Fate Stay Night - Medea Caster route

He was watching the black sun that was up in the night sky. 

The same sun that gushed that black mud that destroyed the city. 

He turned around to watch his surroundings. 

Everything was on fire. 

The buildings were collapsing. 

The air and smoke around him were so hot that it burned his lungs and his throat for every breath that he took. 

The smell of burned human meat filled the air. 

He could only hear screams, pleas, and cries, they were so strong that his ears bleed. 

They were calling him, they were praying, begging and pleading for his help, but he ignored them. 

He saw them dying one by one, as he could hear them cursing him moments before they died. 

He didn't know anymore who those people were...strangers? friends? parents? 

He did not care, he had to leave, that mud was getting closer with a steady pace. 

The thing was still far away from him, but somehow it burned him... It burned him inside, and that pain was terrible. 

He wanted to cry and scream in pain... but he could only keep moving forward. 

But no matter how fast he tried to crawl, the mud was reaching him. 

He had to hide if he wanted to live. 

He didn't want to die like the others. 

He didn't want to die like his friends. 

He didn't want to die like his family. 

He didn't want to die. 

But the more he moved the more he was getting weaker. 

His arms and legs felt heavier and heavier with every movement that he did. 

As he crawled he started to cry, he didn't want to die, he didn't want to diel 

But despite that he knew that soon he would soon reach his limit, he knew that soon he would collapse.... 

But the only thing that collapsed at that moment was a building near him. 

After sometime Shirou recovered his senses, but he could not open his eyes. 

Somehow he had survived until that moment, but now his body had been in part crushed and now he was stuck. 

He could feel the pain, he could feel that many of his bones were snapped in half or outright shredded because of the heavy rubbles of the building that fell on him and destroyed his frail body. 

His body was somehow also burned both inside and out, he could feel every organ burning... but luckily that pain, the terrible pain that burned him inside earlier, now had disappeared. 

Now he could only hear the sound of the fire, everything else was silent... everything was dead. 

He didn't want to die. 

He wanted to cry and beg for help, but his throat and his mouth have been burned.

The only thing that got out of his mouth was nothing more but some cough of blood and some smoke. 

Haw stupid. 

How selfish. 

How hypocritical. 

How did it come to his mind? 

How could he ask to be saved when he left everyone to die? 

How selfish could he be? 

Why should he be the one to be saved? 

Maybe if he helped someone he wouldn't be stuck in that situation. 

Maybe if he saved someone that asked for his help, that person would have saved him now. 

...But if he deserved it or not he did not care. 

He simply didn't want to die, he wanted to live. 

At that point, be managed to open his eyes and now he was watching the sky. 

He reached his hand toward the sky, hoping someone to save him, hoping anything to happen.... 

And right before he lost all of his strengths in his arm and he could lose all of his hopes... 

...someone took his hand. 

Cater was now cleaning Shirou's sweaty forehead with a cloth. 

She didn't know what to think anymore, she was too shocked to think straight, but she was sure that she just saw Hell on earth. 

"You were just a child Shirou, it's not your fault. Caster whispered with a gentle tone to the sleeping Shirou. 

Caster had just seen what really happened to the boy, she saw the very first thing that he remembered, and she was shocked. She could not belleve that he had assisted and survived to a disaster of such dimension... 

As she reflected on what she had seen Caster began to feel very guilty. 

How did she come up with the idea of using him? This poor child not only had saved her, he even treated her gently and with respect even knowing who she was... and yet until now she wanted to exploit his generosity and his desire to help others to use him for the war. Even if she was grateful to him she STILL saw him as just an object that would help her to reach her goal... Even if he showed her kindness she just saw him as some kind of puppet.... 

If she could only know... she had no idea what had really happened to him... 

No, actually, she knew that Shirou had survived a catastrophe, but what she saw was way worse than what she expected. 

She was now asking herself how Shirou managed to survive that long despite the wounds, the horrendous pain... and that horror. 

"What was that thing? Caster then asked to herself as she recalled that black sun. 

She started to think and she quickly concluded that somehow the Holy Grail was involved with that event since it happened 10 years ago, and something of a scale like that could only happen thanks to something as powerful as the Grail. 

Just like she had first thought, the Grall seemed far too convenient and good to be true. 

It seemed that she had to pay a visit to the temple or the church, or wherever the Grail resided, but she would do it in the mornin. First, she had to dispatch her familiars and then wait for Shirou to awake since she would not leave him alone any time soon. 

