Elden Ring: My Ending

The sorcerer's robes fit Konstantin perfectly, though he wasn't particularly thrilled about it. Surprisingly, the head-shaped crown didn't obstruct his vision, and it did an excellent job of concealing his face from prying eyes.

Not that Konstantin relied much on normal sight anyway. A true Soulslike player treats a broken camera as just another boss to conquer(1). Still, it was a small, unexpected comfort.

Unfortunately, the rest of the situation wasn't nearly as pleasant.

"Who would've thought the key would be with a dragon…" murmured Sellen's illusion. "And how exactly did you even know about it, Tarnished?"

"Konstantin. Or just Kosta," the man repeated with his usual deadpan delivery.

He couldn't believe he'd donned the attire of a casual player again. Accepting such an indignity was one thing; enduring it was quite another.

He desperately wanted to strip off this accursed fabric and purify himself with rolls through poisonous swamps. Only through such trials could he absolve himself of this heresy.

And not even the Greater Will knew the transgressions awaiting him in the near future.

The banished sorceress glanced oddly at her unlikely companion, hiding within his robes. Her illusion didn't need to be full-sized—after all, it was an illusion. A tiny version of the sorceress fit snugly in a pocket of his robes, peeking out when necessary.

"You're an odd one…" Sellen remarked, shaking her head as if diagnosing him with something. "Need help using the key?"

The question momentarily caught Konstantin off guard. Standing before the massive magical seal, he was faced with a dilemma: admit he needed help with something or acknowledge his proficiency in the vile art of sorcery.

Of course, he'd already used magic to assist Blaidd. Denying the obvious was pointless.

The mystical casual energy within Konstantin stirred as he raised the key toward the seal. Power surged through him into the key, which served as an identifier, before transferring into the seal. It glowed, acknowledging the pass's legitimacy.

'He's capable,' Sellen's illusion observed with mild curiosity from the safety of his casual garb.

Naturally, a complete novice couldn't have replicated what Konstantin had just done. The Academy didn't tolerate charlatans.

Sellen had to admit she'd underestimated this Tarnished. Who could've guessed that such an oddity would emerge in the timeless Lands Between?

The key vanished from Konstantin's hand. With the stoic expression hidden beneath the head-shaped crown, he strode through the seal. It enveloped him, allowing passage. Sellen's illusion, being an extension of her energy, went unnoticed by the seal.

One of the most talented sorceresses in the Academy's history had quite a few unique… tricks. Naturally, casual tricks.

For a brief moment, the space around Konstantin blurred. When his vision cleared, he found himself on a bridge. Behind him, there were no gates—only another large seal leading back out. It was no wonder astrologers prided themselves on their magical seals, which protected them from the outside world.

Sellen felt a pang of nostalgia. She'd left the Academy long ago and had no plans to return anytime soon. Still, given the circumstances, why not savor the familiar surroundings?

The bridge was unguarded. While they'd passed the seal, they wouldn't truly be inside the Academy until they ascended the massive magical lift. Astrologers valued unobstructed views of the stars above all else. Due to its unique architecture, the Academy could feel like both a labyrinthine dungeon and an otherworldly city.

"A captivating view, isn't it?" Sellen asked softly. "No need to answer—I already know what you're thinking."

She smirked. The warrior's silence, especially from someone who'd felled demigods, was far more eloquent than a thousand words.

What a character.

The false sorcerer made his way to the lift that seemed to be waiting for him and stepped onto it grimly. The floor lit up with magical runes, and they began to ascend. To Konstantin's surprise, he noticed a long staircase in the distance but paid it no mind.

His body was far too powerful and resilient for trivial challenges like climbing to great heights. It wouldn't offer any meaningful difficulty.

As the lift reached the top, a breathtaking view of the Academy unfolded before him. Massive and monumental, it dwarfed anything he'd seen in the game. Everywhere he looked, casual sorcerers went about their business. In the distance, towering magical spires loomed, and the entire place pulsed with casual life.

Kosta had to summon all his willpower not to start rolling through the crowds of sorcerers, many of whom were poised to hurl ranged attacks at a moment's notice.

But they didn't know who they were dealing with. He was ready—ready to roll and block any heretical spell.

