Haru-Naru ♪♪♪ Love is a Comedy

Going around to the side of the Alice+ shop, we saw a small stage constructed for the purposes of the event. There was a set of arcade machines, and one computer unit that people could get experience with, along with a few large display screens that showed the gameplay. Naruko and Mio stood in line, while Ruby and I stood off to the side with the spectators.

I tried sending a light question Ruby's way. "You're not participating?"

Ruby completely ignored my words. She stood there, stock still, while looking up at the screen expressionlessly.

What an unsociable person. Being alone with her is so awkward. Not being able to do anything else, I imitated my neighbor and looked up at the screen. Until Naruko's turn came up, I watched the other participants's battles with the staff members. And… as I watched, I gradually came to understand the differences between the arcade and PC versions of the game. In the arcade version of Siscali, unlike the PC version, you did not create a custom character and use her to fight. Like a normal fighting game, you had to select your character from a number of premade characters. And then, you can further choose your character's weapons, special moves, and costumes. In short, they got rid of the training part of the game, and just simply left the fighting part. I really wished they had added a mode like that in the PC version too… but that's probably an unreasonable demand. As I tried to listen closely to the noisy chatter around me, I heard the following conversation.

"Geez, in three days, that guy's won fifty straight times… the staff seriously isn't going easy on the players… the line of challengers is also thinning out."

"By the way, that staff member is a high ranking player for the PC version, isn't he? Going in blind against a player like that, who's using a new character… how can you win? And without even having gotten used to the new strategies…"

No, the character the staff was using… that wasn't a new character. It was one of the mid-bosses from the PC version, wasn't it? The costume was a bit different, but I definitely recognized that character's special moves.

Ah. How the hell did it get to be that I could correct people who were talking about eroge? Not good. This was seriously bad… and just because the arcade version wasn't 18+, that didn't make me feel any better. I began to sweat profusely, and it wasn't from any kind of excitement.

Ruby, in normal Ruby fashion, continued to stare at the screen without moving an inch. The staff member continued to rack up consecutive victories… and then, it was number 99's turn. Naruko's number had come up.

The character Naruko selected was a lightning user that had also been available in the PC version. The character was adept at both long-range and close-range attacks, and was very easy to use. It was a character that beginners often used, according to the wiki. At the costume select screen, she chose the fairy outfit (it was an outfit that stressed speed, it seemed), and Naruko arrived at the battle style selection screen. A large number of weapons and special abilities groupings were shown, and the players had to choose one at their discretion. For example, in terms of special skills… you can completely deplete your energy gauge and bombard the enemy with the "Super Railgun" attack. You could also shake the joystick and charge your energy, and depending on the charge time you can perform close-range attacks that multiply your power like "Fantasy Destroyer Fist."

Having finished selecting her character, Naruko swung one arm around and her entire body seemed filled to the brim with fighting spirit. It was pretty clear that she fully intended to win. Even she should understand that her opponent was the formidable enemy (although the character looked like a childish brat) who had defeated 98 challengers in a row. Her attitude was seriously something else. If you try, you should try to win. That was my sister's stance. When it came to competition, playing to win was an extremely fundamental element of mental preparation, but when you try to put this rule into action, you would find that there is nothing more difficult in the world. Pros and beginners were separated not only by skill level, but also by this level of determination, were they not? Lately, as I watched the way Naruko presented herself, these things came to mind.

Ah?! She was beaten in a second. Hey. Even though I had led you in with such a glowing introduction as if you were going to pull out a come-from-behind victory… there wasn't even enough time to give commentary on the battle. The time it took for her to select her character was much longer than the actual battle.

"…tch. What the hell is with this bullshit game? It's not like you can expect me to win at this. That was screwed up."

Sulking, my sister's excuse seemed like something a delinquent who had just gotten beaten down at an arcade would say. Sadly hanging her head and walking slowly, my sister's form truly inspired sympathy.

"I mean… you're not that great at Siscali in the first place. There was no way you were going to beat someone like that."

"Saying things like that is what makes you so boring. That's something only a loser would say."

"What's with that arrogant attitude, even though you had just lost?"

"Shut up!"

I understood what she was trying to say, but she was clearly just lashing out in anger. And come on, the one who's making excuses is the loser, right?! As I put up with my sister's tantrum, Mio also lost and came back. Bopping herself on the back of her head with one hand, she timidly looked downwards.

"Ahh, I'm really sorry. I made it pretty far, but…"

"Ah, don't worry about it. There's no helping it. You can't win against that."

