Gem of section eBook-2

Frustration


Author's Note: I know many people will be angry here...

Jay-jay's POV
I don't want to ask. I don't even want to. It's a mess but I really don't.
I don't want to bring up the topic of the accident. Even though I'm itching
to know the truth.
I already know some parts but the whole thing. As in whole!
I'm intimidated!
"We're here..." He said and stopped the car in front of our house.
"...will I pick you up tomorrow?"
"Maybe not... Ci-N and I are together. He still doesn't know."
I explained.
"Ahh... Ok. Maybe next time."
I just smiled at him. I was about to open the car door
but he suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Wait a minute..." He said.
"Why?" I asked.
He suddenly snorted and closed his eyes. I raised one eyebrow.
"Do you want to kiss my fist?" I asked and he suddenly
looked at me with a bad look.
"Just one!" He said annoyed.
"You're already doing it a lot!"
"I'm just making up for it."
Making up for it?!
"What are you making up for?" I asked him in surprise.
"B-because... Keifer, you've been kissed a lot of times but I...
Only a few times." He explained.
I immediately felt annoyed by what he said. Because
he used to be competitive with me.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked seriously.
"W-nothing... I'm just jealous." His answer sounded childish.
"You sound like a child... Besides, this isn't a competition!" I said annoyed.
"Sorry..."
"Oh! When you were quiet!" I offered while hugging him.
He immediately smiled and hugged me. The fool took advantage,
it took him a while before he broke away from me.
I opened the car door and got out. I waited for him
to leave before I approached our gate.
I was just one step away from being inside but another car
stopped in front of us.
Who is this?!
The car door opened and.....Keifer was looking at me angrily.
"W-why aren't you----"
He suddenly grabbed my arm and dragged me closer to
his car.
"Get in!" He ordered.
I was just standing in front of the car. I looked at our
open gate and at him.
If I ran inside, I might not catch him. He wouldn't be
able to get inside the house because Aries and Kuya Angelo were there.
"Don't even think about it..." I heard Keifer say.
Was I that obvious? He realized that too.
You're welcome!
I was so excited to get into his car----different again!
He got in right away, before he even started moving I was already holding on to the would-be captain.
The guy drove like an animal. He really felt like a Car Racer.
How was I, his passenger?
As he continued driving, I watched him.
His eyebrows met again and it was as if he was angry with the world.
"W-where are we going?" I asked.
He didn't answer. He turned right, turned left and we just kept driving straight. I looked up at the sky. The sun
was setting, maybe Kuya and I
were worried about me . I took my cellphone out of my pants pocket. I was about to text Ci-N and Kuya but
suddenly Keifer took my phone and threw it in front of the steering wheel. "I'm going to let Kuya know!" I said
annoyed. He didn't answer, he just kept looking straight at the road. I leaned my arms out of annoyance. His
anger was getting stronger again! Annoyed! The trip was long. How long? I don't know, all I know is that the
sky was already dark. It was too dark and it was even darker where we were going. Could it be that he had
something planned for me?! We were on the side of the road. There were no houses or any lights. I felt like we
were in a newly built subdivision because of the gate we passed earlier. "Where are we?" I asked. "What did
you and Yuri do?" He asked calmly but there was a hint of anger in his voice. Angry! "W-went to church." I
hesitated. "What else?" "Went grocery shopping and cooked." "What else?" I was starting to feel scared of
what he was doing. I didn't plan on telling him everything. He might get angry like before. I guess I didn't want
that. "W-were talking and looking at pictures." "What else?" "Nothing!" "What. Else." He said firmly. I just
swallowed. What else was his problem? "W-nothing... Is there anything else?" He looked me straight in the
eye. There was my fear again, fighting my courage. "Don't lie to me." He said. I just looked in the other
direction and took a deep breath. It's just a kiss! "Nn-kiss----" I didn't finish what I was going to say. Suddenly