He might even fight fire with fire… If they wanted an easy fight so badly, then…

He shuddered, banishing the treacherous thoughts. He'd sworn to resort to such heresies only in the direst circumstances.

"Relax, Konstantin of the Tarnished," Sellen whispered slyly. "You need to keep moving before you draw too much attention…"

Kosta knew the waifu tempting proud Soulslike players to the dark path of casualness was right. Summoning the last remnants of his hardcore resolve, he pressed forward into the depths of the Academy, blending in among the astrologers.

The Academy felt far more alive than Konstantin remembered. It wasn't just because he was surrounded by living beings (and, to be fair, heretical magical puppets), but also because the general atmosphere was much lighter. Laughter echoed through the halls, cheerful whispers carried on the air—it was a strange, carefree… casual.

Too much casualness. He was drowning in it. Where was the tension of a world on the brink of death? Where was the struggle, the hidden despair, and the hope clung to by those not yet broken? They were dishonoring the legacy of the Lands Between!

"They've grown complacent under the seal's protection," Sellen said, her tone dripping with bitter irony. "It's been far too long since I last set foot here…"

She was clearly enjoying her little adventure. Konstantin, on the other hand, remained stoically silent, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on him with every step.

With firm resolve, the man made his way through the Academy's many streets, gradually approaching its heart, guided by Sellen. The architecture, true to the Lands Between, was peculiar and multi-layered. To progress deeper, Konstantin had to traverse buildings with elevators that carried him higher and higher.

To his surprise, Sellen recognized many of the NPCs—people—passing by. This left Konstantin baffled. Most of his interactions had been limited to quest-related characters. Mentions of unfamiliar figures…

Were unsettling.

"Aah, Kelvar... I remember him. He refused my little experiment. What a fool…"

"Ellida? What a surprise. Nature has always been cruel to her, and nothing has changed since our last meeting. What a pity."

"Oh, Gorak! He looks better than I expected. After that puppet experiment, he didn't even look human. Time heals!"

"…Luiza, I think? Yeah, I vaguely remember…"

The stream of names slowly seeped into Konstantin's consciousness. He tried his best to ignore the waifu lost in her memories, but it was proving difficult. Random nobodies were suddenly being dressed in names and backstories that, to put it mildly, he couldn't care less about.

Until now, he hadn't appreciated how sparse Sellen's questline was. He'd thought it was just an oversight. Turns out, the developers were simply being considerate of Soulslike players who chose the path of darkness(2).

No, really. Konstantin had actually appreciated that the Academy was tied to the bare minimum of quests, allowing him to clear the area without second thoughts.

Now, that simplicity was long gone.

The deeper Konstantin delved into the Academy, drawing closer to the Queen's Manor, the fewer sorcerers he encountered. In their place loomed terrifying puppets, and perched atop rooftops were twisted creatures with crudely stitched wings. These abominations couldn't fly for long, but magic allowed them to momentarily bypass physical limitations, giving them a decisive edge in combat.

Slowly but surely, the Academy grew darker, revealing the true face of the Lands Between sorcerers: deranged astrologers who had glimpsed a power beyond mortal comprehension. A path to immortality.

Inhuman researchers who didn't shy away from experiments on the living or the dead. Beneath the laughter of many mages lurked the grim determination common to all who had survived the shattered world of the Lands Between.

Really, the clues were there from the beginning. Many sorcerers inexplicably walked barefoot, their robes frayed and weathered by time. Pale to the point of translucence, gaunt, and malnourished, they exuded a haunting presence. In the eyes of the smiling, seemingly ordinary astrologers gleamed the faint light of madness.

Stagnation and the absence of death had perverted even what was already twisted.

Strangely enough, the more grotesque and ominous the atmosphere became, the better Konstantin's mood grew. The oppressive environment began to feel familiar, almost comforting.

Battle, of course, was inevitable, no matter how much the waifu tried to avoid it. Konstantin had known this from the start. He played along but refused to fully submit.

Most of the journey was behind him now, and for that, he was grateful for the waifu's guidance. All the waifus, really. But he also had his own plans.

Plans, indeed…

"Stop."

Konstantin froze, hearing the stomping of sorcerers' boots behind him. He had clearly attracted unwanted attention.