She had to speak with him since she knew that Shirou had a high opinion of her, so she will exploit that in her favor.

Right now she started to fear for the boy's life because she now knew that what Shirou had was not a simple hero complex, not a simple trauma, not simple survivor guilt, but something worse... something far worse. 

It was now morning but Shirou strangely woke up later than usual, normally when he had that dream he would always wake up in the middle of the night completely full of sweat, but now he was dry and completely calm. 

"How strange... He thought as he tuched his forehead. 

Shirou got up and went to the bathroom, after doing everything he got dressed and started to walk toward the kitchen, but at that moment he smelled something strange... something was burning 

He ran toward the kitchen, where he smelled the thing burning, and when he reached the living-room to his great surprise he saw... Caster trying to cook? 

"Good morning Caster, do you need any help? Shirou asked a bit puzzled. 

Caster flinched and turned toward Shirou. 

"Oh! Good morning Shirou... well, I saw you were still sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up, so I thought I'd make breakfast myself but..." 

After saying that she looked at the "fried egg" she was cooking. 

How the hell did it catch fire? Caster thought panicked. 

Shirou sighed at the sight of the panicked Caster. 

"Thank you, Caster, but you didn't have to worry about it... anyway did something happened tonight?" He asked before he started to rub his left eye and got closer to her, 

Caster suddenly tumed her back to him before saying: "No, nothing happened, everything is alright... anyway, do you mind helping me a bit here?" 

"Sure, but... you know how to cook, right?" Shirou asked as soon he saw the black thing that Caster was trying to cook. 

*..." Caster said nothing. 

*30 minutes later 

Caster was sitting at the table and she was a bit ashamed, she wanted to make breakfast but in the end she only made a mess. 

"How did the eggs catch fire? She still asked herself. She literally had just started to fry the egg but somehow it immediately caught fire. 

In the meantime Shirou had just finished making breakfast and put the plates on the table and then he sat down. 

"What are today's plans?" Shirou asked. 

"After breakfast I will Improve your magical circuits, immediately after I will 'personally' go to the temple to investigate something strange that I have noticed..." 

"Something strange? You said that nothing happened tonight, and what was that 'personally'?" Shirou asked. 

"Indeed nothing happened, but only tonight I discovered something... strange, and I think that should be at the temple. Anyway, about your other question, thanks to my magic I will be able to investigate at the temple while 1 remain here, it's really simple." 

Shirou started to get a bit confused at Caster's words and said: "Simple? Huh, your magic really is incredible." 

"Remember Shirou, all the magic I know I leamed directly from Hecate herself, the goddess of magic. My spells are on a plane of existence higher than those of any modem mage, things like this for someone like myself are indeed simple. She said with an air of superiority. 

"Huh, and yet she doesn't know how to fry eggs. Shirou thought.. 

"Anyway, after I will improve your magic circuits I forbid you to use any magic or even activate your own circuits for at least a day. I will not accept a 'no' as an answer." Caster then told him bluntly. 

"But how will I train today? I should be able to train at least in the afterno 

"Shirou, please listen to me. Today you will have to rest, if you want to get stronger you have to rest so that your body will be able to recover and acquire new strength, from the day we have met you trained every single day..." 

'I should already have noticed Shirou's self-destructive behavior, he always trained despite the daily Intense sessions, this was just one of the many signs. How could I have been so blind?' Caster thought. Even if Shirou trained every single day she had paid no mind, she saw that thanks to the Fae artifact regenerative ability Shirou was able to train intensely every day without any real consequence, so she had let him train as much as he wanted.

"...and alse you have forgotten that after I will improve your circuits you will automatically become stronger, you will be able to use and store more mana than ever before, so today you will have just to rest." She told him simply. 

"...If it is just for today... Shirou then relented, 

Thank you, Shirou." Caster sald with a gentle smile. 

After seeing Caster smiling Shirou blushed a bit, sometimes he forgot how beautiful Caster was. 

"Now let's just finish our breakfast so that we can start soon as possible." Caster continued. 

Shirou simply nodded as he turned on the TV, he wanted to know if the police somehow had made some kind of progress with the investigation about the missing people. 

[...and we have been informed that the police have classified the 2 missing persons as runaways. Now we will proceed with the news on the weather.... 

"...What?" Shirou muttered. 

"Shirou, do you remember that this is a secret war between mages?" Caster asked as soon she saw his expression of disbelief. 