If Mio couldn't win, and Mio was much much better at the game than Naruko was, then there really was no helping it. There was nothing we could do but give up on getting Naruko the limited edition disk she wanted.

"Hey Naruko. Don't worry, cheer up. You can go buy any of the other goods that you like." I tried to speak as kindly as possible. Naruko grumbled about being treated like a child, but it seemed she was satisfied with my statement.

"Hmph. I couldn't win, huh…? Bro, go buy that then. The life-size Siscali cutout over there, the one of Onihime Gyuki."

Naruko was pointing at a life-size cutout of Onihime Gyuki, a little sister that appeared as a mid-boss in the game but was a useable character in the arcade version of the game. She's a dark skin girl with blonde hair and two bull horns, was clothed in black, and looked like a magic-user. Underneath her mantle, she was wearing nothing at all. From her mantle, several tentacle-like tails sprouted to make an attack, so she was often called the "tentacle ox sister."

"I don't think that's for sale, Naruko."

And even if they were selling that, there was no mistaking that I would be the one holding it. And with that pose with her mantle fluttering… can I really walk around with that? Does she want to kill me or something? For argument's sake, if I had to carry that around, then it would be fine if we stayed in this area. After all, everyone around here is carrying ero goods. But it would be impossible to do the same in my hometown. I would absolutely be against doing that. If I met someone I knew in the middle of going home like that, what would happen? For example, if I met Yang…

"…w-what the hell is this?! Haruto you stupid pervert, DIE!"

I'm sure she's going to kick my ass if she see me having such indecent thing like this.

"By the way, Haruto-chan, where did Ruby-chan go off to?"

"Hm? She should be right next to… ah, she's not here."

At some point, she had gone off somewhere. She didn't have a large presence, so I didn't even notice. Searching for any sign of the black-red haired gothic lolita girl, we looked around. Suddenly, I heard a cheer.

It appeared that someone had defeated the staff member who had racked up so many consecutive victories. All the eyes in the area, mine included, turned towards the victor standing at the arcade machine. Somehow, the person sitting there was precisely the person we were currently looking for.

"H-Huh? W-What is she doing over there…? " Naruko widened her mouth in bewilderment, and her voice was in complete disarray. With pretty much the same expression, I looked up at the display which was replaying the match.

On that screen, the previously mentioned new character "Onihime Gyuki" was shown being used by both players in a high speed battle. It was a match between two of the same characters. Onihime Gyuki was more or less one-sidedly destroying the other Gyuki. How should I put it… that is… I had also cleared the game once, so I understood this all a bit, but that Gyuki who was one-sidedly beating up on the other one… her movements were just something else. With seemingly impossible reaction times, she completely countered each and every one of her opponent's attacks. And then…

"Whooooooooooooooaaaa!" A cheer even louder than the one I heard before erupted. As shown on the replay screen, the Gyuki Ruby was using had won in a perfect match against her opponent in less than thirty seconds. Afterwards, the losing staff member, with great respect, began to applaud for Ruby.

"How cruel, Ruby-chan! I never knew you were so amazing at that game!"

Returning in silence, Ruby was jumped and hugged by a pleasantly surprised Mio.

"…h-hey, get off of me."

"What are you saying, you… you… Haha!"

Ruby looked seriously annoyed, but for some reason, Mio might have interpreted her annoyance as embarrassment or something, and intensified the pressure of her hands. This continued for a short while.

Finally, Mio released Ruby, and Ruby muttered, seeming completely exhausted. "…y-you're human, yet you don't seem to understand human speech at all…go get cursed, please…"

I could only wholeheartedly agree that oftentimes, Mio didn't seem to understand Japanese.

Mio didn't seem to mind that Ruby had just told her to go get cursed, and just continued to clap Ruby on the back excitedly. "Ahahahah, but seriously, you're so amazing! What was with that unreasonably fast reaction speed?! It was like fighting a Level 8 Goenitz, Ruby-chan!"

Who the hell is Goenitz? Use comparisons I can understand, dammit. Why is it that otaku always assume that other people understand all the references they're making? There aren't many people who would respond to these things as calmly and kindly as I would, you know. Well, certainly, for people who know what she's talking about, it's probably a pretty easy analogy to understand.

"In any case, how exactly do you know how to use the special attacks of a new character? The normal skills are one thing, but there's no reason you should be able to so easily bring out the super special skills."

Naruko seemed flustered. It also sounded like there was some implicit accusation in her question… she probably couldn't swallow the fact that Ruby, the girl she always argued with, had won against the opponent she couldn't win against. This was what people called "narrow-mindedness." Well, anyways, I was honestly a bit curious as to how Ruby knew how to use the special skills for the new characters (that is, characters that became usable just now).