"I told you to stick to the rooftops!" Sellen hissed.

The Queen's Manor was now within sight, standing apart from the rest of the Academy, towering above everything else.

The Tarnished had long since ascended to a level where ordinary sorcerers rarely ventured. Sellen had advised him to use the rooftops and find an alternative route upward. She could have hidden him from prying eyes. After all, the Academy had its secrets, paths unknown to most, that could lead him to his goal unseen.

The Academy was, after all, like a grotesque, twisted Hogwarts. Of course, it had secret passages!

But emboldened by the growing darkness, Konstantin had ignored the witch's advice, opting to take the standard path and deliberately drawing attention to himself.

Konstantin turned, spotting a group of casual mages approaching him, each wearing the same head-like crown as his own. At the sight of their staves, his instincts screamed to ready his shield and roll.

For all he knew, some sneaky spell was already heading his way.

The men stopped in front of the stoic warrior.

"No ordinary sorcerer may walk here. Identify yourself."

The tiny illusion of Sellen, hidden within the Tarnished's robes, squinted and whispered softly:

"…Tell them you're—"

"Konstantin. Or just Kosta."

Sellen was ready to curse the reckless Tarnished.

'Everything was going so well! So well!'

She detested being ignored. Truly hated it. And what she hated even more was when her carefully laid plans went completely sideways. Why had he sought her help if he never intended to avoid a fight in the first place?

The sorcerers frowned at the unfamiliar name. It was unclear how long they'd been under the seal's influence, but clearly, they'd had plenty of time to study one another.

"Who? Remove your—"

Konstantin grabbed the sorcerers' crowns and smashed them together with a force no human could muster. The crowns shattered, and the frail sorcerers crumpled to the ground.

The sound was deafening, echoing through the halls. Shouts of surprise began to rise, accompanied by the approaching stomps and metallic clatter of the deranged living puppets. Konstantin closed his eyes in bliss, clenching his fists.

"Run, you madman! You can't take them all!" Sellen cried.

Instead of retreating, Konstantin raised his hands, now holding a fire pot. Sellen stared at him, aghast.

"What is that?!"

Due to her tiny size, the witch's voice came out comically high-pitched.

"You'll see."

Konstantin's voice was cold, tinged with wicked amusement, silencing the illusion. And just in time—when the first wave of puppets charged into view, followed closely by sorcerers, he hurled the pot.

In his early days, back when Konstantin was still on the path to becoming a true hardcore player, bombs had been his light at the end of the tunnel. Or, rather, the explosion at the end of the tunnel(3). While he'd later opted to rely less on bombs, he still believed that a good, fiery pot in a casual's face was better than any spell in return.

After all, why else had he farmed all those materials?

Instinctively, Sellen covered her illusory ears. The explosion was far more powerful than Konstantin had anticipated: the puppets were obliterated into a gory mess, sorcerers blown back by the force, and the Academy's windows shattered.

The witch gawked at the destruction before breaking into laughter.

"You lunatic! Run, run before it's too late!"

Konstantin didn't argue. He leaped through a shattered window, landing on the roof of a nearby building.

He had no intention of letting the casuals corner him. Who knew what they might try?

This was just the beginning.

What came next, Sellen could only describe with one word: madness. Pure, unadulterated madness. Not the grotesque kind that repulses, but the absurd, nonsensical kind that evokes unhinged laughter.

She had clearly underestimated the Tarnished who had defeated the weakest demigod.

Most of the puppets had taken positions on the rooftops. The moment they spotted Konstantin, they tried to attack him, but this ended with him pulling out firepots. No one knew where he got them from. No one knew why they were always pre-lit and ready to explode dramatically on impact.

The only thing that mattered was the result.

Boom!

Boom!

Boom!

With every passing minute, more and more explosions echoed through the central Academy. The sorcerers, arriving in ever-increasing numbers to investigate the sounds of this chaotic rampage, whether they wanted to or not, bore witness to a madman—dressed in their robes—annihilating hordes of puppets by pelting them with firepots. These fiery explosives slowly but surely plunged the entire Academy of Raya Lucaria into an ear-splitting pandemonium.