"Yes, why do you Shirou stopped talking, and after a long moment, he frowned. "No, it can't be... They are not hiding everything on purpose, right?)...But... But what it will be of their families? Did they do something even to them?1" 

"Shirou, I have already told you that modem mages are willing to do everything to reach their goal, you should nat expect anything else from them." After she spoke Caster could see Shirou clenching his fist and his teeth. 

Those damn monsters Shirou sanpped as he he stood up. "How dare they treat those innocents like this! I CAN'T LET THEM-1 

"Sleep" Sald Caster while she made a little movement with her finger. 

...Just a moment ago Shirou was furious, but strangely now his eyes felt heavy... after some moments Shirou sat down and rested his head on the table before he fell asleep. 

Caster started to massage her left temple and sighed. She really disliked the thought to use magic on Shirou even the first day they met, and now the making the boy falling asleep had left a very bitter taste in her mouth, but she still had to do it, it was 

for his own good, Now that she was mentally connected to him she knew about his mentality and his way of thinking she was sure that Shirou would have started to recklessly try to find the person responsible for the so-called 'kidnaps', but she would never let him do it. 

She now knew that Shirou was... distorted. That same night she had opted to resolve the problem from the root by using some magic to change his memories, but if she tried to do so Shirou would literally change as a person. 

Shirou was like that because of that cataclysm. The trauma of that hell formed him into the boy that he was now, it formed him into the boy that didn't care for his life anymore. Caster was more than sure that Shirou could and would throw his life away to save a simple bystander if his life was in danger.... 

Just at the thought Caster shivered, how could someone like him value his own life so little? 

Medea could be described in many ways, like a witch, a manipulator, a llar, a murderer, an Infanticide, a blasphemer, or as a horrible person just to generalize, but she surely was not an ungrateful person. 

Shirou saved her life and offered his help to her, so now she would naturally repay the favor. Since she could not change him or his mentality, without doing an irreversible change, she had just to make sure that he will not get himself killed or throw his life away, no matter how.... 

After 5 minutes Shirou woke up, he was now lying down on the floor and at his side there was Caster. 

"...What happened?" He asked confused as he started to recover his senses. 

"Oh, you finally wake upi Shirou, do you know that you made me worry a lot?" Caster said with with a mix of worry and anger. 

"You were worried? Shirou asked confused. "...Walt, did I faint?" Asked Shirou as he started to get up. 

"Yes you did Shiroul Just as I was telling you, your body needs more resti It seems that yesterday you pushed yourself too much and you did not even realize it... what do I have to do with you?" She asked him, again, with a worried tone. 

S-Sorry, I-I didn't want to make you worry... p-please forgive me." Shirou daid as he looked down, in that moment he had no idea how to answer her. That morning when he woke up he felt pretty good... was very strange that he had suddenly fainted. " 

"Huh, right now he asking forgiveness because he doesn't want me to be concerned for him. Caster realized as she carefully observed Shirou, 

After a moment of silence Caster spoke again and sald: "Ok I will forgive you, but at one condition... She said as she raised one finger. 

"Sure, tell me everything that you want. Shirou sald determined to be forgiven by Caster.

"Never again you will push yourself that hard when training. I know I'm asking you much, but please do it for me Shirou, you are making me worry." Caster told him while watching him directly into his eyes, with a worried look. 

As he watched Caster in the eyes Shirou could not bring himself to refuse Caster's request. 

"Ok... and I'm sorry... from now on I will be more careful." He sald before he watched the ground. 

"You don't have to worry Shirou, I've already told you that I have forgiven you. Now that you are awake finish your breakfast and then come to the tool-shed, I will wait for you there." Caster before getting up and leaving the room. 

Caster was now into the toolshed, waiting for Shirou. 

Perfect, he accepted my request without arguing. Now, I have to slowly put inte his head the idea that his life has more value than he thinks and, that someone cares for him and for his life... If he keeps to worrying about the life of others slowly he will lose his own, without even realizing it. 

Medea knew very well what happened when someone dedicated their entire life to someone else, even if they were forced to do so. 

Anyway, now that I know that he feels he is not worthy to enjoy more privileges than those who have not made it I can think of something, what can I do to change him? What if... A little idea came to her mind. 

Now Caster wanted to orice again exploit Shirou's selfless nature, but this time it was to make sure that he will not get himself into trouble. If he knew that someone cared for him and waited for his return at home he would not just throw his life away since he would not be able to ignore that person. 

