How to Live as a Genius Scholar in another World

Chapter 39 – The White Mage (8)

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—–CROW—– 

“…Excuse me?” Usrate asked, his expression like he’d been expecting a jab to the ribs but got stabbed in the gut instead. I nodded and explained my symptoms in detail.

“My penis, you know, my dick.  It’s, like, two or three times bigger than it used to be, both in length and girth.  And the amount I cum… it’s not even comparable.  It’s causing… difficulties with my girlfriend.”

Usrate’s eyes darted towards my lower body. The feeling was so goddamn creepy that I growled,

“Watch where you’re looking. Would you appreciate it if I stared at *your* dick?”

“Oh, my. I-I apologize.”

Only attention whores and gay guys enjoyed having their dicks stared at by other dudes.

They said that in any group of four men, one was bound to be gay. Luckily, it was just the two of us.  Usrate, apparently not gay, quickly averted his gaze.

“Ahem. I see.  Penile enlargement… Are there any other side effects?  And what about the magic’s primary effect?”

“No other side effects that I’ve noticed. The magic itself enhances physical abilities.”

“Hmm. Is that so?  I understand.”

This guy was totally jealous.  It was so obvious, I wasn’t even surprised.

A dick enlargement spell with no side effects? If it could be stabilized, it would be worth a fortune.  As long as *I* wasn’t the guinea pig.

“Ahem. This seems to be a type of variant magic,” Usrate said after clearing his throat repeatedly.

“The pattern revealed by suggests as much. Magics that mimic divine power often exhibit variant characteristics.”

“…So it seems.”

Variant magic.

It was a type of transformation magic, but different from the usual polymorph spells.

The key difference between “transformation” and “variant” magic was whether the caster could voluntarily undo the change.

Normal transformation magic could be reversed by disrupting the mana flow or by the caster’s will.

Variant magic, however, was permanent. The transformation was fixed, and even if the caster died, they wouldn’t revert to their original form.

Therefore, variant magic often had negative connotations, like curses or magical side effects.  Like the Frog Prince in fairy tales, or the movie *Fly*, where the protagonist merges with a fly.

‘Like, erotic transformation is transformation magic, and Devil Fruits are variant magic.’

And my case was closer to variant magic.  My dick-anaconda had been up for over a day, regardless of my will.

Fortunately, I had suspected something like this, so I wasn’t too shocked.  A big dick wasn’t a big problem.

‘The important thing is whether there will be any further mutations.’

King Ghidorah dick or lesbian scissor-sex wedding?  That was the question.

Wow, what a fucked-up choice.  Talk about balanced horror.

Having a firehose dick for my sex life with Francesca was terrifying, but a lesbian orgy wasn’t something I could handle either.

‘Please, let there be no more weird shit!’

I was about to ask a question when Usrate, with a concerned expression, said,

“It seems quite serious.  Enough for you to rush to our guild for advice instead of consulting with the university…”

It sounded fake as hell, but I was too busy formulating my next question to process it properly.

“No, going back to the university would take too much time.  I’m in the field.”

That was my mistake.

“…Excuse me?  In the field…?”

Usrate’s eyes widened.  I looked at him, wondering what was wrong, and his expression slowly morphed into a mixture of disbelief and mockery.

“Haha! I thought you were sent from Carmine University to investigate the newly discovered ruin.  Just a field researcher with a master’s, huh?  How foolish of me.”

Yeah, you’re a dumbass. Usrate’s stupidity was astounding.

It took at least a week to travel from Ainhir, where Carmine University was located, to here.  Did he think someone would have arrived so soon after the ruin was discovered?

Did he think I teleported? If it was important enough to warrant teleportation magic, I wouldn’t have come alone. It would have been a whole team. And we wouldn’t be asking a washed-up old geezer like him for advice.

“Well, this is…”

The idiot, finally reaching the obvious conclusion, suddenly drew a line and looked down on me.

“Mr. Wayne, I apologize, but I have some urgent matters to attend to, so I must excuse myself.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m truly sorry.  I’ll send one of my apprentices who specializes in magical history.  It would be more… appropriate for you to speak with them.”

What the actual fuck?

This guy’s talent for pissing people off was incredible.

Should I just kill him? One murder could save me three headaches.

But unlike that quack blacksmith, this guy was a member of the Mage’s Guild.  Even if I was pissed, I couldn’t just beat him up without considering the consequences.

“Wait here. My apprentices are all diligent, so they’ll be here soon.”

The washed-up racist said that and left without looking back. I squeezed out the last of my patience, leaned back on the sofa, and sighed deeply.

‘Okay, think positive.’