What could surpass magic? The answer was simple: good old-fashioned bombs!

Sellen couldn't help but marvel at the speed and agility of the Tarnished. He darted across the rooftops as if he weighed nothing at all. When spells flew his way, he either dodged them with ease or performed strange yet oddly impressive rolls, rapidly becoming the terror of the Academy.

When a barrage of spells hurtled toward him, he simply raised a shield that appeared out of nowhere, blocking the attacks before it vanished again.

And all of this—every dodge, every attack—was punctuated by his triumphant shout:

"PRAISE THE SUN!"

Streams of grace gathered from all around him. Each puppet and sorcerer obliterated by explosions became another rung on Konstantin's ladder of progress, making him stronger and stronger with every moment.

The Tarnished moved with such precision, such natural grace, that it seemed as though he had evaded sorcerers' spells through hundreds—no, thousands—of deaths before.

It was obvious where Konstantin was headed. And even more obvious that nothing would stop him.

After all, this location wasn't going to clear itself.

From the sidelines, Melina and Ranni watched the spectacle unfold, utterly at a loss for words. It felt like they were witnessing some sort of bizarre comedy, where exhausted mages and their deranged creations failed miserably to catch a lunatic bounding across rooftops with firepots, clearly deriving some strange, maniacal pleasure from the chaos.

The Two Fingers' false maiden finally understood why the man had scoured the Lands Between for so many unusual materials. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that not only could he craft such devastating bombs, but also summon them from whatever incomprehensible space he used, pre-lit and ready to explode.

Did that mean that time froze in this place where the Tarnished sent his items?

What was this terrifying power? It wasn't any ordinary spell! The women would have sensed magic if it were. But they didn't.

The more they learned about Konstantin and his peculiar abilities, the more questions they had—questions they might never find answers to.

The chase continued. At some point, Konstantin seemed to run out of firepots, and his explosive onslaught gave way to frantic dodging as a relentless stream of spells rained down on him.

Unfortunately, there came a moment when the Tarnished had nowhere left to run. He was forced to leap down straight into the arms of the angry sorcerers waiting below.

Honestly, at that moment, Sellen was convinced it was over for him. If they didn't kill him outright, they'd restrain and capture him, eventually turning him into some grotesque puppet, a nightmare beyond the imagination of even the most twisted astrologer.

But Konstantin had his own plans.

Melina felt a sudden urge to scream.

His clothing—every last scrap except for the head-shaped crown—vanished. Sellen, barely clinging to her small illusory form, was caught by a half-naked Konstantin. The bewildered sorcerers, driven mad by the absurdity of the scene, watched as he dodged through the torrent of blue flashes accompanied by the obnoxious, casual ding sound. (4)

Ding, ding, ding, ding…

Unfortunately for the hapless mobs, their panicked dings couldn't overwhelm the rolls of a true hardcore player. Konstantin reached the goal: a Site of Grace.

Sites of Grace were scattered across the Lands Between, guiding the Tarnished. Whether it was the Academy of Raya Lucaria or some obscure cave at the edge of Limgrave, the chances were high that a Site could be found there. Not even the sorcerers could alter this truth.

The instant Konstantin reached the Grace, he stretched out toward it. His half-naked form, clad only in the head-shaped crown, lit up briefly before vanishing in a golden flash. Left behind were the hordes of shocked astrologers.

They didn't yet know it, but in the near future, the Tarnished would be paying them frequent visits.

And though Konstantin himself didn't yet know it, the waifus would soon be giving him an earful, drawing ever closer to his ultimate downfall.

(1) The camera in FromSoftware games doesn't always function as it should. To put it mildly. Legends say that Miyazaki intended this to add an element of surprise and make life just a bit harder for the poor souls playing. And oh, he succeeded brilliantly—players thank him for this mechanic every single day!

(2) This is, of course, subjective, but Sellen's questline doesn't feel remotely complete. The most perplexing part for players is the disco-ball ending, which has spawned countless theories across the internet.

(3) There are precedents for Souls playthroughs using only bombs and pots. In the right hands, particularly hardcore (and possibly insane) players consider these the ultimate weapon against filthy casuals.

(4) When casting a spell, there's a distinct sound effect somewhat reminiscent of a chime.