Elden Ring: The Speedrunner's Guide to the Lands Between.

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Tarnished stretched his arms, rolling his shoulders before turning his gaze toward the rapidly dissolving corpse of the Beastman of Farum Azula. Wisps of white ash scattered into the stale cave air, swirling like dying embers before fading into nothingness. 

His brows furrowed slightly. 'Huh. That's weird… Why the hell did it just… disintegrate?' He stared for a moment longer before shrugging. 'Eh, doesn't really matter.'

With that, he turned on his heel and strode toward the cave's entrance, he stared at the Flamedrake Talisman within in his inventory for a moment before equipping it. He might as well use it, it was better than nothing. 

As he reached the entrance, he settled down at the Grace, resting briefly to restore his flasks before standing once more, reinvigorated.

The dense forest beyond the cave stretched out before him, the quiet rustling of leaves and the distant howling of wolves breaking the silence. He kept his head low, weaving between trees to avoid the patrols of Godrick's soldiers. Their armour clanked softly as they patrolled, unaware of the predator lurking just beyond their sight.

One particular soldier stood directly in his path, gripping a warning horn tightly. Tarnished narrowed his eyes. If that thing so much as touched his lips, the entire goddamn camp would be on his ass. Not happening.

Lowering his stance, he crept through the underbrush, his movements careful and deliberate. The soldier stood oblivious, idly scanning the treeline. Then, in an instant—Tarnished struck.

His uchigatana slid smoothly through the man's neck, the blade severing muscle and artery with practiced precision. A choked gasp escaped the soldier's lips, his fingers twitching as he instinctively reached for the horn—only to be yanked backward into the bushes. 

Tarnished pinned him down and twisted the blade before pulling it free, ensuring the job was finished. The soldier's body stilled, Tarnished removed the uchigatana and wiped his blade clean before exhaling softly, rolling his shoulders. 'Man, I love stealth kills.'

With no further interruptions, he slipped past the forest's edge, stepping into the vast, open plains of Limgrave. 

Ahead of him loomed a familiar sight—The Gatefront Ruins. Crumbling stone walls and broken towers stretched across the landscape, the remains of an ancient stronghold now repurposed as an encampment for Godrick's forces.

Hundreds of soldiers roamed the area, patrolling the pathways, tending to the horses, and standing guard over caravans. Some rested around bonfires, sharpening their blades or sharing quiet conversations. Wolves prowled alongside them, their ears twitching at every movement.

The black haired man's lips curled into a smirk as he observed the massive camp before him, 'Ah… home sweet home.'

Marika materialized beside him, arms crossed, her golden gaze flickering over the scene before them. "Mine champion, surely thou dost not intend to engage them all alone? Mayhaps a more… Subtle approach would suit thee better."

She extended a delicate hand, gesturing toward the gaps in the ruined walls. "See there. Passageways, blind spots. Use them to slip past unnoticed."

Tarnished chuckled, shifting his weight onto one foot as he casually rolled his wrists. "Oh, I know exactly how to get through undetected." His smirk widened. "But… I know an even better way."

Marika arched an elegant brow. "And pray, what reckless foolishness dost thou scheme now?"

Before she could get an answer, a soldier stationed at the watchtower turned his head and spotted him. His eyes widened slightly as he registered the barely-armoured warrior standing casually at the edge of the ruins.

Tarnished took a deep breath and let out a loud shout, "RUN AND DODGE WHILE STEALING EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T NAILED TO THE GROUND!"

He then sprinted forward at full speed.

The soldier stared blankly for a solid three seconds before scrambling to ring the alarm. "INTRUDER!"

The camp erupted into chaos. Soldiers leapt to their feet, wolves snarled as they rushed forward, and the air was filled with the clanking of drawn steel.

Marika just stood back and watched on, utterly dumbfounded.

Tarnished dodged past the first soldier who swung at him, expertly rolling under the blade before immediately jumping over a wolf that lunged at his legs. His momentum carried him forward, weaving through the mass of enemies like a blur.

A few arrows whizzed past his head as he spotted his first target—an underground staircase leading to a small basement.

A soldier stood at the entrance, spear at the ready.

Tarnished didn't even slow down. He rolled past the incoming stab and shoved the poor bastard down the stairs, leaping over him and into the basement. He kicked open a chest and snatched up the contents inside.

[Acquired: Ash of War – Storm Stomp]

[Acquired: Whetstone Knife]

No time to linger.

He bolted back up the stairs. The soldier he'd shoved was groaning, trying to push himself up—Tarnished jumped over him.

Another wolf lunged at him the moment he exited, but he simply stepped on its head mid-air, using it as a springboard to keep moving.

Soldiers shouted all around him as he made a beeline for the caravans.

Two of them rushed him, swords raised.

Without breaking stride, he unsheathed his uchigatana and—stabbed both of them at once.

