

The sensation of existing returned, slowly but surely.

It felt strange, like he was floating in a liquid cocoon. His body felt… different. Not weak. Not frail. Strong, powerful. As if something primal and ancient slumbered within his very core.

Then, his mind snapped into full awareness. A jolt of energy surged through him, searing through his veins like wildfire. His eyes snapped open.

His senses expanded, his ears caught unfamiliar sounds, his nose twitched at new scents, and something else stirred within him.

An instinct. A hunger for something beyond normal human limitations. He forced his eyes open.

The world was no longer metallic and cold. Instead, he saw a dimly lit chamber, its walls decorated with patterns of gold and jade. Torches flickered, casting shifting shadows.

He wasn't alone.

A group of people stood around him, their gazes heavy with expectation. Some wore fine robes embroidered with golden dragons, while other elders, judging by their age, had an air of authority.

At the center of it all stood a tall, sharp-featured man with piercing eyes. His aura radiated power, yet his gaze held nothing but indifference, stepped forward.

"Yu Xiaotian," the man said, voice commanding. "It is time for you to awaken your martial soul."

Yu who now?

Wait. No. Hold on. Memories flooded his mind, new ones. A past that wasn't his, yet felt strangely familiar.

And then, it hit him.

"Oh… oh, you've got to be kidding me."

He wasn't just isekai'd into any world.

This was the world of Tang San, the most relatable hero. After all, who hasn't mastered hidden weapons in their past life and got a titled duoluo as father in the next? Then he gets twin martial souls, cultivates faster than anyone and has lots of plot armour.

Relatable and humble.

Now this prestigious clan which he was born into, according to the recently acquired memories? It was prestigious and had noble bloodline. An arrogant bunch of lizard-worshipers who thought having "Tyrant Dragon" in their name made them hot shit.

The strong man who just called his name was Yu Yuanzhen, the patriarch of the clan and father of three, including him. The eldest, Yu Feng, the personification of arrogance, stood right next to their father on the stage with a disdainful smile on his face.

The twin brother named Yu Xiaogang, had just awakened a weak, mutated martial soul, right before him. The owner of Luo San Pao, the useless future theorist, the future joke of the cultivation world, the dude who got cucked by fate itself… his titles went on. A future filled with ridicule, disappointment, and exile.

And then, his own name.

Yu Xiaotian.

His eyes twitched.

No. Hell. No.

His fists clenched. Truck-kun owed him a damn cheat, and he refused to be some side character doomed to mediocrity.

He was in Douluo Dalu.

A surge of power rumbled within him. Something massive, something ancient began to stir.

The chamber trembled. The air crackled.

Then a wyrm emerged from his hand, but it looked as if its tail was cut off and its eyes glowing with unholy power.

Gasps filled the chamber. Shock. Fear. Disgust.

An elder finally spoke with his voice trembling.

"A… Wyrm?"

Murmurs exploded.

"Impossible!"

"The Blue Lightning Tyrant Dragon Clan has never produced anything like this!"

"Could it be… a mutation? A deviation from the dragon bloodline?"

Yu Xiaogang, his twin brother, stood frozen. His face had gone completely pale, his fingers clenching into fists.

Their father, Yu Yuanzhen, the most authoritative figure in the clan, narrowed his eyes. His voice was dangerously quiet.

"A dog-pig… and a mutilated wyrm."

Yu Feng, their elder brother, standing all this while next to their father, sneered, "Father, it seems our bloodline has been tainted with mediocrity."

Yu Yuanzhen's eyes narrowed, disappointment evident. "A dog-pig… and a mutilated wyrm."

An elder snapped, "It doesn't even qualify as a proper beast spirit! Look at its appearance, it is more like an imperfect tool spirit!"

Another elder snapped along, "Absurd! The wyrm is a beast of chaos and destruction! It is an incomplete dragon!"

"Yeah," Xiaotian muttered under his breath, "that checks out."

Unfortunately, they heard him.