This guy thought I was from Carmine University and probably wanted a piece of the pie.  Even if the misunderstanding hadn’t been cleared up, it’s unlikely I would have gotten a proper consultation.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

“…Where the hell is this asshole?”

Us-the-racist never showed up.  My blood boiled.

“Why!!! Isn’t!!! He!!! Coming!!!?”

It felt like two hours had passed!  Maybe I was exaggerating, but it had definitely been over an hour!  If you were going to leave someone hanging, the least you could do was send someone else quickly!!!

“*Grrrrrrrr…!!!*”

*Whoosh!*

I snapped. I headbanged, then jumped up from the sofa.  I stormed out the door, fuming, and spotted a woman passing by.

“Excuse me.  I have a question.”

“Eek?!”

The female mage flinched and cowered as I approached.  Why was everyone reacting like this?  Was my costume that scary?

“I apologize for startling you, but do you know where Mr. McIver is?”

“P-please spare me! His lab is on the third floor!”

“Thank you. Consider yourself spared.”

I thanked her, found the stairs, and headed up.

Walking through the guild reminded me of my slave days at Carmine.  It was all because of the damn confusing layout.

“Where is that bastard?!”

As I stomped around, my enhanced hearing picked up a faint conversation.  Beast Regression had boosted my physical abilities, including my hearing.

“Are you going to keep slacking off? Do you plan to spend the rest of your life as my lab assistant?”

That annoyingly husky voice.  It was Usrate.

But the conversation I overheard stopped me dead in my tracks.

“What is this handwriting? A thesis should demonstrate basic courtesy before anything else. This is for mages far more knowledgeable than you.  How can you submit something like this?”

…Huh?

“Or do you have some complaint about me?  Do you not want to work? Do you want to go home? Why aren’t you saying anything? Speak up!  What do you want me to do?”

“*Gwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!*”

I dropped to my knees and started groveling.

“I’m sorry! I was wrong! I didn’t do it on purpose! I’m still learning! No!  Absolutely not!  I’m sorry!  I’ll fix it!  I’ll do better next time! Please give me another chance… wait a fucking minute!!!”

I had instinctively kowtowed like it was a reflex, but then I realized it couldn’t be directed at me.  No one in this guild knew me!

I must have looked like a complete idiot, but I couldn’t help it.

The words I had just heard were exactly the same as the shit the professors at Carmine University used to give me!!

‘Holy fuck. Even the tone is the same!’

Speak↘ up↗?  Did they have a fucking thesis on how to talk down to graduate students?

He was speaking Britannian, but the tone was like a Chinese person slapping you back and forth with a sandal.  This *xīng sòng xiàng xiāo* motherfucker.  Furious, I stormed towards the source of the voice.

—*Stomp, stomp!*

The source of that shitty tone was below a second-floor window.  I was briefly surprised that I had heard it from so far away, then my anger took over, and I looked down.

“If you keep acting like this, you’ll spend the rest of your life as a lab assistant mage. Don’t you understand?”

There was an old man and a young woman in the garden below.

They were alone in a secluded spot, so I didn’t have to guess who the owner of that shitty tone was.  As I had suspected, it was that asshole Usrate.

I recognized the young woman and was shocked.

“Tirshi?”

It was the mage I had worked with during the sewer reconnaissance.

Her outfit was different.  Back then, Tirshi’s clothes screamed, “I’m a mage!”  Now, she was wearing something resembling a nurse’s uniform.

A pink miniskirt, a nurse’s cap, white tights, and a lab coat.  She was also wearing a light blue disposable mask and gloves. It looked like she had been called away from an experiment.

“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself in front of your parents? They scraped together their savings to get you into the guild, Tirshi. You should work harder and show them some results.”

Usrate lectured, tapping Tirshi’s shoulder with a bundle of papers in his hand.

“I wasn’t even asking for much. I just invited you to a social gathering, but you kept saying, ‘No, no, no.’ So I acknowledged your academic enthusiasm and gave you some work. But this is how you repay me?”

“…But…”

“—Oh, forget it. All you do is make excuses.”

Usrate cut Tirshi off and tossed the bundle of papers at her. The papers scattered on the ground as Tirshi failed to catch them.

*Thwack!*

*Flutter.*

“…Ugh.”

“I’ll take these back for now.  Bring them back when they’re readable. Or… I’ve been invited to a party with some acquaintances. Would you like to join us?”

—*Step.*

Usrate stepped on the scattered papers and moved closer to Tirshi, casually trying to put his arm around her shoulder.

“If we have some drinks and you chat with some mages and scholars from other schools… your writing might become more… ‘readable,’ don’t you think?”

“…!!”