Ruby responded expressionlessly. "When they were inputting their commands, the characters lean one way or the other, right? From how the characters lean, from how the player's hand is moving, from the sounds of the buttons being pushed and the timing, I can make out how to command the character."

Wait, what? Just by watching how the staff member was moving, she could see all of that? Even how to use the character's special moves, in such a short time? What kind of crazy power of observation was that? Was she a freak of nature?

I watched Ruby staring fixedly at Naruko. As usual, she had no expression whatsoever on her face.

"W-What…?" Seemingly engulfed in the tense atmosphere, Naruko responded with an inflammatory remark, but quite expectedly Ruby didn't even budge. She continued to just stare at Naruko with her silver eyes.

At long last… without lowering her gaze, she began to pace. Next, she firmly grasped her own arm. Light creases wrinkled her brow, and it seemed like she was very troubled by there, it seemed that Naruko couldn't stay silent anymore, and threw some more dangerous words Ruby's way. "Hey… stop with the silence. Say something."

And then… facing Naruko, Ruby held something out to her. It was the limited edition disk she had just received as a price. "…I'll give this to you."

"Huh?" My sister's face at this point was truly a sight to behold. Opening her eyes incredibly widely, her jaw dropped to the floor, and it seemed she was severely confused as to what had just happened. "Eh? Ehh? What? What do you mean?"

"What? Do you not want it? Or do you just not understand human speech?" Ruby spoke in a moody way, just like she would when she was arguing with Naruko.

Probably… probably, Ruby had won the limited edition disk for Naruko's sake. Of course, I wasn't confident in that assertion at all, considering this girl was so socially awkward that I could not even begin to guess what she was thinking. Her speech and actions, her expression, and her attitude were all utterly disconnected. She was absurdly difficult to understand. And Naruko… why is it that when I was holding that box of yours, you were so quick to understand your own motives and try to snatch it away from me, but you're so slow here to respond to your friend's goodwill? The problem in communication here was not completely the fault of either one of them; both of them were somewhat to blame.

"Um… if you want, would you like to have this?"

"Hm? Can I? Thank you."

Why couldn't they just do something as simple and straightforward as that? In reality…

"…hmph. If you don't need it just throw it away for me."

"I-I never said I didn't want it!"

"So, why don't you just stop messing around and take it? Heh… could it be that you're too arrogant to do even that? If that's the case, that's pretty pitiful. What a worthless person."

"What the hell is up with those irritating remarks…? Why the hell do you have to go that far?!"

Well, there you go… in the end, they started arguing again. I couldn't stand to watch anymore, and averted my eyes. And my line of sight settled onto Mio, who was holding her stomach and trying not to laugh. Wiping tears from her eyes with a handkerchief, Mio turned and faced me.

"…Fufu. Well well, well. I apologize, Haruto-chan. Ahh, how interesting. It might be a bit difficult to understand, but they're bonding in their own style right now."

"I know."

Naruko had wanted to make good summer memories. That's what I had told them. First to Mio, and then… to Ruby as well. And that's why I'm sure that Ruby had, even though she knew she was acting out of character, done something for Naruko. I knew that.

"Tch! If you put it like that, I'll take it off your hands then. Be grateful!" Naruko's words were filled with fury.

Mixed with a sigh, I translated for Mio while pointing at my sister. "'Thanks! I'm reaaaally happy!' is what she's saying."

"Bwuhahaha! You're definitely right! As expected from her twin brother you understand her all too well!"

"Hey! What the hell are you saying?!"

Faced with my sharp-eared sister's remark, I shrugged my shoulders and played dumb. Mio exploded in laughter, and for a long time her mirth rang through the room.

And then, after we had seen Summer Comiket from one end to the other, we headed towards Kokusaitenjijo Station. Raindrops had already started pitter pattering down, so by the time we got to the station it might start seriously raining. When we reach the other side, I wonder if we should hail a taxi… neither I nor Naruko had the courage to walk home carrying these two heavy, dangerous paper bags with us.

"Hey Naruko. By the way, I noticed you bought quite a lot from the corporate booths."

"Yeah?" Naruko's ears twitched. It was unavoidable that she would likely want to show off her purchases. Of course, I didn't really want to see her stuff at all, but it was at least better than getting into an argument, so I told her what she wanted to hear.

"I was just wondering what you bought."

"Well, I guess I can show you then." Naruko responded in an outrageously arrogant way, and with a "tadaa!" showed off a piece of cloth wrapped in vinyl. "Fufu, isn't it amazing?"

