I Can’t Run Away From the Girl Who Saved Me

164 – Heart (6)

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In this world where so much has already disappeared, and everything that remains is terribly damaged.

I, Alice Goldfield, was also waiting to disappear, broken and gone.

Actually, I wasn’t very excited about the fact that I was going to die.

This old heart that sets my emotions on fire and spews out divine power in return.

I was the only one who survived wearing this, but I only had the dry feeling that even I was ultimately just a victim of this bizarre experiment.

Besides, when my heart was calm and not seething with anger, and I took advantage of those few moments of calm to think calmly, I saw no particular reason to regret death.

The sect had collapsed and fallen along with the world, her family had already died and returned to the side of the goddess, and even her fiancé in name only had found a new partner, so all human relationships that could be considered regrettable had disappeared.

Moreover, after I acquired this heart, I lived my life spewing out burning anger and divine power.

Those who committed heinous acts that were so horrible that it was shocking to even look at them were caught by hand and punished in a horrible way that no religion or law would allow, and those shameless sons of b*tches who trampled on our family were wiped out, even the innocent children.

Yet I have never once felt regret or guilt.

There was always a refreshing sense of accomplishment when I punished the wicked severely, and it was always satisfying to punish the children of the wicked who had grown fat by starving other people’s children.

It might seem too much to some, but I couldn’t hate those feelings that cooled down the hellish anger that was burning my brain.

For me, who had neither regrets nor anything precious to leave behind, the only task left was the Demon King’s neck.

And all it took was killing Balder Staff.

That’s why I pretended not to be able to resist Ash’s suggestion and went along with it.

While making proper preparations.

Even if my heart exploded during this journey and I fell behind or died, it didn’t matter.

I moved forward with my task until the end, and I had no regrets about my life.

…until now.

＊

Although it was rough and noisy, the sight of Ash defeating two giant monsters with his own strength was enough to warm my heart.

Even though she slumped down with a sense of accomplishment, her frowning brows in pain from the burns on her palms that had inadvertently touched the floor gave off a sense of decadence mixed with a hint of clumsy coquetry.

Ash.

Maria’s younger brother.

A piece of my regret, and a memory from my childhood.

And my only foolish desire.

It’s like a fucking heart,

I was annoyed at my heart that was creaking loudly without any warning, wondering what would happen if Ash heard it.

The only good thing was that Ash was dull.

Ash wasn’t sensitive enough to hear the thud of the thick chest armor.

Having dull ears, which sometimes convey more information than the eyes, was a fatal weakness for warriors and adventurers, but now Ash was very thankful for his poor hearing.

The hot heat that burned my chin was seeping from my chest, but I tried to ignore it and grabbed Ash’s hand, which was a mess from the burns.

“Ouch, it hurts, Sister.”

Ash’s palm, which he had held to treat her, was very soft despite the terrible burns.

The long, slender fingers and the prominent bones protruding from them were also cute.

Ash’s awkward smile and excuses at my needlessly ticking criticism, trying to hide his emotions and passion that he couldn’t control, were also incredibly cute.

Oh, shit.

My already hot heart burned even more as if I had poured coal into it.

I feel like I’m going to die.

I feel like my heart might burst at any moment.

Fortunately, Ash’s burns were enough to heal just by placing my palm on it, as his wildly beating heart scattered divine power in all directions.

“So, it doesn’t hurt anymore?”

“Hehe, since I have my older sister, I can do things without worrying about it.”

Thump, thump, thump.

ah,

Please, you fucking heart.

I’m telling you to be a little more mindful.

I cried out in my mind, almost pleading, unlike usual.

Of course, this scrap metal has never moved the way I intended.

Ah, Ash.

How sweet and tempting it is to hear that you trusted me and pushed yourself.

Did you know?

When I was young, I was a naive and innocent kid,

When did that brat who secretly placed a gecko on my back and ran away become such a vicious man who bewitches women?

“…”

I know.

That I have no chance.

There is no physical time, no future with him for me.

It’s a shame that I chose a woman like Sylvia, but the best I can do is to not cause any confusion for Ash, who is with the person he chose for himself and not through a political marriage.

I knew everything.

That’s why I tried to explain to Ash again.

You can’t rely on me.

Don’t get used to my presence.