*Slap!!*

A sharp sound echoed from the garden.  Tirshi had swatted Usrate’s hand away before it could touch her. Usrate smirked at her glare.

“…Miss Tirshi, you’re smart, but you don’t understand how the world works.  That’s why you’re still stuck at 8th-rank.”

“…If you hadn’t interfered with my evaluation, I wouldn’t be stuck under you…!”

“Hahaha! Interfered? You misunderstand.”

Usrate chuckled, amused by Tirshi’s barely contained anger.

“Do you know how damaging it is for a mage to have ‘Failed Promotion Evaluation’ on their record? I simply asked a favor from an acquaintance, hoping to wait until you were skilled enough to pass.”

“I never asked for such favors!”

—*Rip!*

Tirshi tore off her mask and shouted, her voice trembling with emotion.

“If it weren’t for you…!  If it weren’t for you bullying your apprentices, Hilda and Bethmier would still be in the guild!!  If it weren’t for you…!!”

“Call me Master. And what’s the point of dwelling on the past?”

Usrate interrupted Tirshi, bored.

“They left by choice. You can return to Romania anytime you want. If you have the courage to throw away the five years you spent here.”

*Spit!*

Usrate spat on the ground and took out a handkerchief to wipe his flushed hand.

“And Miss Tirshi, just a friendly reminder… don’t think I’m unaware of the little schemes you’re cooking up behind my back.”

“…Ugh?!”

The blood drained from Tirshi’s face.  Usrate smiled, finally satisfied.

“No matter how much evidence and testimony you gather, all it takes is a few carrier pigeons to my acquaintances, and it’s game over.”

He put away his handkerchief, took out a comb, and smoothed his slicked-back hair.  He had the look of a man confident in his victory.

“Think carefully about my offer. The doors of opportunity are always open to the young—…huh?”

But he couldn’t finish his sentence. He heard something falling from above.

*Whoosh!!*

—*Thud!!*

“*Uurgh!!!*”

“*Kyaah?!*”

The two were startled by the sudden intruder.  A cloud of dust rose from the garden as they stumbled back in surprise.

No point hiding it. The intruder was me.

*Crackle…*

*Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh—*

The green aura of Beast Regression emanated from my body.

When I saw the blatant injustice unfolding before me, my vision turned red, and Beast Regression activated without any incantation, engulfing my entire body.

No chanting.

I had unconsciously activated the technique that mages only achieved after years of rigorous training.

It was mind-blowing, but such trivial thoughts didn’t even cross my mind.

Only one thing mattered.

The professors who had exploited me at Carmine University.

“—How can you say such things?”

I asked in a deep, rumbling voice, like magma boiling in hell.

I was afraid to comprehend what I had just witnessed. If I processed the injustice I had just seen, my patience and sanity would shatter like a delicate wine glass filled with boiling water.

“W-what are you doing, Mr. Wayne?!  Activating magic and jumping down in front of people like that!  You could have been hurt!!”

Usrate shrieked, clutching his chest.  I was about to lose it at his self-centeredness, even in this situation.

“…I overheard your conversation.  It seems you were making unwanted advances towards this woman, and when rejected, you resorted to petty retaliation.”

“R-retaliation? Don’t be ridiculous. Are you threatening me?  And your disrespectful tone… I’ll report this to the archaeological community—”

“—Enough. Shut the fuck up, you empty-headed bitch.”

“W-what?!”

I growled, cutting him off. I didn’t want to hear any more of his bullshit excuses.

Just one word.

If he had shown any remorse and apologized to Tirshi, I would have left them alone.

But he had crossed the line.

“…Why did you forget? Why do you repeat this?”

In my rage, I lost control.

The concern about the consequences of confronting him melted away like butter on a hot stone.

“You… you too… were once—”

Only one thing remained within me.

Uncontrollable rage.

“—You too were once someone’s graduate student.”

With a final lament, I surrendered to my fury.

“You motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Eek?!”

“*Uurgh!!!*”

My earth-shattering roar of hatred froze Tirshi and Usrate in their tracks!!!  Ignoring their reactions, I charged forward and grabbed the damn racist’s hair!!!

*Grab!!!*

*Crack!!*

“You make me wait and then you sexually harass your student?!”

“W-wait!  Just wait a—”

“Your mom! Your fucking mom, asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I channeled the power of Beast Regression and pulled on his hair, as if to rip it out by the roots!!!

*Rip!!!*

*Sizzle!!!*

“Vector—Circular Alopecia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“*Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*”

With a roar, I yanked on his hair, and a fistful of it came out in my hand.

—*Flutter, flutter.*

Hair whiter than the racist’s skin floated through the air of the Mage’s Guild.

—–CROW—– 

#Only READ at DarkstarTranslations