human evolution

You keep saying 'my ancestor did this,' and 'my ancestor said that,'" Jackob said, squinting. "How old is this guy?"

Liz smiled. "My grandfather, to be exact. I just call him 'ancestor' because he enjoys the title. A bit dramatic. He turns 1,399,005 in a few weeks."

Jackob choked. "Mother f**ker."

He slapped a hand to his forehead.

"And here I was, dreaming of living to a hundred and having some grandkids. Screw that. New plan—live for a million years, raise a legion of mini-Jackobs, and bring humanity back to its golden age."

He leaned back, eyes glazing over as his mind spiraled into delusion. He saw himself flying, shooting lightning from his fingertips. Behind him, an armada of ships the size of planets—all shaped like him, piloted by little versions of himself.

"Jackob the Eternal. Emperor of Flame. Lightning Lord of the Cosmos..."

Four full minutes passed.

Liz stood silent, arms crossed, expression darkening with every second.

"Snap out of it!" she finally yelled.

Jackob flinched back to reality, blinking like he'd just come back from a vision quest.

"…Right," he muttered.

He cleared his throat and tried to play it off. "How old are you, by the way?"

Liz arched an eyebrow.

"You know," she said, "it's considered rude to ask a lady her age. But I'll forgive you. You're an insolent slave, after all."

Jackob gave a weak smile. "Thanks?"

"I'm 202,000," she said calmly.

Jackob stared at her like she'd just confessed to being the ship.

"Two. Hundred. Thousand?"

"I know what you're thinking," Liz replied. "Yes, we Giants live long. By our standards, I've just become an adult."

Jackob's mouth opened. Nothing came out.

"I'm also considered the most beautiful lady in my sector," she added with a sly grin. "My future husband will be very lucky."

"Future... husband?" Jackob repeated slowly.

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly. "We Giants take the matter of choosing a mate very seriously. We're incredibly weak at reproducing. Our numbers are small—only a few hundred left across all territories."

Jackob blinked.

"And worst of all," Liz added, her voice growing wistful, "we can't mate with other species. Not because of pride — but biology. We're simply too big. The size difference is too vast. It's... incompatible."

She sighed. "I always regretted not being able to mate with one of the angel males. They're so adorable."

Jackob's face slowly morphed into a grimace.

Adorable?

Mating?

Angels?

His eye twitched.

His future wife wanted to mate with angel dudes?

He curled up slightly, muttering to himself. "To hell with it… I'm gonna start a war with the angels…"

Trying to change the subject, Jackob blurted, "What about a human knight? With bug armor?"

Liz gave him a flat stare. "Naaah. I pass."

Jackob raised a brow. "By the way... how are you talking to me so calmly without my ears bleeding?"

Liz's expression shifted.

"You want it like that?" she asked. Her voice suddenly surged, just a touch of her true tone seeping in.

Jackob screamed, clutching his head. "STOOOP! GODS, STAAAHHP!"

She rolled her eyes. "We learn from a young age to control our voice and strength around low-life creatures like you."

Jackob winced. His heart sank. Low-life creature… That's what his future wife thought of him?

He tried to reclaim some dignity.

"Of course you learned. You had two hundred thousand years! Even a dog could learn something with that much time!"

His voice was sharper than he intended. Maybe it was the whole angel mating thing. Maybe it was pride.

Liz's eyes narrowed.

"You forget your place, bug."