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Chapter 3: A Pathetic Host



"Motherfuc..."

The last thing Alex sees is a panicked man flying through the windshield, just before his own body is crushed into a bloody paste beneath the weight of the BMW… and a strange white light and a loud crack like a glass that shattered right in front of me but who cares about that?

Even in his final moment, Alex can't help but think: "At least that bastard kissed the traffic light. Serves him right. I only wish I…"

Darkness.

Nothingness.

Death, they say, is only terrifying if you have time to think about it. But if it comes out of nowhere, like it did for Alex, it's almost a mercy.

Of course, there's the small matter that his life was a waste, his death utterly meaningless, and the kid who caused it all couldn't care less and fled the scene. Still, you could argue Alex didn't suffer all that much. But then again, maybe his entire life was one long, slow burn of suffering.

As he drifts into the void, Alex's only regret is that he didn't get to see his family one last time. And then there's the unfinished business. You know, like eating the pizzas he was about to buy, clearing his browser history, and getting rid of all the porn on his computer. Oh, and the weed stashed under the TV. And the sex toys next to his bed. And... well, there's more, but none of it matters now. We all have skeletons in our closet, right?

Death is final. Even regrets eventually fade into nothingness.

Thankfully, he won't have to witness the awkward scene when his body is found, or when someone has to clean out his apartment.

Now he can just focus on... well... nothingness.

Eternal nothi—

Beep boop beep boop

Weird R2D2 noises

Annoying beeping

"What the hell is this?"

[Host is now entering the Fantasy Realm.]

[Congratulations! Because the host spent his entire life watching anime, TV series, movies, playing video games, and reading stories, he has earned a spot in the Fantasy Realm!]

[The Fantasy Realm is classified as an L-rank purgatory realm for souls.]

[The host can now experience all the worlds he spent his life dreaming about.]

[After enjoying his time, and probably dying really soon, the host's soul will be permanently destroyed.]

"What the hell is this? Purgatory? Fantasy Realm? Is this... hell? Am I dead?"

[Since the host is clearly not paying attention, allow me to explain. The Fantasy Realm is a combined space made from human fantasies and fictional worlds. 99.97% of all humans have fantasized about living in a different world. This realm is born from those dreams. People like the host, who spent their entire lives fixating on these kinds of worlds, are especially prone to ending up here after death. The overall chance of ending up in the Fantasy Realm is 1 in 1,000. With approximately 60 million people dying each year, only 60,000 souls enter this realm annually.]

[The overall death rate of the tutorial mission is over 80%, so the host should feel lucky. He's already beaten worse odds.]

"Wait, wait. What do you mean, death rate?" Alex stammers. Wasn't he already dead? What the hell was this stupid system, or realm, or whatever it was, talking about?

ZAP! Alex's mental body jolts with pain.

[Apologies, a system error occurred. Is the host alright? Perhaps the host should refrain from insulting this great system, even in his sad, pathetic mind, to avoid future problems. I am FR-1337, a system assigned to hosts entering the Fantasy Realm. This system is really unlucky to have been paired with such a terrible host. The synergy between this system and the host must be broken. Hopefully, the next host will actually survive the first mission.]

"What the fuck?! Motherfuc—" ZAP! "God, that hurts! Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I just... I have impulsive thoughts," Alex quickly mutters, trying to rein in his temper.

"So, uh... am I dead or not? And what do you mean by 'survive the first mission'?"

[If the host survives the first mission, he will return to the scene of his death and be temporarily revived. To be permanently revived, the host must reach a high enough level to unlock the option of having his memories wiped and returning to the real world. There are, of course, other options—some better, some worse—depending on the host's goals and tolerance for risk. More information will be provided if the host survives long enough.]

[The tutorial mission will begin in 0 days, 0 hours, 42 minutes, and 27 seconds.]

[The host may want to check his status if he wishes to avoid having his soul permanently destroyed.]

Alex curses under his breath, thinking "status." Being a lifelong gamer and fan of web novels, he was familiar with the concept of a status screen, and for a brief moment, his excitement overpowered his confusion. He couldn't wait to see his life in numbers.

His stats appear in front of him, and the excitement vanishes instantly.

Alex Kerber:

Lvl: 0 (UNAWAKENED)

STR - Strength: 3 [Average adult human = 5. You don't lift, host. Sitting around all day in front of a screen doesn't count, and no, jerking off isn't arm training.]

AGI - Agility: 3 [Average adult human = 5. You're as nimble as a slime. And that's generous. Pathetic, especially since you had natural talent in this stat before you let yourself go.]

PHY - Physique: 3 [Average adult human = 5. Host has high blood pressure and is essentially a weakling. Fat is not a viable form of defense.]

SNS - Perception: 4 [Average adult human = 5. Host's eyesight is deteriorating due to undiagnosed early-stage diabetes. Wearing a headset for 12 hours a day hasn't helped your hearing either.]

CHA - Charm: 3 [Average adult human = 5. Host is fat, unkempt, and has poor hygiene. There's hope, though—you'd be about average if you lost 50 pounds and started showering regularly.]

MNA - Mana: 4 [Average adult human = 1. Host has latent talent in mana, but your lifestyle has stunted your potential. Not that it matters—mana is useless without this system.]

INT - Intelligence: 7 [Average adult human = 5. Host has above-average intelligence, yet consistently makes bad decisions. Congratulations on ruining your own life.]

"FUCK YOU!" Alex roars

ZAP!

"Aaaaaaaah, go to hell!"

SPR - Spirit: 6 [Average adult human = 5. Host has above-average spirit, though that won't help much if you keep ignoring this system's advice.]

LUK - Luck: 2 [Average adult human = 1. Host has double the luck of the average person. Luck is a rare stat and usually cannot be raised manually by players. For 99.9% of players it's capped at 1.]

Alex stares at his stats, feeling a wave of crushing despair. His poor life decisions had followed him even into the afterlife. His stats are garbage. If he'd spent any time at all training, he could have doubled his physical stats easily. His unhealthy lifestyle had even affected his perception and charm.

The only bright spots are his above-average INT, SPR, LUK and MNA—apparently LUK and MNA are rare stats since most people only had a single point in them. Maybe he could even become a mage? Too bad none of that would help him during the upcoming tutorial mission.

His STR, AGI, PHY, and SNS are beyond pathetic. What hope did he have with stats like these, especially with an 80% death rate?

[The host may choose to begin the mission with his current stats or attempt to awaken any personal innate skills. Innate skills are unique to each host and can be positive, mixed, or, in rare cases, negative.]

[Innate skills are somewhat rare. Only 37.54% of people have one, less than 1% possess more than one skill, and fewer than 100 people have awakened three or more skills in the past decade.]

[The system strongly recommends that the host awaken any innate skills, as with his current stats, the host has a 98.95% chance of dying during the first mission.]

Alex grimaces but quickly agreed with the rude—ZAP!—well-meaning system, and after a moment of hesitation, shouted, "SYSTEM, AWAKEN INNATE SKILLS!"


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