I Became a Burden to the Conscienceless Party

Irina had been one of the promising Saint candidates from before.
Not only her appearance but also her innate holy power was outstanding, so everyone could predict that Irina would become the Saint of the generation.
It actually happened that way, but unexpectedly, the process was not honorable.

“I will resign from the position of Saint candidate!”
“…”

She didn’t become a Saint by beating all the candidates, but by remaining alone in a place where everyone else had disappeared.
She had always been in a unique position among the Saint candidates, but the situation itself was flawed.

-It’s stupid.
-Don’t you know how the atmosphere is turning, seeing other candidates resign?
-They said she was the closest candidate to being a Saint, but her head is completely white too.

Moreover, the Celestial Order was in a bad situation. Because the previous Pope’s misconduct had gone too far.
No, what he did was insufficient to explain with the word misconduct.
He was a being deserving to be called a heretic and eventually met a fitting end.
But as usual, confusion comes to a group that executes its own king. If it’s accompanied by the loss of the most important symbolism, that country essentially becomes a ruined nation.
Yes, the Order collapsed.
It could be said that the situation was even worse than an ordinary country.
Their symbol had to be unique, and the moment they lost it, the place that should have been a sanctuary for people became essentially a prison without bars.

-I heard the Pope tried to become God himself? So they say the angry Celestial God disappeared, but are those guys still calling themselves the Celestial Order? Don’t they have any conscience?

The Celestial Order lost their God.
Because of one person’s greed. Because of a foolish heretic who tried to become God itself, not just worshipping God.
As a result, the Celestial God no longer spoke to the believers.
Oracles didn’t come down, and miracles didn’t happen.
What was left was only the holy power bestowed upon them when they were baptized.
It’s laughable that even that is now seen as a stigma.

“They’re strange people.”

Irina remained in such a place.
As a Saint who should have been the most honorable title originally, but now has become a symbol of foolishness.

“We were just meant to believe in and love the Celestial God, not to be beings expecting the Celestial God’s love. When on earth did the Order start demanding a two-way love from the Celestial God?”

She just wanted to have faith.
Because that’s how she was taught. Because she loved such a place. Is that wrong?
Is it so shameful to say you will worship God?
It’s not.
It can’t be.
She thought so, but…

“What?”

One day, an incident occurred where a mass of corpses was found in one of the monasteries belonging to the Celestial Order.
From children to adults. Everyone was found dead as if they had fallen asleep together.
The cause of death was starvation.
Not receiving support befitting the size of the Order, they all starved to death after struggling with hunger.
The shock was indescribable because the children weren’t being abused, and the nun running the monastery was sincere and kind.
Yes, they struggled but ultimately couldn’t withstand the hardship of life.

“Ah…”

Irina wept loudly in front of that horrific scene. She saw nuns who had died before the children.
Traces on the floor showed that the children had tried to drag them, unable to carry them, begging to save them.
Nevertheless, it was vivid in her mind how the children who finally collapsed exhausted had breathed their last, and other children watching them had given up on life one by one, waiting for the moment to slowly breathe their last in the arms of those they loved.
She felt sorrow. She knew the Celestial Order wasn’t what it used to be.
Yes, at first, she clearly thought it didn’t matter.
What’s more important, the power of the Order or the sincerity of the believers?
But religion had long since become a deeply rooted community in society.
Irina belatedly realized that. The real reason why the Celestial Order was considered truly fallen.

“Ah, I see. Being good and sincere alone wasn’t enough.”

At first, she protested.
She met the Pope of the time directly and reported the series of events and protested.
But she couldn’t finish her words. Because she saw. She saw what expression the infinitely tired Pope had.
Yes, it’s a situation where the previous Pope committed such an act. As a result, the Celestial Order shrank, and even Saint candidates stepped down one after another.
In such a situation, what kind of person would the next Pope be?

“Saint, I did my best.”
“The world wasn’t such a hopeful place. That’s why everyone hoped and wished for miracles.”

