Hogwarts, i am Dementor

After Potions class on Thursday morning, Cohen tossed the wrapped tracking potion to Ron.

"I had Earl go to Diagon Alley to buy it. The shopkeeper said this flavor is better for rats," Cohen said.

They were hurrying to their next class, which was their first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson of the term.

"Thanks a million!" Ron said gratefully. "How much do I owe you—"

Ron was about to ask the price, but then he remembered Cohen's spending habits and changed his mind.

"Or you could just tell me how many years of allowance I'd have to save up to afford it..."

"Emmmmm..." Cohen recalled the production process, the value of the Chimera ingredients, and the special guidance from the black goat head. "Your monthly allowance in the summer is five Sickles, so that's only ten Sickles a year... That means... forever... and ever... and ever and ever..."

"You don't need to say any more," Ron said sadly.

"Hey, did you guys hear?" Seamus Finnigan asked, waving a newspaper as he approached Cohen and the others. "Sirius Black has been sighted—"

"Where?" Harry asked curiously.

"Not too far from here, in a Muggle village – of course, the Muggle just thought he was a regular criminal, so they called the hotline. By the time the Ministry people got there, he was long gone," Seamus said. "The Daily Prophet works fast, too. Something that happened yesterday evening is already in this morning's paper."

"Gotta get the scoop," Cohen said.

"Not too far from here..." Ron said meaningfully, looking at Harry.

They had discussed it on the train – Sirius Black was coming to kill Harry.

When they arrived at the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, they found that Lupin wasn't there, so they just took out their textbooks and quills, chatting about the escaped prisoner and lunch.

"Good afternoon," Lupin said as he returned to the classroom close to when the lesson was about to start. "Please put your textbooks away. Today's lesson will be a practical one, and you'll only need your wands."

"A practical lesson?" Ron still had vivid memories of the pixies from the previous year.

"If Lockhart were still the professor, would he bring in a Dementor as a teaching aid?" Cohen was imagining a funny scene – no, wait, that would just mean the Dementor would eagerly help Cohen "pop the tops" off the whole class's "soda."

Lupin led them down the corridor. They passed Peeves, who zoomed by, but once Peeves noticed Cohen in the group, he grumbled and wandered off.

They made their way to the door of the staff room, a long room filled with old chairs, which gave the impression that most professors didn't linger there for long.

"Alright, come this way a bit, and form a line," Lupin instructed, gesturing towards the back of the room where there was an old wardrobe, usually used for storing robes.

But robes wouldn't be shaking and banging inside a wardrobe.

"Ah!" Parvati cried out in fright.

"No need to worry," Lupin said. "There's a Boggart inside."

"A what?" Harry asked Cohen, who was standing in front of him in line, looking confused.

"It's a shapeshifter that can turn into whatever it thinks will scare us the most," Cohen whispered back to Harry. "But I wouldn't keep one of those in my case. Norbert and the others would tear it to pieces and eat it."

"Ugh..." Harry felt a bit queasy at the gory thought.

"I'm actually kind of curious about what I'm afraid of..." Cohen said.

What am I afraid of? A Patronus?

A Boggart turning into various Patronuses would be too much to handle – and considering I can block mental probes, it's quite possible the Boggart would do that.

Because the majority of Cohen's "ingredients list" is Dementor, and many magical creatures can tell.

If that happens, Hermione and the others will quickly figure out that I'm a Dementor – Cohen wasn't sure if they would accept that.

After all, Basilisks and Chimeras are animals with forms, while Dementors are pure negative emotion – no one likes Dementors, except for people with weird kinks who are even into the black cloaks.

Cohen decided to leave a small opening in his mental defenses for the Boggart to peek through, so it could successfully transform.

There must be something else I'm afraid of. A Patronus would at most just bump into me; it wouldn't reach the level of "fear"...

Soon, the practical part of the lesson had begun.

Neville was up first; he became the first brave soul to face the Boggart.

"Laughter is what finishes a Boggart," Lupin said. "If Neville succeeds, the Boggart will then move on to each of us in turn. I want you all to think now of what scares you most, and picture how you might make it look ridiculous..."

After counting down from three, Lupin opened the wardrobe door.

Unsurprisingly, the Boggart first transformed into Professor Snape.

"Riddikulus!" Neville squeaked.

Snap!

"Snape" was suddenly wearing a lacy dress and a huge hat topped with a stuffed vulture.

Few people could see that scene without bursting into laughter. It was like suddenly seeing your usually stern, bald head teacher wearing a frilly pink dress.

"Parvati, you're up!" Lupin called out.

Parvati's fear was a bloodstained mummy.

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"Riddikulus!"

The mummy completely fell apart.

"Seamus!"

Next was a terrifying banshee.

...

After Ron's spider started skidding around on the floor, it was Cohen's turn.

Lupin was also curious about what Cohen would fear – he kept a close eye on the Boggart's form.

The enormous spider collapsed on the floor, its many black eyes fixed on Cohen, as if trying to find fear within him.

Its body was gradually becoming translucent and white – it was clear that, just as Cohen had expected, it wanted to transform into a Patronus to scare away the "Dementor" in front of it.

Cohen left a small opening in his thoughts, allowing the Boggart with its strong survival instinct to find something more "terrifying" for Cohen.

But as the Boggart glimpsed "what Cohen feared," Cohen also saw the image it locked onto.

This wasn't something suitable to show in this classroom, nor was it something Lupin should see – because Lupin would definitely tell Dumbledore.

So, Cohen switched the "fear" he was revealing to the Boggart to "anxiety," causing the Boggart to transform into something else.

Snap!

It turned into a Dementor – but not just any Dementor, it was holding someone in its grasp...

It was Harry!

[Care for a bite?]

The Boggart even mimicked the Dementors' mental communication.

[You're a real genius,] Cohen replied, his lips twitching.

"Me?" Harry asked in surprise, looking at the unconscious version of himself held by the Dementor.

This is what Cohen's afraid of?

Harry felt a little touched.

Lupin looked at Cohen with a complicated expression. It seemed he had to completely revise his first impression of Cohen – Cohen really cared about his friends, which reminded Lupin of his own friends.

And Cohen himself was indeed anxious about this, worried that the Dementors might find some important people while looking for his "packed lunches" – like Harry, which would definitely bring an angry Dumbledore down on his head.