“Ash… I,”

Above all, I knew all too well that this heart could stop working at any moment.

At that moment, Ash says,

“Oh, by the way! Where is Sylvia?”

“…”

Oh, I know.

Fuck, I know, I know.

Yeah, I know that the girl you like isn’t me. I know that.

I’m saying you don’t have to remind me of this over and over again.

My heart is pounding with excitement.

More, more, more, more, more.

Too, too hot,

Even hotter than when I met that son of a b*tch Balder who was hiding in that stinking dog shit town,

It was so hot that I felt like I was going to die right now, at this very moment.

No, no.

I am not stupid.

embrace.

This means I’m angry.

He’s very angry.

why?

Do you know that the woman who will be by Ash’s side is not me but Sylvia?

No, you already knew that.

Are you annoyed that Ash only looks for Sylvia even though I’m right next to him?

That might be the case.

But, damn it, Sylvia is Ash’s lover.

Because what Ash loves is… that fucking Sylvia.

I forced myself to suppress my anger and sighed.

It was a hot sigh that momentarily cooked the prayer and esophagus and then recovered.

“I went to find that bunch of monsters and subdue them.”

“Huh? When?”

“Ash, when the guy you attacked started screaming.”

“ah…”

What is that reaction?

Do you like Sylvia that much?

So much so that you can’t stand this moment with me?

No, calm down.

Alice, you crazy b*tch. Please.

Be cool, be cool

Look at Ash.

Take a good look at Ash, who I like so much.

An awkward expression, hunched shoulders as if nervous, and eyes that seemed anxious yet sad.

Ash is worried about me.

A little while ago, when I tried to remind you of my death again, you changed the subject.

If you think about it a little, you’ll understand.

She wasn’t that clueless.

Please stop rolling your eyes in anger.

If you’ve been controlling everything your whole life, you don’t even want to control your last moments with Ash!

“Shouldn’t I go help?”

“why?”

“Why? How many do you think there will be?”

help?

Does she need any help?

I said with a snicker.

“I guess it wouldn’t matter if there were a hundred of them.”

Ash looked at me like that, as if he found it strange.

“What, why are you looking at me like that?”

“No, it’s just awkward for me to hear my older sister compliment Sylvia.”

“… under,”

Yeah,

In front of Ash, I’m just a crazy b*tch who insults my lover.

An ex-fiancee whose engagement was never formally finalized.

On the topic of my older sister’s best friend and childhood friend.

yes.

I’m finally starting to get the hang of the topic.

I sighed and said to Ash.

“Well… I have to acknowledge his power. That’s why I can leave Ash to him.”

I managed to squeeze out a compliment that was the exact opposite of what my pounding heart wanted to say.

It was almost like something I had said forcibly, but it wasn’t exactly wrong.

In this chaotic world where all laws and social order have collapsed, there is no one better than Sylvia to protect Ash.

Ash’s eyes widened in admiration at my words.

Looking at that sight, my face turned red for no reason, so I guess I was a pretty easy woman too.

“Hmm, good.”

“what?”

“When my older sister says that, I feel like I have received permission from my family to get married.”

“… what?”

what?

What the fuck?

“No, that’s true. Right now, the only person I can call family is my older sister.”

ah,

aha.

Aha, shit, I see.

Hahahaha,

I realized.

Coincidentally, I noticed it.

family,

My family, who I thought were already dead, haha, what the hell, they were here?

I see

To Ash, I was already family.

From the beginning, I wasn’t even a candidate for his lover.

Because we are so close, because we have been together since childhood,

Even though we met after many years and finally saw each other as adults, I was already family to you, to the point where I didn’t feel excited at all.

I was excited.

“… Ash,”

“huh,”

Ash’s eyes, staring at me intently, were glowing red from the curse, but at the same time, they were so pure and clear.

That’s why it was even more cruel.

Do you like Sylvia that much?

what?

What on earth is so great about it?

Why is that girl the only one who can fight and I can’t?

Why was it that only she saw Maria’s end, and I didn’t?

Why is that girl Ash’s lover and I don’t even have a chance?

Why? Why, whywhy, why, just me?

“…”

really,

I feel sick.

“Why am I your family?”

“… uh?”

Ash froze in place.

Then a monster appeared from the dirt.

.