Futile Love

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. Without knowing that, I was jealous of you because I had a closed mind. Would you forgive me?”

Her confession that she was jealous of Kyosul was true. As Bipaan’s second wife in name only, Kyoyoung burned with love for Bipaan, looking at him from a distance. She became enraged when she knew that a woman who came from a foreign country got married to him and emerged as his official wife, the Crown Princess, and her bedspread on the wedding night was reportedly stained with blood.

I’ve been thinking about how to deal with this little woman, but I now see she is getting by thanks to her right-hand woman.

Kyoyoung felt she could see face to face with Kyosul on an equal footing without feeling any jealousy. She also understood Kyosul’s position in the imperial palace. At that moment, she felt she could be as generous as toward Kyosul. As if to show she was generous by nature, Kyoyoung now had a kind smile on her face.

Getting out of her arms, Kyosul nodded, looking into her eyes. Kyosul’s pale face was stained with tears. She looked all the more lonely with her face wet with tears.

“I’m alright. I should have come to see you first as you came to the palace ahead of me. In fact, I was just so absent-minded about getting adjusted to the imperial palace unfamiliar to me, only thinking about my hard life…”

Kyosul’s eyes were wet with tears again.

How can this tender-hearted woman endure a hard life here? Kyoyoung was now complacent enough to worry about her. She even held out her hand to wipe Kyosul’s tears.

“I really didn’t know you had such a hard life here. As I heard you went to Dongchon Palace every day, I just thought you and the Crown Prince were leading a happy married life.”

Kyoyoung furtively sounded out her feelings. As expected, Kyosul freely told her the truth, shaking her head.

“Well, I went there on my own. I thought it was my duty as his official wife, but the Crown Prince refused even my visit these days, so I’m making a trip there for nothing.”

“Oh my god…I’m so sorry to hear that.”

When she heard that Kyosul was refused by the Crown Prince every day, Kyoyoung lamented before she knew. Kyoyoung’s hard feelings about her melted away.

With a smile she said, “Your Highness, you’re so good-natured!”

“You look very tender-hearted, Kyoyoung.”

Kyosul smiled brightly.

Kyosul had something in common with Kyoyoung in that they had both been deserted by the Crown Prince on the wedding night, which made her relax. In her eyes, Kyoyoung looked like an adult. Without any regard for the big difference between Bipaan’s official wife and second wife, Kyosul felt as if she met a dependable elder sister.

Kyoyoung looked at her with a calm smile, thinking, This woman is in the same boat.

She felt relieved to know that. She now could be more generous toward this young and weak-spirited Crown Princess.

***

The nanny always tried to be by Kyosul’s side as she was worried about her homesickness. For some reason, however, Kyosul wouldn’t let her come in whenever she entered the back garden of the outer palace. Today, too, the nanny followed her to the entrance of the back garden and decided to wait for her outside.

Walking along the path in the back garden alone, Kyosul headed for the big tree in the center of the palace.

I just don’t know why I’m coming here…

Letting out a deep sigh, she leaned against the tree. Her lively face looked sick as her cheeks were sullen these days. She couldn’t feel comfortable these days because of her strong homesickness and the Crown Prince’s refusal to see her in the morning. As she got nervous, she lost appetite and weight quickly. As she lost her baby fat, her big eyes became bigger, making her look younger than before. Her hair ornaments plated with gold noise in the wind.

She lowered her head, put her forehead on the tree, and closed her eyes. When she closed her eyes, she could hear the birds singing clearly. At first, she heard a little bird chirping, the wind blowing, and finally, she heard someone coming toward her with light footsteps from a distance. She smiled quietly.

“Long live the Crown Princess! I’m honored to see you.”

She opened her eyes at the soft voice of a man and turned around. And she smiled brightly just like she did in her motherland.

She visited this place, very far from her residence in the East Palace, every day to meet this man. He was the only man who made her laugh after she was worn out due to her husband’s cold shoulder.

“Uljin Yu!”

As if by magic, she just felt so comfortable as if she were back to her motherland when she uttered his name. She approached the man who was offering greetings to her by kneeling with his coat fluttering in the wind. When she touched him on the shoulder lightly, he stood up.

He was none other than Prince Ruhae, the third in line to the throne in the Mok Kingdom.

Without identifying himself in detail, he continued to keep company with Kyosul with his childhood name ‘Uljin Yu.’ When he met her at the library of the outer palace by chance, Ruhae recommended her to visit its back garden. Since then, they had a secret meeting in the back garden more often than not.

As they didn’t promise to meet on certain dates, sometimes one of them wandered around the back garden alone, but this kind of meeting in the back garden was the sanctuary of their hearts. He was the only man in the imperial palace that she could feel comfortable to be around. Before they knew it, they already got close to each other, so they treated themselves as friends, speaking in a casual tone.

“Oh, you came out today?” she asked.

“Yes, I got squared away a bit early today. Of course, I have to go back late in the afternoon.”

“Oh, you’re talking about your official work. Is a royal family member like you swamped with heavy workload everyday?”

“Royal family members are always busy.”

Ruhae answered quickly. In fact, he was busy because he was one of the competitors to succeed the throne. He was known as the top scholar in the palace as he was excellent in arts and letters and well versed in knowledge. So, he handled the next important state affairs after his brother Bipaan. In particular, he was in charge of the state affairs relating to education and law.

“Really? I don’t think so,” said Kyousl, worrying her lip. “Though I’m the Crown Princess, I’m not busy at all. Rather, I’m so bored everyday that it’s really hard for me to spend time.”

The position of the Crown Princess was No. 2 in rank in the royal office managing the king’s concubines. How could a woman in such an important position have nothing to do?

“Don’t you think you are the only one who is carefree with no work to do?” he asked.

Ruhae had spent 21 years in the palace. Though the royal concubines didn’t deal with any state matters, he knew that they were pretty close to those in power. He witnessed them bending over backwards to curry favor with men of power even at receptions. That was a distant world that Kyosul couldn’t even imagine. She was nothing but a young crown princess who, missing her motherland and finding it hard even to get adjusted to the palace life.

“The only thing I have to do every day is to pretty myself up every time I leave my residence. I’m not given any assignment regarding state affairs.”

“How can play the role of the Crown Princess when you’re so tender-hearted?”

“…”

When Ruhae mentioned the title ‘Crown Princess,’ she got offended all of a sudden. But with her mouth closed tightly, she turned back, folding her hands. He burst into laughter at her childish act, but he swallowed it quickly and said, “Your Highness, Crown Princess Kyosul!”

“…”

“Your Highness, Crown Princess!”

Though he called several times, she didn’t turn around. He felt sorry about her back, her small head, her skinny shoulders and the excessively large skirt for her small figure. He felt tempted to extend his hand to touch her.

“My brother’s wife!”

Barely controlling his thrilled heart, he just simply called her. Even that made his heart fill with excitement. In the imperial palace where the royal law was strictly observed, it was significant for him to call her casually without mentioning her title fully. Of course, that was something only he knew, which Kyosul didn’t realize at all. He felt so thrilled to call her just that. After that, he kept calling her his brother Bipaan’s wife.

“My brother’s wife, didn’t you come here to see me? If you turn around like that, I can’t see your face.”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you really okay even if you turn around? Let me go back, then,” he said, stepping back.