Crippling them in a single strike, he rushed past their staggering bodies and threw open the massive chest at the back of the caravan.

[Acquired: Flail]

Marika's voice finally snapped out of her stunned silence. "Watch thy side-!"

"I KNOW!"

He jumped, causing the pair of soldiers swinging at his flank to miss entirely as he leapt over them, landing smoothly before making a mad dash toward the map post.

The camp's head knight—a towering figure wielding a massive spear—stepped into his path but Tarnished didn't even acknowledge him. Rolling beneath a thrust, he snatched the map fragment from the post mid-sprint.

[Acquired: Map of Limgrave]

With an entire horde of furious soldiers, wolves, and a very pissed-off knight at his back, Tarnished burst into laughter mid-run.

"BAHAHA! Hey, Marika! If I sit at a Grace, they'll reset, right?"

"Nay, fool! My Grace shall not embrace thee whilst foes remain near!"

"...Figures."

Instead of heading straight for the Grace, he veered off, his eyes scanning the terrain. A rock.

Perfect.

His legs coiled like springs before he jumped. He landed on the rock, then leapt to the ruins' outer wall. The soldiers below screamed obscenities, trying to chase after him—but he was already gone, jumping from ledge to ledge until he cleared the ruins entirely.

Diving into the nearby forest, he ducked into the same cave he had hidden in earlier, pressing himself against the damp stone.

The soldiers fanned out, searching… But none ventured into the cave.

A few moments passed before the last of them finally gave up.

Silence.

Tarnished let out a shaky laugh, his heart pounding in his chest. He slid down the wall, wiping sweat from his brow. "Hah… That was awesome…"

A golden shimmer materialized before him, Marika appearing with her arms folded beneath her voluptuous bosom, lips curled in a wry smile. "Hast thou finally tired of thy madness?"

The Tarnished let out a breathless chuckle, his eyes still gleaming with exhilaration. "Nope."

Marika sighed, shaking her head in amusement. "At the very least, I see now that thou art no craven."

Tarnished was silent for a moment, his head tilting slightly as he gave Marika a confused glance. "Craven? The hell does that mean?"

Marika blinked at him, her golden eyes momentarily losing their usual sharpness. Then, with a soft hum, she explained, "A word of mine own tongue, meaning 'coward' in thy vulgar speech."

"Oh… Neat."

With that, he turned away and made his way out of the cave, stepping back into the dim light of the early morning. The air was cool, the scent of damp earth lingering as he stretched slightly, rolling his shoulders to loosen the tension in his muscles. His body was still adjusting to this world, but each passing moment made it feel more and more like his own.

His azure-blue eyes—still faintly glowing gold from Marika's Grace—scanned his surroundings, quickly locking onto the Site of Grace he had spotted earlier but had been unable to use. This time, he took a longer route around the entire Godrick encampment, making sure to avoid detection. 

A few minutes later, he reached the Grace and stretched a hand toward it, feeling the golden energy respond to his presence.

[Lost Grace Discovered]

He sighed and sat down, allowing himself a brief moment of rest.

Then, an odd sensation filled the air. A gentle shimmer of azure light flickered beside him, followed by the faint sound of footsteps. A moment later, a woman in a dark tattered cloak materialized from the magic, her presence serene yet commanding.

"Greetings, traveller from beyond the fog." she spoke, her voice smooth and deliberate as she pulled back the hood of her cloak to reveal her face.

Tarnished had seen her before—countless times in his previous life, through a screen—but it was different seeing her like this, right in front of him. 

Melina was a young woman with short, tousled brown hair, her right eye a striking shade of turquoise while the left remained closed, a black marking running down her cheek. Her expression was calm, composed, yet carried the faintest trace of something melancholic beneath her practiced neutrality.

"I am Melina. And I offer you an accord."

Tarnished smiled at her and gestured for her to sit. "Go ahead, I'll hear you out."

She gave a small nod and lowered herself onto the ground, sitting opposite him with effortless grace.

"Have you heard of the Finger Maidens?" She began, folding her hands in her lap. "They serve the Two Fingers, offering guidance, and aid to the Tarnished."

Tarnished gave a small nod, already knowing where this conversation was going.

"But you, I am afraid, are Maidenless."

His expression froze as a sharp snort echoed in his mind. Marika was barely holding back her laughter. He could practically feel her shaking with silent amusement.

'Don't you fucking dare…' He growled in his thoughts, but that only made it worse.

Melina, completely unaware of his internal struggle, continued speaking. "However, I can play the role of Maiden; turning runes into strength, to aid you in your search for the Elden Ring. You need only take me with you to the foot of the Erdtree."

Tarnished exhaled, pushing down his irritation. He wasn't going to let the M-word ruin this moment for him. He offered her a small smile. "Sounds good to me."

"Then it's settled," Melina said with a small, satisfied nod. "You may summon me by grace to turn runes into strength."