he got out of the car and almost threw the door shut. I felt the car shake from what he did. He just stood there
looking somewhere. His back was to me and I could see him combing his hair several times. I just bit my
lower lip. It was very dark outside and the only light we had was the car's headlights. I was forced to get out of
the car. I walked slightly closer to him but I stopped slightly when he turned to me. "Keifer..." "Why are you
doing this to me?" He asked me. It was like something hit my heart when I saw his eyes. They were so soft,
and it was like he had become a different person. "...You're mine. Only mine. Everything about you is mine."
That's enough! "No... I'm not. I'm not Kiefer's. You don't own me." I said calmly. This needs to stop. He or we
should stop. "Why? Because you like Yuri?" Stop it! That's enough! "Yes. That's why I accepted his marriage
proposal." I told him directly. He moved slightly closer to me. He looked me straight in the eyes. "Liar." My
eyebrows furrowed at his words. "...You can't lie----" "I'm not." I whispered. "-----to me." "What I'm saying is true."
I emphasized. "And yet you responded to my kiss that night." He said bitterly. Don't open that topic! I don't
want to remember that. "...You responded to my touch and you moaned my name. Then you're going to say,
you like Yuri? What about me? What am I to you?" No! I don't want to talk about that! It was just a mistake.
"...You almost gave yourself to me! That's right! HOW COME THAT YURI IS THE ONE YOU LIKE?!" He added
angrily. I couldn't stop crying. My tears fell one after another . "YES! I'M NOT SURE ABOUT WHAT I FEEL! BUT I
KNOW THAT'S THE RIGHT ONE! YURI SHOULD BE THE ONE! IT WAS A MISTAKE THAT I ALMOST GAVE YOU!"
I said angrily. "You choose Yuri. Why?! Because of that FVCKING ENGAGEMENT?!" "NO!" "THEN WHY?!" I
wiped my tears away and gasped for air a few times. My chest was so heavy. I didn't know we would end up
like this. "Because that's the right one... I can't imagine or see Yuri getting hurt again for the same reason." I
just leaned against the car with my knees bent. "...So even though I wasn't sure, I accepted it. I wanted her to
experience happiness." "So you chose to sacrifice your feelings?" He asked calmly. I didn't answer. I just sat on
the floor while continuing to wipe my tears. "Ha! It's Yuri again!" He said, causing me to look at him. "...The 'oh
so genius kid'. The good boy, the heir of Hanamitchi. Yuri who is loved and cared for by a lot of people" He
slowly walked away and looked up at the sky. I could see his frustration in every move he made. "...Why is it
about him again?! Always?! When we thought Percy was dead, he was the first thing they thought of! But me?!
What?! NOTHING! No one even asked if I was okay. Everything about him! And now, even the woman that I
love?!" He shouted angrily. I couldn't understand what he was saying. Did he have any ill feelings towards Yuri?
I tried to stand up while looking at him. But I felt even more softened when I saw him crying. Keifer... "...Me!
Who don't have a mother by my side, a father who will guide me and I'm taking care of my siblings for fvcking
so long! No one even asked if I was okay!" It's like my heart is breaking. I can't see him like this. He's so
different from the Keifer I knew. That's enough... I'm hurt! "...But he's the one with the scar, they almost rushed
him to the hospital! Everyone just didn't want to worship him." He added. I didn't wait for him to say anything
more. I immediately went over and hugged him tightly. At the same time, my tears fell again . "That's enough!
Please..." I pleaded. "Not you either! Jay-jay!" He said and hugged me tightly . "Please..." This is wrong! Wrong,
wrong! But I can't fix it either. I always say that we should stop but how can I do that. How.... How? Especially
if it hurts both of us. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to make promises. Because maybe what Ci-N
said is true, promises are meant to be broken. But in our current situation.... "No... Not me." I said and I felt him
breathe deeply. "I can't lose you..." He said. I just closed my eyes. I don't care if this is still wrong. I'm ready to
make it right in any way. "I love you so much Jay..." I held on tightly to his clothes. It felt strange when I heard
that from him but it felt even stranger when I said it.... "I love you too Keifer."