Now she had to just find someone that could take care of him, someone who will remain with him after the end of the war, maybe she could exploit the girl once again. 

But I can think of it later, first I have to improve Shirou's circuits, then I have to find and study the Grall.' 

Shirou had just finished breakfast and now he was going to the tool-shed. 

That moming had been very strange, first he had that dream but he didn't wake up in the middle of the night, Caster tried to make breakfast, and then at one point he suddenly fainted. It was strange, he now was feeling pretty good... but probably Castar had used some magic on him after he fainted. 

He could see, and sense, that Caster was really worried about him, and he certainly didn't want to make her worry for some stupid mistake that he did. Thanks to Caster he now was participating in the war, he could not disappoint her. Thanks to her he will be able to save... many people as possible. 

after the procedure he now had Since Caster said that he will automatically become stronger after the p tried to make a move he would be able to trace them down, ow had simply t to rest and recover as fast as possible. And now that Caster was controlling the city with her familiars he v and he will make sure that way they will not be able to harm other innocents again. e was sure that if the kidnapper, or other mages. 

Shirou still could not forgive himself for letting those people disappear. 

Caster warned him before that he could not save everyone, but he still felt guilty for their deaths... maybe if he got stronger sooner he would have been able to save them, 

He now didn't know what to do anymore, his emotions were conflicting and he was already angry for some reason. 

He wanted to save everyone, but he had already failed before he could even start... at the thought Shirou frowned and clanched his fists. 

In the meantime he arrived in front of the toolshed, he then took a deep breath, calmed down, and then he entered the toolshed. 

"You're finally here, take off your shirt so that can start. Said Caster as soon she saw him. 

Shirou did as Caster said and after taking off his shirt he turned his back to her. 

Castor placed a hand on his hack and she stacted to improve Shirau's circuits, and just like the other times he didn't even flinch, the first time she paid no mind, but now she was sure that Shirou had a very high pain tolerance, but after going through that 

hell it should have been normal. 

After 4 full hours she was done, now Shirou's circuits were of the highest possible quality they could be, to the point they could be defined as inhuman. It turned out that since Shirou was 'technically an object, thanks to the fact of being the incarnation of Sward, she could exploit her Item Creation ability on him at its fullest and she could modify his body to her liking. It was such a convenient thing for her, right? 

Anyway, at first Shirou will not be able to control his new and improved circuits, he could even kill himself if he tried to use them, but with her keeping an eye on him there would be no problems. 

She started to look at Shirou and she could note that he was a bit in pain... she didn't want to see him suffer again. 

"Shirou, If it hurts you can tell me." Caster said.

"...Yes, It hurts a bit, but you don't have to worry. 

"Are you sure about it? Or you will faint again?" Caster asked as she raised an eyebrow. 

"Good, I made her worry again... Shirou thought as he felt stupid. 

"May I use some magic to ease your pain?" Caster then asked. 

"Sure. 

Caster placed her hand on Shirou's back and started to pour some mana, in that moment Shirou could feel his pain ease quite a lot, but his circuits still hurt. 

"Now that I'm done here with you I will go into my room, I will need to focus so I have to ask you to not disturb me. But of course, If anything should happen you have to let me know... oh, and remeber to not use your circults or you will fry yourself. Caster said as she started to get out of the tool-shed, 

"Sure, but before you go, could you tell me what is your favorite plate?" 

"... Why do you ask? Caster asked curiously after she stopped. 

"Well, since now I have nothing to do I wanted to start some preparations for lunch... and I wanted to thank you in some way... Shirou said as he blushed a little. 

"Thank me?" Caster asked as she turned and noted Shirou's cute expression. 

"Since we first met you always took care of me in some sense, even if at times I am a bit careless and reckless... You also teached me everything I know about magic and you are even training me for the war... I don't really know how to thank you. Shirou said as he watched his side. 

"... Trust me Shirou, you did more than you can ever imagine. She sald, 

"What do you mean?" Shirou asked as he quickly raised his head. 

"Nothing, ignore it." Caster said before she sighed. "Anyway, if you want to thank me in some way, why don't you teach me how to cook?" She then asked. 

Caster still felt a bit ashamed that a boy many years younger than her was a better cook than her, still, it was never late to learn the and advanced recipes that this ora could offer her. 

As soon she finished to speak she saw Shirou's eyes getting full of motivation and excitement. 

"Sure! If this is what you want I have no problem with it!" Shirou said excitedly. 