"Umm… what is it exactly?"

"It's Water Maiden Levia Summer Comiket limited edition hug pillow cover. On the front you have Levia-chan in her human form, and on the back there's Levia-chan in her dragon form mode. Cute, isn't it?"

She was really happy. I had never seen my sister smiling in such an entranced way before. But, seriously to think that I would hear the words "hug pillow cover" again here… I had seen the word when I was shopping online, and had dealt with the word when I gave Erza her present… it seems like lately, there's been a strange connection of fate between me and this word.

I had an idea that you would use such a thing while you were in bed… but if that's the case, exactly what would you do with it? I mean, no matter how much you love Levia-chan, it's not like you would want to sleep with her, right?

"How exactly are you going to use that? To decorate your room or something?"

"Eh? It's a hug pillow, so obviously I would sleep while hugging it. Well, sometimes I'll rub my face into it and smell it as well…"

I shouldn't have asked! And she's looking at me, puzzled, as if that was the most natural answer in the world! Don't make such an explosive announcement so casually! I was gripped with an overwhelming sense of fear, and barely managed to get my next words out.

"W-Well… I mean… wouldn't it just smell like polyester?"

"Huh? It smells like a girl."

That's your own smell! Or, to be exact, that's the smell of the brand of shampoo you use! What the hell is up with this?! This… this sister of mine! She calls me a hentai over and over, but isn't she the one who's much more of a hentai?!

In the midst of tears and chaos, the curtain dropped on our first experience with Summer Comiket. From the start, my goal in planning this trip and coming to the Big Sight convention center was to allow Naruko to make some fond summer memories, but personally, I didn't have fun at all. It was just as Mio and Ruby said. To the end, this event was a place where otaku gathered and actively had fun. Normal people like me were not welcome. I had to wait hours upon hours before even getting in, the crowd was terrible, and it was absurdly humid. My sister was constantly flowing with complaints, I was forced by that maid to buy a hentai book, I had to carry a huge amount of luggage… it was terrible. Other than that Frieza, there was nothing I was really pleased to see. But well… Even though the event didn't agree with me, Naruko seemed to have an incredible amount of fun. She had been all complaints at the beginning… but she was able to meet with authors she liked, and was able to buy a lot of doujinshi. She bought a lot, played games, and saw cosplay. And because of that, was able to deepen the bonds between her and some of her friends. That… should become… a good memory, right? I'm not her, though, so I can't say for sure.

Ahhh I'm beat. When I get home, I'm going to take a bath and then promptly fall asleep. Yeah, and I'm never coming back to this event again. But, I'll have to properly thank those two who helped in making fond memories for Naruko.

Slackening my walking speed, I casually left Naruko's side. Behind us, Ruby and Mio were talking with each other. I soon was walking beside them, and first spoke up to Mio. "Mio-chan. Thanks for today… you were an immense help. Seriously."

"Hahaha, no need to thank me. You did the same thing this morning, didn't you? Fufu, honestly, you're so polite, Haruto-chan. You're just a bit too conscientious, don't you think?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Well, shall I pick different words and say you're a siscon instead?"

"I'm not! You're just dodging the issue again. Can't you just simply accept my thanks?"

It couldn't be that this woman was embarrassed every time I praised her or thanked her, right? Ruby was hard to read since she never showed emotion, but Mio was always smiling, so it was difficult to figure out the subtleties of her mood as well. Her speech and costume were all linked to this character she had created… so I had a feeling that what I saw in front of me was not the real Mio. Nevertheless, there was no doubt that she was a good person.

"Ah, I apologize. But, honestly, I'm the one who should be thanking you. I was able to have a lot of fun today. Letting me meddle in your lives and deriving pleasure from that… that gives me pleasure as well. Out of all people, you should understand what I mean, Haruto-chan."

"As if I would know."

Dammit, talking as if she could see right through me. She's really hard to deal with, this one.

Ruby suddenly approached me from Mio's side. "Could you please give me back my clothes?"

"Hm? Oh." I passed back the clothes I had been holding onto for a long time, and Ruby lightly put the clothes on. "Oh, also… thank you too. From Naruko, also…"

"For what? I don't happen to recall doing anything for you that would require gratitude. Please stop. Being thanked for something I didn't do is the epitome of unpleasantness."

In contrast, this one was easy to understand. She was of the same ilk as Naruko, after all. As Ruby swiftly distanced herself from me, I nimbly tried to lead her into the next topic. "Hey, come over to our house sometimes. After all, we don't live far from each other."

"I'll think about it." Just by that response, I somehow felt that I understood how she felt about Naruko.