HP: Too Late, System! I’m Already the DADA Professor

Stepping out of the dungeons and into the bustling main hall, Douglas found himself greeted by cheerful waves from several students passing by.

It instantly lifted his mood.

"Ah, such pure-hearted children," he mused. "If only they knew that, thanks to me, they'll soon have one more thing to memorize for Potions class!"

He was convinced that, if the students ever learned it was his doing, they'd thank him from the bottom of their hearts. After all, as long as they memorized those classroom rules, they could dodge Professor Snape's infamous tongue-lashings.

This wasn't some sudden whim to play the villain.

No, there was a method to his madness: the system's year-end "Most Beloved Teacher" award. And that wasn't based on student votes, but on how much his fellow professors approved of his educational contributions.

Back in his office, Douglas opened his system panel and skimmed through the points he'd earned after a week of hard work.

Thirty-five classes in total this week.

Student Satisfaction:

20 classes scored 9 or above: 40 points11 classes scored 8–9: 10 points4 classes scored below 8: 4 points

Assignment Completion:

8 classes scored 9 or above: 0 points22 classes scored 8–9: 20 points5 classes scored below 8: 4 points

Student Progress:

12 classes scored 9 or above: 20 points15 classes scored 8–9: 10 points8 classes scored below 8: 6 points

Class Participation:

...

Douglas groaned and looked away.

"The road ahead is long and winding… er, what's the next line again?"

He decided thirty-five classes a week simply wasn't enough. If he truly wanted Hogwarts students to become top scholars, he'd have to implement morning reading, early exercises, evening study halls—the works.

All for the children!

Just as he was sighing over his noble ambitions, a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in," Douglas called.

In marched the Weasley twins, faces brimming with confidence.

"Professor, we can recite the textbook from memory now!"

"Yeah, Professor, we stayed up all night memorizing!"

Douglas eyed them up and down, then produced two thick notebooks. Raising an eyebrow, he declared,

"Well, well, who knew Hogwarts was hiding such prodigies?

All right, let's see you write it out from memory."

George and Fred exchanged a baffled look.

"You're the dragon?"

"You're the phoenix?"

They both shook their heads, then grinned.

Smack!

Douglas slammed his hand on the desk, putting on his most professorial air.

"What are you staring at? Got words written on your faces? Get to work!"

The twins shot each other another look, blinking. Why didn't we think of tattooing the answers on our faces? But they obediently moved to his desk, each grabbing a quill from the pen holder.

Fred glanced back at Douglas, who was now brewing tea at the side table. He signaled to George, and with a quick sleight of hand, swapped his ordinary quill for an auto-answer quill—the kind that could write out answers automatically. They'd borrowed these from classmates, then had an older student load the entire fourth-year textbook into them.

With a conspiratorial grin, the twins began their "memory test," letting the enchanted quills scribble away. To keep up appearances, they occasionally furrowed their brows in deep thought, or shook out their wrists as if their hands were cramping.

To any casual observer, they looked like model students.

Douglas, meanwhile, seemed not to notice a thing. He sipped his tea and marked sixth-year homework, letting the minutes tick by.

Eventually, he checked the time, set his work aside, and addressed the twins:

"Let me see what you've got so far."

The twins, caught mid-performance, jumped at his voice but quickly recovered.

"Of course, Professor!"

"No problem, Professor!"

They swaggered over to the tea table, handing over their "work."

One glance at the neat, uniform handwriting, and a smirk crept across Douglas's face. As if I wouldn't notice their little tricks. He closed both notebooks, took a sip of tea, and fixed them with a look.

"What are you waiting for? Time to recite!

George, you start."

"Ah!"

The twins' faces twisted in dismay. Nobody said there'd be a recitation!

Watching their squirming, Douglas gave a cold chuckle.

"Auto-answer quills from Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop in Hogsmeade always leave a particular style of script…

Shall I go on?"

He'd used auto-answer quills for years and could spot the quirks of every brand in the wizarding world. The moment he saw their notes, he knew exactly which shop they came from. Besides, he didn't believe for a second that the twins were memory geniuses who could master the entire textbook overnight.

What would that do to Miss Granger's reputation as Hogwarts' walking encyclopedia?

But the twins had no clue. They looked utterly crushed, as if their world had ended.

And it wasn't the homework they were worried about—no, it was the thought of losing those precious auto-answer quills. Those things weren't cheap; if they got confiscated, they'd owe a whole Galleon, at least. No wonder they'd borrowed them from friends.

Douglas seemed to read their minds. He handed the notebooks back.

"Here's the deal: no matter how late it gets, if you can memorize everything you wrote, I won't confiscate your quills.

But if you can't, it's simple—quills go to me.

And I'll have Percy write a letter to your mother…"

George and Fred turned pale.

"We'll do it! We'll memorize it all! Please, don't tell Mum!"

"Yeah, Professor, could you maybe ask Percy to stop sending so many letters home?"

Defence Against the Dark Arts Office.

2 a.m.

Douglas yawned over his book as the exhausted twins waved at him.

He lifted the Muffliato charm from his ears.

"You've memorized it?"

The twins nodded frantically.

Douglas took their auto-answer quills and added a quick spell.

"All right, start reciting. These quills will now record every word you say, and underline any mistakes as you go."

"…"

The twins were speechless. You can do that?

Actually, automatic dictation was a basic feature of auto-answer quills, and these happened to have the textbook loaded in. Douglas had simply added a temporary marking function.

Heh, everyone had been a student once. Back in the day, he and Bill had invented half the tricks in the book.

Compared to that, these Weasley twins were still a little green.

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