"That's the spirit." Caster said with a little smile. "Now I'll go, see you later Shirou." Caster said before she dematerialized. 

Shirou right now was really happy, he now could finally repay, even If just in part, Caster's generosity by teaching her how to cook, something that he was an expert in.. 

That morning was undoubtedly getting better. 

After Caster entered her room she created a copy of herself and send it to the temple, now she could start to search for the Grail's location. She knew that the Grall needed a lot of energy, so the best point where to start was the place where all the leylines were connected. 

"Some hours later" 

Caster was less than happy with her discoveries. 

she knew the location of Grall, but she could not yet directly interact with it because there was some kind of barrier that blocked all spirit entities like her from doing anything. Luckily she could still study it, and just like she suspected there was 

Now something extremely wrong within the Grail. 

She now was sure that the Grall was responsible for the cataclysm that happened 10 years ago... somehow the Holy Grail had been corrupted, 

Huh, modern mages can't do anything right. To think that at first I was even interested in the creation of Grail... it seems that I have overestimated this so called "mages", Caster thought irritated. 

After finding and studying it for a while Caster even discovered the real purpose of the Grall. It seemed that those "mages" had created the Grail as a device to reach the Root, but to do so they needed to kill all 7 servants so that the Grall would have 

enough power to do it... but they somehow forgot, or didn't noticed, that the only ones who could interact with the Grail were the Servant themself.

She admitted that the Grail was a powerful and complex device, but there were too many flaws in it that could not be ignored, one of those was that it was corrupted by an evil entity. 

'I surely would not let something so vile and evil grant my wish, I don't even want to know what it could cause if should ever... wait, my wish" 

Now that she thought about it she didn't know what to wish anymore, if to go back or start a new life and leaving her past behind, and since it turned out that the Grall was corrupted she couldn't even realize said wish. 

... Huh, Shirou was right all along, if I survive the war I should really just start a new life. Caster thought as she simply shrugged. 

This was just one of the many disappointments she had in life, it was nothing to be shocked about, really. 

She dispelled her copy that was at the temple and she got out of her room, she could tell that it was almost time for lunch since she could smell Shirou's cooking. 

While going to the living-room she started to rethink Shirou's nightmare. 

The things that she saw in Shirou's first memory were terrifying even for someone like her, never once in her life she saw an apocalyptic scenario like that, she even started to ask how or why the Counter Force had not be summoned and exterminated everyone and everything. 

At one point she asked herself if she should tell to Shirou what really happened 10 years ago, but then she remembered how Shirou reacted to the news that morning.... 

'It would be better if I will tell him this in future... or not at all. Caster thought since she did not know how Shirou would react to the news... Her influence may backfire if she was not careful enough. 

While she was immersed in her own thought she arrived in front of the living-room. 

"Good moming Caster-san!" Said Taiga cheerfully as she jumped out of a corner. 

"Oh, good morning Taiga-san, I didn't hear you coming. Caster said a bit surprised at the woman's sudden appearance. 

"Hehehe, I can be quite sneaky... like a tigeri Anyway, last week when we went to buy some clothes for you I mistakenly took one of your shirts..." Taiga raised her arm to let Caster see the bag she had in her hand. "Can you tell me where is your room? so I can leave it there." 

"Sure, my room it's the one close to Shirou's. Caster said as she pointed behind herself. 

"Eh?" Said Taiga shocked as she took a step back. 

"What? Asked Caster a bit confused after a second. 

"10 minutes later 

Both Talga and Caster were sitting in the living room waiting for Shirou to finish cooking. 

"I'm sorry, I should have expected something like this." Said Tagla clearly displeased. 

"No, you don't have to worry, I know that it's strange, if you want I will change room immediately." Caster said in a serious tone. 

"No, no, no! If you still have those nightmares you don't have to do anything... I'm so sorry." Talga said with a sad tone as she bowed her head. 

"You... don't have to." Caster said as she looked at her side. 

Caster had forgotten how incredibly reserved were Japanese people in general. 

She now had told to Taiga that she kept having some nightmare from her past, and for that reason, she wanted to sleep near Shirou to feel safer. 

It was very embarrassing for her to saying something like that, but at the moment she didn't know what else to say, and she could not tell her that she had her room near Shirou so that she could protect him from some heroic spirits. 

Still, that excuse worked perfectly and Taiga, sweet and understanding woman as she was, believed her. 

After sometime Shirou started to serve lunch, and the Taiga immediately forgot of what had just happened as she started to devour Shirou's plate.