Chapter 321: [321] I'm Leaving Early Today!
Early morning, dawn's light spread across the land.
[And now, today's unluckiest star sign is…]
[So sorry, but it's you, dear Cancer! Seems like nothing will go your way today, huh? If you don't have anything important to do, it's best to stay home. Your lucky color is sky blue, and your lucky item is a red magic wand…]
Click!
The TV screen went dark as the remote's power button was pressed, reflecting the face of a girl brushing her teeth, hair messily sticking out.
"Mmm mmm mmm…"
After washing up and finishing breakfast, Illya headed off to elementary school like usual.
"Seriously though—no one even asked, but they had to announce at the crack of dawn that I'd be the unluckiest one today. Don't you think that's kinda rude?"
On the way to school, Illya complained about the fortune-telling she saw on the morning show.
"Ufufufu~ Well, no need to believe in those silly horoscopes." Ruby poked her head out from Illya's school bag. "Illya! Allow me to deliver you a much more reliable prophecy!"
With her twin antennae extended, two sacred charms popped up on Ruby's forehead, swaying in the breeze.
"Secret Device No.18! Instant Future Forecast!"
"It analyzes changes in events and uses statistical data to predict the near future! Way more accurate than any TV fortune-telling~"
Illya, entirely unaware of the advanced magecraft and science behind those words, just felt like this increasingly shady magic wand was becoming a liability.
"Uh… are you really a magic wand?"
"Oh! Here we go, first prediction!"
Ignoring her master's doubts, Ruby's antennae twitched ominously, and with a strange sound effect, a small slip of paper shot out. Illya caught it.
[Watch your head.]
Thud!
A gust of ominous wind hit Illya's face as she read the slip—a flower pot crashed down in front of her, so close it brushed her bangs.
"Eh! What the heck? Where did that even fall from?!"
She was walking along a regular street, the houses were all set back with gardens—no tall buildings around for something to fall from.
Had she not stopped to read the note and taken just one more step, that giant flower pot would've smashed right onto her head.
"Yep yep, a textbook case of a 'mysterious falling object miracle' phenomenon~"
"D-Don't say that, it's creepy! You didn't do this on purpose to scare me, did you?!"
"No no, I'd never~"
Ruby, being her usual troublemaking self, teased on while Illya quickened her pace. But just then, another ominous sound effect rang out.
"Oh, next forecast's here."
"…Eh?"
[Watch out for vehicles.]
Ruby read off the new slip.
As if summoned by her words, a runaway heavy dump truck barreled out from a side street and crashed spectacularly into a wall.
BOOM!
The sheer force knocked Illya right onto her backside, leaving her gaping at the mess.
"Ah… an unmanned construction truck…" Ruby commented like it was nothing.
And at this point, Illya had had enough. She bolted like a scared rabbit.
Amusingly, even though she was clearly aware of the danger, this little Japanese schoolgirl never turned back and continued heading for school like it was fate.
"What what what is going on!?"
"Next one's here~" Ruby announced without missing a beat.
[Watch out for savage dogs.]
Somehow, a pack of starving, rabid dogs had appeared behind her, eyes glowing green, chasing after what they saw as a delicious little snack.
When did they even show up?! I didn't see a thing!
"This is beyond ridiculous! And why hasn't the alarm stopped ringing since earlier?!"
"Well, that's what this machine's for."
"I'm doomed—!!"
Illya screamed as her personal nightmare tour continued.
[Watch out for fireworks.]
Boom!
A warehouse exploded, flames shooting into the sky.
[Watch out for getting drenched.]
Gush!
A manhole spewed a geyser of water, soaking Illya from head to toe.
[Watch out for electric shocks.]
Zap!
A combination of water and electric discharge created a chain reaction of elemental damage.
***
At the front gate of Homurahara Private Elementary School, Miyu quietly bowed as the Edelfelt family's old butler drove away.
"M-Miyu…" came a frail voice. Miyu turned instinctively and saw her good friend — clinging to a mop, her clothes in tatters, tears in the corners of her eyes.
"Il… Illya?! What happened to you?!"
"Morning. And also… Goodbye."
With those words, Illya—who had just survived rampaging dogs, vehicle crashes, and being immune to fire, water, and bullets—collapsed to the ground, eyes peacefully closed.
"Illya?! Illya!"
In the Infirmary
"No major injuries—just a few scrapes."
When Illya opened her eyes, she saw a silver-haired woman in a frilly, disheveled white coat who barely passed for a doctor, chatting with Miyu.
"How dull. Next time you show up here, at least be half-dead, or missing a limb or two. Maybe twist your neck around a couple times."
"Eh… Eh?"
"Don't be surprised. That woman's always like this. Honestly, you'd get better care from the first aid kit."
Turning her head, Illya saw a familiar face she hadn't seen in a while.
A boy with white, messy hair, golden eyes, and an unimpressed look in his dull magi's robes, reading some unknown book.
"Sakatsuki-oniichan! Wait—if you're here, then that must mean…"
"That's his assistant," Miyu whispered. "I've seen her before."
Meaning… there wasn't a real doctor in this infirmary at all.
Illya made a cat-like frown. But, well, at least it was full of familiar faces, so she could talk openly with Miyu.
"Illya, are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine. These are just little scratches, no big deal."
"Ah—no, I meant… from yesterday. Did your body feel weird at all?"
At that, Illya suddenly remembered.
"Oh… what was that, anyway? It wasn't a hallucination."
That girl who appeared out of nowhere, looking exactly like her—and then vanished just as suddenly.
"We still can't say for sure. Even if she looked like you, whether she's the same inside is…" Miyu trailed off, recalling the incident.
Why had that Archer-class Card done that when it struck Illya in the chest? What secret was Illya hiding?
Unable to come up with an answer, Miyu turned to the two from the church.
"Sakatsuki-oniichan, Miss Caren—what do you two think?"
"Well, it's certainly a bizarre situation," Caren dodged the question.
Sakatsuki, the mastermind, smirked. "Before worrying about that, shouldn't we focus on fixing the current situation? A cosplay girl who looks exactly like Illya is still wandering around freely, you know?"
At those words, Illya froze, her eyes wide in horror, clutching her head.
"Oh nooooo!!! If anyone sees her, I'll never clear my name, even if I jump in the river!"
After a brief breakdown, Illya suddenly had a thought and sat up.
"Wait—maybe I should just ask Sakatsuki-oniichan to help find—"
Thunk!
A sinister chill ran down her back as a soccer ball came flying like a mortar round, striking the pillow next to her head, then bouncing back up, spinning violently, and finally bursting, plastering a piece of deflated ball skin right onto her face.
Illya froze in place, arms limp at her sides.
In the middle of broad daylight, her hands and feet went ice-cold. This world was hopeless. Hell was empty, and all the devils were here.
Sakatsuki grinned, silently giving Illya an imaginary full martial arts combo in his mind.
"Il-Illya?!" Miyu looked on in concern.
"Ah'm gomma weev early today…" Illya slurred from under the soccer ball skin.
***
Hey readers!
Want to read ahead? 📖 Join my Patreon for early access to 30+ advance chapters! Your support helps me write more and bring the story to you faster.
🔹patreon.com/aarvan🔹