Hero Trainer: Choke Me With Those Thighs!

Izuku's message had landed in their phones like a stun grenade. I NEED YOU TO COME TO MY HOUSE. NOW. TEAM EMERGENCY. LEVEL S. NEMURI-SAN, YOU TOO, PLEASE.

There were no questions. No hesitation. The mention of "Level S" was a language they all understood, a code forged in the hell of the USJ and the bloody alleys of Hosu.

The door to the Midoriyas' apartment burst open. Ochako Uraraka stormed in first, breathless, one hand braced against the doorframe, her brown eyes wide with panic.

"Deku-kun! We got your message! What happened?! Is everyone okay?! Is it the League of Villains?!"

Momo Yaoyorozu entered right behind her, her usual elegance replaced by combat-ready tension. Her gray eyes were already scanning the room, searching for threats and assessing cover points. She carried a military-grade first-aid kit with her.

"What's the danger? Do we need to evacuate?"

Toru Hagakure was the last to enter, closing the door behind her with an ominous click.

"I was so scared I almost turned invisible for real! I thought you'd been kidnapped!"

Inko Midoriya came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on an apron. She was holding a tray of freshly baked cookies, a picture of domestic calm that clashed violently with the crisis atmosphere.

"Girls! What a surprise! Is something wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Before anyone could answer, the doorbell rang again, a sharp and polite sound. Inko, confused, walked over and opened the door.

On the other side stood a woman they all recognized instantly. Nemuri Kayama, Midnight, dressed in stylish civilian clothes but with an expression of serious professionalism that left no room for doubt.

"Oh, my! You're… Midnight!"

"Midoriya-san, I'm sorry for the intrusion," Nemuri said, her voice calm but with a palpable urgency. "I received an emergency message from your son. What's the situation?"

Inko looked at her, then at the girls, and finally at her son on the couch. Her confusion was absolute.

"Please, come in. I… I'm not sure."

Ochako, Momo, and Toru exchanged looks of utter bewilderment, wondering what she was doing there.

From the couch, Izuku raised a hand. Beside him, Himiko Toga sat cross-legged, munching on one of Inko's cookies with a smirk of absolute self-satisfaction.

"Everyone, relax. Please, sit down. There are no villains. There's no attack."

He paused, letting the tension in the room reach its peak.

"The emergency… is us."

The silence that followed was thick, heavy with confusion. The girls sat rigidly on the edge of the armchairs, their bodies still on high alert. Nemuri remained standing, arms crossed, assessing the scene with the gaze of a professional who knows the real threat isn't always the most obvious one.

"Last night, Toga and I… we discovered something," Izuku began, his voice sounding strangely formal. "It wasn't planned. It turns out my Quirk, 'Coach,' has a… a new level. It seems that intimate—total and prolonged—contact doesn't just give me the most complete reading of her Quirk. It acts as a catalyst that… forces an evolution in the other person's Quirk."

Toga swallowed the last piece of cookie and smiled, deciding Izuku's scientific jargon was too boring.

"What the nerd is trying to say is that we had amazing sex all night and now I can steal people's powers. It was a very, very productive training session. We should have them more often."

The bombshell exploded in silence.

"WHAT?!"

Ochako's cry was a choked shriek of pure disbelief. She leaped to her feet, her face flashing from pale to red in a second.

"In this house?! With your mother next door?! Deku-kun, that's…! I-I… I can't believe it! I thought you were just helping her with her… appetite!"

Toru covered her mouth with her hands, but her eyes were gleaming with morbid euphoria.

"I'M FREAKING OUT! So the secret to the ultimate power-up is sex! This changes everything! It's the most fun training method in history! We have to add it to the official program!" She turned to Toga, completely ignoring all decorum. "Hey, Toga-chan! Did it hurt? Was it romantic? Did he whisper Quirk analyses in your ear while you were doing it?"

"Izuku Midoriya!" Inko's voice was a burst of maternal panic. "That girl is like family and you… you…!"

She stopped, taking a deep breath. Her practical side, the one that had survived years of hardship, took over.

"Wait. Are you saying that… this act… has permanently stabilized her need for blood?"

Nemuri leaned against the wall, one eyebrow arched and a smile of pure intrigue forming on her lips.

"So you're telling me that a massive release of pleasure hormones, combined with your energy transfer, rewrote her Quirk. That's… unheard of. The potential for growth… and the potential for abuse… are astronomical."

Momo was the last to speak. She had remained silent, processing the information with the speed of a supercomputer, her face a calm mask hiding an internal storm. Her voice, when it finally came, was a desperate attempt to sound clinical and detached.

"The event is… statistically anomalous. I need to clarify the variables. Does the effectiveness of this 'protocol' depend on the duration and… intensity of the contact? Is emotional compatibility a factor? Does the… transfer of fluids… play a role in the catalysis?"

Each question was a scalpel, an attempt to dissect an act of passion and reduce it to a lab problem. It was her only defense mechanism.

Izuku, seeing the chaos he had unleashed, took control.

"Yes to all of it," he answered, looking at each of them. "It was a chain reaction. And the results… are a game-changer for the entire team."

He held up his phone screen, where he had transcribed the updated manuals. His analyst's passion took over, eclipsing the embarrassment.