She paused for a moment, as if remembering something, then reached into her robe. "Ahh… Another matter."

She withdrew a small, golden ring and gently placed it in his hand.

[Gained: Spectral Steed Whistle]

A soft chime accompanied the notification as Tarnished glanced down at the small trinket.

"Use it to traverse great distances." Melina explained. "It will summon a spectral steed named Torrent. Torrent has chosen you, treat him with respect."

Tarnished chuckled as he slipped the ring onto his left index finger. "Of course, I will. Who do you think I am?"

Melina remained unphased by his casual tone. "It is merely a precaution." she replied before shifting her gaze back to him. "Since I am now your Maiden, should you not introduce yourself as well?"

Tarnished instinctively opened his mouth to answer, only to stop when no words came out.

A notification flashed in his vision.

[ERROR: NAME NOT FOUND]

[Correction: Your name is "John Elden Ring"]

A barely contained "Pfft-" echoed in his head.

Tarnished's eye twitched violently as he clenched his fists. His body trembled in barely restrained rage as Marika, his ever-so-divine 'System Administrator,' was dying of laughter in his mind.

'You… Absolute son of a bitch, Helios.'

Melina tilted her head slightly. "Are you alright?"

He quickly exhaled through his nose, forcing a strained smile. "Yeah… Just a little amnesia. Can't remember my name."

Melina hummed in understanding, her expression remaining neutral. "That is unfortunate. Until you recall it, I shall simply call you Tarnished."

"Y-Yeah… Good call…" He muttered, twitching lips betraying his exasperation.

Melina nodded, seeming satisfied with that answer. "Now then, would you like to use your runes and turn them into strength?"

Tarnished thought about it for a second, but ultimately shook his head. "Hmm.. Nah. Not yet."

"Very well." She accepted. "Whenever you wish, you may call upon me at any Grace."

Tarnished gave a small nod, and Melina brought her hands together, forming a golden Order incantation. A soft hum filled the air as threads of radiant light coalesced between her fingertips, before shooting forward in a gentle arc. 

A golden tether surged into his chest, warmth spreading through his core as the magical bond between them solidified. The light faded, leaving behind a faint, lingering sensation within him. She studied him for a moment, then gave a final nod before rising gracefully to her feet. 

"Farewell for now. I shall observe and await your call."

Tarnished smirked slightly, tilting his head and resting it on one hand as he regarded her. "Stay safe, yeah? I'd hate to see such a pretty face get hurt."

Melina blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the comment, a crimson blush lighting up her face for a moment. Her turquoise eye widened just slightly before she schooled her expression back into neutrality though a faint pink dusted her cheeks. 

"…T-There is no need for concern. I am more than capable of protecting myself."

Before he could tease her further, azure sparks shimmered around her form, and in the next instant, she was gone—vanishing like mist in the wind.

Tarnished let out a small chuckle, shaking his head before turning his attention to the ring in his palm. He slipped it onto his left index finger, feeling the weight settle comfortably.

Just then, Marika materialized beside him, arms folded, a self-satisfied smirk on her lips as she regarded him with an almost predatory amusement.

"Thou dost seem to have taken quite the liking to mine daughter."

Tarnished blinked, arching an eyebrow as he turned to her. "Melina's your daughter?"

"Indeed. One of mine eldest." Marika affirmed, her tone shifting slightly. "Though she suffered a misfortune in her youth… Her own flames nearly consumed her, and her corporeal form was lost. 'Twas by mine hand that she regained her ability to manifest."

She frowned slightly, her golden eyes narrowing in thought. "Yet, she knoweth not of her own divine blood… Curious. Something must have suppressed it."

Tarnished was silent, processing that information. "…Damn, lady. Why do all your kids have the worst luck?"

Marika scoffed. "Hmph. Dost thou think ruling a world as its God-Queen is an easy task? I have been imprisoned for countless millennia—mine hands cannot hold all."

He shrugged with a smirk. "Fair. Still, at least I can see where Melina gets her looks from."

Marika tilted her head slightly, her lips curving into an amused smile. "My my~! Thou just had mine daughter kneel before thee as thine maiden, and now thou seeketh to claim her mother as well? Greedy, art thou not~?"

Tarnished turned away, stretching his arms as he began walking forward. "I'm just a man who knows what he wants. Not afraid to chase it, either."

Marika's gaze followed him as he walked, her smirk deepening. Then, with a teasing hum, she leaned forward, one hand resting at her hip, pushing her divine curves into full display. "Then if thou truly desirest me, mine champion… Prove thy worth. Collect the shards of mine Elden Ring, and set me free."

Tarnished chuckled, throwing a glance over his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. I'm getting to it. But first…"

His smirk widened, "I've got an old friend to visit. And after that… It's time to take a little day trip to Caelid."

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Author's Note:

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Next Chapter Title: Don't Go Hollow, Friend.

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