HP: The Big Bad Wolf

[Part 2: Flashback, flashback, flashback, and yet another flashback.]

[Flashback Number One!]

"Who's this little shithead sitting in my chair? Yo, piss guzzler, get outta ma fucking chair before I beat your ass till your mama thinks you've changed teams, you little ass face," the portrait of the bald man dressed in green cursed.

"Salazar, for God's sake, just shut the fuck up. We all agreed on mutual silence for at least five decades before we start talking again, and you go and make so much noise. What's pissing you off this time?! Is it you having to watch me be silent?!" Another male voice sounded angrily and sarcastic from the other side of the room.

"I hate seeing your fucking face, but it's not about that this time! There's a fuckin' intruder in our office, and the bastard has the gall to sit his arse down in my chair. IN. MY. CHAIR. This is where I sit down!" Salazar shouts back.

"Huh?! There's really someone here?!" The other dude exclaims in shock.

"Aren't you dead?" I question, unbelieving that the portraits are actually enchanted ones. I thought there were no portraits of the founders around, but seems I was mistaken.

"What? Really?! A student has entered?" A female voice adds into the mix, very excited.

"Really fascinating! How long has it been? I think this is the first person in like eight or nine centuries to actually enter, and he was able to look past the obvious," the sex bomb of a woman dressed in blue and silver robes says with a voice that is just way too seductive.

"Who the fuck gives a fucking fuck about him being here??!! The real fucking issue is that he is sitting his dirty ass in my chair!" Salazar shouts angrily.

*SIGH*

*SIGH*

*SIGH*

"He still has his compulsion about the things he owns!" says Godric annoyed in a defeated tone.

"You guys remember how he exploded that one time I drank from his cup?" Hufflepuff says with an amused tone.

"Yeah, he literally started labelling anything with his name and face to shout at people that it is his, and that you are to fucking stay away from it," Ravenclaw chimed in happily.

"I never went around and used your stuff, you idiots, but you went after my stuff! You fucking thieves!" Slytherin replies annoyed.

"Well, true, but we offered you to use ours if it makes it up to you. You just did not want to," Godric replies.

"Yeah, as if I'd do that, moron!" Slytherin replies.

"Who you calling a moron, moron!" Gryffindor throws back.

"I call you one because you are one!" Slytherin shouts back, annoyed.

"Is that so? Okay then wanna hear something funny!! I have always used your towels because they were the only cleaned ones, and I even Accioed them whenever I needed them to wash my hands after taking a shit!" Gryffindor replies.

"You are lying!"

"Am I?! You'll never know!"

"I'll kill you, you fucking unhygienic bastard!"

"We are all already dead, moron!"

"Wow?! These two get along as well as ever," Hufflepuff says, amused.

"This is why we agreed on five decades of silence because these two idiots cannot help themselves but fight," Ravenclaw adds while shaking her head.

"Are these two gonna stop pretty soon, or does this go on for a very long time?" I finally asked.

"Ignore them, my boy. These two have always been like this. Tell me, how did you find this place?" Hufflepuff asks me.

"Well, Lady Hufflepuff, I was aware of this peculiar room, but had not yet the time to explore it, and today when I was walking past the place, I did wonder why one would create such a room in the first place..." I started lying, but I did not get very far before I was interrupted.

"Okay, and now the truth, please," Ravenclaw says.

"Huh?!" I manage to utter.

"Boy, we might be old, maybe even ancient, but we are not idiots!" Slytherin, who has stopped fighting with Gryffindor, says.

"This room is created and enchanted by all four of us, and unless the person trying to enter knows exactly what he or she is looking for, it is impossible to end up in this hall," Gryffindor says.

"You have to know the room's intended purpose and its name to be led here, and as we are all dead, it is surprising for you to have found your way in here!" Hufflepuff adds.

"Why?" I question.

"None of us can have any disciples, well, for obvious reasons. Also, while alive, we were oath-bound to only share the existence of this room if all four of us agreed upon it. But Mr. Bald and mean here decided to go rogue, and this room lost, or rather was stopped from achieving its intended purpose, Ravenclaw says, annoyed.

"Well, I only did that because you three idiots decided that it was a great idea to invite those backstabbing assholes!" Slytherin shouts, annoyed.

"They were being killed, you damn moron! What did you expect us to do? Watch them get slaughtered?!" Gryffindor shouts, annoyed.

[A/N: I am so close to get political here, but I will stop myself! This scenario is just hitting too close to reality for me.]

"I expected you to have them swear oaths, to bind them, to in some forms guarantee our security first, but nah, Ms. Smart, Mrs. 'I see the future,' and Mr. 'Strong and independent' went on to create troubles without any safety nets, and it came back to bite us in the ass, did it not?!" Slytherin replies in a sarcastic voice.

"Anyway, boy, you see this secret has never been revealed so either you tell us the truth, or we kick you out of here!" Gryffindor says while focusing on me, and completely ignoring Slytherins remarks.

"And no lying! This room is enchanted! We know when you are lying, a truth serum has nothing on this room, and even your Occlumency is not enough to hinder us from noticing it!" Slytherin adds proudly with an evil smirk.

"How?" I question them.

"Actually, that is one of my more genius ideas! I matched the runes to the ley line going under Hogwarts and boosted the runes to an insane level, by combining Astronomy and Ley Lines. I tell you, the sheer insanity of work I had to put into doing the calculations had me happy and satisfied for months." Ravenclaw says smugly with a dreamy look on her face.

*Sigh*

*Cough* *Workaholic* *Cough*

"What did you say?" Ravenclaw asks Gryffindor.

"Nothing." he replies.

"I will only speak the truth if my secrets stay, well, secret," I interrupt them before the situation can devolve into what it was like earlier.

"And whom are we to share your secrets with?! It is not like we get guests in here pretty often, seeing how you are literally the first person ever to enter here," Slytherin says sarcastically.

"I get your worries, boy, but they're unnecessary," Hufflepuff says.

I go on to answer their questions about anything they ask, and if they did not ask, I did not answer. After all, I cannot lie in here, but I don't have to disclose everything willingly.

"So you have a magical sonar of some sort that feeds back to you of how your surrounding looks and what secrets there are, and what things of interest?" Ravenclaw asks me, shocked, as she is trying to wrap her mind around my map ability.

"How is that even working?" Slytherin starts wondering.

"I don't know," I reply honestly, as I don't know how that deity has achieved this feat.

"Damn, in comparison, me giving my bloodline the ability to speak Parseltongue is just nothing," Slytherin says in shock.

"I think we should stop questioning him for now," Hufflepuff says.

"Why?" Gryffindor asks curiously.

"Well, he is our guest and has managed to find this place! As such, he is eligible to become our disciple, our first disciple, may I add! I don't want to inquire into my disciple's every secret. If he wants to share, I will listen, but I will show him trust and hope that he will trust in me when he is ready," Hufflepuff says.

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