"You dare insult our clan's sacred dragons?!" one elder barked.

Xiaotian sighed. Oh great, I pissed off the dragon fan club.

The Grand Elder Yu Zhenhai, an old fossil with a beard long enough to strangle someone, squinted at the two brothers and scoffed.

"Hah! So this is the next generation of our proud clan? What a joke!"

Beside him, Yu Luomian, Yu Yuanzhen's brother with receding hairline and brain cell count, burst into laughter. "One has a spirit so useless it can't even be named properly, and the other… a disgusting wyrm?!"

The hall erupted into laughter.

Yu Xiaotian sighed internally. He had seen this coming from a mile away.

His twin brother Yu Xiaogang stood frozen, his fists clenched as whispers filled the room.

"That's not a dragon, that's a damn dog-pig!"

"His spirit mutated beyond recognition! A complete failure!"

"And the other one… it's not even a beast spirit! A lowly wyrm!"

Yu Xiaotian remained calm on the surface, but inside he was cursing. Truck-kun, you scamming piece of scrap metal.

He had gone into this whole rebirth thing with high hopes. Maybe a badass Golden Dragon? A divine-level Phoenix? A god-tier cheat?

Instead, he got a wyrm, which was so mutated it was a defective tool spirit. A dragon with neither wings nor limbs.

"A Wyrm," one elder sneered, voice dripping with contempt. "A snake with delusions of grandeur."

Yu Xiaotian resisted the urge to deck him on the spot.

Despite the humiliation, the clan had no choice but to test their spirit power, a fundamental step in determining their potential.

Yu Xiaogang went first.

He placed his hand on the Spirit Measuring Orb, his face pale. The orb flickered weakly before settling on a dull glow.

Innate Spirit Power: 3

The hall was silent for a moment. Laughter. Again.

"Only 3?! Even peasants without cultivation have more talent!"

"This is too funny! What a disgrace!"

Yu Xiaogang's head dropped, his expression dark.

Yu Xiaotian, on the other hand, sighed. Man… my brother is really getting the full protagonist tragic backstory treatment, yet he never gets to be the protagonist. Oh fate.. aren't thou a heartless bitch?

His turn.

With a deep breath, Yu Xiaotian stepped forward and placed his hand on the orb.

The moment his fingers made contact..

BOOM!!

A golden light exploded from the orb, nearly blinding everyone in the room. It flickered wildly, releasing intense energy waves that shook the hall.

Elders stumbled backward, shielding their eyes.

The measuring device trembled violently.

Silence. Utter silence.

One elder, Yu Fan, squinted at the measuring device and swallowed hard. "That… that's…"

Another elder, Yu Guang, his face now drenched in sweat, stammered, "Innate… full spirit power…"

The room, once filled with mocking laughter, was now dead silent.

Yu Xiaotian casually dusted off his hands and smirked.

"Not bad, huh?"

Despite his monstrous spirit power, the clan was reluctant to acknowledge him.

"Hmph," Yu Zhenhai grumbled. "Innate full spirit power means nothing if your martial soul is trash."

Yu Xiaotian blinked. Oh? Oh? So now they were gonna act like this wasn't a big deal?

Yu Feng scoffed, "What's the use ? With a defective tool spirit, he's still worthless."

Before anyone could say more, the clan leader's voice cut through the noise like a blade.

"Silence."

The room fell into dead stillness.

Yu Yuanzhen raised a hand. "Despite the... abnormalities, they are of my blood. We will grant them an opportunity."

Turning to his sons, he declared, "Yu Xiaogang, when you reach the rank of Spirit Scholar Level 10, both of you will receive your first spirit rings. However, if your spirits prove useless after that, you will be disowned and cast out."

Yu Zhenhai grinned. "With the second one's talent, they'll probably remain here for a lifetime."

The hall erupted into cruel laughter again.

Yu Xiaotian's smile twitched. You mean, eat, train, rest and repeat for free? Bet.

The cruel laughter continued until the patriarch announced, "Dismissed."