I am secretly a 12th Dimensional Eldritch God

*Blub* *Blub*

Sound of air bubbles travelling in the water reaches his ears.

Ears? Do I have ears? Should I have ears? Do I want ears?

I don't know…

First and foremost… who even am I?

*Blub!* *Blub!* *Blub!*

The noise from the bubbles increased and sounded agitated.

I know why.

That's because I felt shocked and terrified. But, that me isn't the same as myself. That me is the lesser me. A small fragment of consciousness that split off while I stayed in slumber from the moment of my birth.

That me is shocked that his sense of identity is slowly being torn apart and assimilated with me. A natural conclusion for a lesser mind trying to merge with a higher mind. Like pouring a cup of water into an ocean. However, it is undeniable that he is now a part of me as I am a part of him.

When I assimilated his memories, personality and ego. We became one. From there I gained a sense of self, identity and purpose…

That I am Ray.

———

(??? Ray's PoV)

Opening my eyes… If I still have one or if my eyes are still eyes, it feels strange.

I could see many things and I am not trying to exaggerate. But it felt like standing before a wall of TV screens numbered to thousands if not more. Each showing a different scene. Some I could recognise to be the past I had once experienced. Some are perhaps futures that I had yet to experience. Some are strange if not straight up bizarre things that give me a headache.

"What is happening?"

I tried to move my arm and clutch my aching head. But the sensation felt strange. My hand or hands, is no longer a familiar paw. But something else. Like my body itself is a mass of formless clouds.

When I tried to recall the missing piece of memories from my head as to how I reached my current state. An invisible force was trying to stop me. It felt annoying. But I subconsciously knew that whatever it is, I could break it very easily if I so wished.

So, I did.

Instantly, memories flow into my mind like a torrential river. Memories from my first life to my second life and also memories that I could only describe as my subconscious awareness of my surroundings.

Everything immediately became clear.

Everything up until the present and I meant everything.

From how the imposter wormed herself into my life and ruined everything. It was all a ruse and yet her act was simply too convincing and immaculate that I couldn't detect any flaw at all.

If I am still myself from my first life. I would probably comment something along the lines of 'it had been a fun run' and move on from it.

But I can't. Even if I wanted to, I simply can't. After all, even as I calmly talk to myself in this strange place. I could see from the numerous visions my eyes could glimpse into, my own self is rampaging from my own grief and trying to kill those Hunters who had ruined my life.

Although, calling him as me is incorrect. I am the collective unconscious existence of Ray created in the absence of the true soul as a placeholder. Like the nexus of a hive mind connecting his numerous awareness spanning numerous dimensions and plane of existence and abilities that govern the true body in the absence of the real owner.

Due to the nature of my existence, I am incapable of feeling the grief he felt. As I am above the need of emotions. Or rather, I am incapable of the biological reactions that facilitate the emotions.

For I am the Darkness, the Eternal Night, the All Devouring Abyss, the Bringer Of Twilight To Existence.

Or so, I thought.

———

(Ray's PoV)

Grief, regret or sorrow. Many emotions swirling in my mind. But the most intense one is definitely anger.

Anger at destiny itself for cursing me with such fate.

Anger at myself for allowing everything to reach this point.

Anger at my enemies for ruining my blissful life or perhaps it was a dream?

Who knows. It might be a dream all along. Ever since I have become what I am now. The lines between reality, illusion and dream had become very blurred.

"AHHHH!"

A roar more beastial than human once again caught my attention.

'Right… I forgot I was fighting someone.'

Before me is a man wreathed in a reddish black aura that is the Power of Destruction. A familiar power whose owner is none other than Sirzech Lucifer.

Everything in our surroundings had been reduced into nothingness. All that is left is a giant and near bottomless crater where we float.

Then, Sirzech once again vanished, or rather, moved with incredibly fast speed that he reappeared in front of me faster than a blink of an eye and punched his fist concentrated with Power of Destruction and turned into a massive beam that evaporated nearly my entire body.

'Is this pain?' I wondered as my body less limbs and head started to free fall from the sky.

There is definitely a sensation. A strange one but I could hardly call it pain. Perhaps it was but I simply forgot how pain should feel like or because it simply couldn't come close to the real pain I felt in my heart.

Black colored flame suddenly burst out from my wound and rapidly regenerated my missing body. An additional pair of wings even appeared behind my back.

It happens on its own and I could hardly call it natural because I could feel her, Ravel. Her soul that I had devoured and as a result I gained her Phenex Clan abilities. She desperately wishes to save me from dying and as a result, her own abilities triggered on their own.

This reminded me of something. An irreversible damage that I had done.

"That I had devoured them."

"I devoured them…"

"I killed them…"

"I have killed them." I thought absentmindedly while ignoring Sirzech in his frenzy had battered me with more attacks enhanced by Power of Destruction.

I know I should feel angry, sad and devastated. But, somehow my emotions become mute, suppressed or simply they have become detached.

"DIE! DIE! WHY WON'T YOU DIE!"

Sirzech, who is overwhelmed with anger and rage, roared his frustration no matter how hard he tried to exterminate every trace of my body. The black flame simply burns stronger and defiantly to keeps me alive.

I watched Sirzech and looked at his expression of anger. I felt like I could finally relate to him with how I ruined his happy family for my entertainment.

I thought, perhaps I do deserve such punishment after everything that I had done to others.

Perhaps…

"I do deserve to die…" I muttered as I shut my vision off.

Feeling my own will to stop resisting, the flame that is trying to heal my body becomes smothered.

I could feel myself sinking into the cold yet comforting embrace of death. It felt so comfortable that I wanted to sink forever and never to be awakened.

But things never went the way we wished.

"Don't… die…" A muffled voice screamed.

I could feel my consciousness slowly sinking and starting to be stirred awake.

"It's… not… your… fault…" Another voice said with sadness filling her voice.

"Don't… give… up… dad!" Another voice, much clearer, screamed with grief.

As my consciousness pulled away from the depth I am sinking into. Their voices became clearer and had more clarity.

I could recognise those voices now.

Ravel, Morgan and Sirin.

They are still here with me. Inside my mind, waiting for me is everyone. They all looked at me with various expressions. But their desire for me to survive and live is universal.

"Don't you dare die! We will never forgive you if you do!" They all said.

I immediately came to a realization.

"You all are still alive… inside me." I muttered.

"That's right! Urgh, acting so dramatic trying to commit suicide. Don't try to kick the bucket just like that. I don't want to lose my family for a second time…" Sirin went from angry to sad in such a short span of time.

"We are waiting for you, dear." Ryoko tried to cheer me up too as my daughters huddled up to me to give me the encouragement I needed.

I look at each of them while trying my hardest to hold back the surge of emotions that was previously muted.

"I will… I will definitely return." I said with a smile bloomed on my face before their figure vanished like a phantom. But, he could hear it. Their reply.

"We will be waiting." They said as they faded away with a smile of joy and relief.

—————

AN: Sorry, not sorry if you lose more brain cells. I lose even more rewriting this damn chapter a few times.

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