"Imagine it! Toga can't just use their Quirks, she can use a version boosted with 'Mirror Fury.' She's our greatest offensive asset. We can be in two places at once! And my 'Predictive Combat Analysis' means I can coordinate the team against multiple threats almost without seeing them! We're a special operations unit."

"And it also makes you the number one target on the planet," Nemuri interjected, her voice now serious, that of a professional hero. "Someone like All For One would kill to have a Quirk like Toga's. And to control the catalyst. This cannot leave this room. Ever."

"The most important thing is that Toga-chan is no longer suffering," Inko said, her voice soft but firm, providing the maternal perspective. "If this helps her be happy and safe… then it was worth any risk."

Toga, who had been enjoying the show, looked at Inko, and for an instant, her smirk softened, becoming genuine.

Momo was still processing, her mind scrambling to find a logical foothold.

"Izuku-kun, you mentioned that 'Mirror Fury' drains your connection with her. Does that mean if… someone else… underwent the protocol… the energy cost to you would be similar? Could you maintain multiple connections at that level without suffering any deterioration?"

Her question was about the protocol's viability for others. The subtext was a scream.

Her voice lowered slightly, as if thinking aloud.

"My Quirk has a theoretical barrier in creating complex organic matter. If this protocol could… remove that barrier… I could create antidotes, living tissue to heal wounds… The potential to save lives would be… incalculable."

Then, her gaze fell on Toga, who was still wearing the wrinkled cheerleader skirt from the night before over her pajama pants. The verbal slip that followed was monumental.

"The cheerleader outfit I created… that was your idea, wasn't it, Toga? A specific… 'visual stimulus' for Izuku. Was that variable… a necessary component for the… success of the protocol?"

The question, so direct and laden with a desperate scientific curiosity, made everyone in the room stare at her. Toga burst out laughing.

"Of course it was! Science requires the right motivation!"

The chaos slowly subsided, replaced by a strategic gravity. They had crossed a threshold.

"All right."

Nemuri's voice was the one that formalized the new pact. She stood up, her tone now that of a professional hero taking command.

"What has been discussed in this room, what has happened in this house, is now an S++ Level secret. Beyond UA. This is something we protect with our lives. All of us. Understood?"

They all nodded solemnly, even Toga. They were a circle. A secret.

The meeting began to break up. Ochako and Toru pulled Toga into the kitchen to interrogate her about "details" Izuku didn't even want to imagine. Inko started collecting the mugs with a forced normalcy. Nemuri prepared to leave.

Momo approached Izuku. The facade of logic had cracked, revealing the anxiety swirling beneath the surface.

"Izuku-kun… the efficiency of this protocol…" her voice was a whisper. "To be able to integrate it into our future team strategies, I need to understand it on a deeper level. All its… facets. The optimal conditions. The… side effects."

She paused, her gaze intense and pleading.

"Could we… have a private analysis session? Just you and me. To… document everything. For the good of the team, and of course, for science."

Izuku, blushing completely, understood the desperate plea behind the logic. He saw the ambition, the curiosity, and a vulnerability she had never shown him before.

"Y-yes. Of course, Yaoyorozu. To… document. For science."

They stood there looking at each other, the unspoken offer hanging in the air. From the kitchen, Ochako and Toru watched the scene with expressions of shock and poorly disguised amusement. Inko sighed, resigned, as she washed a mug. And Nemuri, from the doorway, smiled with knowing eyes. Pandora's box had been opened, and now everyone wanted to see what was inside.

Novel Title: Bestowing Falna on the Kunoichi

Synopsis:

I had survived. Somehow, I'd passed the graduation exam. As Iruka-sensei handed me my ninja headband, I felt a wave of relief so pure I almost cried. Finally, I was a shinobi of Konoha. My life was about to begin.

And then, right before my eyes, a semi-transparent blue window appeared.

[Soul Synchronization Complete. Welcome.]

[System: Falna Activated.]

I blinked. Then I blinked again.

"What the...?"

Before I could even finish the thought, a tsunami of another life crashed into my brain. Twenty-five years of existence in a world called "Earth." Anime, manga, video games, internet forums, and above all, an unnervingly encyclopedic knowledge of the lives of every single person around me.

My life. The life of Naruto Uzumaki. A story I had watched on a screen.

The shock was so intense I almost threw up my lunch ramen. My first kiss was with Sasuke! I saw it on a monitor, and now I have the first-person memory! And that's not even close to the worst thing that's going to happen to me!

I looked at the crowd and saw Hinata Hyuga, shy and adorable.

That's when my attention returned to that word floating in my vision. Falna. The system gave me a brief, horrifying explanation. I could turn people into fantasy heroes, boosting their abilities to absurd levels. It was the perfect tool to change the future.

There was just one small, tiny, incredibly problematic detail about the activation ritual.

My eyes landed on Hinata again, who blushed instantly.

"WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS POWER, A DOUJIN AUTHOR!?"

My path to Hokage is no longer about hard work. It's about exploiting my Otaku knowledge, surviving puberty a second time, and convincing the strongest kunoichi to let me... "update their status."

Sounds way better than "drawing on their backs." I guess.

Tags: Harem, Adventure, Action, R-18, First Intercouse