HP: Professor From Azkaban

"Why does he look a bit disheveled?"

Disheveled? William couldn't help but scrutinize Lockhart, who had just pushed the door open and entered. His robes were still the same glaringly bright green ones, neat and spotless, as if they had just been freshly pressed. His hairstyle was impeccable, not a single strand out of place, as though he had just applied hair wax. His smile revealed as many teeth as possible. Where was there any sign of dishevelment to speak of?

"You must be mistaken, Professor Singed. How is he disheveled? He looks like he's just gotten ready for a banquet."

Just gotten ready? William reconsidered the thought that had flitted through his mind and realized it was plausible. It wasn't a big deal, just a slight touch of obsessive cleanliness. It wasn't anyone's place to make snide remarks, whether as colleagues or even as friends.

"…"

"…"

"Exactly. If you ask me, the problem with your Alchemy class is that there are too few sessions. It should be included as an elective for third years, like the other subjects."

"Excuse me?" The Alchemy professor squinted, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.

"Alright, alright, it seems I should get some real work done. The special fertilizer likely won't be ready this month. After all, you can't always rely on dragon dung as the primary material for alchemical experiments, right?"

"Don't do that! Professor Sprout will kill me, especially this month. The Whomping Willow on the school grounds was injured, and fertilizer will probably be in short supply again."

"The Whomping Willow?"

Hearing the name, William was about to ask a question when a vibrant voice suddenly interrupted him.

"Ah, William, how was your first class?"

Lockhart, looking utterly radiant, approached the group of three. If William hadn't known that this professor had just finished teaching, like himself, he might have assumed Lockhart had won a major battle or made some groundbreaking discovery.

"Not bad. The students were quite obedient, and the classroom was orderly. I was a bit nervous at first, but it got better quickly."

"That's good to hear! It seems you've taken to it quite smoothly. How was the classroom atmosphere? Was it lively enough?" Lockhart gave his signature dazzling smile.

Lively?

William pondered for a moment. He had enjoyed himself, but the students forced to write essays likely didn't feel the same way.

Before William could respond, Lockhart answered his own question.

"Of course, of course, I'm not criticizing you, Professor William. It's just that during my many adventurous travels, I developed rather unique insights into Defense Against the Dark Arts—or, well, the new course name is too cumbersome. Let's just call it that. I've had more interesting experiences, that's all."

"This isn't about showing off, Professor William. I'm often burdened by my fame, but I'd much rather people focus on my abilities and my adventurous experiences. The students are very interested in my adventures, and that's fine. I just happen to excel in this area. I'm sure you'll be an excellent professor."

"..."

A long, uninterrupted string of words nearly left William dizzy. It took him a while to grasp the eager Professor's meaning. He was essentially here to teach William how to conduct his classes.

Of course, my magic for self-defense is a notch below his. He's a renowned adventurer, while I've only had a short time to self-study magic. I haven't even properly mastered nonverbal spells and have to rely on obscure knowledge to make up for it.

With that in mind, even though William didn't quite agree with Lockhart's teaching methods, he still patiently listened to him for quite some time.

Strange, why is it all theory and no practice? Is he holding something back?

While tactfully playing along and responding at appropriate moments, William tried to glean something useful. However, after a long time, he found nothing of real value; some of the knowledge Lockhart shared was outdated, seemingly based on unsystematic summaries from years ago.

That made the conversation increasingly tedious.

However, the other two professors who were listening in appeared intrigued. They chimed in with practical tips about managing class duration and capturing students' attention; most of the advice came from Adams, while the Alchemy professor only occasionally interjected to show he was still participating.

"Let's leave it at that, Professor William," Lockhart finally concluded his long-winded, uninspiring lecture. He waved his hand and left the staff lounge, flashing his unnaturally perfect smile as he departed.

Almost immediately after Lockhart left, Professor Singed pulled out a small mirror from a drawer and carefully examined his slightly receding hairline, a hint of competitive vanity in his expression.

"Thank goodness. I swear, since I graduated from Hogwarts, even Professor McGonagall hasn't lectured this much."

"Perhaps, maybe this Professor is powerful but not particularly skilled at teaching?" Adams cautiously offered one last defense for Lockhart. However, even he couldn't deny that Lockhart's ability to educate students was questionable.

"After all, book manuscripts can have their wording polished, but real conversations don't allow that much time for preparation," he added.

William was unsure as well.

From a professional standpoint, the stories in Lockhart's books seemed fine. However, based on their half-day interaction, it seemed like Professor Lockhart didn't even have a clear idea of what he was supposed to do in class.

Did he treat teaching as just recounting his adventures?

After all, being an adventurer and being a professor were two entirely unrelated professions. Not everyone could be like Bear Grylls, adept at giving thorough, professional explanations while adventuring.

Let alone the fact that this wasn't about narrating adventures but about teaching a structured course.

Regardless, William had no intention of heeding any of Lockhart's useless suggestions. He even suspected that Lockhart's lectures were so dry that students only attended with a 'since I'm already here' attitude.

However, such a suspicion seemed far too insulting for a full-fledged professor, so William decided not to share his opinion.

By the evening, during his break, William quickly discovered that this opinion was not his alone.

***

Whether it was because Professor Lockhart had annoyed another professor by rambling on about his adventures to everyone he met, or because his attempts to portray himself as a genius in all aspects rubbed someone the wrong way, the entire Hogwarts staff and student body; including the ghosts, had learned by dinner what had happened that afternoon.

While teaching the second-year students, Professor Lockhart had brought a cage full of highly aggressive pixies into the classroom. What followed was a disaster that lasted an hour and a half.

Reportedly, it took the house-elves a full thirty minutes to restore the classroom to its original state. An impressive feat, considering they could usually clean up even the messiest rooms in mere moments.

"That was just the first lesson; and the hospital wing already admitted three students!"

"It seems Professor Lockhart hasn't quite grasped the difference between a school and the jungles he explores in his adventures."

"..."

"…"

Among the various comments circulating, nearly every professor reached the same consensus. Professor Lockhart might be a great adventurer, but he was undoubtedly a terrible teacher!

....

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