The Pope of the time was a scapegoat.
After being passed on and passed on, does the one who chose to bear that fate himself really not know about this?
The Pope said. He said with a heartbreaking feeling. That from now on, they would see more scenes like this.
It’s not that the Order didn’t support them. It’s just that even if they spent everything the Order had, they couldn’t handle it.
Because the Celestial Order was once the largest religious force, they had a lot of sponsorship and through that, they had increased the number of monasteries and churches.
And the reality is that the previous Pope did an incredibly stupid thing, making it impossible to handle that entire scale.
They can’t reduce the number of monasteries and orphanages as much as the Order has shrunk.
That would mean selecting people to let die.
Yes, so, because of that.
Everyone was hungry.
Everyone suffered together.
And among those who were suffering like that, the weakest died.
This is the reality of what was thought to have been intervened by someone’s malice.
The truth that had to die in the harshness of the world, not malice.

“Haha…”

It would have been better if someone had embezzled money in the middle.
If it had been a matter of clear malice, she would have at least resented it.
She would have at least blamed someone!
But it wasn’t like that.
The Order had already collapsed, and what remained in such an Order were all people who had endured only with responsibility and faith.
Yes, they all knew.
That a harsher winter would come from now on. That an unavoidable cold wave would come no matter how deep their faith was.

“This isn’t right.”

That’s why Irina decided.
If this happened because the Order became weak, she would make it strong.

“Sin shouldn’t be collective. One person bore the sin, so why should everyone bear it?”
“Saint.”
“Your Holiness, this can’t go on. Everyone shouldn’t bear the sin. Your Holiness, you’re in that position to bear that responsibility, aren’t you?”
“…That’s right.”

Irina stabbed the Pope’s heart with upright eyes.
She was driven to be a scapegoat.
That’s why she didn’t know how to do anything. She was just living as a still good and sincere believer.
No, just dying together.
It shouldn’t be like this. The people she should be responsible for are not just one or two.
She must support evil. She must immerse her body in filth. Even by doing so, she must stabilize the Order.

“If Your Holiness won’t do it, I will.”
“It will be an unforgivable act.”
“It’s okay if it’s not forgiven.”

Irina eventually decided to cover herself in filth instead of the Pope who couldn’t take responsibility. Before everyone froze to death in the cold wave, she had to light a fire even by cutting down living trees.
And she did so.
She actively grasped the forces within the Order. She used them to infiltrate political forces within the Empire.
She began to lie frequently.
She grabbed weaknesses and used evidence of actions that could be branded as heresy.
She came to suppress them with force.
Fortunately, although the Order’s authority had weakened, its power remained intact.
Because fanatics more devout than anyone else had bloodied their hands to purify the world under the name of inquisitors.
And now Irina had to stand at the forefront of them.
She grew the Order by committing acts that others pointed fingers at and cursed.
It was common for her white robe to be stained with blood, and she became accustomed to hearing people’s screams.
She expanded the Order’s power by shedding and causing the most blood to be shed.
And she concealed and deceived all of that and hung up a symbol of pure white.
Everything was a lie from the beginning.
A hypocrite hiding a twisted inner self with a mask of lies.
A ruler sacrificing the few for the many.
An unforgivable murderer.

“Ah, Celestial God. Celestial God who abandoned us. Please do not pity me. Denounce me as a witch, burn me, and bring down divine punishment.”

Even if it’s like that.
Yes, even if it’s like that!

“Even by doing so, please save those who are truly sincere and good.”

To be looked back upon.
Irina contained all the evil within the Order in the vessel that was herself.
The inside of the pure white porcelain was already filled with poison and ugliness.
The hope remaining in it is the driving force that keeps her going.
She is truly a vessel of loneliness.
She, who was living a life of dying while alive, wears ill-fitting clothes forcibly and gets hurt.
Yes, that’s how she lives.
And one day.

“Yes, you say a hero has appeared? I’ll prepare right away.”

Information that reached her ears.
The Celestial Order had already entered a period of stability. Although not as much as in the past, it had been raised to a position close to that.
But at the same time, it was also a limit.
It’s impossible to go further than this, and it’s also impossible to completely regain the past glory as things stand now.

‘It would be good to achieve the feat of defeating the Demon King with the hero, or if not, it would be good to make a holy relic imitating God’s glory with the hero’s corpse.’

But their God still didn’t exist, so the existence of the hero was the way to engrave the name of the Celestial Order as a wedge in history.

“Disguise this information as an oracle and spread the information that the Celestial God has given us a chance to make amends.”

Irina felt that it wasn’t awkward for her to speak lies.
On a day when she had become accustomed to the ill-fitting clothes and scars had piled up on wounds to the point where she couldn’t feel pain anymore.
It was the moment when something in her heart completely collapsed.